Ever feel like....(rant)

You just need to jump in a car, drive as far away as you can and start from scratch? Because that is exactly what I feel like right now.

I feel like nothing in my life is going right at all right now. I'm on academic probation at school, have no job, cant figure things out with my ex, have literally no friends and feel like I am going nowhere in life.

School is a drag and I honestly went to class all of maybe twice per class I was taking last semester. I have no motivation to sit in a class that has nothing to do with what I want to do with my life. I know I want to get into Zoology and/or Marine Biology but can do either of those things being stuck in a Community College in Kansas. Sitting in a classroom is not how I learn, I learn by being hands on and being out in the field. I rather walk around a crappy zoo all day than sit in a class room all day simply being I could find something that I am interested in and learn something about animals. I need to get out of where I am to do what I want to do with my life but don't see that happening right now.

I love my ex more than anything, and she knows it and it seems like she is using that knowledge to toy with me and just drag me along until I am smart enough to just cut all tied with her. I know I can find better than her, but don't want to simply because I love her so much and am so happy when I am with her. We used to see each other everyday even after we did break up, but I haven't seen her in over four weeks now. She always tells me she is busy, or some lame excuse that I see right through. She is always saying she misses me, but when I ask to hang out she doesn't want to. This alone should be enough for me to be smart and just move on, but I just can't get myself to. I think changing my phone number and cutting off all ways of contact with her is the best thing, but cant bring myself do that.

Im hoping that once school starts again in about two and a half weeks I will start to be more social and what not and finally start to get some friends. I'd like to think that I am easy to get along with and everything. I do have a very crude sense of humor, things people find to be extremely funny, I typically find to be stupid, and things people think are stupid are extremely funny to me.

I try to get out and do things that make me happy, but most of them are no fun to do alone. My favorite thing to do is go out and go bowling,but with people and not alone. I hate doing things that I am passionate about with people that aren't as into something as me, because when I get into a new hobby or interest I go all out and learn as much about that thing as I can, and am a sponge to information. And I feel weird because I tend to talk about what I know, even if the people around don't care at all.

The times in my life that I have been the happiest are when I have been on cruises. You have a bunch of new people in front of you that know nothing about you at all, its a fresh slate. I am a naturally shy person who typically will not just go up to anyone and try to start talking, so I enjoy being put into situations where its necessary to get to know people in order to enjoy what is going on around you.

I wish I could just pack up and move out to the coast and get into a school that is going to enable me to be where I want to be in my life ten years from now. But being a broke 19yr old makes that nearly impossible.


/end rant.
I don't care if anyone reads this, just needed to get things off my chest at nearly 3:30AM. I know if anyone does reply to this that they will give quality advice, which is why I LOVE this place even though I don't post to often,

Ryan,

Being a broke 19yr old is your greatest asset. Instead of having a wife, 3 kids and a mortgage, you are basically a free man.

That being said, I suggest working on a cruise ship. Sign up for a 6 month contract. You will see new people every week. Never look back.

Problem solved?

Brandon

The hardest thing to deal with when you're having problems, and I say with experience, is other people. That includes intimate relationships. Other people have their own agenda and only reveal enough of it to try and maintain their interests. (There are situations that this doesn't apply to but an ex is one where it does) The easy answer will always be to get over it. Doesn't always work and isn't always the best solution. You have to assess this relationship for yourself and make the best decision with your happiness in mind.

The second hardest thing to deal with is money. You can't live without it unless your family (or anyone can support you) or you trespass onto someone elses property and live like a wild man surviving on nature. You could commit a crime and go to jail and get three square meals a day. You may just have to look at jobs you wouldn't have considered before. Most fast food places have NOW HIRING signs. When you apply for a better job when the economy starts to turn around it will look better that you worked and were making an effort.

Now ask yourself who is the most important person in your life. You can have two answers to this but the first answer always needs to be yourself. When you have kids you may have multiple answers but the first always has to be yourself. If you can't take care of yourself, you cannot take care of anyone else. With that in mind you have to figure out what you need to do to take care of yourself.

School is a good thing. If you're looking at making new friends at the same time science classes with labs are a pretty good way to do that and fit your major. Speech classes are great because bonding with your classmates is the easiest way to get through that. Most classes that I take that aren't math/engineering/somewhat-science related all require a lot of interaction and most often some kind of group work. Keep that stuff in mind when you sign up for next semester.

