What is your temper like?

So, about two weeks ago at school, I knew I shouldn't have but the kid was pushing my buttons but anyway my group of friends and I were pushed out of our spot in the bleachers & so this other group of kids started complaining about us being in their spot, so I told them to simply just calm down, and we'd ask the other group to move from our spot, so I did & the kids just looked at me like "okay, so what", so the first group started complaining again, and about this time it was time to go to breakfast & one kid from the complaining group says to me "oh you're actually moving, yay!" & I didn't even have time to think I turned, said "shut your mouth boy!" & slapped him in the face. It could've been resolved or even pushed out of my mind but the thing that made me upset is that we tried to move, then he got smart. So, what's your temper like?

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IMO you must be over 18 to call someone 'boy' :P


My temper can be bad sometimes but usually I am controlled. I get past it by remembering that most people suck and aren't worth my energy. I like to just cold shoulder situations like that and get a kick about how frustrating it must be to not be reacted to.

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Originally Posted by MrLang

IMO you must be over 18 to call someone 'boy' :P


I like to just cold shoulder situations like that and get a kick about how frustrating it must be to not be reacted to.

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Yup. Even though, sometimes, you'd love to smack someone in the mouth for being a moron, it's always better to ignore them. If you don't, as an adult, you might end up handcuffed and in the back of a police cruiser:rage:.

Wow, people actually care about "their spot" in the bleachers at school events? How is that even something to get angry about? *All* of you should have just let it roll off of you and moved on. Regardless of what your personal temper is, you should really try to rein in the impulse to strike another person unless it is absolutely necessary (definitely not necessary in the scenario in your story). There's little that it can do to help, and a lot of ways it can end up hurting you.

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Originally Posted by MrLang

IMO you must be over 18 to call someone 'boy' :P

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Well, I didn't say "boy" but since this is a family site, we'll say "female dog".


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Some people tell me I have a "short temper", I prefer to call it: "A swift and assertive reaction to bull*crap*"

Pretty calm and happy go lucky around friends, family or people I know, but when in super busy places such as amusement parks, busy stores and or places with tons of people I loose my temper at a pin drop. I more then likely would have told the kid to blow it out his you know what and find a new place to sit. You should never hit anyone in today's world, to much of a risk of getting a lawsuit thrown into the mix!

I have a short temper but over the years I've learned to control it very well. It take alot to make me lose my temper but when I do make no mistake there are no half messures.

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Originally Posted by therunaway

So, about two weeks ago at school, I knew I shouldn't have but the kid was pushing my buttons but anyway my group of friends and I were pushed out of our spot in the bleachers & so this other group of kids started complaining about us being in their spot, so I told them to simply just calm down, and we'd ask the other group to move from our spot, so I did & the kids just looked at me like "okay, so what", so the first group started complaining again, and about this time it was time to go to breakfast & one kid from the complaining group says to me "oh you're actually moving, yay!" & I didn't even have time to think I turned, said "shut your mouth boy!" & slapped him in the face. It could've been resolved or even pushed out of my mind but the thing that made me upset is that we tried to move, then he got smart. So, what's your temper like?

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What was your experience with people having a temper around you when you were younger in the household?

I have bad road rage. That's probably the only temper I have, being Buddhist I try my very best to be and do kind to others and 99% of the time I do. However, behind the wheel on the highway I have a hard time taking to people passing me when I'm already doing 70 or if you cut me off you better watch out. This is something I'm desperately trying to work on.

