How do you guys do it.

I have a secret.
I am one of those people, that no matter the smile on my face & how happy I am.

I am completely broken inside

I should be happy, I just moved out & into my own apartment.
I am finally away from everything, on my own.
I am getting a restraining order on my ex.
I haven't slept more than 3 hours in 2 days, i'm having nightmares.
My family is falling apart.
& I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to.
My roomate doesn't understand, because she has a amazing family.
People who support her, a mother who doesn't say
"Get over it" When you come to her balling, and in pain and doesn't want to talk to you because she is to busy moving far away from you with her new boyfriend.

I am losing my composure, I am so tired that I am not cooherant.
I feel like my animals are all I have, and I don't know how much more I can take.

My ex has threatened my life, and has made me paranoid so I don't want to go anywhere.

I am 21 years old, and just want to give up everything. I don't have anyone.
Someone please tell me why I should even try anymore.

You know why you should try?

Because we ALL care and love you!

No, not all of us know you personally.

But we DO know that you are a great person, who is sweet, kind, caring, and considerate. And that is enough for me.

You make a difference to every person that you help. You made a difference to me telling me that you hope I had a better day, which made my day!

There are a million reasons why you should still try. Just wait and find out :)

:hug:

Bunch of love,
Mac

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sadistic Serpent

You know why you should try?

Because we ALL care and love you!

No, not all of us know you personally.

But we DO know that you are a great person, who is sweet, kind, caring, and considerate. And that is enough for me.

You make a difference to every person that you help. You made a difference to me telling me that you hope I had a better day, which made my day!

There are a million reasons why you should still try. Just wait and find out :)

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X2!!
u cant give up for the simple fact that ur not a quiter and ur stronger than that. i was kinda in the same boat as u with feelin like everyhing around me falling apart and i have no one to look to but there is always someone to come to, u have a whole BP.net here for u :) i know from experience that things will get better so NEVER give up. look for comfort in ur good friends and most of all in ur pets :) were here for u when u need someone to talk to so NEVER EVER give up cuz when things get bad they can only get better from there :):)

For $20 you can get a crackhead to kick the crap out of your ex!!! :D

"If it is to be, it is up to me."

Why? I will tell you why. I cant speak for everyone but I have been their. Trust me it is not easy. But there is a light at the end of this dark and dismal road. You will always have people that care about you. Your mother is to caught up in her own life to realize what she is doing and she will see it one day and regret it. She may not say anything to you but she will feel guilty about it. As far as your ex just cut all ties with him and do not feed into his shenanigans.

You are a very pretty girl and will find find that someone special, but do not jump into anything to fast. Give your self sometime to adapt to your new surroundings.

Now go and pick up your favorite snake and go sit in your favorite chair and just veg out.

If you need to talk you know where to find some great people that care about you.

Take care of YOURSELF!

Everybody gets overwhelmed with life at some point, and you've definitely got a lot on your plate. It's 100% valid and OK to be freaked out about it. That said, you CAN get through it. Being out on your own can be daunting, but once you get used to it, you'll never want to go back to living with your parents. The freedom to live your own life and make your own rules is huge.

Regarding your ex, I read your other thread on him a while ago, and he sounds like a significant problem, but always remember that your life is worth more than anyone who would ever threaten you. Getting a restraining order is definitely a good first step. You can't let him prevent you from living your life, though. You have to keep doing what you normally would, albeit perhaps with a little more alertness.

Your roommate may not understand, but given some time, she probably will, and I imagine she cares about you at least a little bit.

Sleep can be tough in a situation like yours - if it was me, I'd get on my bike and ride until I just couldn't anymore, then take a long shower. Exercise of any kind can be just the thing to get you to relax. It uses up a lot of that pent-up nervous energy, releases endorphins, and can also get your mind off of things. I find that I sleep better after exercise than just about any other time, plus it's great stress relief when I'm nervous/angry/<insert strong emotion here>.

Anyway, I hope some of that helps. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you'll eventually find your way. :)

take a vacation for you! Get a friend and go, far away, have a great time! no worries.... just forget it all take a break, relax... and when you come back, you will be able to handle it :grouphug: :)

I only hope for the best for you!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by olstyn

Everybody gets overwhelmed with life at some point, and you've definitely got a lot on your plate. It's 100% valid and OK to be freaked out about it. That said, you CAN get through it. Being out on your own can be daunting, but once you get used to it, you'll never want to go back to living with your parents. The freedom to live your own life and make your own rules is huge.

Regarding your ex, I read your other thread on him a while ago, and he sounds like a significant problem, but always remember that your life is worth more than anyone who would ever threaten you. Getting a restraining order is definitely a good first step. You can't let him prevent you from living your life, though. You have to keep doing what you normally would, albeit perhaps with a little more alertness.

