Ughhh help me convince my mom!!!

Okay, so I have a Ball Python, it took me 2 years to get it because my grandma lives with us and is scared of every animal known to man. I have spent over 4 years studying snakes so that when I got one I would be a good owner and about 7 months ago I got a baby Ball Python from the pet store, it is just a normal. Since I got it I feel I have been an exceptional owner, I always make sure he has a full bowl of clean water, I clean his cage out once a month, I feed him every saturday never missing a day, and I always make sure he has the perect heat and humidity, I also hold him everyday with the exception being feeding day. He is about 2 1/2 - 3 feet and is doing great. I have him in a 75 gallon aquarium and have been told by many people including breeders at reptile shows that the tank is too big and I agree so we are going to split the tank in half with a divider and leave him on the one side. I have been begging my mom to let me get another Ball Python for the other side and even after explaining to her it would cost no more money than before because in heat we already have the lights and I have 3 extra fixtures and 2 extra day bulbs and 2 extra night bulbs. In aspen it would be the same amount of aspen because we are not expanding the tank I would need enough to cover both sides just as I do now. in food I feed mine 2 a week but have told by experts to save money move him down to 1 rat a week he will thrive just as he does now but it would save money I could feed my snake one and the new one the other if I get one that eats the same size rats mine does therefore equaling 2 a week just as it is now. I have 3 large hides and 3 large water bowls and about 4 toys/decorations for the snakes to climb on. I have spent 4 yeas studying reptiles mostly Ball Pythons and now have almost a year of experience with a Ball Python and I feel I am ready to take on the task of caring for another reptile. This is my passion it is what I want to do when I grow up and reptiles are very important to me and although I love the snake I have now and still will play with if I got a new one, I would really enjoy getting some experience dealing with more than one reptile. Yes I do realize it would be cheaper to make the changes I talked about and not get a new one but it is absolutely no prolem doing what I am doing now therefore it will be no problem making the changes and getting a new snake. I would also like to say no, I do not mooch off of my parents to pay for the stuff for the most part I pay for everything for my snake with money from mowing my neighbors yards. What should I say to her to convince her to let me get another snake? I am not trying to be rude but please don't answer with something like enjoy what you have now or you may not think so but if you get another snake you will stop caring for the one you have now, I jusf want to know what to say to my mom.

First rule of living under someone else's roof: Its their roof ;)

Did your mom voice why she doesn't want another snake? It would be easier to form a compelling argument if you were aware of her opinions and feelings regarding another ball python.

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Originally Posted by shadowsnakes

First rule of living under someone else's roof: Its their roof ;)

Did your mom voice why she doesn't want another snake? It would be easier to form a compelling argument if you were aware of her opinions and feelings regarding another ball python.

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My mom said that she does not want another snake because we have too many animals already. We have a cat 2 dogs in the back a dog inside and my little brother has a dog. While I agree we have a lot of animals, not to be disrespectful to my mother but I did not ask for any of them except for my snake and the snake would not take up anymore space it would only fill the space already taken. if it is a money issue you saw the post it would cost the same and I pay for most of it.She loves nightmare ( my snake ) so does my 3 year old sister and everyone else in the house except of course my grandmother but I am respectful and let her know when I am holding it and I told her if she is scared and would like for me to get rid of it i would but she says it doesn't bother her anymore as long as I don't take it and put it in her face she has even voluntarily touched him.

As a mom I can tell you this just might be bad timing. The holidays are stressful, even when everything goes well. There are more obligations, financial and personal. You've probably been home from school for a few weeks, and families are often out of their regular routine during school breaks. As wonderful as the season can be, it's also a very stressful time. It just may not be the best time to ask your mom to take on something new or additional (even if you handle the bulk of the responsibility.). Give it a couple months, and try again.


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I suppose point out the fact there is no cost to her and there is no additional space or supplies needed. You already have an enclosure ready for your snake, you just need the snake. Many reputable breeders sell normals for $20-$30. Confidence is key, but so is respect for your mother.

Don't forget you will need a seperate quarantine space for a few months while the new snake acclimates, or you could risk transmitting some serious parasites and illnesses to Nightmare. Entire collections have been wiped out by careless or nonexistant quarantine procedures.

My main question is if you have a solid plan for how you're going to split the tank to where they cannot get from one side to the other? My second question would be is there enough room in the tank for both the snakes to grow in? If you need to buy more tubs or any other supplies in the future it COULD be somewhat costly. My suggestion would be to save up enough money and do your research to prove to your mom that you're serious about it.


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Originally Posted by shadowsnakes

I suppose point out the fact there is no cost to her and there is no additional space or supplies needed. You already have an enclosure ready for your snake, you just need the snake. Many reputable breeders sell normals for $20-$30. Confidence is key, but so is respect for your mother.

