I need someone to help me out by answering this...

how do you gain self confidence when you have been broke down to nothing left? without people lying to you just to make you feel better....

Ignore them. Simple fact is every one is gonna talk but what you think of your self is all that matters. Your the only you, be proud of that and forget anyone who tryst to tell ya different, that's what I do. Hope it helps.

Building confidence should come from within, not from what others tell you. Make a list of all your positive attributes and read that list out loud several times a day. This will force your brain to believe it (after some time) and your confidence levels will climb.

Positive affirmations really do work if they are repeated often

Hope this helps

The best way to build self confidence is to set goals, and achieve them. Start with something small and work from there...

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Agreed about writing your positive attributes down and repeating them daily. Also leave sticky notes around with a positive attribute where you will see it often. Such as bathroom mirror, fridge, desk, computer, cabinets, snake enclosures, etc., anywhere you look throughout the day. Tell yourself that you are you, and that's freaking awesome :)

I found the best way for myself is to have someone close to you to lean on. Someone who listens well and won't say things just to make you feel better. Someone who knows every inch of you and someone who you feel absolute trust with. I pour everything out onto this person. I just say every and all things that are in my head. This person doesn't usually need to say anything. Just putting it all out there is usually good for me and I can climb back on the horse and proceed forward happier and ready for anything. When you find this person, keep them around at all costs! I'm marrying my person in 2 weeks! That's what works for me, and trust me, I've been there. Recently, and in the past.

Keep your chin up. You got this!


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You can start by modifying your signature. If you are beautiful on the inside that will shine through to the outside. You also need to surround yourself with positive people to help with your rebuilding process.

Try being awesome. Ive been doing it for so long that now i just wake up in the morning and piss confidence and excellence.

I dont see how a girl as pretty as you could lack self confidence :confusd:

Wipe the negative from your life. Negative things and negative people. Find something your good at and do it. And lastly don't give a crap what anyone thinks of you or your actions. Go out and make mistakes. That how we get better.

When something so horrible happens that you think there is nothing else left, it is time to do what I call "starting a new chapter in the book of you". You can be anything you want to be. Don't let others hold you back. Do what makes you happy and ignore all those people who say and do things that make you sad. Life is too short to get down on yourself!

Same tack as Mike.

When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.

Focusing on the negative amplifies problems. Make small goals that you can meet easily, and work up to ones that you have to put a little more effort into. Accomplishing things you work for brings confidence that no one can take away from you

Remember last time you were here and the crisis you had then? Remember asking much the same question and getting much the same answer? If you don't, that's part of your problem. LISTEN to the answers you get. If you do remember, then perhaps the problem is more one of wanting attention than needing confidence.

Either way, this sounds like someone hit replay.

thanks everyone but nothings working for me right now I guess its just stuck on empty until the one who broke me can fix me also I never remember asking for advise on gaining self confidence actually I remember never asking but thanks for trying everyone but theres nothing im really good at

The one who broke you will absolutely not be able to fix you. It never works like that.

What you really should do is not let someone break you. I know it's probably to late to say that now, but it is true. Stand up for yourself. You are awesome and don't let anyone tell you that you aren't.

Everyone is good at something. Just because you haven't found that something yet doesn't mean it isn't there. Don't give up on yourself like this. :(

Well you seem to have a lot of snakes, a lot of posts here and a lot of thanked posts, so from that I would infer that you are good at keeping snakes and being knowledgeable on them. So there is one thing already that you are good at.

Sometimes it is hard to see the things we are good at.

Try a list and add to it every day. Write down all the things that you are good at.
Start small and add everything.

eg.

1. I am a good and responsible snake owner
2. I am punctual
3. I have good fashion sense etc

List everything even if it seems small and insignificant. If you do this properly, you will be surprised at how much you are actually good at :)

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Well you seem to have a lot of snakes, a lot of posts here and a lot of thanked posts, so from that I would infer that you are good at keeping snakes and being knowledgeable on them. So there is one thing already that you are good at.

Sometimes it is hard to see the things we are good at.

Try a list and add to it every day. Write down all the things that you are good at.
Start small and add everything.

eg.

