play with my balls

talking to a friend about here that is not into snakes and i told him i am going to go play with my balls... he says there is no way i can say that to anyone and it sound right... but yall understand though

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Originally Posted by crepers86

talking to a friend about here that is not into snakes and i told him i am going to go play with my balls... he says there is no way i can say that to anyone and it sound right... but yall understand though

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What makes this more awesome is when you're female, like myself, and you tell a crowd that you have to go play with your balls. Makes them question you every. single. time. :rofl:

(Phone rings)

Me: Hey momma!
Momma: Hey what are you up to?
Me: Oh just cleaning my balls.
Momma: . . . Huh?

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Originally Posted by Andybill

(Phone rings)

Me: Hey momma!
Momma: Hey what are you up to?
Me: Oh just cleaning my balls.
Momma: . . . Huh?

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:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

or substitute "cleaning" with "playing"....

Friend- "Yo dude you wanna go to wing nite?"
Me- "yea i just gotta finish feeding my balls."
Friend- "TMI dude, TMI..."

I have to admit I enjoy a good ball joke :) It's not as funny coming from me since I'm female, but when we went on our honeymoon last month lots of people asked me what I do with the snakes when I'm gone. My response: "my mom usually takes care of my balls" I got a lot of weird looks :rofl:

thanks guys

But, But, But.....
I only have
One Ball!

My personal favourite is "I can fit 10 enormous balls in my rack!"

How about, "is it normal that I have one ball bigger than the other two?"...


"Even if they are the same age?"

It's funny when people don't know about my hobby, and ask me questions about what I do in my free time.
I don't normally have any free time, I tend to my balls every spare minute I get.
????
Yea I have a spare room dedicated to my balls.... I spend most of my time in there playing with my balls, cleaning them, they always make a mess.

Hahahaha.. Nice ball joke...
I got a new ball. And want to show it to my friend..
Call him via cp.
My friend: bro!!!
Me: bro i got something to show you.
My friend: what is it bro.?
Me: i want to show you my balls... You can touch and play with it if you want to bro..
My friend: what!!!!! ...???!!!??

Hahahahahaha..... :)


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I have to examine my balls. I think they are shedding. IS THAT BLUE BALLS?

Good thing I've never had to ask for help with mites on my balls...

When you are female it just makes it that much funnier. Lets be honest about that one!

This is the only place i get thanked for telling a woman she has nice balls and a nice rack... Otherwise i get slapped haha :(

Haha that's funny, We can only fit about 18 balls in our rack.:P

I like it when my male friends who own snakes ask me over too take a look...

My friend: Hey M, can you come over tonight?
Me: ya sure, whats up?
My friend: I need you to look at my balls, I think one of them got bit the other day
Me: of course, hope its ok!

(Out side party:... isnt she engaged?)

or of course:
Me: Hey I got a new rack! wanna see?
Friend: But they look so real!
Me: Jerk.... ;)

I think I have heard all of the jokes. However, they are usually pretty funny. The first time I told my mother that my balls just shed she asked if that was normal. She was serious!

You guys are too much, but I love it all the same. I do love it when cute Canadian girls talk about holding ball in their racks. LOL Hey, just to put it out there, I'm only second generation American citizen - family is from Newfoundland. So there's something else that we have in common, Olivia! :D ;)

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Originally Posted by gsarchie

You guys are too much, but I love it all the same. I do love it when cute Canadian girls talk about holding ball in their racks. LOL Hey, just to put it out there, I'm only second generation American citizen - family is from Newfoundland. So there's something else that we have in common, Olivia! :D ;)

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Would you like to get married now or should we wait until Canada thaws out in the spring? :love:;)

"One of my balls is much darker than the other. Should I be worried?" :rofl:

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Originally Posted by liv

Would you like to get married now or should we wait until Canada thaws out in the spring? :love:;)

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I'm in Afghanistan for another two months but once I'm home why wait? I say we get married on the ice right next to our fishing hut with our skates on and our sleds parked nearby! :D LOL

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

This is the only place i get thanked for telling a woman she has nice balls and a nice rack... Otherwise i get slapped haha :(

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:bow: That gave me a good laugh Mike!

*******

A recent conversation I had...

Friend: So what are you doing today?
Me: Not much, just headed to get a macro lens so I can get some great pictures of my balls!
Friend: Hunh?
Me: Sorry I should be more specific. I posted some pictures of my balls on facebook, but the feed back was that they were a bit fuzzy.
Friend: Really? Who are you?
Me: I'll send you the link so you can let me know what you think.
Friend: Click
Me: Hello... Hello...