Don't forget you will need a seperate quarantine space for a few months while the new snake acclimates, or you could risk transmitting some serious parasites and illnesses to Nightmare. Entire collections have been wiped out by careless or nonexistant quarantine procedures.

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I apologize for taking your time with this I know this may seem like I lied about studying animals but I assure you that is no lie but what is a quarantine space and could nightmare get a disease even if the other snake has no disease ( I know that sounds very stupid but i want to be sure )

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Originally Posted by Xtina

As a mom I can tell you this just might be bad timing. The holidays are stressful, even when everything goes well. There are more obligations, financial and personal. You've probably been home from school for a few weeks, and families are often out of their regular routine during school breaks. As wonderful as the season can be, it's also a very stressful time. It just may not be the best time to ask your mom to take on something new or additional (even if you handle the bulk of the responsibility.). Give it a couple months, and try again.

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Thank you I understand that the holidays are stressful and I probaly wait I guess I will just focus on Nightmare ( my snake ) for a couple of months

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Originally Posted by dylanhagler

I apologize for taking your time with this I know this may seem like I lied about studying animals but I assure you that is no lie but what is a quarantine space and could nightmare get a disease even if the other snake has no disease ( I know that sounds very stupid but i want to be sure )

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Reptiles have a neat but annoying ability to hide illnesses until they become a concern. Respiratory infection, IBD, mites, ticks, internal parasites... some of these have external visible signs, many do not.

Quarantine space is an area away from your established snake, ideally on the other side of the house. Keep them seperate for at least three months to make sure there are no issues with your new addition, then you can put them in the divided tank.

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Originally Posted by shadowsnakes

Reptiles have a neat but annoying ability to hide illnesses until they become a concern. Respiratory infection, IBD, mites, ticks, internal parasites... some of these have external visible signs, many do not.

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I did not know that thank you for telling me that before I went and got Nightmare sick.

honestly depending on youre relationship with your mother you could just get another one and keep it hidden. my mom didnt want me getting one but she dealt with it by not coming in my room anymore since july (which is a plus for me anyway) little does she know i now have 3. but i also go back to my house for college in a week

When I was a kid, my mother absolutely hated every reptile I brought home. although at that time, unbeknownst to her, I was also bringing home and breeding brown widow spiders.

Long story short, It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission.:gj:

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Originally Posted by Wizard

Long story short, It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission.:gj:

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I hear that a lot and I think Im starting to believe it. hahaha

Or become like me. Your parents tell you no for so long that when you finally move out you go nuts with buying more of them. lol I've been moved out four/five months now and seem to have acquired a new addition every month or so. I think I'm reaching my "I'm satisfied for now point." Just a boa and maybe one more ball python female. Males will come next year.

http://ball-pythons.net/forums/showt...ld-i-start-out

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I'm only 13 but I am really into reptiles and have been for a very long time. I would like to start breeding, nothing major right now but my dad is gonna be building me a shed or building or garage, something like that so i can start breeding some reptiles. With space being an obvious problem I can only get about 15-25 reptiles. Does anyone know some morphs i could get for cheap but when bred together the outcome would make me a decent profit. I would like to breed any type of python and any type of boa.

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take it slow, dont panic, you have time. learn as much as you can, but at age 13, i can see why your parents dont want you to have too many pets. for you, school should be rather important, and all the natural sciences are easy when you use the internet to learn ahead. anticipate what the classes will be about next week and look it up online. then in school, you already know what will be coming while the others have no idea, and good grades are easy to get.

right now, the people that control which animals you keep, and how many you keep, are unfortunately your parents. it will take some years until that changes.

EDIT: you will be truly independent when you have a job, and your own home, and make your own money. but for that, its useful to get a really good education first.

My mother is absolutely terrified of snakes. As a result I was not allowed to keep any at home when I lived with them and it sucked. I got my own place when I was 17 and in less then 2 years my collection was almost 300 animals. I guess my point really is it's your parents house and you should be grateful that she lets you keep any snakes in it. Try not to stress. You've got many years ahead to keep as many animals as you want. Besides what are you going to do about a quarantine tank for the new acquisition? Do you have money for vet bills if the one you already have gets sick? Do you plan on going to college? And if so what are you going to do with a bunch of snakes if you have to stay in the dorms and they don't allow snakes?

I'll never forget my first actual pet snake that I bought.