Your roommate may not understand, but given some time, she probably will, and I imagine she cares about you at least a little bit.

Sleep can be tough in a situation like yours - if it was me, I'd get on my bike and ride until I just couldn't anymore, then take a long shower. Exercise of any kind can be just the thing to get you to relax. It uses up a lot of that pent-up nervous energy, releases endorphins, and can also get your mind off of things. I find that I sleep better after exercise than just about any other time, plus it's great stress relief when I'm nervous/angry/<insert strong emotion here>.

Anyway, I hope some of that helps. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you'll eventually find your way. :)

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Living on my own was one of my actual dreams, and it's finally come true. But since my roomate is not moved in yet I am afriad to be alone. I am on edge, and haven't eaten in almost 48 hours. My roomate TRIES to understand, but she says she really doesn't know what to say.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Repsrul

Why? I will tell you why. I cant speak for everyone but I have been their. Trust me it is not easy. But there is a light at the end of this dark and dismal road. You will always have people that care about you. Your mother is to caught up in her own life to realize what she is doing and she will see it one day and regret it. She may not say anything to you but she will feel guilty about it. As far as your ex just cut all ties with him and do not feed into his shenanigans.

You are a very pretty girl and will find find that someone special, but do not jump into anything to fast. Give your self sometime to adapt to your new surroundings.

Now go and pick up your favorite snake and go sit in your favorite chair and just veg out.

If you need to talk you know where to find some great people that care about you.

Take care of YOURSELF!

---

The reasons my family is falling apart, is because my mom cares only about herself and no one else. I can be sitting there balling my eyes out and she'll shrug it off, tell me to get over it and go on complaining about how her life sucks because she can't afford anything. Even though she takes random days off work, almost 4 at a time to go on mini vacations with her new bf to go fishing. I am stuck in the middle of a war, and can't put any words in or i'll get yelled at.

I've said it before, and i'll say it agian that it's sad when you have so much to say and no one to say it too. When you bottle it up inside, and the only people you can really vent to is online. I know there are a lot of great people on here, and I am thankful for that.

Recently, it was my sisters birthday. My mom hasn't seen her grandkids in 2 months and she told me she didn't want to go to the party because she had better things to do. What does that tell you? I only seen my dad once a month, he has a new family, and even though I have lived with my mom my entire life he understands me more.

I should be so HAPPY right now, but everything is drained out of me.

You're a good person and you have a lot of support from the good people on this forum! You may feel like you're dealing with this alone, but trust me you're not. We are all here for you!

You have to remind yourself that the pain you may be feeling, no matter how bad, is only matched by the beauty that still exists all around you! It may not seem like it now, but it's moments like these that will make you stronger in the long run! The troubling times that test one's heart and soul will end up doubling the strength of your resolve, courage, and compassion! You'll get through this and you'll come out on the other side stronger then ever!

Try to focus on the things that make you happy. Try to discover new things that will bring you happiness. You're much stronger then you realize and you can take this pain and turn it into positive forces.

It's hard for others to see into our individual "mental prisons". Your roommate most likely cares for you but just doesn't understand how deep these holes we can fall into get... You say you don't have anyone but just look at the positive responses you've received just in the last hour! You've been there for us in the past and now we are all here for you now! We may not be sitting there right next to you but we all offer our virtual shoulders you can cry on anytime you need to! .. As for the insomnia - I know all about that! Olstyn has it right - try to exercise before going to bed. It can be extremely hard to fall asleep when you have a lot on your mind. The best thing you can do is to try and sleep ONLY when you are really exhausted. Exercise is also a great way to release some pent up negative energy!

Just keep pushing forward. It will be worth it in the end. I promise.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ColdBloodedCarnival

You're a good person and you have a lot of support from the good people on this forum! You may feel like you're dealing with this alone, but trust me you're not. We are all here for you!

You have to remind yourself that the pain you may be feeling, no matter how bad, is only matched by the beauty that still exists all around you! It may not seem like it now, but it's moments like these that will make you stronger in the long run! The troubling times that test one's heart and soul will end up doubling the strength of your resolve, courage, and compassion! You'll get through this and you'll come out on the other side stronger then ever!

Try to focus on the things that make you happy. Try to discover new things that will bring you happiness. You're much stronger then you realize and you can take this pain and turn it into positive forces.

It's hard for others to see into our individual "mental prisons". Your roommate most likely cares for you but just doesn't understand how deep these holes we can fall into get... You say you don't have anyone but just look at the positive responses you've received just in the last hour! You've been there for us in the past and now we are all here for you now! We may not be sitting there right next to you but we all offer our virtual shoulders you can cry on anytime you need to! .. As for the insomnia - I know all about that! Olstyn has it right - try to exercise before going to bed. It can be extremely hard to fall asleep when you have a lot on your mind. The best thing you can do is to try and sleep ONLY when you are really exhausted. Exercise is also a great way to release some pent up negative energy!