Sometimes it's okay to do things you love by yourself too. You shouldn't feel like there is some social need to be accompanied by others. At some point interaction is needed and should be seeked out then. If you love to bowl, do it. In the Air Force we had $0.50 a game days at the bowling alley. I would go and knock out 26 games because it was fun and I got better. I often think I am my own best challenger.

The most important thing is to take care of yourself. Once you're set, then focus on others. Most people who "appear" to be very caring and helpful beyond belief are the most selfish.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BrandonsBalls

...broke...19yr old...free man...

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Could you have truely appreciated that as a 19 year old? I know I couldn't have though I was in the military with a couple years left. The broke part would still suck either way. At 29 now having had my life controlled for 4-1/2 years by the military and having lived in debt with credit cards and car payments and insurance, etc... I truely appreciate having none of those burdens now.

It is a great time to make mistakes though when you're 19 with no responsibilities.



Free is a very loose term. You can never be free and be a part of society.

I know at 19...I seem ancient at 43...but honestly....been there. When you have problems in your relationship....it affects all aspects of your life....IF YOU LET IT!! My hubby has a great saying....."only you can control your emotions...dont let someone else dictate them". Easier said than done...but true.

I mean this ......This too shall pass!! It will! I think Brandons idea is awesome. You are free to go out and do anything right now....how exciting! You can create who you are going to be for the rest of your life....really...that is pretty cool. If you stay in school....go to school!! Remember that your choices with school will affect the rest of your life. Do what you love...not what will pay you the most money...that will come eventually. But doing what you love will net you more wealth in your life.

The girl...there are a millions out there...really. Apparently this one was not meant to be ....move on and stop glamourizing the relationship. Remember the things that are not good in the relationship. I think sometimes we tend to look back at how awesome it was when there were allot of ways we could of been treated better. Remember when it is forever the person better have a great personality because we are all going to pretty much look the same in our 70's. lol.

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That being said, I suggest working on a cruise ship. Sign up for a 6 month contract. You will see new people every week. Never look back.

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^ This is an AWESOME suggestion. I have a friend who is in his twenties who works as a bartender on cruiseliners in the Bahamas. He adores it and at the moment has absolutely no desire to do anything else.

Only to have the troubles of a 19 year old. Not meaning to bust on you, but your problems are but that of your world. Come into the world of the adult with family. Look at the issues you'll have to deal with once you're old enough,at least one mortgage, 2 car payments, a few kids in college, and the big one...a wife going through the change of life. PMS has nothing on this stage of a woman's life.

Kids are a wonderful thing as long as you can spank them and send them to bed.

If you've ever been in debt and then have something else go wrong and you just don't know where the money is going to come from to pay that unexpected bill. Have the police come to your door at 2 am. Have the hospital call you at 5 am. Have 2 traffic accidents in the only 2 cars you own within a month of each other. Get a call from your wife saying the doctor wants to see her immediately. Son says "we" need to talk and you're going to be a grandfather and they're going to have to move into your house. You find out you've got to have an operation and you'll be out of work for 6 months. You find out on December 20th, you're being fired after 20 years on the job.

I'm not saying you don't have problems, but in the scheme of the universe, your problems may not be as bad as you think they are.

Go to school, find a new girlfriend, do the best you can and drag your butt out of bed every morning because it's what you need to do. If you want to do something in zoology, you're going to need schooling. That is unless picking up trash at the zoo is in your future.

Sorry be so hardnosed, but growing up is your reality and reality is not kind to most of us.
Jim Smith

Quote:

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Originally Posted by j_h_smith

Only to have the troubles of a 19 year old. Not meaning to bust on you, but your problems are but that of your world. Come into the world of the adult with family. Look at the issues you'll have to deal with once you're old enough,at least one mortgage, 2 car payments, a few kids in college, and the big one...a wife going through the change of life. PMS has nothing on this stage of a woman's life.

Kids are a wonderful thing as long as you can spank them and send them to bed.

If you've ever been in debt and then have something else go wrong and you just don't know where the money is going to come from to pay that unexpected bill. Have the police come to your door at 2 am. Have the hospital call you at 5 am. Have 2 traffic accidents in the only 2 cars you own within a month of each other. Get a call from your wife saying the doctor wants to see her immediately. Son says "we" need to talk and you're going to be a grandfather and they're going to have to move into your house. You find out you've got to have an operation and you'll be out of work for 6 months. You find out on December 20th, you're being fired after 20 years on the job.

