Yes sir!

Ok let me start off by saying this WILL be a RANT.. My parents are from the south, V.A. area, I was brought up to have respect and manors for anyone young, old and inbetween...

Why is it these days when you say " yes sir, or no ma'am" people take offense to it, as if instead I am saying " yes you old fart, or no you old hag"

I was also a boy scout and the whole sir thing is natrual to me and my father was in the air force and my brother is in the air force so sir and ma'am are used alot. I have had people tell me in an angry kind of way " dont call me sir or ma'am" WTF!!!!!:taz:
How about I call you some other choice names them, I dont get it, these days people treat other people like trash! You can hold the door open for someone and they will just walk right in and not even say thank you. I mean how hard is it to say thank you, hell even thanks is good.. alot of people these days are rude, and they dont care. It has become the "NORM" to be rude.

Just something I was thinkin about b/c I started a new job and I was callin people sir and ma'am out of respect for them, NOT b/c they are old , one of my new employers told me to stop callin people sir, WTF! Hell I call my 6 year old daughter ma'am and my 25 year old fiance ma'am..

Has anyone else noticed this? Or was I just raised different?:confused:

Don't worry, I have too.

I will wait for five minutes opening a door, and the person will walk in without a glance towards my direction :(

The standards of respect has been lowered greatly.

Definitely. I heard a cashier tell a story where he called a customer "Buddy", that's just what he calls people. This guy threatened him and told him to never call him buddy again! Crazy! You would think people would know that they're just trying to do their job!

I find it rare and nice when people call me ma'am, or call my BF sir.

Well I've noticed that over the past 30 or so odd years, respect / common curtesy has gone all but out the window.

Being for the north east I'm used to rude people. I always find it weird traveling to places like CA or parts of the country where people start talking to you for no reason or just saying hello out of the blue.

It's kinda like culture shock coming from living in philly. Only time people on the street talk to you is when they want something from you.

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Originally Posted by zeke

Ok let me start off by saying this WILL be a RANT.. My parents are from the south, V.A. area, I was brought up to have respect and manors for anyone young, old and inbetween...

Why is it these days when you say " yes sir, or no ma'am" people take offense to it, as if instead I am saying " yes you old fart, or no you old hag"

I was also a boy scout and the whole sir thing is natrual to me and my father was in the air force and my brother is in the air force so sir and ma'am are used alot. I have had people tell me in an angry kind of way " dont call me sir or ma'am" WTF!!!!!:taz:
How about I call you some other choice names them, I dont get it, these days people treat other people like trash! You can hold the door open for someone and they will just walk right in and not even say thank you. I mean how hard is it to say thank you, hell even thanks is good.. alot of people these days are rude, and they dont care. It has become the "NORM" to be rude.

Just something I was thinkin about b/c I started a new job and I was callin people sir and ma'am out of respect for them, NOT b/c they are old , one of my new employers told me to stop callin people sir, WTF! Hell I call my 6 year old daughter ma'am and my 25 year old fiance ma'am..

Has anyone else noticed this? Or was I just raised different?:confused:

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I hear ya! I opened a door for a lady and she snapped at me :rolleyes:.I wanted to slap her big butt with the door after that but decided not to :P.These days people are rude and do not understand someone being polite or respectful so they can open the doors themeselves from now on :P.

Your a New Yorker now, act like it.

It's what their more comfortable with. It's like if some European dude came up and started kissing your cheeks.... You'd freak a little.

In Ohio were somewhere in between. I'll acknowledge your existence with a little head nod.... but I won't actually talk to you. :P

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Originally Posted by garweft

Your a New Yorker now, act like it.

It's what their more comfortable with. It's like if some European dude came up and started kissing your cheeks.... You'd freak a little.

In Ohio were somewhere in between. I'll acknowledge your existence with a little head nod.... but I won't actually talk to you. :P

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:rofl: I'm in Middletown, Ohio, and I always end up talking and smiling at everyone :D

Its almost a law in Georgia to say Yes sir and Yes ma'am.

Northeast florida here, and we southern folks understand that ya should call folks "sir" and "ma'am" and open doors for folks and hold the elevator if'n there's someone a'comin', but what do we know? We're all hicks down here.

That said, I hold doors, use Sir and Ma'am, and usually don't get fussed at about it. The only person that's corrected me about saying "Sir" was a Army Sergeant who twitched, but only because he was just in the middle of training recruits and he automatically snapped "I'm not a SIR! I'm a SERGEANT!" then looked so highly embarassed, I had to laugh while rolling around on the ground. He did apologize. I told him that it was understandable, since most of his recruits probably listen about as well as a shrubbery does.

Otherwise, people generally smile about door holding, and I get a lot of nods or "thank you"s for it.