She called me back a few minutes later after the she realized the context of our conversation ;)

- - - Updated - - -

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Originally Posted by gsarchie

I'm in Afghanistan for another two months but once I'm home why wait? I say we get married on the ice right next to our fishing hut with our skates on and our sleds parked nearby! :D LOL

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I'm not sure if it is that I'm sleep deprived but I find myself lol'ing a lot in this thread ;)... I think you missed an "eh" or two in that reply Bruce!

Hope the next two months go by quickly for you, my cuz comes back in November also. Stay safe!

I honestly thought about going back and editing a fey "aye"s in there but didn't. Glad to see that someone else thought of it too, though! Good luck to your cousin. What unit is he with and where in Afghanistan is he at?

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Originally Posted by gsarchie

I honestly thought about going back and editing a fey "aye"s in there but didn't. Glad to see that someone else thought of it too, though! Good luck to your cousin. What unit is he with and where in Afghanistan is he at?

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He's with the canadian Armed Forces, I can't speak to the details of his assignment or specific unit for this tour as he's been rather hush hush. I do know he was originally deployed to conduct operations as part of the NATO Training Mission–Afghanistan (NTM-A), which delivers training and professional development services to the national security forces of Afghanistan, especially the Afghan National Army (ANA) and the Afghan National Police (ANP), but was re-assigned. Pretty sure he is in Camp Blackhorse, Kabul. He was stationed in Kandahar city his last tour.

Sounds like what I am doing. My team is embedded with an Afghan Army Infantry Battalion and we work directly with them on a daily basis. Things have gotten crazy with the body count now at 55 for NATO forces that have been killed by Afghan Forces this year (last year all year was 35 and it's gotten higher every year), but we still work with them. I've been real on edge about it all lately, as has the rest of my team, and we are just ready to get out of here and get home. 2 more months!

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Originally Posted by el8ch

I think you missed an "eh" or two in that reply Bruce!
!

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Does anyone know what he's talking aboot here?^ :D

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Originally Posted by gsarchie

I'm in Afghanistan for another two months but once I'm home why wait? I say we get married on the ice right next to our fishing hut with our skates on and our sleds parked nearby! :D LOL

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I'd like a moose as my maid of honour and a lumberjack as minister!

Cuz everyone from canada puts an eh or aye at the rnd of a sentence :)

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Liv,
I know first hand; my balls fit in your rack just fine.

I'd also like to attend this wedding of yours; you can have the reception in my igloo! I can also make a mean maple syrup soup.

I have space btw... Id be willing to pay quite well if you would put some balls in my rack.

Sorry couldnt help it.

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Hey TJ - I have friends in low places, and talking to my fiance' like that may just get your face to show up on a milk carton... ;)

Moose is fine as is the lumberjack. I'll have my good buddies the Vancouver Canucks make a hockey stick arch for us to walk through after the vows as we drive away on our sled trailing empty cans of Molson.

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Originally Posted by gsarchie

Hey TJ - I have friends in low places, and talking to my fiance' like that may just get your face to show up on a milk carton... ;)
.

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Nah dude like at least one of his balls is in her rack right now... The cinny i think.

On a related canadian note, i heard on the radio this morning that Rush is on the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame ballot. Awwww yeeeeeauh!

It's true, TJ has put balls in my rack. But don't worry Bruce, they were incredibly tiny.

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Originally Posted by liv

It's true, TJ has put balls in my rack. But don't worry Bruce, they were incredibly tiny.

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lol thats messed up dude

It seems like there are more girls into snakes on here. That's cool.

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

lol thats messed up dude

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Messed up? Perhaps. Accurate? Without a doubt.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by liv

It's true, TJ has put balls in my rack. But don't worry Bruce, they were incredibly tiny.

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HAAAAAAAA!!!! :rofl:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by liv

It's true, TJ has put balls in my rack. But don't worry Bruce, they were incredibly tiny.

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Rofl! I love this thread!

I used to accidentally call them balls, but now I just call them snakes XD.. Even when I type, I try to avoid falling victim to the "completely out of context" thread :D.

If i keep going with this thread ill be getting another infraction... :(
Huhhhh

Oh man, I love that the turn that this took overnight. LOL And I think you're right, Mike. Maybe this one should be in the QT room so not mother and her 13 year gets on here to look for felp about a hunger strike and winds up reading this thread! :rofl:

I only have one ball and it's skin peeled off like a sock.