I don't really have a temper... It takes someone striking me or some serious pushing for me to start showing any sign of aggression (or immediate danger/threat to my home). I get irritated and frustrated, like anyone, but as a kid it was pounded into our heads that losing your :cens0r: doesn't help you fix most situations, if anything it gets you into some serious trouble. To be honest it's pretty juvenile to me when people start shouting/yelling or getting physical over petty crap. Just before halloween we went to a party where a friend of ours got sloshed, and another guy was there that was known for being a violent ***hole when he drank, and they nearly got into a couple fights/cops called on them because they drunkenly just kept going "I KNOW dude, you KNOW I can take a hit" "I KNOW man, you KNOW I KNOW" and that weird face to face pushing crap, shoving each other around, escalating to yelling, etc. When we finally had them separated they'd yell and throw tantrums breaking things saying they just wanted to talk to the other one, when it was obvious that was not the case. Ugh, I was so infuriated by how insignificant it was, they were doing this where kids were around and it was someone's birthday. So pointless, my boyfriend and I were spending the night soothing neighbors, trying to separate them, and get our friend home (he's since apologized profusely, but he's not allowed to drink at our home since that night, last straw sort of situation. Irks me just thinking about it again). Before they started that crap it'd been an awesome get together, everyone was just hanging out

As far as the bleachers thing, sounds like silly kid stuff. So people don't get to sit their butt in the usual spot, generally there's plenty of other places to do so. Can be frustrating when your usual routine is messed up, I had a favorite desk I'd use in the art department in high school and I'd get frustrated if someone happened to be there. However, it's temporary, chances are you can go to your usual spot tomorrow, or even at the next "break time" you have

I highly doubt that you were as "cool and calm" about all of this as you say, given the way that it ended. I have a feeling that more harsh words were exchange before you hit the kid. When I was younger I would definitely use my fists to solve verbal disputes but I have since learned the importance of letting go of pride if someone is running their mouth. At this point in my life I will usually only use my fists to defend myself or someone/something important to me. However, if anyone calls any close female friend of mine the C word I will always get physical. Can't help it, to me that is the only time that I use physical means to settle verbal disputes.

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Originally Posted by kevinb

I have bad road rage. That's probably the only temper I have, being Buddhist I try my very best to be and do kind to others and 99% of the time I do. However, behind the wheel on the highway I have a hard time taking to people passing me when I'm already doing 70 or if you cut me off you better watch out. This is something I'm desperately trying to work on.

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Eh, that is one of the big issues I have with Buddhism. I'm not sure why healthy anger is so bad? Anger is a great emotion, it helps us fight people who would do us harm and keeps us from associating with those people. Rage on the other hand or irrational anger is completely unhealthy because it doesn't stem from logic but from what ever scars you have in your psychology.

Example of healthy anger: Getting angry at someone who steals your car, or getting angry at someone who almost kills you by not paying attention while their driving.

Example of unhealthy anger (rage): Getting mad at someone who is driving too slow.

I don't really have a temper. I find that *most* anger stems from internal deficiencies, so instead of lashing out, I reason with myself and think it through logically.
If I am angry at someone with reason however, it usually comes out as deadpan sarcasm.

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Originally Posted by gsarchie

I highly doubt that you were as "cool and calm" about all of this as you say, given the way that it ended. I have a feeling that more harsh words were exchange before you hit the kid.

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That's the thing, I was calm & collected on the outside, on the inside I could feel the blood running in my ears, my anxiety was raging & I felt nauseous. When the kid had a smart attitude then I lost it. /).(\


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Originally Posted by OctagonGecko729

What was your experience with people having a temper around you when you were younger in the household?

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Sorry for the double post but as far as I can remember, everything was fine but my dad had a bad temper as a teen-mid 20's, it comes from his dad beating him with 4x4s & various tools if things weren't done right the first time. You can believe that if you want but my dad's always told me that & I've even asked my grandfather & he said he did. Honesty counts for something, right?

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It takes a lot to make me angry. Only my sister and one of my brothers have ever managed to make me completely lose my temper.

I have one, i just have alot of self control. If you ask any of my friends most will tell you they cant even recall an incident where i ever seem slighty upset or angry. Im not one of those people that "wear their emotions" or however that phrase goes. I could wanna kill someone, which happens alot bc of how annoying people are lol, but you'd never know it bc i wont act or seem angry. Overall im a pretty calm person.

ValentinePirate: i agree with what you said as far as it getting physical. Ive never been involved in what i would consider to be a fight but whenever it gets physical i do get a temper lol. My first priority is usual diffusing the situation and ending it as fast as possible so people (myself included) wont get hurt.