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Originally Posted by garweft

Your a New Yorker now, act like it.

It's what their more comfortable with. It's like if some European dude came up and started kissing your cheeks.... You'd freak a little.

In Ohio were somewhere in between. I'll acknowledge your existence with a little head nod.... but I won't actually talk to you. :P

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I may live in this hell hole, but I WILL NOT act like the rest of the people in it..

So what your tryin to say is just b/c I live here I NEED to be rude? There is no excuess for rudeness..



Glad to see that I'm not the only one that has noticed this happen... I would like to say thank you to all the SIR's and MA'AM's here! YOU ROCK!

I guess I gotta say that I've never seen what you're talking about. I regularily call people sir or ma'am and have been called such in return. Never have I had someone get upset with me for it. That just sounds like such a silly thing to get angry about.

Well the only time this is happened when it a tough female that doesn't want to feel old but they are always nice about it

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Originally Posted by MarkS

I guess I gotta say that I've never seen what you're talking about. I regularily call people sir or ma'am and have been called such in return. Never have I had someone get upset with me for it. That just sounds like such a silly thing to get angry about.

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Thats the kind of stuff we deal with here in NY, it's sad it really is..

I agree with Matt - it's "normal" to hear Ma'am or Sir here. That said, when my friend's children say "yea Ma'am" to me I'll say "oh - please don't call me Ma'am - it makes me feel so old!" and laugh about it. And I don't let them call me Ms. Abernethy - Ms. Robin is just fine with me if their parents are trying to teach them to show respect.

I ALWAYS make a point to say thank you to anyone who holds a door open for me, and I can't remember a time I wasn't thanked for holding a door for someone else.

Chivalry isn't dead in Georgia!

Edit - Kara used to get so mad at me when I'd answer her with "Yes Ma'am" when I was visiting NERD. She said "stop calling me Ma'am!" and I'd reply "Yes Ma'am!" and she finally went - "OK - I know you can't help it - I'll deal with it!" LOL

Yeah, in Georgia you get it everywhere. I don't like being called 'sir' though. I may be on my second marriage and have a child, but it just still sounds weird.

When I interact with someone noticeably older than myself I tend to use it. I won't use it for someone noticeably younger than myself. Sorry if that offends you.

I call people sir or ma'am all the time. Like "Hi, how are you doing ma'am" No one has really complain, in rare occasion some will say call me miss this or that...

If it is someone closer to my age group, I'm usually a little more casual and would say something like "hi, how you doing" and just cut out the ma'am or sir, but still being polite.

All this applies to my job too. :)

I have to, thats why I taught myself to be a rude degenerate. Now when I am respectful I still hold doors and say yes sir yes ma'am.


But if someone gets an attitude or isn't worthy of respect I don't shy away from saying "Get out of my way you old coot."


Because honestly, some people deserve it.

I can surely sympathize with you. I always call people visibly older than myself sir or ma'am. Always have, always will.

Since I began working for Panera Bread, I call pretty much everybody while I'm at work sir or ma'am. I get a few funny looks now and then, but nothing serious. I do occasionally get a laugh for calling a group of guys, gentlemen. They look over their shoulders, to see who I'm talking to, then laugh when they realize it's them, but never has one gotten angry about it.

What people DO get angry at me for is my lifelong habit of using terms like "Hon" I grew up in a family where everbody called everybody that, and I didn't see anything wrong with it. When I started working at Panera, I would address a customer thus: "Hello Ma'am, what can I get for you today?" After taking the order, I have a habit of saying something like, " Did you need a drink today Hon?" And it has gotten me chewed out more than once by an angry customer.

I CAN see their point of view, after all they don't know me. BUT, if you stand in my line for 10 minutes, and hear me call all 10 of the people in front of you "Hon", why should it bother you when I say the same thing to you as I have to them?

I have also had a number of people who smile very pleasantly when I say things like that, they tell me they didn't think people talked like that anymore. I had one older woman actually pat my head like I was her granddaughter when I called her "Hon". To be honest, I am trying to break that habit while I'm at work, because it is quite upsetting when I customer gets angry about it, but try as I might, I still do it almost everyday.

As far as holding doors and things like that, I still do it, and usually I get a big smile and thank you, or at least a smile. Every now and then, some snot will totally ignore me, which is usually when I let the door shut right in front of their face, or hit them in the butt as they go past.

Gale

I guess its the area I'm in... oh well, its not gonna change who I am. thank you all.

Cheers!

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Originally Posted by zeke

I may live in this hell hole, but I WILL NOT act like the rest of the people in it..

