Ugh... Moms

My mom won't let me get a snake. Her exact words were,"I will NEVER let a snake in this house!". Sigh. Any suggestions on persuading her to let me get one?

Yup that's how my mom was once I said the word python she said NO but I gave it some time and asked her and telling her all about them until she said maybe and now I have 2 wonderful baby's

My advice would be to pick a species that you like and research everything you can. Then talk to your mom and show her you've done the research and explain why snakes make great pets. Be mature about the situation and don't get mad if she doesn't instantly agree. If she says no, keep researching and bringing it up ever now and again, but don't hound her about.

What type of snake do you want to get?

I've been reading up on various snake types and spouting out random snake facts for a few months. I will pay for the animal, the cage, the food, the heater/thermostat, and anything else it might need(I did this for the geckos, so she can't argue that). I would be its main caretaker, and the only thing my mom would need to do is bring me to the pet store to buy the snake things. The snake I would get would be a ball python, king snake, or corn snake. I would feed it, tame it, clean its cage, etc.
My moms not afraid of them, and her only reason that she gave for not letting me get one is that she doesn't want one crawling around the house (which makes no sense, i already have and care for 2 leopard geckos and they don't get out unless being held). My mom isn't exactly the most reasonable person, but I keep my anger controlled when conversing with her.

my mom said the same thing so i asked my dad when my mom went to vegas to visit my sister. my dad said okay as a present and i kept the snakes in my room for a week after she was already back. i got a corn snake and it was tiny so one day while my mom was cleaning the kitchen i took it out and showed her and she flipped out on me but then said it looked so cute and she touched it.

well i am moved out now so..i do not think she cares anymore ahah

haha pinkeye. did something similar with El Scorcho (first gecko). My sister and I went to the pet store with our dad, and since we had 50 bucks with us, we got our dad to let us buy the gecko. My mom was at work so we had enough time to hide Scorcho. Kept her in a 20 gallon tank in my closet for a month before we told my mom. First she freaked, but once we showed her Scorcho she loved her. No one can resist the gecko face!

All the things my parents didn't want me to do when I lived with them, I made sure to check off the "to do" list when I went to college. ;)

Be patient, but don't give up. My best advice is to be positive, persistent, and positive :D Yes, that had to be in there twice, as any people in positions of authority are much more willing to give into reasonable and happy requests than angry demands.

At least freedom isn't too far away. Most likely I'll graduate next year. I'm at a school which lets me do work at my own pace, so I'll be out of high school at 15. Don't worry about me being positive, cause I'm the most positive person in my family. Youngest kid in college, Yeah!

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Originally Posted by mainbutter

All the things my parents didn't want me to do when I lived with them, I made sure to check off the "to do" list when I went to college. ;)

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i hear that haha

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Originally Posted by Kittycatpenut

At least freedom isn't too far away. Most likely I'll graduate next year. I'm at a school which lets me do work at my own pace, so I'll be out of high school at 15. Don't worry about me being positive, cause I'm the most positive person in my family. Youngest kid in college, Yeah!

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WOW congrats :)

So, does anyone have stories about acquiring their first reptiles or any other pet that their parents (or someone else) didn't want you to get?

my parents have always objected to my owning reptiles. When I was in my 20s and had my first ball python (granted, she was a 6 footer) my mom "ORDERED" me to get rid of her before I had kids, because she felt the snake would be a danger to my children. FFS, the snake was in a 30 gallon aquarium with a velcro reinforced top... she was no threat... I finally sold that snake not because of mom, but because of lack of wherewithal to provide food for her

20 years later, I have a yearling ball python that I really enjoy. I have a son in a unique situation where he will be providing me with several wild caught western hognose snakes within the next week. If he is not able to transport them from the area, they will be killed. I live in a similar enough area geographically that if I decide my desire to keep hognoses is a 'bad idea', I can go out back and turn them loose and they'll be ok

at 46+ years old, I really don't care about my parents warnings that are because of their misinformed terror of snakes. However, my hubby (48 years old) isn't going to be happy with me when the hognoses show up... I haven't gathered the cohonas to tell him about that yet LOL

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Originally Posted by Kittycatpenut

So, does anyone have stories about acquiring their first reptiles or any other pet that their parents (or someone else) didn't want you to get?