1. I am a good and responsible snake owner
2. I am punctual
3. I have good fashion sense etc

List everything even if it seems small and insignificant. If you do this properly, you will be surprised at how much you are actually good at :)

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sorry about that double post, my connection cut off and it seemed to mess it up... oops :P

Get ride of everything that has to do with the one who broke you. He knos he can control you by ur emotions. Move onto better things an stop thinking about the past or ull be in the same place u are now. Goodluck an keep ur head up Lacey

If someone "broke" you, you need to get rid of them as fast as you can. Someone who could do that is a terrible, poor excuse for a human being. If you get rid of all the bad, you may just find that you are happy, and believe in yourself again. Maybe for finding the strength to make your own decisions. Take control of your life, don't live it for someone else, the way they want you too. Make decisions that make YOU happy. Good luck.

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To build confidence, you should start winning. Fix the small things in your life that you have control over. Join a gym and get in shape...it's amazing how feeling good physically can make you feel good emotionally. If you see yourself making physical improvements and are able to do more without getting tired, you're more apt to try bigger and better things because you become physically confident in your abilities, this becomes mirrored pychologically. Seems fairly simple, but it could be a good start for you.
Remember, those who try to take your confidence and keep you down, do it so that they can have power over you...they do this because they feel powerless in their own lives and keeping someone down, gives them a false sense that they are at least better than you...a very pathetic, weak-minded attitude.

Best of luck to you...only you can change how you feel about yourself.

I have been in shape for some time now I slowed down and gained a few pounds but Im back to 132 so actually realizing that its kinda awesome lol but I have been trying to improve on my appearance like tan, work out, change style just simple stuff so I dont know if its going to do anything

Quote:

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Originally Posted by python_addict

I have been trying to improve on my appearance like tan, work out, change style just simple stuff so I dont know if its going to do anything

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It won't, beauty comes from within.

Volunteer, giving is one of the best ways you can gain self confidence.
Help others in worse shape than yourself, a soup line, picking up a mess that a senior citizen can't on their own.
Helping others is helping yourself...it's karma

I am assuming you're talking generally. Generally, I rely on my faith for confidence. I know that as a human, I am flawed and will always be while I live. So relying on someone else or even myself can be setting myself up for failure. I have lots of things I could be depressed about if I focused on them. Instead I try to focus on the good things the I've been blessed with and be grateful for what I do have and what I can do. But I also pray for what I do not have and can not do. It can be difficult to be humble yet not complacent. I am certainly not the best at it. But I do have my God to lean on. Without Him nothing I do can lead to anything permanently meaningful.

I pray the Lord will lead you to where you need to be.

I went through a rough patch once and I made myself a ton of note cards like this:

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y21...9/IMG00247.jpg

I posted them all over my house, the dash of my car and kept some in my purse. It helped to remind me to smile and the others kept me from answering when he called!

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by python_addict

how do you gain self confidence when you have been broke down to nothing left? without people lying to you just to make you feel better....

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Self-confidence is good, if it's justified, but it's not everything. Are you sure that it's self-confidence you need, and not happiness? Perhaps you are simply depressed?

Evaluate your thoughts for things that are irrational. For example, if you think "I never do anything right", that's obviously stupid--you managed to tie your shoes, right? You prepared breakfast, didn't you? There are many things you do right, so thoughts like those are irrational, and they feed depression. They also, incidentally, feed into a lack of self-confidence. If you catch yourself thinking those things, or saying them--immediately correct yourself.

Make a list of all the things you do right. Write them down on paper. It's going to be a long list, take your time.
Then, make a list of things you WANT to do right, that are achievable goals. Do NOT write down things you have done wrong in the past--only things you want to do right in the immediate future. The past is completely irrelevant--it's gone, and it can't be changed, so ignore it.

Write down HOW you can do those things right. Then treat yourself to something you enjoy, and get started. :)

Remember--YOUR self-confidence does NOT rely on the opinions of other people. Only your opinion counts, that's why it's SELF-confidence, and not just confidence.

