You might be a Ball Python if...

You've ever decorated the inside of your house with your own feces...
You've ever thrown up in your bed and cuddled up with it rather than moving to the other side...
You've ever refused to eat your favorite food for a year just because you're stubborn...!
You waggle your tail to let someone know you're interested...

You drink out of a bowl with paw prints all over it when you have no limbs

You didn't eat for half a year and gained thirty pounds.

When touched you curl up and hide your head under your own body thinking No one can see you

When your favotite place after a big meal is a nice warm bed.

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Originally Posted by PorcelainxDoll

When your favotite place after a big meal is a nice warm bed.

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i do that and im a human, aka cant wait for thanksgiving!!!

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Originally Posted by 1nstinct

i do that and im a human, aka cant wait for thanksgiving!!!

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I guess I should change bed to dark cave lol

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Being normal reduces your value.

Being albino is a good thing; you're bred for it ;)

...you feel more comfortable living in a box than in a huge house with tons of room...

You act all hungry, refuse all food, but then bite the first human hand you see.

You decide that charging straight off the sofa/kitchen table is the best and most efficient way down to the floor.

...if you can lecture Colubrids about the meaning of old school.

You've ever been left in your room with your dinner.

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You've ever passed gas in the middle of the night so loudly it wakes everyone in the room up.

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Originally Posted by swansonbb

You've ever passed gas in the middle of the night so loudly it wakes everyone in the room up.

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Guilty.

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Originally Posted by swansonbb

You've ever passed gas in the middle of the night so loudly it wakes everyone in the room up.

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OK this I do and I am human :)

you crap in the water you drink, or you paint poopy pictures in your room

Constantly cold, yet refuses to cuddle.
Flicks tongue, but not trying to a 'kiss' affectionately.
Gets in the most uncomfortable, unrealistic, unimaginable positions to eat a rat, when you could just lay flat and easily eat it.

You drop off a layer of old skin every so often lol


0.3 Normals (Coilette, Athena and Mary Jane)
1.1 Het Genetic Stripe (Bonnie and Clyde)
1.0 Pastel (De Sol)
1.0 Spider (Zeus)
1.0 Mojave (Prometheus)

0.1 Brazilian Rainbow Boa (Stella)

If being a glutton is encouraged...

If your escape skills surpass Houdini's....

If huffing and puffing is your number 1 line of defense...

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Originally Posted by BillinIndiana

When touched you curl up and hide your head under your own body thinking No one can see you

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Oddly enough, this has always worked very well for me.

;)

If you just can't stand to see a water bowl upright, it must be spilled and your tub must become a swamp until the humans change it 4 days a week

You are expected to hook up with random chicks you just met who dwarf you in size.
You probed in the rear by giant humanoid creatures after being abducted from your home.
Your children are stolen from you and then sold as 'companions' to others.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by FoxReptiles

You've ever decorated the inside of your house with your own feces...
You've ever thrown up in your bed and cuddled up with it rather than moving to the other side...
You've ever refused to eat your favorite food for a year just because you're stubborn...!
You waggle your tail to let someone know you're interested...

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Does 3 out of 4 count?:D

You're given two "playmates" to eat, eat the first and sleep with the second one before eating it in the morning.

Only one person in the house wants anything to do with you, and you want nothing at all to do with any of them.

You occasionally like to eat your dinner butt first...

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Originally Posted by snakehobbyist

...you feel more comfortable living in a box than in a huge house with tons of room...

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Coming this fall to tru tv, "Homeless Ball Python of Miami, the Street-Box Saga"

If having 12 kids at a time is not a big deal, and makes a lot of people very happy. But you don't get a book deal, movie contract, tons of free baby items, or college scholarships for doing it.

No one thinks your a slut for having several different "guy friends" on a regular basis. In fact, they encourage it by bringing you new ones all the time.

That being a very big lady is not only attractive, people envy you for being so fine.

That being a girl with a healthy appetite is nothing to be ashamed of, in fact it makes a lot of people jump for joy.

Gale

If you breed to your sister and instead of a deformed child a "super" form comes out
If your eyes turn blue once a month
If you stop eating for three months and lose no weight
If you lay in the same spot for hours on end
If you decide not to chew your food but rather swallow it whole

Every time someone touches you, you poop.

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Originally Posted by swansonbb

Every time someone touches you, you poop.

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Lol wut?

I've got a female that poops almost every time I pick her up. I have to watch her cloaca when I handle her, so I can tell when she's getting ready to drop one.

She's you Little Deuce Coupe.

If you used to know how to eat, and then one day you suddenly don't know how to eat.

If I lecture my girlfriend on what she did wrong to deserve a bite instead of punching you in the face

Your idea of a perfect life is only emerging from your hide to eat or mate.

If when given a new hide you decide it's more effectively used to get closer to the basking light.

If you insist that a hide you no longer fit in is more effective than one that's only slightly snug.

You like to make aspen tea with fresh water in your bowl.
When you leave treasures in mounds of aspen on one side of the tank.
When the camera comes out you never stop moving

My care taker really thinks I can hear her or read her lips:rolleye2:

You're so awesome that every little thing you do, you can boast "Look Mom, no hands!".

When you're the guy and YOU are supposed to be the skinnier one
When being a 'Big Girl' means you're over 1200 grams
When you live in an 'apartment' of racks and you never see, hear, or wonder about your neighbors

if you regularly mate with women bigger than yourself.
if you squeeze your food then cram it in your face without chewing.
if you never wipe after pooping.
only change your clothes once a month.
if swimming makes you poop.