I'm not saying you don't have problems, but in the scheme of the universe, your problems may not be as bad as you think they are.

Go to school, find a new girlfriend, do the best you can and drag your butt out of bed every morning because it's what you need to do. If you want to do something in zoology, you're going to need schooling. That is unless picking up trash at the zoo is in your future.

Sorry be so hardnosed, but growing up is your reality and reality is not kind to most of us.
Jim Smith

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:O Ok ....I need your address as I am sending you a bottle of wine! :8:

Old people telling young people their problems aren't very significant in the universe... I hope I never get that bitter.

A person makes the choice to own a car, get married, have kids, buy a house or anything that comes with responsibility. The difficulties that come along with those choices do NOT in anyway diminish the difficulties a person, who has yet to choose or chose otherwise, may have.

I love the insinuation that to be an adult you have to live a predefined lifestyle. It's like being handed a multiple choice test and the administer tells you that you can choose anything but in the end the correct answer will always be "A".

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BPelizabeth

:O Ok ....I need your address as I am sending you a bottle of wine! :8:

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These are not my problems, if they were I would have killed myself long ago. These are things that you can look forward to growing up.

Jim Smith

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Originally Posted by withonor

Old people telling young people their problems aren't very significant in the universe... I hope I never get that bitter.

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You mistaken bitterness for reality. I'm just saying being bored with school and not getting any from an ex-girlfriend is not a reason to run away off into the sunset.

Quote:

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A person makes the choice to own a car, get married, have kids, buy a house or anything that comes with responsibility. The difficulties that come along with those choices do NOT in anyway diminish the difficulties a person, who has yet to choose or chose otherwise, may have.

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No but it just shows you how much you've got to look forward to. These issues that I quoted are what we all experience as adults. These aren't exceptions, these are the rules. You'll learn one day that older people speak from experience and not just to be heard.

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I love the insinuation that to be an adult you have to live a predefined lifestyle. It's like being handed a multiple choice test and the administer tells you that you can choose anything but in the end the correct answer will always be "A".

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This just shows you how much experience you have in life. There were no insinuations, these are hard cold facts. Trust me, you will experience some if not most of these situations before your life is over.

Sure, you can hug the guy and tell him that everything will be okay. But it probalby won't. If he hates school and cannot stand to be there, then he needs to quit. If his desire to become a zoologist is greater, then that desire will out weight his dislike for school.

Women come and go. He'll fall in love another dozen times and probably fall into lust even more than that. He said it himself, she doesn't want anything to do with him. So why should he continue to dwell on someone that is just going to break his heart, if not his will.

I'm done typing now, I've to go take my medicine and take a nap.
Jim Smith

Quote:

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Originally Posted by j_h_smith

You mistaken bitterness for reality. I'm just saying being bored with school and not getting any from an ex-girlfriend is not a reason to run away off into the sunset.



No but it just shows you how much you've got to look forward to. These issues that I quoted are what we all experience as adults. These aren't exceptions, these are the rules. You'll learn one day that older people speak from experience and not just to be heard.



This just shows you how much experience you have in life. There were no insinuations, these are hard cold facts. Trust me, you will experience some if not most of these situations before your life is over.

Sure, you can hug the guy and tell him that everything will be okay. But it probalby won't. If he hates school and cannot stand to be there, then he needs to quit. If his desire to become a zoologist is greater, then that desire will out weight his dislike for school.

Women come and go. He'll fall in love another dozen times and probably fall into lust even more than that. He said it himself, she doesn't want anything to do with him. So why should he continue to dwell on someone that is just going to break his heart, if not his will.

I'm done typing now, I've to go take my medicine and take a nap.
Jim Smith

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I can tell were not going to agree on this, now or probably 50 years from now (Not literally, figuratively), so I'll refrain from doing battle in someone elses thread.

I'd like to say two things not because I care for a response, but hopefully you can think about them with an open mind.

One, you made a lot of assumptions about me.

