A little of what I have been dealing with lately!!

[SlitherinSisters]

Oh man this sounds like a terrible mess. I hate to say it, but moving schools might be the only solution.

[BPelizabeth]

Sorry its been a while...computer issues, not to mention I think I have just been mentally exhausted...lol. Tristen is in a mixed martial arts class now and goes 4 days a week. He loves it and his 2 trainers are actually professional fighters. They have been so great to him and have really embraced him.

As far as the situation I met with the Asst. Superintendant and the meeting went quite well. I have some renewed hope but will not know anything until around Tuesday or Wednesday.

As far as Tristen ...he carries his phone with him and has been instructed to call me with ANYTHING that happens. I am keeping a calendar of all things. As far as the police....they were called and an assualt report was filed, however the police put it back on the school. Which is soooo frustrating!! If I don't feel like this is being handled ....BG is totally correct...a lawsuit will ensue. We are not the type of ppl to do that however if that is what it takes to get them to stand up and listen...then so be it.

Tristen has been so amazing through all of this. He realizes that I am fighting to keep him safe.....and WE are fighting so that other kids in the future don't have to deal with this type of thing.

Tristen will be going to to a different school starting next year. We found an amazing charter school that has a great reputation. Very structured and their academic standards are amazing. I know next year will be a hard adjustment for him but the level of education he will receive is outstanding.

I appreciate all of the advice and all of the well wishes. It really does make a difference when you are fighting an entire establishment.....(to know your not crazy)

[Kymberli]

That's a great choice, charter school saved my education.

[Big Gunns]

Sorry its been a while...computer issues, not to mention I think I have just been mentally exhausted...lol. Tristen is in a mixed martial arts class now and goes 4 days a week. He loves it and his 2 trainers are actually professional fighters. They have been so great to him and have really embraced him.

As far as the situation I met with the Asst. Superintendant and the meeting went quite well. I have some renewed hope but will not know anything until around Tuesday or Wednesday.

As far as Tristen ...he carries his phone with him and has been instructed to call me with ANYTHING that happens. I am keeping a calendar of all things. As far as the police....they were called and an assualt report was filed, however the police put it back on the school. Which is soooo frustrating!! If I don't feel like this is being handled ....BG is totally correct...a lawsuit will ensue. We are not the type of ppl to do that however if that is what it takes to get them to stand up and listen...then so be it.

Tristen has been so amazing through all of this. He realizes that I am fighting to keep him safe.....and WE are fighting so that other kids in the future don't have to deal with this type of thing.

Tristen will be going to to a different school starting next year. We found an amazing charter school that has a great reputation. Very structured and their academic standards are amazing. I know next year will be a hard adjustment for him but the level of education he will receive is outstanding.

I appreciate all of the advice and all of the well wishes. It really does make a difference when you are fighting an entire establishment.....(to know your not crazy)

Isn't he ALWAYS?

[Skiploder]

Sorry its been a while...computer issues, not to mention I think I have just been mentally exhausted...lol. Tristen is in a mixed martial arts class now and goes 4 days a week. He loves it and his 2 trainers are actually professional fighters. They have been so great to him and have really embraced him.

As far as the situation I met with the Asst. Superintendant and the meeting went quite well. I have some renewed hope but will not know anything until around Tuesday or Wednesday.

As far as Tristen ...he carries his phone with him and has been instructed to call me with ANYTHING that happens. I am keeping a calendar of all things. As far as the police....they were called and an assualt report was filed, however the police put it back on the school. Which is soooo frustrating!! If I don't feel like this is being handled ....BG is totally correct...a lawsuit will ensue. We are not the type of ppl to do that however if that is what it takes to get them to stand up and listen...then so be it.

Tristen has been so amazing through all of this. He realizes that I am fighting to keep him safe.....and WE are fighting so that other kids in the future don't have to deal with this type of thing.

Tristen will be going to to a different school starting next year. We found an amazing charter school that has a great reputation. Very structured and their academic standards are amazing. I know next year will be a hard adjustment for him but the level of education he will receive is outstanding.

I appreciate all of the advice and all of the well wishes. It really does make a difference when you are fighting an entire establishment.....(to know your not crazy)

I can't imagine the pain you are your husband are going through. One of the worst fears a parent has is not being able to protect your children. It's a primal fear - there is nothing worse than watching your kid in pain (be it mental or physical) and not being able to get a handle on it.

While taking him to mixed martial arts classes is nice on several levels, it's a palliative. On one hand it can give a great self-esteem boost, on the other, it provides no guarantee that he will be able to successfully defend himself. All bets are off when the real fisticuffs start, and some people can't ever mentally get over that someone wants to do them harm.