Just keep pushing forward. It will be worth it in the end. I promise.

---

I am trying to focus, more than ever. I am glad to have everyone on here, I feel stupid for venting my problems online but... i really have no other choice. I know everyone has problems, but there are sometimes in my life, like right now where my faith in everything is broken. As for sleep, it will probably be coming soon. At least I hope so.

I am going back to my apartment, don't have internet there yet.

Time for tough love Chica.

You are enabling your mother to be greedy and self-centered by continuing to go to her with your problems only to have her dump hers on you. It's not about fault or blame or any of that crap, some people just aren't good at being parents. The reasons, for now, don't matter. You got short changed. Get over it.

You're young, fairly good looking and have a decent brain. You also know how to work people. Don't deny it, your bar posts make it evident. You're not the first and are far from the last, but if you can't be honest with yourself, you will be miserable.

Since you do have a working brain, what you need is some guidance. Do you have grandparents that you're on good terms with? Any family at all that would lend you a shoulder? I have no doubt that you will be fine in a fairly short time. You're going through a lot of stuff right now and some of it probably for the first time. We learn by doing, by the mistakes we make and the successes we achieve. Right now you're doing a lot for the first time. It will be uncomfortable and hard and make you want to give up. Welcome to The World.

There are people here who will offer advice, heh, and some like me who will want to be helpful but know that the only way for you to really get through this and be better for it, is to just do it. Do it the best you can, learn from your mistakes and build on your successes. You're only 21. It's OK to not know all the answers and feel just the way you do. It's OK to complain about it, a bit, and ask for help and just vent.

Then, when you're done with that, move on. Make a list of what you want to do in the next 30, 60, 90 days and do that. Don't rely on your mother for anything. If you don't put her in a position where she can let you down, you won't feel so bad. If your dad can help, great. Maybe show him this thread and let him see what you're really going through. He may not know. Sometimes us guys, while we mean well and try hard, just don't see what you women do, what you need. It's OK to spell it out for him, us. Occasionally.

Try keeping a journal or just writing things down and working them out. Remember though, if you put it online it never goes away. If it's on your computer, someone can find it. If you put things down you want no one to ever know, and it's OK to do that, use paper. Then destroy it when you're done. Writing your problems and then burning the paper, safely, can also help let go of anxiety and fear.

I think you'll be OK. Don't give up, don't give in.

Why? Because if you give up, 'they win'.
Go ahead and get angry. You didn't deserve all of that, after all.

Get something to eat, and start taking care of yourself. If you have to fight to make it, so be it--fight!

What ties you down to the area you're currently in? Family? School?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by shescountry89

I have a secret.
I am one of those people, that no matter the smile on my face & how happy I am.

I am completely broken inside

I should be happy, I just moved out & into my own apartment.
I am finally away from everything, on my own.
I am getting a restraining order on my ex.
I haven't slept more than 3 hours in 2 days, i'm having nightmares.
My family is falling apart.
& I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to.
My roomate doesn't understand, because she has a amazing family.
People who support her, a mother who doesn't say
"Get over it" When you come to her balling, and in pain and doesn't want to talk to you because she is to busy moving far away from you with her new boyfriend.

I am losing my composure, I am so tired that I am not cooherant.
I feel like my animals are all I have, and I don't know how much more I can take.

My ex has threatened my life, and has made me paranoid so I don't want to go anywhere.

I am 21 years old, and just want to give up everything. I don't have anyone.
Someone please tell me why I should even try anymore.

---

516 322 1563 gimme a call if you need to talk. Ive been to hell and back and trust me i know how you feel.

When I went through the dark time of my life, I completely shut down. I've always had the ability to just shut down within a week, and not care about anything. Trust me, you do not want to do this. Because when you come out of it, everything hits you like a ton of bricks and all the emotions come back even more powerful than they were.

Since you need someone to talk to, have you tried therapy? I know everyone is squeamish at the word therapist, but they can help. My BF was like my therapist, I don't know how he pulled it off but he did. Without being able to talk to someone, it will eat you alive, and you'll dwell on these things for days on end.

If you need someone to talk to, I come from a shattered home. I'm not a pro, but I have shoulders that are dry :)

I have tons of drama in my life...losing a contempt of court hearing and having to pay my baby daddy thousands of dollars and knowing I don't get to see my daughter for months on end, come home to have my TV and phone cut off cause I can't pay the bills because my school screwed up all of my paper work and has shorted me over a thousand dollars over several months...and am blocked from enrolling in the new semester so I don't know whether I will get paid for the month of June and my financial aid also got blocked so no money there either....don't know how bills will get paid for July....

And that was just the last 2-3 months...imagine that kind of crap for years on end....that is my life....been in a horrible custody battle for over 5 years now...

