Best Chuck Norris Jokes Ever!

[Christian Hernandez]

Once chuck norris and mister T walked into a bar, the bar instantly exploded. That level of awesome cannot be contained in one building

A chuck norris roundhouse is the only thing than can create a wormhole

If there was a rip in the fabric of space/time and chuck norris had to fight himself, chuck norris would win PERIOD.

If you fired a gun at chuck norris you would miss every shot, why? because no bullet is stupid enough to hit chuck norris

[dragonmoon]

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

Chuck Norris can chew glass back into sand.

At museums Chuck Norris is allowed to touch the art.

Chuck Norris can add injury to insult.

MC Hammer was dissapointed when he found out that Chuck Norris could touch this.

When Chuck Norris throws a boomarang it doesn't dare come back

Do you know how many push ups Chuck Norris has done? All of them

Chuck Norris doesn't own a lawn mower,... he just stands in his yard and dares it to grow.

[mommanessy247]

Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick round houses into squares.

The Waiting Line for Chuck Norris' Office is better known as "Death Row".

Chuck Norris' fists are named law & order.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink.

[Aes_Sidhe]

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fracking Indian.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two"

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

And No Offense Southern USA:
There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

[RetiredJedi]

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.

[RetiredJedi]

Helen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.

[RetiredJedi]

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

[RetiredJedi]

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

[RetiredJedi]

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

[RetiredJedi]

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.