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Thanks for the comments and not flaming me for this. It is what I feel I need to do. And if I don't keep anymore in the future then I'll be fine with that they can't show me the love like my wife does.
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Thats a hard choice. If she knew about your pets and love for reptiles before getting married thats not right to make you choose.
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Re: Think I'm going to take a break from snakes for a while
 Originally Posted by bruster
Thanks for the comments and not flaming me for this. It is what I feel I need to do. And if I don't keep anymore in the future then I'll be fine with that they can't show me the love like my wife does.
Fantastic point you've made. No matter how much I love my (ridiculous amount of) animals, if I had someone I truly loved and knew I wanted to be with for the rest of my life, I'd give up some of my pets if they asked me to. I understand the whole argument of your significant other being understanding of your passion, but if they genuinely frighten her then that is quite different.
Connections with your animals are great, but human companionship and true love are far greater, in my opinion.
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BPnet Veteran
Re: Think I'm going to take a break from snakes for a while
Thats a rough decision to make BUT you gotta do what you gotta do .... MY Wife HATES and is Terrified of my snakes but she tolerates them. Maybe a break will be ok and she will see how much you miss them. Another thing that made my wife feel better was me locking the racks with wire ties and now that I have a room for them keeping the door locked ....but I dont know why she wants the door locked they arent going to be able to turn the handle. lol
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Re: Think I'm going to take a break from snakes for a while
 Originally Posted by bruster
Thanks for the comments and not flaming me for this. It is what I feel I need to do. And if I don't keep anymore in the future then I'll be fine with that they can't show me the love like my wife does.
As long as you can avoid resenting her for making you give them up. My approach to the in laws would be to overreact. Try to make them as uncomfortable as they make you and they will stop bringing it up. You of course need the support of your wife for this. My fiancee and I agree that we are a team even if it means we have to turn on our family from time to time. She is my number one priority until we have kids. Sometimes I see in laws try to create issues where there doesn't need to be any and a strong united front is the best defense against that in my opinion.
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The Following User Says Thank You to Egapal For This Useful Post:
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Registered User
You gotta do what you gotta do brotha. Sometimes we gotta make those tough kinda decisions. It's all about compromise and sometimes sacrificing. Good luck to ya.
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You know there could be another side to the story. Do what you have to do for now and maybe she will come around and enjoy them at a later date.
I had snakes when I was a kid and after I got married wanted to get back into it. My wife said no way, we are not having snakes in this house. After quiet awhile one day she came home and said I got you an early Christmas present let's go get it. Well it was an adopted full grown BP and since then we have added 2 more and I am still shopping. She has gotten to where she will even handle them now and helps take care of them when I am gone...
Just saying you never know so dont give up all hope...
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Re: Think I'm going to take a break from snakes for a while
 Originally Posted by grits
Thats a hard choice. If she knew about your pets and love for reptiles before getting married thats not right to make you choose.
Shea not making me choose her or the snakes, we talked some last night and she understands my facination by them, with her having a biology degree. But is terrified of them being in the house even with the enncloser having locks. I know I'll be able to have other reptile like lizard and frogs. Recently I have come very interested in Pac man frogs and bearded dragons.
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Re: Think I'm going to take a break from snakes for a while
 Originally Posted by bruster
Shea not making me choose her or the snakes, we talked some last night and she understands my facination by them, with her having a biology degree. But is terrified of them being in the house even with the enncloser having locks. I know I'll be able to have other reptile like lizard and frogs. Recently I have come very interested in Pac man frogs and bearded dragons.
its always sad to me to see irrational fears. It sounds like her parents just raised her to hate snakes. I don't mean that they went out of their way to ingrain the fear or anything just that they didn't do anything to stop irrational fears. My mother is a bit creaped out by snakes. She once asked me jokingly "How did I raise a snake lover?" I vary seriously answered her, "You taught me to be fearless, and inquisitive. You showed me that things most people consider impossible are trivial if you apply yourself. You raised me around horses which taught me how to respect animals and that a little pain is part of loving and caring for animals. That young boy you raised picked up his first garter snake and was intrigued. He had no fear of snakes for what could a garter snake do compared to a horse. He started reading about snakes and was hooked."
A snake is a lizard without legs. Nothing to be afraid of. I wish it were easier to deal with irrational fear.
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Registered User
Thanks, I have gone without having snakes before only for about 2 years, i\I'm only 26 and have plenty of time. So I know this isn't going to kill me and resent her for having a fear of them and not being comfortable with them. They are taking up our only spare room right now and the is a small problem for future. Hopefully if we move and buy or build a bigger house I can try for a small room in the garage area. My brother wont be back for sea til July after that I will just become even closer buddies to my friend that breeds balls, boas, and is considering to breed some bloods and use that to fill what void may be there.
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