I was living under her roof and I wanted a snake, and her quick but decisive NO all but told me to drop it. So growing up I knew better then to ask my dad because I was 10x more likely to get a yes from my mother than my father. When I'd get in trouble for bad grades through elementary and middle school my mom would come to me with the report card and say we'll hide it from your dad. He would either forget about it, though I think one year he asked for it and my mom put it off all summer, when she finally showed it to him and he grounded me it was nearly the end of summer. While my dad was at work though my mom would tell me I was ungrounded and just be home before my dad got home from work. Now that may sound like I was spoiled but I was a momma's boy :P and still am. I'm very close with my mom and while I've turned out to be a hell of a kid, my own house and a great job for retirement, both of them couldn't be prouder.

So anyways rewind back to when I was 16? I saw a snake I wanted and I asked my mom a few weeks later and she responded we'll see, which meant no but she didn't feel like having me annoy her. So sometime that week I went to rite-aid and got one of those prepaid credit cards and loaded money on it. I ended up ordering a snake from online anyways and when it came in my mom had no way to say NO, because the snake was already here and I had spent money on it. We just didn't tell me dad until a few weeks later which my mom told him she said it was okay, which she didn't. She has always been terrified of snakes but has gotten a lot better over the recent years. Her favorite snake that I had was my Yellow Anaconda a few years back. She likes my rufous beaked but she's still sketchy of them because of the lack of color. She loves colorful snakes, and it's easier for her to get used to one she finds more attractive than not. She's gotten so used to snakes that when I flew to the United Kingdom she said she would care for my 3 rufous beaked since they live together and with being colubrids they digest faster and I didn't want to come home to find one eaten. Well I looked around to friends and stuff but the only person I could find that would take care of them wanted to charge me like $150, that was feeding & cleaning(I had my own food btw). I just found that to be absurd and I remember my mom telling me she would look over my snakes for me, but I didn't want to put that burden on her, so I was going to cancel my United Kingdom trip. I ended up making sure she was okay with this because of her not liking to feed them mice. Long story short I basically set a time that was good for me being +6 hours and her to feed them, I gave her step by step instructions and we would video on Yahoo so I could monitor everything. She even held some of them which I didn't know, but it wasn't an issue.

So long story short, my mom has finally come around after years. As a child she was deathly afraid of lizards because when she was a child either my grandpa or my uncle threw a cage full of anoles(green lizards) on her. So to this day she still has a fear of them.

Now on a positive note, she came to this past repitcon with me that was in December and enjoyed it. She wants to come to them all now.

EDIT:
So the morale of the story is try to get your mom involved in your snakes, holding and stuff. Taking baby steps and don't pressure her. Just let her see how you deal with them for awhile. It may take some time and some take longer than others, but once it works out, it's a lot easier.

Remember that snakes can live very long lives and being 13 you will be going through many life changes like college and you will still have your snake to care for. Some dorms don't allow animals and many apartments have similar rules. Make sure that you only acquire what you will be able to easily handle during these changes. Many snakes end up on craigslist when they are left with parents when the kid goes of to college and the patents get tired of caring for it.

I say slow down and concentrate on the one you have. If done right you could turn that big tank into a ball python palace. The key to big tanks is providing a feeling of security to the snake by providing several hides and cover like drift wood, plants, and moss.

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Originally Posted by bandicoot4

honestly depending on youre relationship with your mother you could just get another one and keep it hidden. my mom didnt want me getting one but she dealt with it by not coming in my room anymore since july (which is a plus for me anyway) little does she know i now have 3. but i also go back to my house for college in a week

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Worst advice!!

What happens when mom finds it?

I got my first snake while I was living away from home. As such, by the time I had to move back, my parents were hard-pressed to tell me no, as Nessie and I had already bonded, and my ex had already stolen my cat, so they didn't want to take away the only animal I had left to me. While living at home, I quietly rescued a bearded dragon from a rough situation, and while my parents weren't thrilled, it was already done, and I was 21 at this point, so as long as I was the sole caretaker, they couldn't really tell me no. (I lived in an apartment in their basement, so the animals weren't constantly in their faces anyway.)

However, when it came to buying my second snake, they put their foot down, and told me that two reptiles was their limit. So the dragon was rehomed with my best friend, who'd been wanting a pet all her own anyway (and the dragon and I hadn't quite bonded as well as I would have hoped).

Basically, the point of this story is, while it is better in some cases to ask forgiveness than permission, living with other folks, whether they're your parents or roommates or whatever, requires sacrifice on all parts to maintain the respect and space due in a shared living situation. At such a young age, while a reptile is an awesome thing to have, you're still facing a lot of lifestyle changes-- going to college, getting a job, whatever it is you decide to do as you get older. And that stuff doesn't always leave room for a pet, especially one that can live 20 to 30 years in captivity.

Then there's the question of Quarantine, as adding a new animal to such a close living situation as a partition in a tank can cause all sorts of health problems, sometimes exacerbated by the stress of a relocation.