Couldn't tell ya. I've had suicidal thoughts and have been insecure since the 6th grade. Now going to be a freshman. Fun stuff

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Actually I can help. You are a reptile lover and that individuality is something not too many carry. You need to vilipend what others think. Maybe keep a journal. Between my guitar, snakes, and writing I am able to somewhat clear my mind. Now quit being upset and let's all make some b.a. Snakes!!! YAY!!!

Vitamin B and exercise. This is what we recommend to my sister. Its not a cure all by any means but a daily walk and some vitamins can be effective as a start.

Good diet and exercise can certainly help. I think it's important to realize that the way you feel is not who you are--it's as much a result of what is going on inside your body as it is a result of your personality. If your car breaks down, you take it to the shop--if your body breaks down, take it to the doctor, and fix it. Nutrition and exercise can have a dramatic impact on mood.

Tell your doctor how you feel.

Just learn to use the phrase ":cens0r::cens0r::cens0r::cens0r: happens". It's also a good thing to learn to "not give a :cens0r::cens0r::cens0r::cens0r:". You'll be over it in no time once you don't care anymore.

A few things I keep in mind to get me through rough times.

"The past is History
Tomorrow is a Mystery
Today is a gift...
That's why it's called the Present"

" I had the blues
because I had no shoes
when I chanced to meet
upon the street
a man who had no feet."

" Life isn't about waiting
for the storm to pass.
It's about learning
to dance in the rain. "

" To the world,
you may be just one person.
But, to one person
you may just be the world."

" It is better to be Hated
for who you are,
than to be Loved
for who you are not."

" You've got to Sing like no one is Listening
And Love like you'll never be Hurt.
You've got to Dance like no one is Watching
And Live each moment like it's your last on this Earth. "


Gale

Aw Lacey. I know how you feel. I've been hurt too, not exactly like you have, but the emotional aftermath was the same.

Firs thing I did was make a list of all the things I love about myself and the world. A very silly list. Once I was done, I read it and laughed until I cried. And then I felt better, because I had an entire list of things that make me happy.

Here's a short exert of it, copied straight from my Word file called "ME THINGS!!!!!!" ... a little piece of me to help you get that little piece of you back.


"25. i think i look different in pictures
26. i feel like dancing
27. i shake my leg when im sitting
28. so is one leg going to get way stronger than the other?
29. inheritance cycle book 4 comes out in 36 days
30. WOOHOOO!!!
31.i like that theres mud on my shoes
32. i want to watch planet earth
33. me and bianca could write for snl, i just know it
34. a girl said she liked my hedgehog sweater, weeeehooooiee!!
35. this is so fun to write!!!
36. what would i look like with red hair?? hmmm...
37. dont hate me for being fabulous!
38. lolololol
39. trees make me happy, they just keep growing
40. lions are cool
41. i wish i had a diabetic friend
42. i love kelsey, that fox
43. my hands are colddddddddd
44. hilary duff is pissing me off
45. wheres a snuggie when you need one?
46. i drink too much coffee
47. and have a severe drug habit
48. but dont worry, they're prescription!
49. muahaha i had you going there didnt i? woohoo insulin!
50. turtles are so cool
51. and manta rays are rad"

It's literally 250 entries of pure ridiculousness. And I read it every time I feel badly about myself, because it reminds me of how freakin' awesome I am and how much I love the world.
It worked for me, and I bet it will help you. But only if you completely let loose and be as silly as possible! :rolleye2:

I hope you feel better.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by angllady2

A few things I keep in mind to get me through rough times.

"The past is History
Tomorrow is a Mystery
Today is a gift...
That's why it's called the Present"

" I had the blues
because I had no shoes
when I chanced to meet
upon the street
a man who had no feet."

" Life isn't about waiting
for the storm to pass.
It's about learning
to dance in the rain. "

" To the world,
you may be just one person.
But, to one person
you may just be the world."

" It is better to be Hated
for who you are,
than to be Loved
for who you are not."

" You've got to Sing like no one is Listening
And Love like you'll never be Hurt.
You've got to Dance like no one is Watching
And Live each moment like it's your last on this Earth. "


Gale

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I love all of these. The one- To the world you may just be one person, but to one person you may just be the world, makes me sad. I put that on a picture board I made for the funeral when my father in law died. He was the best dad I ever had. :(

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