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Yes. I simply didn't mention them. This made for some interesting reactions when my father (who was deathly afraid of my room in general and snake in particular) discovered them one day.

I don't recommend it. The reaction is memorable.

Wow psychoduck, you must be really patient. I'm going to wait until the weekend when my mom has to a funeral for three days. I can get my dad to bring me to the pet store for more crickets, then pursuade him to get me the male ball python that's been there for a few months. I've held the snake and chatted with his caretaker who says he got sexed at a vet and that he eats f/t mice. She also said that he is very friendly which I saw for myself. Alternatively I can order a snake from the Internet.

I will be keeping it in my closet until my mom gets told about it, because the only time she goes in there is for spring cleaning. She only found out about the gecko when we told her. With my gecko I turned the light on in the morning and off at night so as not to disrupt her sleeping pattern, and I'll do the same for the snake.

P.S. hognoses are adorable, so your husband will probably get over the surprise pretty quickly.

Ok lots of advice. First, don't get the snake if both your parents are not 100% on board. A BP is not worth ruining your relationship with your Mom and at this point she would be justified in being angry with you. If you want to change her mind, get a plan. Save money and make a plan. My fiance requires that the snakes be locked in their cages in a room that company can easily avoid. Come to your mom with a complete plan, pictures of a baby and an adult. A secure cage and explain how it is secure. I solid plan to obtain food items and a place to keep them that she can approve of. If at the end of the day she says no. Respect her. Now for my story. My mom would not let me get a BP. I got my first one at 29 years old. I have a house of my own and a much better job. Caring for the snake is trivially easy and my fiance is cool with the snake. One last cautionary tail. I would not get one when you are in college. Your life is far too turbulent and uncertain at that time of your life. I have a friend who had a BP all through college, moved away and had to leave the snake with his mom for 6 months. Came home and had a great opportunity to live with some people who didn't want the snake. Two years later the snake died while in his mother's care. Not saying the same will happen to you. What I am saying is that your pets deserve a stable forever home. That's something you can't guarantee you can provide at this age without your parents being on board. Respect your pets enough to be a realist. I hope your mom comes around though. If not remember that you have a long life ahead of you and plenty of time to get a BP.

My mom said the same thing. Me being me, I went and bought it anyways. Yet again, I go to school and work so I only live at home but 1-2 months a year. Now, she's not my snake's biggest fan (her words, but I don't believe her), but as long as I keep the tank and all out of the way it's all good.

However, in the situation that being knowledgeable and prepared to take on the responsibility is not enough and both parents aren't thoroughly convinced, owning a snake may just have to wait. Sorry if that happens, but the post above said it perfectly.

Best of luck!!!

My mom will never be completely on board, but in her mind she knows I will get ahold of one somehow, and my dad knows I want a pet snake and doesn't mind. He doesn't like reptiles, but I think after having the geckos for a while, he's starting to. When I go to college, I will not be staying in a dorm, but in my house, and I will always be it's caretaker. For food I already have pinkies in the freezer and mealworms(for the geckos) in the refridgerator, basically as long as she can't see them she doesn't care.

oh man I caught my first snake at 15. I had actually stepped on he snake breaking her back and kept her hidden in my room for about 7 months from mom. then I Was bitten one day and when I came out with a bloody ccouple finger momfound out. but by then it was winter and the snake could not make uit outside so I got to keep her until she died last spring of old age ( her back healed up really great and my thanks was the bite lol) well ever since her i have had up to 30 snakes at one time and mom now handles them and such if I am gone to the girlfriends place for a while.

My first snake was a corn snake.

Back in '94-95 (I was 8 or 9 years old) or something, I'd been receiving REPTILES magazine for a while, and my mom suggested we check out a local reptile expo. It was lots of fun getting to see giant albino burmese pythons in person for the first time. I'd been letting my mom know I wanted a pet snake, but I was never the kind of kid to ask twice if I was told 'no'.

