Any therapists/counselors here??

[STEW]

You are Making excuses for her actions....... I understand where you are comming from though...... my wife and I have made it through way worse than this. Im just sayin, that is way beyond a normal thing to do to someone.


Also, Using a child to stay in a relationship is the worst advice ever. You can be a great parent either way. Sometimes its more healthy for the child when the parents are not together.

[Capt._Howdy]

dude do what u feel is right i know how it feels only difference is that my ex was cheating on me while i was at home watching our daughter i ended up finding out threw my bestfriend it sucks i know but who know her friends must not be the brightest crayon in the box since she was the one that came up with that brilliant idea. just talk it out and if you can trust her let it go if not somthing has to be done.

[PyroPython]

Just basically her friend telling her to see how i would react. Because my fiance was worried that i didnt want to be with her. Because of our rocky past. I was a bit on the angry side, exploding alot, etc. She is having a hard time letting go of the past even though ive gone thru my little brothers death in december, did the whole epiphany thing, and started being there for her more. She was afraid it was all an act so she asked hr friends advice.

Needless to say, her friend is an idiot.

[chasingtime]

if you completely trust her then get on with loving each other but if not tell her to swear on something sacred. if she's a good girl she'll come clean and then you can decide what to do. whatever you do drop your ego and be a gentleman (gentle man) no more blowing up...

[PyroPython]

The exploding wasnt ego based. It was years of built up stress and some other things going on in life (probation) just causing stress i couldnt cope with. I dont get like that anymore tho. Its not worth it.

As for the whole swearing on something thing, im neither religious nor supersticious so it wouldnt change my slight concerns i have lingering. I will just have to trust her, which im doing. Slowly.

[kc261]

Also, Using a child to stay in a relationship is the worst advice ever. You can be a great parent either way. Sometimes its more healthy for the child when the parents are not together.

Since not many other people made a comment about the child, I guess this is in response to me. I said the child made it worth trying to save AND IMPROVE the relationship. I didn't say anyone should stay in a bad relationship for a child.

However, the commonly held belief that kids will be better off when their parents separate/divorce does not have much basis in scientific fact. It is something that is very hard to study scientifically, but from what I've read & my personal experience, there is little if any "trickle down" effect on making the child happier/healthier for the average situation. That is what makes it worth trying to fix a broken relationship when a child is involved, rather than just giving up.

[chasingtime]

The exploding wasnt ego based. It was years of built up stress and some other things going on in life (probation) just causing stress i couldnt cope with. I dont get like that anymore tho. Its not worth it.

As for the whole swearing on something thing, im neither religious nor supersticious so it wouldnt change my slight concerns i have lingering. I will just have to trust her, which im doing. Slowly.

sounds good my friend. stay happy and keep loving...

[TankMasterOG]

That a keeper 4 sure............

[BPelizabeth]

Do not stay in a relationship for a child!! It sounds like this is NOT the reason though! I might suggest for the both of you to go to couple counseling prior to getting married. Bottom line.....it cannot hurt!!! It will help the two of you to understand how to truly communicate and it will also teach you how to keep the relationship strong and exciting. Seriously!! It is nothing bad for couples to go to counseling....you learn allot about each other. After all that women are from Venus men from....I dunno...Mars or something is true. We say things and don't realize that the opposite sex is totally taking it a different way!! Just my suggestion!!

[mainbutter]

We say things and don't realize that the opposite sex is totally taking it a different way!!

Things like "I cheated on you... just kidding"?

lol

Agreed, nothing wrong with couples counseling.