Kevin- Coming from someone with experience, its not worth it to drive like that. At all lol.

I always aim to be tactful so there are very few situations where something will outright offend me. I'd rather a problem never escalate to begin with. If I care about something less than someone else, and they're decent about expressing their needs, I'm happy to oblige.

If someone picks on my little sister though, I go into righteous mama-bear mode. I'm a 5'4" girl and she's dating 20-something's that are as afraid of me as the pre-teens she used to bring home. They'd best come correct.

I get pissed off real easy but. But what i really like to do is start laughing in the middle of the argument. That gets people really mad. Thats how my last three fights started. Lol.

I have a long fuse most the time, needed in my line of work cuz patients can say so mean stuff and can get physical. Both as a CNA and an emt when I'm in those clothes my temper can't come into play. But in every day situations I can lose it with a dude if I see him hit a women or if someone comes at me. Once I've been pushed over board my temper can become bad tho and I boxed and did cage fighting for almost five years so when I lose my temper I'm not the type to yell and scream I get quite and from what I've been told my eyes scream murder lol once I've reached that point it's become past the point of talking for me and its become a fight. Luckily these past few years I've been good about not getting into situation that a fight occurs tho. That's for guys tho when it come to a women I will never raise my hand towards them and I don't like even yelling at a girl I always view them as the ones needin the protection haha kinda old school way to think I guess but I hate seeing girls cry so I do everythin I can to avoid making them cry.

When I lose my temper I really lose it. I mean crazy lose it. But I've lost my temper twice during my short 19 years spend on this planet.
I almost smacked my boss in the mouth today because she was being extremely stupid and rude to me in front of some people checking in at the writing center, but I know better. It's hard to make me angry but when I do, head for the hills! But I'm also pretty quick to forgive unless you've done something seriously wrong. Then good luck have fun, see you on the other side.

If what you have said is true then I would seriously recommend speaking with a counselor about your anger issues. The physiological responses that you described are not good to have and you could easily learn to control them.

Only two people in the world have ever made me lose my temper to an extreme. Someone who I let live with me years ago rent free who then stole a bunch of money from me, and now unfortunately someone who currently lives with me.

Otherwise I'm an extremely peaceful person who is usually the one who diffuses situations if I'm ever near an argument. I can have an attitude if needed, and a dry sense of humor, but I hate violence, arguing, yelling, etc.. I like peace and quite.

I don't stay around mean or violent people and people like that are not in my group of friends. I think I'm a bit of an empath because it effects me very negatively to be around anyone like that so I steer clear.

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Originally Posted by gsarchie

If what you have said is true then I would seriously recommend speaking with a counselor about your anger issues. The physiological responses that you described are not good to have and you could easily learn to control them.

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I have a neighbor who I talk to A LOT about my anger problems, & I've talked to a school counselor who isn't any help, my 16 year old neighbor is a better "therapist" than she is! Then again I think my personality needs an adjustment, I used to simply hate everyone & had no problems, middle school started and people actually tried talking to me, after that, drama started. Now, in 8th grade, I know next year is going to be my own personal hell. You can imagine how excited I am for high school! :)

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Originally Posted by therunaway

I have a neighbor who I talk to A LOT about my anger problems, & I've talked to a school counselor who isn't any help, my 16 year old neighbor is a better "therapist" than she is! Then again I think my personality needs an adjustment, I used to simply hate everyone & had no problems, middle school started and people actually tried talking to me, after that, drama started. Now, in 8th grade, I know next year is going to be my own personal hell. You can imagine how excited I am for high school! :)

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Why is highschool going to be hell for you? How big is your highschool?

Nothing is bad unless you think it's bad or it's going to suck. Having a positive outlook will change your life no matter the situation (unless your life is in danger...). I'm going to tell you now, in a verbal dispute physical attacks are never ever justified. The only time you should be punching someone/physically attacking them is in self defense or in defense of another human being.