I found out that at the expo, she'd gone behind my back and grabbed a business card from a guy who lived nearby and bred corn snakes, and contacted him about the kinds he had.

My mom asked me about the kind of snake I'd like and showed me pictures of different corn snake morphs. I thought the idea of an orange-pink snake was crazy cool, so we went with a basic amelanistic.

Sometimes it helps having a mom who grew up on a lake and spent her summers catching turtles (enjoying them for an hour or so and just letting them go), just for the heck of it.

OP, I've watched this thread and have seen people saying just get it, or give their experiences regarding it, and also watched people give other good advice. My personal advice is to not get it without her permission. If you show maturity at your age in going about it the right way, it will go a long way. Tricking your parents and hiding an animal in your closet is not a sign of responsibility and maturity. If you do extensive research, learn everything you can, take responsibility and maybe even ask your dad to help sway her. If he's okay with it, and you show your passion in a positive manner, with your dads approval she may agree. Last thing you want to do is risk your parents trust at such a young age. And ball pythons don't belong trapped in a dark closet for any amount of time either.

Mainbutter, you have the coolest mom ever. Mine would never do something like that. She hardly ever even let's me get animal books because she thinks they're not fun. She doesn't get that what she considers fun is not what I consider fun. I've done alot of reaserch on ball pythons and other snakes. The thing about my mom is that she is in charge of the family. She wants something, she gets it regardless if we can afford it or if any one else will use it. She doesn't want us to get something there is not much we can do about it. She made my sister wait 5 months to get an album that she was paying for.

Lol we weren't allowed to have pets in college, but one day a friend from down my hall in the dorms walked into our room with her corn snake. Next week: Roommate and I had two little corns of our own. I didn't tell my mom until she told me to "get a real pet" and then I told her I already did and sent her a pic. She loved him. Eventually we ended up having four snakes in the room and our RA didn't care, almost everyone in our hall had pets (can you tell we were the zoology hall?). She said as long as they didn't smell or make noise she didn't know. Now that I am at a different school I live with my parents again, and they are very tolerant of my critters. It took me almost 8 months of convincing for them to let me get my lizard, so I guess my advise to you is be patient, do lots of research and discuss how the cages will be kept and that nothing can get out etc. She knows you're caring for your geckos, and since snakes are even easier you'll be fine. I wouldn't get a kingsnake though, I saw that was one that you were thinking of. I got one of them and all they do is think you're food. Mine never bit me in an aggressive way, but literally tried to eat me. She even constricted my arm once to the point it turned blue before my mom could help get her off of me! Go with a corn or a ball. I've got both and they're wonderful :)

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Originally Posted by psychoduck

my parents have always objected to my owning reptiles. When I was in my 20s and had my first ball python (granted, she was a 6 footer) my mom "ORDERED" me to get rid of her before I had kids, because she felt the snake would be a danger to my children. FFS, the snake was in a 30 gallon aquarium with a velcro reinforced top... she was no threat... I finally sold that snake not because of mom, but because of lack of wherewithal to provide food for her

20 years later, I have a yearling ball python that I really enjoy. I have a son in a unique situation where he will be providing me with several wild caught western hognose snakes within the next week. If he is not able to transport them from the area, they will be killed. I live in a similar enough area geographically that if I decide my desire to keep hognoses is a 'bad idea', I can go out back and turn them loose and they'll be ok

at 46+ years old, I really don't care about my parents warnings that are because of their misinformed terror of snakes. However, my hubby (48 years old) isn't going to be happy with me when the hognoses show up... I haven't gathered the cohonas to tell him about that yet LOL

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I love hogs. I can't wait to have a place of my own so I can get one. I fell in love with them while working at the zoo here, I'm sure you will love them!