There's lots of things to think about, and while the idea of a new snake is exciting and super-tempting, it's best to make sure you save some cash for emergency vet visits, replacement supplies, and other things that might come up, at least while you're waiting for the conversation with your parents to come around again.

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Originally Posted by PitOnTheProwl

Worst advice!!

What happens when mom finds it?

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i said it depends on the relationship they have. im a college student living in my house during the summer and a few weeks for winter vacation, because of this and everything that has been going on in my household, my mom is at the point of not caring. She knows i take care of them and dont ask her to do anything for them so she wouldnt be extremly mad, just annoyed i didnt say anything. Either way if i told her or not the result would be the same thing since july, not coming in my room anymore

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Originally Posted by bandicoot4

i said it depends on the relationship they have. im a college student living in my house during the summer and a few weeks for winter vacation, because of this and everything that has been going on in my household, my mom is at the point of not caring. She knows i take care of them and dont ask her to do anything for them so she wouldnt be extremly mad, just annoyed i didnt say anything. Either way if i told her or not the result would be the same thing since july, not coming in my room anymore

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You don't need to justify your lack of respect to your parents to me.
Just don't give out advice that entails lying. Especially to someone who still lives at home, what you do in your house is your problem.

Chiming in as a mom here...

At the age of 13, the last thing you want to be doing is sneaking around and doing things that will cause your mom not to trust you. If I caught my 13 year old son with a snake (or any animal) that I hadn't given him permission to have, I would make him re-home it and my trust would be shattered. You have your whole adult life to have as many animals as you wish. Your mom is kind to let you have one snake (many moms would say no way). Work with her and talk with her if you want another. Strive to be the trustworthy son that I'm sure she wants to raise. Your long term relationship with your mother is much more important than having another snake at this point.

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Originally Posted by gaplastina

Chiming in as a mom here...

At the age of 13, the last thing you want to be doing is sneaking around and doing things that will cause your mom not to trust you. If I caught my 13 year old son with a snake (or any animal) that I hadn't given him permission to have, I would make him re-home it and my trust would be shattered. You have your whole adult life to have as many animals as you wish. Your mom is kind to let you have one snake (many moms would say no way). Work with her and talk with her if you want another. Strive to be the trustworthy son that I'm sure she wants to raise. Your long term relationship with your mother is much more important than having another snake at this point.

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Exactly! Some other things to consider before expanding your collection (that are probably questions your mother has, also): Is there any chance you are going to college? Most dorms do not allow pets, and planning to sneak one (or many) in is just adding to the lies and risks you are forcing your animals to face. Do you expect your mom to take care of them while you are away? If not, who and how? These are long-lived animals that required a level of stability and long-term planning. The questions of vet care and other expenses have already been brought up.

Being on these forums makes it very easy to get caught up in wanting multiple morphs, different species, and even get into breeding. The most important thing to keep in mind, regardless of anyone's age, is that you have to be prepared to take care of every animal you own and produce, period. Anything less is pure selfishness.

I had a similar problem parents didn't want me to have snakes in the house. I keep them in the garden shed.

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Originally Posted by samthemanz3n

I had a similar problem parents didn't want me to have snakes in the house. I keep them in the garden shed.

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This won't work in many places outside of lower Florida. ;) Too cold!

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Originally Posted by Wizard

Long story short, It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission.:gj:

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My quote is somewhat glib but you have to remember that you are dealing with live animals. I knew my mom and dad were animal lovers and I had proved myself a responsible pet owner but I was taking a chance. They could have just as easy told me to get rid of it, but it was a chance I would never take again.

Remember, finding a home for pet is never easy and unfortunately snakes rarely get to find the homes they need.

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Originally Posted by PitOnTheProwl

You don't need to justify your lack of respect to your parents to me.
Just don't give out advice that entails lying. Especially to someone who still lives at home, what you do in your house is your problem.

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I don't mean to argue or spit out advice that not many agree with, and although my mother might not agree with the new love for my hobby they are still my animals that she does not take care of. I do understand where you are coming from and it may be me in college not thinking clearly what my parents think of my reptiles but they are still mine and I care for them either way. Again I apologize for anything that may have been taken the wrong way, but if I can take care of an animal and afford it why not do what makes me happy. Just going off my gut and personal experience. No disrespect intended

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Originally Posted by bandicoot4

I don't mean to argue or spit out advice that not many agree with, and although my mother might not agree with the new love for my hobby they are still my animals that she does not take care of. I do understand where you are coming from and it may be me in college not thinking clearly what my parents think of my reptiles but they are still mine and I care for them either way. Again I apologize for anything that may have been taken the wrong way, but if I can take care of an animal and afford it why not do what makes me happy. Just going off my gut and personal experience. No disrespect intended

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I understand where you're coming from, but the OP is only 13, not in college.

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