All these were out of my control....if you can control it that is one thing...if not that is a totally different thing....You absolutely cannot control most of those things so why waste your time....

The most important thing to remember is: Someone always has it worse than you!!!

I don't know whether you are religious or not but here is a great line:

If he brings you to it....he will bring you through it....

Let me tell you my story, so you KNOW I can relate

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Reynauds syndrome 3 years ago.

I am in constant pain. I use to skateboard.. bike ride, hang out with friends

Now I hate my life

I am alone, I have no friends, I am a jerk, And all of this has made me a harder person.

I bottle everything up. Nobody understands my situation. they think I am making up my illness. I seriously just cry sometimes because of the lack of understanding in my family.... and If I said I wasnt a LITTLE depressed, Id by lying to you.

I hate my life.. and I cant stand the people around me

I have often thought about suicide and what it would be like if things were differen't

I also have severe insomnia. I sleep 3 hours a night.

Now, what has kept me going

Little things.. like my cat. I have a 9 year old cat that ive had for a LONG time. I love her more than I love my brother. im not joking


I have my computer.. I love my computer. I love gaming.

I have had all the physical activity stripped away from me in my life so Ive had to find other ways to stay as happy as possible.


And although I am a little depressed about my situation, it would be 100% worse, I would probably have killed myself already, if it wasnt for these little things I love

Think about all the little things you enjoy most in life, and also think of your family

thats how you pull through stuff like this


Good luck!, you'll get better!!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by MikeV

Let me tell you my story, so you KNOW I can relate

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Reynauds syndrome 3 years ago.

I am in constant pain.

Now I hate my life

I am alone, I have no friends, I am a jerk, And all of this has made me a harder person.

I bottle everything up. Nobody understands my situation. they think I am making up my illness. I seriously just cry sometimes because of the lack of understanding in my family.... and If I said I wasnt a LITTLE depressed, Id by lying to you.

I hate my life.. and I cant stand the people around me

I have often thought about suicide and what it would be like if things were differen't

I also have severe insomnia. I sleep 3 hours a night.

---

I know what you are going through. I too have constant pain(I have an appointment with a rumatolagist next week my doctor thinks I may have fibromyalgia), daily headaches, server migraines(I take daily medication to try to cut these down and I need to inject my self when I do get one), depression(I have been diagnosted), anxiety(I have been diagnosted), very bad insomnia(I have been on so many perscribed meds that did not help) and a few years ago I thought about ending it all.

Not much makes me happy. Most people annoy me even if they have not done anything. I try to be nice to everyone but it is hard because of the way I feel everyday. After all it is not anyone elses fault.

What keeps me going is my animals. I have two cats, three dogs and all of my snakes. When ever I have had a bad day(which is pretty much everyday) they always cheer me up.

Laura, if you need to talk to someone, please call me. I would be happy to listen and help you in any way I can. :hug:

Get some sleep.
Get over the ex. Why even go to places he goes? Does he murder people often?

Be true to yourself.

Eat healthy and have fun!

Take a self defense class.
It's a good way to start to learn to empower yourself.
You will learn how to protect yourself and in knowing YOU know how, it
will help you to be more relaxed in your own environment.

You learn to stand up for yourself and the bullies see this they back down and fade away.

Also a ball bat in a few selective locations throughout the home is helpful ;)

I saw this post and immeditly thought of this song, hopfully it will cheer you up. I know that when ever im feeling down it makes me feel sooo much better.

YouTube - Streetlight Manifesto - A Better Place, A Better Time

:) hope you cheer up.

laura my life too has been threatened by my then ex. im still here 8 yrs later. chances are he just HAD to have something to say to affect you since you dumped him and put him in a vulnerable position. every one else stole the words right out of my mouth.
keep living your life for you (& your animals), get some sleep, a bit of your favorite comfort food...oh and a routine. a good 'ol routine cant hurt.
i clean when im really upset...strange huh? works for me.
anyways, good luck. [hugs]

situations like this can be tough. often i get those feelings of no one else caring for me and that im the only one that cares about me. I have a wonderful girlfriend who cares about me (sometimes too much) so I don't have to feel like that anymore. don't let your problems put you down because the more you think about them the more they will get to you. things I do to get away from my problems: watch my favorite movies, blast my favorite music, play video games all day (killing is always fun/stress relieving), and sometimes hang out with friends. go out and try and enjoy life, your ex may be giving you a hard time and you may not want to go anywhere, but dont let that stop you from enjoying yourself. as a matter of fact, carry pepper spray and/or taser if he somehow shows up :D, but that's just me and my evil mind. im 21 too and as long as I don't think about things, they don't bother me.

its all good, not telling you to get over it, but it will get better, also no crackhead, im broke and will do for 10