Here we go, moving, agian.

Oookay. So, I was supposed to be moving pretty darn far away with my mom and grandma. Out to Byron, IL. But as of lately I've started to think it's not a great idea, my mom doesn't care if she is away from her family she just wants to be near her new boyfriend. She doesn't care if she just drags me and my grandma along. But me, my sisters and their kids are everything to me. The few friends I have are here, as are the reptile shows I love so much.

So, I am going to be moving in with my aunt & uncle in Hinkley, IL. Total hicktown (which is fine with me :P) . I am just freaking out how to break it to my mom, things are going to get ugly :( I plan on making the move in the next week, I get their whole basement. Which is nice. My uncle is even going to help me build some new racks for my kids :)

But, wish me luck. I just know if I move with my mom I am going to fall back into that dark hole I am still trying to climb out of. I'm 21 years old, and have grown up a lot faster in life than some people my age have had to. I had no other choice, but I can't live with that woman anymore.

Good luck!:gj:

Best of luck to you :), this is probably a better move for anyway. I just don't like the comment the bf said to the other day, creeps me out

Good Luck!

Jim Smith

Good luck with everything!

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Originally Posted by Kyle1989

Good luck!:gj:

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Originally Posted by j_h_smith

Good Luck!
Jim Smith

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Originally Posted by Agent73

Good luck with everything!

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Thanks guys!

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Originally Posted by llovelace

Best of luck to you :), this is probably a better move for anyway. I just don't like the comment the bf said to the other day, creeps me out

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Yeah, I still don't either. She is just going to get herself in the same mess she did with every other boyfriend and I am not going to sit around and get caught in the middle of it anymore.

I've read your posts about your situation recently. I have to say, I think that moving with your aunt and uncle is a MUCH better idea than following your mom around. I don't know you or your situation personally, but it sounds like you will have a lot more respect and a better home life in general once you're away from your mom and her bf. Maybe in time she'll figure it out for herself, but at 21, you need to be free from that drama... So congratz on making the tough decision, but don't forget that this is what's best for you right now and stick with this choice...

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Originally Posted by Inknsteel

I've read your posts about your situation recently. I have to say, I think that moving with your aunt and uncle is a MUCH better idea than following your mom around. I don't know you or your situation personally, but it sounds like you will have a lot more respect and a better home life in general once you're away from your mom and her bf. Maybe in time she'll figure it out for herself, but at 21, you need to be free from that drama... So congratz on making the tough decision, but don't forget that this is what's best for you right now and stick with this choice...

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It's one of the biggest choices I am going to have to make, I've followed her around for 21 years with all her different boyfriends that turn out all the same. She has started drinking lately, with him so that's another warning sign to me. I fit in really well in my Uncles house-hold, and I know all this major stress will start to fall away.

One of the most painful things though, is my mom has never said I love you to me. When she gives me a hug, it's ackward and she acts like she doesn't even want to be touching me :(

Your family will be the people you choose to make your family--not those who are simply related by blood.

It's definitely time to get away from that sort of influence. Sometimes it's easier to love our relatives when they're not so close by.

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Originally Posted by WingedWolfPsion

Sometimes it's easier to love our relatives when they're not so close by.

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This is soooo true...

Good luck with the move, and telling your mom. If she does blow up on you just take the higher road and walk away. Not your problem once you move out anyways.

I'm sixteen and had to basically cut my mom out of life over the last year. I'm lucky enough to have found my OWN family who loves and respects me. They appreciate everything I do and they let me know. My mother is a drug addict and feels like she needs a man to complete her. The most recent one, an alcoholic, convinced her that my boyfriend and I were the reason she is an addict. Thus she kicked us out and I haven't spoken to her since. She is true poison.


I hope you can be lucky enough to keep your mother a part of your life while also creating a new one for yourself.

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Originally Posted by WingedWolfPsion

Your family will be the people you choose to make your family--not those who are simply related by blood.

It's definitely time to get away from that sort of influence. Sometimes it's easier to love our relatives when they're not so close by.

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I believe you are right, I am hoping things could get better between us if we are apart... but I am not completely sure it will work. My oldest sister is 35 and her and my mom still don't see eye to eye.

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Originally Posted by Elise.m

This is soooo true...

Good luck with the move, and telling your mom. If she does blow up on you just take the higher road and walk away. Not your problem once you move out anyways.

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Well, I told her about a half hour ago. She isn't to happy, but she said I can do whatever I want and then hung up on me :(

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Originally Posted by sarahlovesmiike

I'm sixteen and had to basically cut my mom out of life over the last year. I'm lucky enough to have found my OWN family who loves and respects me. They appreciate everything I do and they let me know. My mother is a drug addict and feels like she needs a man to complete her. The most recent one, an alcoholic, convinced her that my boyfriend and I were the reason she is an addict. Thus she kicked us out and I haven't spoken to her since. She is true poison.