Anyways good luck in high school! Your experiences are what YOU make of it. I've been through too much for my age but I don't let the past define me as a miserable human being. Have fun in high school because it's one of the few years you have left to be carefree! Stay gold Ponyboy

I'm able to control my temper very well, however with some people I have a shorter fuse than with others (for example: the boyfriend.. sorry!)

IMO there are only two reasons I would ever get into a physical confrontation:
a) I am backed into a corner and have no other option
b) To defend or protect someone I love

If you can talk it out, talk it out.
If you can walk away, walk away.
If you can run, you run.
If you have no other options and your back is against the wall, hit them as hard and as fast as you can.

It takes me a long time to loose control, I do have some pet peeves, for example if you are utterly rude and degrading towards me for no reason (yes this has happened and I kept myself under control but barely). When I do loose control its a very uncomfortable feeling for me, I can be quite cruel and in my opinion no one is deserving of it so I regret it almost instantly.

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Originally Posted by barbie.dragon

Stay gold Ponyboy

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i remember reading that book in middle school haha

Typical stereotypes, its a little different here, if you've got loads of money, you're a "hiller", if you live in the woods or don't socialize, you're a "creeker" comes from alum creek, wv & an "emo 'female dog' " & it's fairly good sized. Google "George Washington High School, Charleston, WV. Then to maps, street view, if you'd like to see where I go now, Google John Adams Middle School, then repeat from previous. :)

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I dont really follow you but try being awesome. Ive been doing it for like 19years and its worked out pretty well for me so far. It should get you through highschool just fine. :gj:

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

I dont really follow you but try being awesome. Ive been doing it for like 19years and its worked out pretty well for me so far. It should get you through highschool just fine. :gj:

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Lol yes! Just be awesome! ;)

Be excellent to each other!

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Originally Posted by Ridinandreptiles

i remember reading that book in middle school haha

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Such a wonderful book. Almost made me cry. It's a shame we don't read this in high school :P but I guess that's what Shakespeare is for

Personally, I have a really mild temper. I will absolutely speak up and "defend" myself if I'm being disrespected, but I find physical violence of any kind repulsive.

If you cannot articulate what you are feeling verbally, only physically, that is a mental deficiency in my opinion. Sure, punching someone in the face sends a clear message about your opinion of them, but it also sends the message that your limited vocabulary has failed you.

A boy I went to high-school with actually killed a man in an altercation over a vehicle sale. He was a really nice, mild mannered Guy. Not only did he spend a few years in prison, but he will NEVER be free of the guilt. He's officially a murderer...because someone said the wrong thing on the wrong day.

Learn to speak! Words can make people think, violence only makes people react, and isn't conflict only useful if resolution is a potential result?

DISCLAIMER: My use of "you" in this post is general in meaning, not directed specifically at OP!

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Originally Posted by Valentine Pirate

I don't really have a temper... It takes someone striking me or some serious pushing for me to start showing any sign of aggression (or immediate danger/threat to my home). I get irritated and frustrated, like anyone, but as a kid it was pounded into our heads that losing your :cens0r: doesn't help you fix most situations, if anything it gets you into some serious trouble. To be honest it's pretty juvenile to me when people start shouting/yelling or getting physical over petty crap. Just before halloween we went to a party where a friend of ours got sloshed, and another guy was there that was known for being a violent ***hole when he drank, and they nearly got into a couple fights/cops called on them because they drunkenly just kept going "I KNOW dude, you KNOW I can take a hit" "I KNOW man, you KNOW I KNOW" and that weird face to face pushing crap, shoving each other around, escalating to yelling, etc. When we finally had them separated they'd yell and throw tantrums breaking things saying they just wanted to talk to the other one, when it was obvious that was not the case. Ugh, I was so infuriated by how insignificant it was, they were doing this where kids were around and it was someone's birthday. So pointless, my boyfriend and I were spending the night soothing neighbors, trying to separate them, and get our friend home (he's since apologized profusely, but he's not allowed to drink at our home since that night, last straw sort of situation. Irks me just thinking about it again). Before they started that crap it'd been an awesome get together, everyone was just hanging out