Two, "old people" speak, not with experience, but based on their experiences that are unique to them and created at times with unique circumstances. If you spend your time with people who all live life exactly like you do, you can say with experience, but a millionaire, a middle-class family and a lesbian couple all have different experiences with the same life events. Getting married, having kids and buying a house would be interpreted VERY differently by each of those groups. An "adult" with "life experience" in the U.S. can go live in Afghanistan and find that probably a lot of their "experience" doesn't do them any good.

The world is a big place and there is no "right" way to live in it.

Sure David, it's your story and I'm just a character.

Jim Smith

I was in a similar situation a while back.

I was 19 when I dropped out of "real" college, then eventually ended up dropping out of community college as well when my younger brother committed suicide. I was living in my parents' basement and working at Petsmart while my brain rotted. Sure I had friends, and I hung out with them pretty much every day, but life gets dull when all you do is smoke pot and drink cheap beer every night until you pass out next to the girl of the week, hoping a. that you didnt catch anything and b. that she didnt get pregnant.

It sounds to me like you are dealing with depression- I know because I deal with it too. You know you have responsibilities (school in your case), but you dont have the motivation to just suck it up and get it over with. Things that you used to enjoy just seem like they arent worth the effort anymore.

My advice is this: start doing more things you enjoy, find a job you enjoy, and take things one step at a time. You aren't going to wake up one day and get aphone call from a Marine Biologist asking for a personal assistant to join them on their boat while they study humpback whale migration patterns. For now- just find a job that you can enjoy (even minimally) to save up and eventually go to the "real" college where you can follow your dreams.

I thought my life was pointless a while back, but I just realized one day I was going the same direction as my younger brother. I turned it around- I got a job cleaning plastic bins all day at Outback, saved up enough money to move out, and found a girl I could stick with longer than a week. Stopped doing drugs, only drink about once or twice a month, and generally stopped with the self-destructive behavior I was engaging in. I still smoke, but I plan on quitting ( as i'm sure some people here know its not an easy task ).

I'm now paying the bills each month, I'm no longer a dishwasher monkey at work (higher responsibilities, higher pay), I still have my own house and I'm slowly saving up money to go back to school. I don't know what I'm going to study but like I said, take things one step at a time. There's no hurry to just suddenly get everything straight and lead a perfect TV sitcom life.

Sorry for the life story, but I feel like I can relate on a certain degree. What worked for me may not work for everyone, but I hope ito does- my "in a nutshell" advice is to just sit back, relax, and look at things systematically. Take things one step at a time and everything will fall into place.

Oh, and also- don't dwell on the past- I'm talking about your ex. She doesnt care about you and you shouldnt care about her with the way she treats you. Listen to the song "self esteem" by The Offspring ;)

Good luck with everything;
Mike Schultz

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Originally Posted by the_Ryno

You just need to jump in a car, drive as far away as you can and start from scratch? Because that is exactly what I feel like right now.

I feel like nothing in my life is going right at all right now. I'm on academic probation at school, have no job, cant figure things out with my ex, have literally no friends and feel like I am going nowhere in life.

School is a drag and I honestly went to class all of maybe twice per class I was taking last semester. I have no motivation to sit in a class that has nothing to do with what I want to do with my life. I know I want to get into Zoology and/or Marine Biology but can do either of those things being stuck in a Community College in Kansas. Sitting in a classroom is not how I learn, I learn by being hands on and being out in the field. I rather walk around a crappy zoo all day than sit in a class room all day simply being I could find something that I am interested in and learn something about animals. I need to get out of where I am to do what I want to do with my life but don't see that happening right now.

I love my ex more than anything, and she knows it and it seems like she is using that knowledge to toy with me and just drag me along until I am smart enough to just cut all tied with her. I know I can find better than her, but don't want to simply because I love her so much and am so happy when I am with her. We used to see each other everyday even after we did break up, but I haven't seen her in over four weeks now. She always tells me she is busy, or some lame excuse that I see right through. She is always saying she misses me, but when I ask to hang out she doesn't want to. This alone should be enough for me to be smart and just move on, but I just can't get myself to. I think changing my phone number and cutting off all ways of contact with her is the best thing, but cant bring myself do that.

Im hoping that once school starts again in about two and a half weeks I will start to be more social and what not and finally start to get some friends. I'd like to think that I am easy to get along with and everything. I do have a very crude sense of humor, things people find to be extremely funny, I typically find to be stupid, and things people think are stupid are extremely funny to me.

