Allow me to rant for a bit, and tell you a big long story..

In June, my mother informed me that she wants to sell the house. Now we knew this was going to happen, but she was always saying how we had at least two more years before that because they had a lot of fixing to do. So, it totally bombed any of our plans (we live in one of their extra houses they don't live in anymore, and we do pay them for it). So, she said we have till October then. Well...at the moment we didn't know what to do. We didn't think we could afford buying a house, plus we DONT want to stay in this state. I have never lived in a state where I am soooo frustrated with the people. We had plans to continue on and move to Washington. So my mother comes up with the great idea, I had taken some days off for my birthday, why not fly up to Seattle and look into the housing market and see if it's somewhere we'd really like to be.
So, July came around. Ugh. It was wonderful. The area was so clean, the air was great, people didn't drive me up the wall. The cost of living is a little higher of course, but I had already looked into transferring and we'd be making enough there that it evens out. So it all looked great. We were even finding nice little houses within our price range.

Then the battle came. Finding a house that was still available and finding a good realtor. Every house we looked at was getting snatched up quickly. We started to feel hopeless, and I was starting to get angry and frustrated. The last day we were there we found the best realtor in the world, she showed us houses that had just come onto the market, were in our price range and didn't try and push us out of it, spent all day with us looking at several houses. At the end of the day we put in offers for three different houses. I went home the next day and we waited. At home we started getting some odds and ends together. Making our plans and making sure we wouldn't be setting ourselves up for failure. Then one of our offers was accepted! One the house I really really wanted in the first place! Great! We started the process, and about a week end, hit a dead end. The loan company wanted us to move right away. Like, tomorrow right away. Transfer our jobs, show residency, prove our pay within at least another week. Either that, or get proof that we were transferring, which isn't how it works at our job. They just won't do it.

I wasn't willing to risk jumping like that, so after a couple of hours banging it out to see if we could do it, we ended up backing out. My parents gave us until May/next summer to situate ourselves, because they saw first hand how hard it was to find an available home. We thought we would just get an apartment in the Seattle area until we could get a house, but the expenses of it added up to a lost of wasted money. Plus, we have two dogs and two cats, and no one wanted to touch that. My mom started to talk about selling the RV they had. Great! We could buy it, use it to live in temporarily until we got things taken care of with the house. We agreed that she would just give it to us, and our 'payment' for it would be to fix it up since had some very small things wrong with it (needed new tires, a new battery and a fridge. Probably some new carpets and just needed a good cleaning).

So for the last few months, this is what we thought we were going to be doing. I'm talking to her last night and she's suddenly asking me twenty questions about our plans. What month we're leaving, how we're going to do it, if we're going to get an apartment once we get there. She KNOWS what we planned on doing, so I asked what her deal was. I guess the RV is in worse shape then she thought, and she thinks it's not going to make it to Washington. Once more, back peddling out of something she said would happen. She said we'd figure it out later and brushed it off like no big deal.

But it is to me...Everytime we seem to be doing so good and then something crashes in our face. I'm beginning to think it's never going to happen, and we're going to get stuck here, which is what I told my mom and my partner when they asked me why I didn't want to come back here. I told them we'd get stuck. I'm so frustrated, and I'm starting to get depressed. It's so disheartening to feel so incredibly close to one of your dreams in life, and then to get smacked in the face and told no over and over and over again. I sometimes wish I never told myself we could do this...what a stupid idea. v.v