If I missed it in a prior post, forgive me, but are you taking him to counseling? From what it sounds like, he's been dealing with a little more than your garden variety bullying. There's probably a great deal he needs to get off his chest.

I'm also wondering what the parents of these other children have to say for themselves. I'm sure your son knows who is bullying him and that the parents of these kids have been notified. I'm curious as to how they've reacted.

[BPelizabeth]

I can't imagine the pain you are your husband are going through. One of the worst fears a parent has is not being able to protect your children. It's a primal fear - there is nothing worse than watching your kid in pain (be it mental or physical) and not being able to get a handle on it.

While taking him to mixed martial arts classes is nice on several levels, it's a palliative. On one hand it can give a great self-esteem boost, on the other, it provides no guarantee that he will be able to successfully defend himself. All bets are off when the real fisticuffs start, and some people can't ever mentally get over that someone wants to do them harm.

If I missed it in a prior post, forgive me, but are you taking him to counseling? From what it sounds like, he's been dealing with a little more than your garden variety bullying. There's probably a great deal he needs to get off his chest.

I'm also wondering what the parents of these other children have to say for themselves. I'm sure your son knows who is bullying him and that the parents of these kids have been notified. I'm curious as to how they've reacted.

The parents are in total denial. Not MY son...blah blah blah. These parents were friends of ours and I use to babysit their kids. We had problems with him previously as did the parents. In fact he beat up his 13 year sister that was visiting for the summer. Parents of course blamed it on the sister and stated he was bothering him till he finally broke. Sad!! After this summer we really stepped away from our friendship as we watched them constantly make up excuses for his scary behavior. Seriously could go on and on with the stories. I do not have Tristen in counseling but that is probably a really good idea that I should look into.

Ok....now for the update. The district came back to me first with a letter stating false information. Basically it was a cover your butt letter. Then they called and told me that Tristen was bullying this kid 50% of the time. They based this on the fact that Tristen has said things back to the kid after this child did something to him. So now....their idea is NOT to seperate the children....but to teach them to work together. Yea....because that has worked in the past. So basically Tristen has to learn to work with someone that has been violent with him on several occassions. Basically I think they are doing this to cover their butts on a law suit. If they make it look like both boys have done it.....then maybe they are home free. I also think they are setting my son up....so they can build a case against us. I asked the super to look look into past behaviors and grades as Tristen has always been an A-B student with excellent citizenship. He felt that dwelling on the past was not important! UGH

So....here we are with decisions to be made. We are trying currently to figure out what type of attorney to get for this type of situation. I am taking my son out of school immediately and will home school him. I have spoken to his teacher and his grades are strong enough that he will still pass into 5th grade. He also stated he will give me all the work that they will be doing for the next 6 weeks so I can do it at home with him. Won't count towards his grades but at least he will have the knowledge and honestly probably more than what he would learn at school. At this point in the year it is too late to set up a "real" home school or move him to a different school.

At some point I feel like maybe we are teaching my son to run from his problems but on the other hand I feel like we are keeping him safe. I really think that Tristen is being set up by the school to fail to ensure that they would win a case and I just cannot let him be a target anymore.

[wilomn]

Find dirt on the principal and past bullying in that school. Go the the next PTA meeting and voice your concerns, get them on public record. Go to your next city council meeting and do the same. If they're playing dirty, well, you're not me but you could probably imagine what I might do in your situation.

Make a BIG sign, put it on top of your car, park in a public place right outside the school. The sign should say something like: Principal SoandSo, or Sauhaurita (can't recall the name of the school) Elementary Allows Bullying.

If you make a big enough stink someone will eventually look to see why. Have you written to your governor yet?

[Dave763]

It is normal human behavior. All primates do this. I was bullied in school. So what? Running is not the answer.
Keep him in school and let him deal with it on his own. He may even learn to defend himself.

Once he beats the crap out of the bully things will change for him. More self confidence. Peers will look up to him.
Best part,...bullies will think twice before messing with him. He doesn't even need to win the fight, just put up a good one is all.
Part of growing up.

My 2 cents

[maverickgtr]

Good luck girl! I wouldn't think it's running from the situation. If he's being repeatedly beaten up at school and his teachers/principal/district/etc aren't going to protect him or truly separate him from the bully, then you've got to get him out of the situation. If the school is starting to cover their butt, then it's clear they aren't actually going to even attempt to do anything to actually help your son. If you get a good lawyer, he/she should be able to prove that the letter they sent you is false. A jury won't side against a bullied child. The tough part is getting the bully to confess and not try to flip the story on your son.