I try to get out and do things that make me happy, but most of them are no fun to do alone. My favorite thing to do is go out and go bowling,but with people and not alone. I hate doing things that I am passionate about with people that aren't as into something as me, because when I get into a new hobby or interest I go all out and learn as much about that thing as I can, and am a sponge to information. And I feel weird because I tend to talk about what I know, even if the people around don't care at all.

The times in my life that I have been the happiest are when I have been on cruises. You have a bunch of new people in front of you that know nothing about you at all, its a fresh slate. I am a naturally shy person who typically will not just go up to anyone and try to start talking, so I enjoy being put into situations where its necessary to get to know people in order to enjoy what is going on around you.

I wish I could just pack up and move out to the coast and get into a school that is going to enable me to be where I want to be in my life ten years from now. But being a broke 19yr old makes that nearly impossible.


/end rant.
I don't care if anyone reads this, just needed to get things off my chest at nearly 3:30AM. I know if anyone does reply to this that they will give quality advice, which is why I LOVE this place even though I don't post to often,

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dont be so down on yourself man. i was in the same position as you for the past few months. the girl i was in love with was playing games with me and life in general seemed to be crashing down around me. what i made myself do was cut the dumb witch with a captial B off from contacing me, cut all ties completly. i was in the biggest rut in my life and didnt see how i could ever get out of it. the thing is you have to realize we as human beings are strong and life is a long bumpy road. we may be in the worst posible position ever, but we can manage to pull our selves out of it. it is all a mind set. you need to get yourself into that good perpective and stop looking at all the negatives. the things that helped pull me out of my hole were my family and a couple good old friends. im not completely to what i was before but getting damn near there! please dont dwell on things from the past :(

do me and yourself a favor, google COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY, and you will see that will help you flip this situation in the opposite direction.

you'll pull through my friend. and i'd like to know if theres anything i could do to help you out bro!!!!

If you think school is boring and you get no benefit out of it, then I would suggest taking time off of school at the moment (if you're out of high school that is). You can try doing a job that you really like, such as working at a reptile place if you like being with reptiles. I think it's better to have a job that you really like that doesn't pay as much as a job that you dislike that pays you well. But, that's just me. Though, in that reptile job you'll start at the bottom (cleaning cages, caring after small lizards and amphibians possibly) then as you do well you rise and are able to care after larger reptiles likes 6+ foot snakes and large lizards.

At my volunteer job I started out sorting greens and taking out anything the reptiles could not eat. Then, I had to feed those green eaters the greens I sorted out. After that I think I cared for baby tortoises. Now, I will sometimes care after the Beardies like feed them their protein and give them suppliements, but even better is now I like where I'm at. I fed Ball pythons one week and it was AWESOME. That's what I was wanting to do. I wanted to be able to interact with the pythons and snakes, and now I am. I started this job a few months ago, and now I'm at the point where I think it was well worth doing all the work in the beginning.

If you can, take off time from school. Start a job you like. Earn some money. And with money you saved up you can get in a better college where you can learn Zoology and Herpetology--the things you really do want to learn. Then when you are at the job you like you can meet new people that share the same interests that you do. Practically no one at my school is a huge fan of snakes like I am, so I have no one to talk to about my snakes. But on here I can start threads and post stuff about my snakes and meet people that share the same interest. I would also like to thank BP.net for getting me into breeding and morphs as well as helping me learn genetics--I knew the most about genetics in my entire science class just from learning about genetics on here.. You guys are great teachers!! Anyway, I hope you're seeing the point in my post.

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Originally Posted by Mike@OutbackReptiles

I was in a similar situation a while back.

I was 19 when I dropped out of "real" college, then eventually ended up dropping out of community college as well when my younger brother committed suicide. I was living in my parents' basement and working at Petsmart while my brain rotted. Sure I had friends, and I hung out with them pretty much every day, but life gets dull when all you do is smoke pot and drink cheap beer every night until you pass out next to the girl of the week, hoping a. that you didnt catch anything and b. that she didnt get pregnant.

It sounds to me like you are dealing with depression- I know because I deal with it too. You know you have responsibilities (school in your case), but you dont have the motivation to just suck it up and get it over with. Things that you used to enjoy just seem like they arent worth the effort anymore.