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Originally Posted by LGray23

OP, I've watched this thread and have seen people saying just get it, or give their experiences regarding it, and also watched people give other good advice. My personal advice is to not get it without her permission. If you show maturity at your age in going about it the right way, it will go a long way. Tricking your parents and hiding an animal in your closet is not a sign of responsibility and maturity. If you do extensive research, learn everything you can, take responsibility and maybe even ask your dad to help sway her. If he's okay with it, and you show your passion in a positive manner, with your dads approval she may agree. Last thing you want to do is risk your parents trust at such a young age. And ball pythons don't belong trapped in a dark closet for any amount of time either.

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LGray is right, maturity will go a long way.:yes:

I'll try to get my parents to realize how much I want a pet snake. Maybe they will let me get one for Christmas. Also, I heard that for king snakes temperament depends on species. The snake I want most would be a ball python, because I want a snake that can stay still. As for biting, I don't really care, I've been bitten by a adult western yellow bellied racer and baby diamondback water snakes. The worst part about snakes biting is wondering about how much it hurts. I'd say being scratched accidentally by my cat is more painful.

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Originally Posted by Kittycatpenut

The worst part about snakes biting is wondering about how much it hurts. I'd say being scratched accidentally by my cat is more painful.

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I say this so much when people aske me they think i am lying until they get bit lol..

I'd understand being afraid of a Burmese or anaconda, but corn snakes and ball pythons, really. They bite most when they are babies, and when they are only a foot long they can't even bruise. Silly people

My mother was the same way. It wasn't just pythons or boa's, my mom wouldn't let me have ANY snake even garter snakes. I will never forget the day I brought home my catch of the day and put it into an old mayo jar (with holes in the lid of course). My mother wouldn't even let me have it outside let alone inside. I was forced to release it in the stream immediately.

When it comes to parents, you have to do what they tell you to do. I also wanted to dye my hair and my mother wouldn't let me dye my hair. She said, "You will never dye it living under my roof." The day I moved out, I dyed my hair black and it has been black ever since (moved out in 1997). When I started getting snakes my mother would complain about it but there wasn't anything she could do as I had my own house.

Sometimes, your only option is waiting until you are no longer a dependent living at home.

Star

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Originally Posted by Kittycatpenut

My mom will never be completely on board, but in her mind she knows I will get ahold of one somehow, and my dad knows I want a pet snake and doesn't mind. He doesn't like reptiles, but I think after having the geckos for a while, he's starting to. When I go to college, I will not be staying in a dorm, but in my house, and I will always be it's caretaker. For food I already have pinkies in the freezer and mealworms(for the geckos) in the refridgerator, basically as long as she can't see them she doesn't care.

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Very true about the feeders in the freezer. I put duct tape around the box. Out of sight, out of mind. haha

I just put the mice at the very bottom under some frozen something or other. My mom hardly ever looks in it; my dad does all of the cooking.

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Originally Posted by Kittycatpenut

Mainbutter, you have the coolest mom ever. Mine would never do something like that. She hardly ever even let's me get animal books because she thinks they're not fun. She doesn't get that what she considers fun is not what I consider fun. I've done alot of reaserch on ball pythons and other snakes. The thing about my mom is that she is in charge of the family. She wants something, she gets it regardless if we can afford it or if any one else will use it. She doesn't want us to get something there is not much we can do about it. She made my sister wait 5 months to get an album that she was paying for.

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The thing about your mom is that she is the adult and unfortunately she gets to make the rules. I know it feels like forever but if you put your mind to it you will be out on your own in no time. Be honest with your mom and show her that you are mature enough to have the snake. If you get the snake behind her back you only prove that you are not mature enough to have it.

Heh. My mom complained about the frozen mice in the fridge after I commented that I had brought them over from the other house. I told her to get me a mini fridge if she didn't want them in the freezer. Not another word was said.

When I was growing up, there was no way I could ever have brought a reptile, amphibian, or cat inside my house. My mom would have killed me. We had a poodle and a cockatiel. My cat was an outside cat and my mom was deathly afraid if it. She had irrational fears of many animals even though she grew up on a farm.

I caught snakes in the yard and would keep them for weeks at a time in a tank outside but never for long.

