Family stress....any opinions?

[missi182]

Its apparant that is a parenting issue, I doubt you will have any influence no matter what approach you take. If the parents haven't seen a problem and keep on providing her financial assistance there is no point to her making a change. I'm sure if her parents took away all they have been providing for her she would learn to calm her nuggets down a bit before talking.

Thats exactly what my dad did to my brother. He took his car, his new jacket, his allowance (at the time), his jewelery (he had his ears and eyebrow pierced) and anything of value and told him to smarten up. It worked great until my brother moved out a year later.

But yes, I agree and that's why I think Im basically stuck between a rock and a hard place because her parents see it and know that they should do something....but they just don't do anything. She's their last child living at home out of three and I honestly think they have just given up.

[missi182]

I guess my next question is...

Have you told your husband how you feel?

Does he agree?

He says "just ignore her, she'll grow out of it"....and I entirely disagree. He doesn't try to argue about it because he understands how I feel but he just sees it as his little sister being a pain.

[LadyOhh]

He says "just ignore her, she'll grow out of it"....and I entirely disagree. He doesn't try to argue about it because he understands how I feel but he just sees it as his little sister being a pain.

Well, I guess the bottom line is, as much as you hate it, she is not your responsibility...

But if she sets foot in your house, she is under your rules. And make sure she knows that.

If she doesn't appreciate it, kick her to the curb.

[Greybeard]

I feel for you. The only advice i can offer is what I had to do in a similar situation.
Here are my rules or there is the door. I
ts tough but they have to take responsibility for the actions.

Have a great day.

[missi182]

I knew there wasn't much I can do. I think the most bothersome thing is that she tends to behave poorly while we visit her house (my in-laws) but not really at my house. So I've tought about saying you can come visit when your parents say you are behaving but my hubby doesn't think thats a good idea. Oh well, I'll just stick to my guns when shes on my turf and when she acts out toward me.

[letstalksnakes]

My thing that helped me in sictuations was
"I use to care,but i have a pill for that now!"
All kidding a side,if she is not willing to come to terms with the reality of life or in lame terms get her crap together,then unfortuanly reality is going to come hard for her.
She sounds to me to be a young know it all who takes alot of things for granted.
And unfortuanly she is going to learn very hard lessons in life.
I feel for you and wish we could all wave a magic wand and "poof" the problem solved,but this is something that you are going to have to do on your own.
The most advice i could give you is called "Tough Love" let her know youll be there for her when she needs you,but also let her know that you mean business and will not put up with her antics in the same sence.
If not,then you have to do what you have to do and let her make her own bad choices are on her own.
The most you can do is give her good advice,the rest is up to her.

[mainbutter]

It's funny to call someone who can't perform in school a know-it-all.

[missi182]

It's funny to call someone who can't perform in school a know-it-all.

That's called an oxymoron my dear heh