My advice is this: start doing more things you enjoy, find a job you enjoy, and take things one step at a time. You aren't going to wake up one day and get aphone call from a Marine Biologist asking for a personal assistant to join them on their boat while they study humpback whale migration patterns. For now- just find a job that you can enjoy (even minimally) to save up and eventually go to the "real" college where you can follow your dreams.

I thought my life was pointless a while back, but I just realized one day I was going the same direction as my younger brother. I turned it around- I got a job cleaning plastic bins all day at Outback, saved up enough money to move out, and found a girl I could stick with longer than a week. Stopped doing drugs, only drink about once or twice a month, and generally stopped with the self-destructive behavior I was engaging in. I still smoke, but I plan on quitting ( as i'm sure some people here know its not an easy task ).

I'm now paying the bills each month, I'm no longer a dishwasher monkey at work (higher responsibilities, higher pay), I still have my own house and I'm slowly saving up money to go back to school. I don't know what I'm going to study but like I said, take things one step at a time. There's no hurry to just suddenly get everything straight and lead a perfect TV sitcom life.

Sorry for the life story, but I feel like I can relate on a certain degree. What worked for me may not work for everyone, but I hope ito does- my "in a nutshell" advice is to just sit back, relax, and look at things systematically. Take things one step at a time and everything will fall into place.

Oh, and also- don't dwell on the past- I'm talking about your ex. She doesnt care about you and you shouldnt care about her with the way she treats you. Listen to the song "self esteem" by The Offspring ;)

Good luck with everything;
Mike Schultz

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I dropped out of Community College two semesters ago, and might as well of this past semester.
I am hoping that by taking some classes that I actually care about, mainly a 5credit hour General Zoology class will re-spark my interest. To get a taste of what I want to do with my life, and know that in semesters to come that I can look back on that class, see how much I enjoyed it and use that as motivation to grind out the classes that are of less interest to me.

Right now I am looking at applying for a job at a bowling alley, its something I enjoy and its money. Over the summer I plan on trying to see if I can do something at the local zoo. At this point and with no degree at this point I would be more than happy to start at the bottom and clean up after people everyday. It would be almost like getting paid to learn about things I am interested in.

Right now I am looking at finishing my general classes at the community college, the maths, english, psychology, ect and then going to a 4yr to take the degree specific classes and get a Bachelors in Zoology and depending on my experiences around here, potentially move somewhere where I could end up getting a job at an aquarium, zoo, or something like that where I would be able to also go back to school in the future and get a Marine Biology degree.

BTW, The Offspring is a great band, love the song and have heard it before, just never looked at it that way.

I just need to stop worrying about whats going to be happening now, and worry about where I what to be in a year from now...5yrs, 10yrs ect.

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Originally Posted by j_h_smith

Sure David, it's your story and I'm just a character.

Jim Smith

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I don't have a story yet, and I may never have one. Most people who have ever existed don't have a story. A rumor at best that is forgotten as quickly as it is told. So Jim, my friend, you aren't even a character yet. However I do value your opinion for what it is and I am truely appreciating our philisophically inspired conversation.

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Originally Posted by the_Ryno

I dropped out of Community College two semesters ago, and might as well of this past semester.
I am hoping that by taking some classes that I actually care about, mainly a 5credit hour General Zoology class will re-spark my interest. To get a taste of what I want to do with my life, and know that in semesters to come that I can look back on that class, see how much I enjoyed it and use that as motivation to grind out the classes that are of less interest to me.

Right now I am looking at applying for a job at a bowling alley, its something I enjoy and its money. Over the summer I plan on trying to see if I can do something at the local zoo. At this point and with no degree at this point I would be more than happy to start at the bottom and clean up after people everyday. It would be almost like getting paid to learn about things I am interested in.

Right now I am looking at finishing my general classes at the community college, the maths, english, psychology, ect and then going to a 4yr to take the degree specific classes and get a Bachelors in Zoology and depending on my experiences around here, potentially move somewhere where I could end up getting a job at an aquarium, zoo, or something like that where I would be able to also go back to school in the future and get a Marine Biology degree.

BTW, The Offspring is a great band, love the song and have heard it before, just never looked at it that way.

I just need to stop worrying about whats going to be happening now, and worry about where I what to be in a year from now...5yrs, 10yrs ect.