I didn't get my first snake until I moved out. Honestly, I would try to get the approval if your mom before getting a snake. Please try to talk to her about it. Find some pages about BPs where the opening paragraph states how BPs are docile snakes that make great first snakes for anyone. Tell her fun facts about how Cleopatra wore baby BPs on her wrists and neck (because babies wrap and hang on like jewelry) and this is where the name Royal python comes from. How babies ball up and hide their heads when frightened and this is where the name ball python came from.. Etc etc..

Don't limit it to just care facts, tell her all about them. Show her pics of cute babies sticking their heads out of eggs.

Just work on it. You'll get her to say maybe. That's all you need ;)

Yeah, I'll try to convince her to get me one. My dad said that if I make strait A's I can get one, and the school year hasn't started yet, so I have enough time to pursuade her. Great idea for the mice, Raptor. Also, my mom isn't afraid of snakes, she just doesn't like them.

Totally understand how you feel:P.

What I did to convince my mom to get me my first Ball python was researching about them to give her facts. She originally thought they were mean because my oldest sister had a large male that wasn't very friendly. After once-a-week trips to Petsmart to show her the Ball I wanted and how friendly she was, she finally bought it after the 3rd week LOL. Every time we walked in there I would handle the Ball to show her how gentle she was.

That's my best advice.. But also would like to say that you should purchase your first snake from someone other than a pet store:P. Online/local breeders work well, or even visiting the next local reptile expo will work too.

I don't think my mom thinks they are mean, she just doesn't know much about them. She hardly ever goes to pet stores because my dad does pet/grocery shopping, but I'll try to get her to go so she can hold a ball python. There is one petsmart where I've handled both of their BP's and they were both friendly, and their caretaker actually knows what she's doing. I wouldn't buy from a pet store, but there aren't any breeders anywhere nearby, and the nearest herp show is a hour away. Also, the ball pythons at the petsmart have been there for at least two months and seem healthy.

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Originally Posted by Kittycatpenut

I don't think my mom thinks they are mean, she just doesn't know much about them. She hardly ever goes to pet stores because my dad does pet/grocery shopping, but I'll try to get her to go so she can hold a ball python. There is one petsmart where I've handled both of their BP's and they were both friendly, and their caretaker actually knows what she's doing. I wouldn't buy from a pet store, but there aren't any breeders anywhere nearby, and the nearest herp show is a hour away. Also, the ball pythons at the petsmart have been there for at least two months and seem healthy.

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Purchasing from a pet store isn't necessarily bad, but many pet stores seem to not fully care for their reptiles. I find it awesome that your pet store seems to be taking good care of the Balls. I'd definitely get the approval from your mom first that it's OK to get a Ball, then try searching around online for some local breeders. You may even live close to a few breeders on this forum.

The lady who cares for the reptiles there has her own. I can't remember what kinds of reptiles she has but I think she has at least five of them including a ball python. As for breeders, I live in the middle of nowhere so there probably aren't any, but I'll look. I don't really want to order a snake online because of the heat wave; it's been over 100 for two weeks.

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Originally Posted by Kittycatpenut

The lady who cares for the reptiles there has her own. I can't remember what kinds of reptiles she has but I think she has at least five of them including a ball python. As for breeders, I live in the middle of nowhere so there probably aren't any, but I'll look. I don't really want to order a snake online because of the heat wave; it's been over 100 for two weeks.

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Snakes only get shipped under reasonable temperatures -- I forget the temp ranges that which snakes are shipped. But during the warmer months of the year snakes will be packed in with cool packs so they don't overheat.

I think the upper limit is 90 F, and the weather channel says it might not cool down until September.

I found a breeder nearby that will have some hatchlings in a few months.

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Originally Posted by Kittycatpenut

The lady who cares for the reptiles there has her own. I can't remember what kinds of reptiles she has but I think she has at least five of them including a ball python. As for breeders, I live in the middle of nowhere so there probably aren't any, but I'll look. I don't really want to order a snake online because of the heat wave; it's been over 100 for two weeks.

