lol im a girl."Yes hello, officer, I'd like to report a cricketing."
" Yes, that's right, like the chirping insects. They're all over my house."
"I have no idea how many there are. Millions. They're everywhere."
"No Ma'am, I have not been drinking. I am sober as a church mouse and there are crickets all over my house."
"I think my neighbor has something to do with it. That boy keeps snakes. He probably worships the devil too."
"Yes, I know this is America, but devil worshipers should be killed and sent straight to hell. Says so in the bible"
"No, I don't have any proof. I just know he did. He's got shifty eyes and those snakes just make my skin crawl. Friends of the devil, snakes are."
"You're going to do what? You're not sending a car? What do you mean? I'm invaded by insects and that devil worshipping snake keeping miscreant is sitting next door laughing. I just know he is."
"An exterminator? That's expensive isn't it? Will the police department pay for that since you won't come out and arrest that boy?"
"No? So you won't do anything? I'm a good god fearing taxing paying christian, I pay your salary and you're not going to do a thing for me?"
"Let me talk to your commanding.....hello? Hello? Is anyone there...."