Ever feel like....(rant)

[Mike Schultz]

I was in a similar situation a while back.

I was 19 when I dropped out of "real" college, then eventually ended up dropping out of community college as well when my younger brother committed suicide. I was living in my parents' basement and working at Petsmart while my brain rotted. Sure I had friends, and I hung out with them pretty much every day, but life gets dull when all you do is smoke pot and drink cheap beer every night until you pass out next to the girl of the week, hoping a. that you didnt catch anything and b. that she didnt get pregnant.

It sounds to me like you are dealing with depression- I know because I deal with it too. You know you have responsibilities (school in your case), but you dont have the motivation to just suck it up and get it over with. Things that you used to enjoy just seem like they arent worth the effort anymore.

My advice is this: start doing more things you enjoy, find a job you enjoy, and take things one step at a time. You aren't going to wake up one day and get aphone call from a Marine Biologist asking for a personal assistant to join them on their boat while they study humpback whale migration patterns. For now- just find a job that you can enjoy (even minimally) to save up and eventually go to the "real" college where you can follow your dreams.

I thought my life was pointless a while back, but I just realized one day I was going the same direction as my younger brother. I turned it around- I got a job cleaning plastic bins all day at Outback, saved up enough money to move out, and found a girl I could stick with longer than a week. Stopped doing drugs, only drink about once or twice a month, and generally stopped with the self-destructive behavior I was engaging in. I still smoke, but I plan on quitting ( as i'm sure some people here know its not an easy task ).

I'm now paying the bills each month, I'm no longer a dishwasher monkey at work (higher responsibilities, higher pay), I still have my own house and I'm slowly saving up money to go back to school. I don't know what I'm going to study but like I said, take things one step at a time. There's no hurry to just suddenly get everything straight and lead a perfect TV sitcom life.

Sorry for the life story, but I feel like I can relate on a certain degree. What worked for me may not work for everyone, but I hope ito does- my "in a nutshell" advice is to just sit back, relax, and look at things systematically. Take things one step at a time and everything will fall into place.

Oh, and also- don't dwell on the past- I'm talking about your ex. She doesnt care about you and you shouldnt care about her with the way she treats you. Listen to the song "self esteem" by The Offspring

Good luck with everything;
Mike Schultz