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I find it hard to believe there aren't any breeders in TEXAS lol. I know it's a monstrous state, but I also had no idea how many breeders were in my area until I looked, and this place is one of the best places to look. I found a friend and breeder (and our day jobs are the same coincidentally) only about 30 minutes from me. I met him through here. Hobby breeders are everywhere, just look. The last place I'd advise someone to get a reptile is Petco or Petsmart. Even if the employees do their best to take care of them, there's certain things they are not allowed to change due to corporate policy, and supporting one store is like supporting all the others, even the ones where the employees could care less and the ball pythons look/are sick. I've seen some stores that do a decent job with that they have, but buying from one is buying from them all unfortunately. :(

You would think it would be easy to find a breeder, but I live in a very small town which doesn't even have a grocery store, and with gas prices so high we can't really go more than a hour away. I've looked, and all I found were people trying to get rid of pets they couldn't care for. I did find one breeder Blue Apple Herps which will have hatchlings in a few months, I'll probably be going there.

Which snake has the shortsest lifespan? King snake, corn snake, or Ball python. My moms newest reason no to get one is " they live too long". Don't leopard geckos live 5-10+ years?

I don't know about kings or corns, but ball pythons can live 20 - 40 years if you care for them well. BUT, that shouldn't matter, since I doubt you'll be living with your mom for 20 - 40 years. Bring that up with her. As far as she's concerned, the snake will be in her house for maybe 5 years, less if you can bring it to college with you.

Agreed, most snakes have a fairly long life span....she won't have to care for it once you move out so why worry?

I agree that it makes no sence, along with all of her other reasons for not letting me get one. I wish she would give me a good, logical reason. Unfortunately, she won't even let me talk about getting a snake without cutting me off or changing the subject.

Ok, I am going to play the devils advocate.

Why are you in such a hurry to get a snake? Are you one of these people that have to have instant gratification? What will you do when you are in collage? You said you will graduate at 15, so you must be smart. What is wrong with waiting a few years? You are living under your parents roof so you must follow their rules. Sorry but that is the fact of life. You will ALWAYS have to follow someone else's rules. If you get an appt are you going to go into a no pet place and 'sneak' in your pet? What if it gets out? Will you have a job to feed this snake? What if the snake gets sick and needs a vet? Who will have to pay for it? What about when you get a boyfriend and a job? Are you willing to take the time to care for your animal even though you want to spend time with him? What about studding?

Life is full of "I want that now" things. You see a LOT of people giving away animals, especially snakes and chinchilla's because they DO require care. Oh, it is fine at first but then the grind of the reality kicks in. You are sick and you just cleaned cages and your snake takes a dump in the water. You don't feel like cleaning it AGAIN. Are you going to let it sit or grit your teeth and clean it?

I am sorry to be such a stick in the mud but I have seen what happens when a young person gets a "long term" pet. Pets are a handicap when looking for a place to live as well make no bones about it (unless you plan on living with mom and dad for the next 10 years or so). Especially snakes. A LOT of people are afraid of them. When they ask about pets are you not going to say anything or speak up? Let me tell you when the word "snake" leaves your lips, the landlord will find SOME reason not to rent to you. What then?

Also you already have pets, why not just be happy with what you have?

LOL Ok I am going to get off my soap box but just some thoughts from a mom that has been where your mom IS.

I'll be getting a job as soon as I turn 16, and currently I babysit so I have quite a bit saved up. I'm the kind of person who puts pets first. Recently, my cat started getting really thin, and being an indoor/outdoor cat me and my dad thougt she had worms. So I told my mom and she said we had no money on carecredit(without checking) and said that she had to wait until next march. Well, I got my dad to call carecredit and they said we had over 300$ on it! Now Spooky has a vet appointment on Monday. Also, the daily grind doesn't bother me so much, because every day I feed the dogs and cats, do the cat box, the dishes, and care for and handle the geckos(including picking up their poop, even at 11 o'clock at night) I would like a snake because I want another pet to care for. At least to me, handling them is only one of the joys of pet ownership.