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Hey now! Let's clarify...there is NYC then there is the rest of the state, I'm in Albany and we are pretty polite here. We hold doors and say 'hi' :)
I've never even thought twice about being called ma'am but really don't like the whole 'hon', 'darling', 'sweety' thing...makes me insane!
When I was little we (me and my siblings) called everyone Mr., Mrs. or Miss, no exceptions, ever. A close family friend tried in vain for years to get us all to call her by her first name, we just couldn't bring ourselves to do it. I ran into her a few years back and called her Mrs. Smith, she just cracked up but I STILL can't call her by her first name! lol.
My sister is teaching her kids to use Miss and Mr. and the person's first name, it was funny when one of them insisted I was Miss Auntie K...I got them to drop the Miss. LOL

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Originally Posted by zeke

I guess its the area I'm in... oh well, its not gonna change who I am. thank you all.

Cheers!

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I would guess it is. Have a little faith in humanity...

Where I live people don't say sir or ma'am as far as i know but they're still polite. (usually)

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Originally Posted by Seru1

I have to, thats why I taught myself to be a rude degenerate. Now when I am respectful I still hold doors and say yes sir yes ma'am.


But if someone gets an attitude or isn't worthy of respect I don't shy away from saying "Get out of my way you old coot."


Because honestly, some people deserve it.

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with you on this one if people dont show respect they dont get it shown back from me. i had an older gentleman cut in front of me in the shop the other day like i never existed he got a "oi theres a que here move it"
i was brought up with the saying manners dont cost anything so flipping use them:P got to love bikers for parents lol

Try massachusetts, where everyone here has that nickname that's basically the swear word for bum hole, except it starts with an m. It's all dirty looks, cold shoulders, and road rage here. I've been spit on by a total stranger once, too. It's not to say that there aren't nice people here, but sometimes it seems like they're few and far between. I mean, really, it's not that hard to smile and say thanks when someone holds a door open for you, but everyone I've ever done it for has been a total crank.

I actually think you answered you own rant with "Alot of people these days are rude, and they dont care. It has become the "NORM" to be rude."

I for one applaud you efforts. I love good manners (aka common sense values) but that seems not to be the norm, unfortunately.

I guess that's why I watched so many of the Andy Griffith Show DVD's over and over and over.

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Originally Posted by punkoldschool

with you on this one if people dont show respect they dont get it shown back from me. i had an older gentleman cut in front of me in the shop the other day like i never existed he got a "oi theres a que here move it"
i was brought up with the saying manners dont cost anything so flipping use them:P got to love bikers for parents lol

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Some people think they deserve respect just for not dying.


Sorry thats a load of crap.


You earn respect by being intelligent, kind, and wise. Now if an older person were to ask to go ahead of me in line nicely and I could see they were infirm I would gladly yield unless I had like 4 items and they had 15 (cause you know they are gonna pay with a check and take forever and I'll be gone in a minute with my beer and frozen dinners.)


I'm just saying you better do more than just not die if you want respect. You also better do more than just having a certain Chromazone or skin color. I judge you for who you are not what you are.

I'm 24 and I would prefer people don't call me 'sir', especially people in a service job.

However when they do call me 'sir', I don't get annoyed at anyone but myself.

It's not about age, and it's not about respect. It's about them acting subservient towards me. I want to thank THEM, not the other way around.

Manners and respect will get the same from me, but it's my opinion that you can show respect and kindness without formality. Formality only creates separation and borders.

Not sure if anyone else shared the same thing, but the one that ticks me off the most is when someone bumps into me and pretends that nothing happened. That is flat out rude.

One thing that made me smile this week...
At the baseball game a guy behind me was running to catch the foul ball. As soon as he saw two little kids running to get it, he backed off and made sure they got the ball. As the kids were leaving with their dad they said thank you to the guy. :)

Courtesy and respect go a long ways with me.

Ok so not all new yorkers treat people like trash. but the area i'm in it is an every day thing around here.. to all the respectful NYers out there thank you for not being the "norm"..


Cheers

I grew up in Michigan, and don't find 'ma'am' to be in any way an offensive thing to say.
I have heard some ex Army guys saying "Don't call me Sir; I work for a living", though, lol.

I always hold the door for people behind me, regardless of who they are--the older guys appear utterly bemused by this, so it's fun.

I feel weird when people call me ma'am. I guess it might be because I am a bit on the masculine side and being called ma'am makes me feel like a frilly old lady in a tutu. One time I had a customer that came in and he would call all the female employees "darlin'" "sugar" and "sweetie". It was annoying as crap and weirded us all out.

I use sir and ma'am though. I've never had anyone correct me and I'm always polite at work. I hold doors open for men, women, and children. I have even been known to, on occasion, help retail places bring in their carts from the parkinglot (when people don't put them in the cart return spaces)