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Ryan,

Whether it was the advice in this thread or reality kicking you in the face... You sound a lot better. I hope that you want things to work out for you, because then they will.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by withonor

I can tell were not going to agree on this, now or probably 50 years from now (Not literally, figuratively), so I'll refrain from doing battle in someone elses thread.

I'd like to say two things not because I care for a response, but hopefully you can think about them with an open mind.

One, you made a lot of assumptions about me.

Two, "old people" speak, not with experience, but based on their experiences that are unique to them and created at times with unique circumstances. If you spend your time with people who all live life exactly like you do, you can say with experience, but a millionaire, a middle-class family and a lesbian couple all have different experiences with the same life events. Getting married, having kids and buying a house would be interpreted VERY differently by each of those groups. An "adult" with "life experience" in the U.S. can go live in Afghanistan and find that probably a lot of their "experience" doesn't do them any good.

The world is a big place and there is no "right" way to live in it.

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So have I made assumptions. And it's that your theme is "You don't realize how tough it is" and you seem ever ready to make excuses for disorder and mayhem.You defended rape during combat in another thread as an act that we should have sympathy for. Now you are telling a guy who counsels someone that " Your situation is not as bad as it seems" that he is bitter. Most people do not have their lives in order at the age of 19. I certainly didn't. It is actually tough to be that age. And like you I was in the military at that age from 1969-1972. I didn't quite have my life entirely straight at the age of 28 either but I was well on my way. I think that in your posts you are justifying your own problems. It looks to me as if you harbor the bitterness because you don't yet have your own life straight. But this is only my impression. More foolish "Old people speak." :twocents:

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Originally Posted by dsirkle

So have I made assumptions. And it's that your theme is "You don't realize how tough it is" and you seem ever ready to make excuses for disorder and mayhem.You defended rape during combat in another thread as an act that we should have sympathy for. Now you are telling a guy who counsels someone that " Your situation is not as bad as it seems" that he is bitter. Most people do not have their lives in order at the age of 19. I certainly didn't. It is actually tough to be that age. And like you I was in the military at that age from 1969-1972. I didn't quite have my life entirely straight at the age of 28 either but I was well on my way. I think that in your posts you are justifying your own problems. It looks to me as if you harbor the bitterness because you don't yet have your own life straight. But this is only my impression. More foolish "Old people speak." :twocents:

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Hi Dale,

I don't feel like I have any problems at this point (29), but that can change quickly, and I have absolutely nothing to be bitter about. I worked to get into the position I am in now where I have less responsibility than I did at 19. I knew exactly what the rules were along the way and I didn't do anything to change them which means I choose to live within them.

I cannot distantly compare a child/young man/woman who is living this war to the original poster. It is not representative or fair to those who are defending us.

I can definately see how your comments apply to what I have said in the past but I don't know that they are entirely on topic here. I do feel like Jim's comments dimished Ryans issues. That is an opinion and should be taken as such.


No disrespect intended.

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Originally Posted by withonor

I don't have a story yet, and I may never have one. Most people who have ever existed don't have a story. A rumor at best that is forgotten as quickly as it is told. So Jim, my friend, you aren't even a character yet. However I do value your opinion for what it is and I am truely appreciating our philisophically inspired conversation.

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I have to disagree with you on this (not shocking we disagree...typically do)!! I believe everyone has a story!! If you take the time to listen to them they ususally come with a lesson as well. I think the older the person...the better the stories and the more you can learn! You just have to STOP calling them old and realize that with age...comes wisdom.

real quick I got to say , in my opinion, wisdom comes from learning and not age. I know plenty of people , includeing my 56 year old father, whom keep making the same mistake over and over again. Anyway....

Im glad to hear things are better Rhino. I just turned 20 last month and I can honestly say I know how you feel/felt, for I am in the same position.I just hope that I possess the same resolve as you do and that I will be able to find a job I like and can creat a life worth living. Your story has given me a little hope, thank you.

Hmmm... Well the slight argument from some members represenataion of reality all have alot to agree with..

Firstly.. Its not always your choice as to what you do with your life. There is a such thing as being forced into a huge life decision or pretty much being trapped where you are. Cause & effect. No matter what your age. IE.. Certain things involving family will always take presidence over your own personal happiness. If it doesnt? You have no humanity in you. To allow others to suffer because of your decisions.. Even if this has never happened to you, it is possible and quite common.