As far as the bleachers thing, sounds like silly kid stuff. So people don't get to sit their butt in the usual spot, generally there's plenty of other places to do so. Can be frustrating when your usual routine is messed up, I had a favorite desk I'd use in the art department in high school and I'd get frustrated if someone happened to be there. However, it's temporary, chances are you can go to your usual spot tomorrow, or even at the next "break time" you have

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I do NOT miss this part of being young! Ha ha! I don't think I attended a party before the age of 30 where this scenario did not occur! I can actually picture my friends' faces on your friends' bodies, acting out this nonsense!

Thanks for the stroll down memory lane :)

My temper...Explosive, with a short fuse, but, it's hard to light...

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I frequently get called a fire cracker with a short fuse. I really have no patience at all. I am very hot tempered. I dont like that I am this way, but I cant help it.

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I have a pretty awful temper at times. It's calmed down as I get older, and I've got it mostly under control. I suppose it helped calm me down a bit when I got fired for knocking the crap out of a co-worker. >.> In my defense, he was getting in my face and I did feel threatened, but! I could have walked away. It just wasn't in my nature at time. <.<;;
At any rate, I still don't respect being walked on, and I won't put up with it, nor do I think I should put up with it. I might not go straight for the fist like I used to, but I'll be more then happy to tell you how it is.

My mate, on the otherhand, is completely different. She's not timid or anything, but she believes more in rolling with the punches and not causing a fuss, as long as it gets her what she wants. And she keeps me a bit on my leash when I start to get irritated.

I'm pretty nice otherwise. lol. I'm patient when I need to be now, like at work and dealing with customers. I guess it also helped that I worked in a truck stop casino for about two years and dealt with a bunch of trash and troubles. Great way to learn to just to deal with it when you need to.

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

I dont really follow you but try being awesome. Ive been doing it for like 19years and its worked out pretty well for me so far. It should get you through highschool just fine. :gj:

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Haha yes to this! Great advise from Mike. In my mind I'm the most awesome person I know lol it works good for self esteem. And at times I picture there is a small me floating about head height sitting in a throne and dressed like a king and I say what would king nick do in a situation like this. But I'm kinda weird and have an over active imagation :)

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Originally Posted by carlson

Haha yes to this! Great advise from Mike. In my mind I'm the most awesome person I know lol it works good for self esteem. And at times I picture there is a small me floating about head height sitting in a throne and dressed like a king and I say what would king nick do in a situation like this. But I'm kinda weird and have an over active imagation :)

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Nah thats not weird at all. Quite normal actually. Maybe our countries border eachother? In Mikeytopia i picture myself as the most awesomest awesomelete winning the super awesome bowl. Also we dont have stupid stuff like daylight savings or high gas prices. The world kinda just stays in sync from some "invisible hand" guiding it if you will. Its really just my awesomeness guiding everything though. Its like the mana of Mikeytopia. Like in Avatar they have that huge life tree. Im basically that huge tree they all plug their hair into.

Thats all just my imagination running wild. In real life though i just wake up and start my day by pissing excellence and see where the rest of the day goes from there.

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

Nah thats not weird at all. Quite normal actually. Maybe our countries border eachother? In Mikeytopia i picture myself as the most awesomest awesomelete winning the super awesome bowl. Also we dont have stupid stuff like daylight savings or high gas prices. The world kinda just stays in sync from some "invisible hand" guiding it if you will. Its really just my awesomeness guiding everything though. Its like the mana of Mikeytopia. Like in Avatar they have that huge life tree. Im basically that huge tree they all plug their hair into.

Thats all just my imagination running wild. In real life though i just wake up and start my day by pissing excellence and see where the rest of the day goes from there.

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Haha yes perfect it's always great when you have an imagination, some of the girls I know say I'm almost 24 but I have more imagination then a 6 year old. Me and my nephew were playing with his toys and I'm sure I was more into it then him since he's only 8 months old. But what's life with out a lil imagination.