I hope you can be lucky enough to keep your mother a part of your life while also creating a new one for yourself.

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Honestly, I wish I could be lucky to have her change when I move out. But I am not getting my hopes up, seems whenever I do that lately I still get let down. My mom, like yours believes she always needs a man around too. And yeah, those boyfriends can influence them in the worst ways possible. It's hard to watch, I've tried to step in and tell her what I think but she just pushes me away.

well I live at home but then again being on disablity means you don't make it on your own anywere, so it helps mom out too. She don't drive, can mow a yard, or do some other things at all. She went though the same thing for years with her so called bf as I grew up. I just acted like they were not around most the time sinc the were nothing but losers( she finally seen I was right lol) but sadly at my age 33 it sucks to be at home but were am I gonigo t find a place I can have snakes,and pay only like 200 for rent.eletric and other utlities ( that after I pay my truck payment,insurances and such) It not happen.

So it a win lose deal. but I don't really need ot answer to her , just run her to the store as need and such. I can go do what I want if I make sure to let her know if gone more than a night ( so she will feed rodents while I am gone)


But yeah I say get your life straight save up funds for your needs and get yourself settle remember to help the aunt and uncle the best you can and what not. Don't be like me a person that only visits the rest of the trailer when looking for food only or my clothes lol..

I also ask the uncle about the temps in the basement during winter since you may need an extra heatsource for the reptiles kids.

My mother never wanted be have me in the first place, I was 27 before I forgave the awful things she said, did, and let my stepfather do to my sister and I. It is the reason I decided to become a Psychologist. It takes some hard times to get through it sometimes, but I know you can do it girl! The main thing is to stay drama free, focused, and strive to do better than she did.

Get in the basement and stay a while.

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Originally Posted by mechnut450

I also ask the uncle about the temps in the basement during winter since you may need an extra heatsource for the reptiles kids.

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The basement actually stays pretty warm , I do have a spaceheater but will only use it if I absolutely have too. I am going to attempt to make another rack with my uncle that will fit INTO my closet.. lol I can insolate that too. Somehow.

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Originally Posted by Swingline0.0.1

My mother never wanted be have me in the first place, I was 27 before I forgave the awful things she said, did, and let my stepfather do to my sister and I. It is the reason I decided to become a Psychologist. It takes some hard times to get through it sometimes, but I know you can do it girl! The main thing is to stay drama free, focused, and strive to do better than she did.

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Your lucky you are able to forgive, not all people are strong enough to do that. I still have quite a few things to forgive people for but I can honestly say I don't think I can do it. The more pain you've gone through, gives you more experience and the ability to help others. I was told I should be a counseler for abused woman.

But thank you :) I am doing my best, I think moving in with my hillbilly of an uncle will make things a lot better. Drama free is the way to go.

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Originally Posted by Jason Bowden

Get in the basement and stay a while.

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What I plan to do, haha.

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Originally Posted by shescountry89

The basement actually stays pretty warm , I do have a spaceheater but will only use it if I absolutely have too. I am going to attempt to make another rack with my uncle that will fit INTO my closet.. lol I can insolate that too. Somehow..

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I would advise insulating the closet walls with Styrofoam sheets perhaps. Heating the whole basement might make you an unwelcome guest when the utility bills start rising but the basement will probably be 10 degrees colder than the 1st floor so insulating the closet will be a good idea.

It doesn't sound like your mother has her life in order. It would be better for you to start making your own life now.
It may seem daunting for you to do so at first but you will quickly adjust. I left my family at the age of 17.
Best of luck to you. I think that you will do fine. Judging by your posts, it seems to me that you have common sense. That will carry you through.

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Originally Posted by dsirkle

I would advise insulating the closet walls with Styrofoam sheets perhaps. Heating the whole basement might make you an unwelcome guest when the utility bills start rising but the basement will probably be 10 degrees colder than the 1st floor so insulating the closet will be a good idea.

It doesn't sound like your mother has her life in order. It would be better for you to start making your own life now.
It may seem daunting for you to do so at first but you will quickly adjust. I left my family at the age of 17.
Best of luck to you. I think that you will do fine. Judging by your posts, it seems to me that you have common sense. That will carry you through.

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Hey, yeah I was thinking about talking to my uncle about doing that. It would probably work a lot better if i put the ball pythons in there. I need to make another hatchling/juvinile rack so it can actually fit in there. They are in 12qt tubs right now. I just found 6+ft of flexwatt in a box I had burried in my closet here.

My oldest sister, who is 35 left at 17. Because she couldn't handle being around my mom. And right now, I have to go get my license renewed then I am going to start moving stuff. I'm suck a wreck :( I guess I have my take my cat too, otherwise my mom is going to put her down.