Many people who never planned to have children or wives or whatever, will end up having this anyway. How many of you were not accidents?

So anyway...
I was broke at 19, but I was pretty happy. Disappointed at times with the path I had chosen. To not go to collage, but I was still happy. Definately free. Had a hard time paying rent more than once but somehow I always managed and I always had fun even though I had no extra money to spend.

The school thing sounds familier. I bet you always scored above average on the state tests you took every year in school. But school itself is a combination of boring, too competetive between classmates and really doesnt do much for some people.

Ex? She is doing what typical women who had something good, got used to it, got bored with it, realised the truth, but hates change and cant let go.. Do. Ive done it. I know alot of other women who have done it. Its normal.

The only way to really be sure how she feels, because right now even she doesnt know, IS to cut ties. She needs to have no contact with you at all. For at least a few months. If she moves on or her "feelings" fade, it wasnt real to begin with. Not real love anyway. Maybe a lesson in emotions. A great experience for both of you. But not one that was to stay.

If you dont cut ties she will continue to treat you like this until a "rebound" comes along and wooo's her away from you. That would be worse on you in the end. So just do it now.

Job? Do anything. Anything at all. Even fast food, hardware store, department store, gas station etc.. Doesnt matter. Just get something where you can escape yourself for awhile and focus on other people. Meanwhile look into things that revolve around what you really want to do. You can write letters, look for a sponser. Contact people in that area etc.. You need to be able to get from day to day by yourself (mentally, emotionally, financially) before you can let anyone else affect you in these areas. Dont get discouraged. You are young and you will make good and bad decisions but in the end there will always be something that will make your day worth it. Its usually the most trivial thing too. Hard to notice but it will be there.

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Originally Posted by BPelizabeth

I have to disagree with you on this (not shocking we disagree...typically do)!! I believe everyone has a story!! If you take the time to listen to them they ususally come with a lesson as well. I think the older the person...the better the stories and the more you can learn! You just have to STOP calling them old and realize that with age...comes wisdom.

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When you take what I said very literally and in the present, of course we can all -tell- a story. Tell me the story of your great great grandparents, and your great great great grandparents... Keep going back and you'll find that the rumor is eventually forgotten.

The stories we tell don't get better they evolve and become more rehearsed. What we remember that happened yesterday is already different than what actually happened. Compound those errors over the years and we fill in the blanks around the main points so of course the "story" will be better.

I think the child who says whatever is on their mind and asks the man who lost his legs in Vietnam, "What happened to your legs?" has a lot more "wisdom" than the "adult" who has their mind set before they walk out the door in the morning because they are still asking questions.

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Originally Posted by Foschi Exotic Serpents

The school thing sounds familier. I bet you always scored above average on the state tests you took every year in school. But school itself is a combination of boring, too competetive between classmates and really doesnt do much for some people.

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Very true, I was great on all those standardized these that you have to take while in school. But when it came to the actually course work, I didn't put in as much effort as I should of and nearly didn't graduate high school because I started to give up. I only cared about classes that had some meaning to me, such as a marine biology class or any science class for that matter.

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Originally Posted by withonor

Ryan,

Whether it was the advice in this thread or reality kicking you in the face... You sound a lot better. I hope that you want things to work out for you, because then they will.

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I would say both. Mikes post was a big help, along with the others that said things. To know that I am not alone and not the only one that is/has gone through something like this, and that others came out fine in the long run.

I know that I want to do big things in my life and have big goals. So I need to stop looking around and seeing how bad things are now, when really they could be worse, and look towards the future and start working towards my goals and get on with life.

Im not much older than you but i can tell you from experience life isnt always the greatest. Ive gone through a lot in my life, had 3 close friends pass away this year and pretty much cut most of the people off in my life. Dont sweat the girl man. I speak from experience. I should have just packed my stuff and left but didnt and got dragged along for some of the worst and most low times to my life. I havent always done the right thing and it had caught up with me. All i can say is keep your head up because there are a ton of people out there who have never been able to experience most of the stuff you have. Before you can be back at the top you have to hit bottom. Stay positive and work your ass off. Because in the end it will all pay off. Theres a ton of things that have happened to me this year that i wont discuss on here but trust me things get better. Surround yourself with good people and do what you have to do.