@ the OP:

It may sound condescending but it's true - You're at the age where you have pretty little control and your emotions will run wild on occasion.

The trick is to positively work on the long, SLOW, TEDIOUS maturation process that everyone goes through. Growing up takes time and effort.

It's not a bad idea to have some values you try to live your life by, to help guide your decision making. Experience will shape how your emotions kick up when presented with a stimulus.

It may sound corny, but seriously, try to have a couple of personal values to aspire to. Help yourself develop into someone worthwhile, and not a jerk. Some good examples:
- Compassion
- Honesty

I will say that the key to anger management, particularly in adults, is not "having control". It's just plain and simple not getting angry in the first place. A mature and stable emotional state doesn't overreact, but instead reacts at a level that is equal to the situation a person is presented with. True anger is reserved for the situations that one (should) rarely experience - the death of a loved one and extreme breaches of society's rules tend to be good examples. There is little that can prepare someone for a proper emotional response to certain events in life, but plenty that can prepare someone for proper emotional responses to the small stuff.

Having emotional control lets you not make poor decisions when faced with extreme (and usually new) experiences. There may be some crazy thing that sparks RATIONAL emotion of some sort, but good emotional control doesn't let your actions get out of hand. Mature and emotional stability on the other hand is essentially not having an irrational emotional feeling to a stimulus.

The best thing you can do is recognize how silly it was to have such an extreme reaction to something that is meaningless in the first place. Learn from that situation, apply it to the future. I sure as heck bet you don't get angry at the color yellow, that's an equally silly thing to get angry at.

It's always worthwhile to, before saying or doing anything, ask yourself:

"Does this make me a jerk?"

If so, don't do it. You'd be surprised how many bad choices we all could avoid with this simple little tool.

I am an introverted geek. I was picked on verbally all throughout school. He-Man, GI Joe, Transformers, and Thundercats taught me that vengeance and such was bad so I strived to be patient and forgiving.

But I have my limits. I have also developed "buttons" that can get me from calm to "red hot" in under a minute. Most of my friends know that when I get verbal about something that I am seriously pissed off and will try to disarm the situation. I have been fortunate to never have been in a physical fight. Heaven help the person that would tick me off to the point of being physical.

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Originally Posted by MasonC2K

I was picked on verbally all throughout school. He-Man, GI Joe, Transformers, and Thundercats taught me that vengeance and such was bad so I strived to be patient and forgiving.

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Please don't be offended by this, but HAHAHAHAHA

Nice.

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Originally Posted by MrLang

Please don't be offended by this, but HAHAHAHAHA

Nice.

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Yeah. I figured that might get a laugh or two. But it's true. Thank God I wasn't raised by Spongebob Squarepants.

I have a pretty even temper....if someone's messing with me, I'm usually pretty good at comebacks. It takes a lot for me to totally freak out and slap someone in the face..well, maybe not so much..but oh well. I don't really have any friends in the first place, exept for the ball python, dogs and rats! I would like to keep it that way.:cool:

I grew up with a horrible temper. I am easily frustrated to this day, but I have much more control over it. Every once in a while I'll throw something across the room, but it doesn't happen often :P

I had a hard time in middle school. I was picked on a lot and sometimes couldn't control my frustration with other people and on a few occasions I expressed my emotions physically and was promptly sent to the principals office. :)

It really isn't a big deal.. everyone is saying it is a big problem and you should see a counselor but I disagree. At that age, who doesn't have "anger problems"? You should grow out of it. I find a good way to get all my frustration and anger out is to keep a journal and write it all down. I still do this now from time to time if something is really bothering me and I have no one to talk to about it. :)

From my experience, middle schoolers are particularly mean to each other. Try not to be that guy :P. The people who bullied me in middle school didn't go very far in life... Your patience and calmness will pay off in the long run.

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Originally Posted by MasonC2K

Thank God I wasn't raised by Spongebob Squarepants.

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Your killin' me Smalls.