So, are my requirements too hard/high?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 11 years. I am not into all of his hobbies and he is not into some of mine either. Finding that someone special will happen when you least expect it. It is not all about physical attraction either. I find intelligence, compassion, and a sense of humor very sexy in a man. I love my boyfriend and he loves me and we respect each other. He is not fond of snakes and I am not fond of his boat but we compromise and it works out great. So, don't go looking so long and hard for the "right" girl, because she will appear in your life when you least expect it.

If you were looking for a guy with those requirements, then it'd be pretty easy, but girls like that are fewer and farther between. They do exist though, and are typically looking for guys who share in their interests, so just keep going to expos and stuff and you may meet one. You're more likely to find a girl that is tolerant of snakes, than into them though, or an animal lover who is more into fuzzy things but has nothing against snakes.

My husband isn't into herps at all, he's kind of afraid of them...not like they might bite, but he says he's scared to hurt them (maybe that's just an excuse lol). He did hold my BP last night for the first time though (I got her a month ago), so maybe he's coming around.

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Yea I don't mind converting but my ex when I first got into the snake hobby said to choose them or her, needless to say I have my snakes still to this day.

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I could see this being a problem if you ever decide to get any very large breed snakes that might pose a perceived risk to children. I don't know how old you are, but if you become serious with someone (even if she is into snakes) and she starts thinking along the lines of starting a family, you very well may get an ultimatum.

I hate to use a cliche, but relationships really are about compromise. I had never once even thought about buying a gun, but hubby likes them and it makes shopping for presents really easy (you can never have too many he says :rolleyes:). And despite my initial aversion to firearms, I love antiques, so he got me on board with a WWI Enfield (I fired it once, it hurt, so I just look at it and admire the patina on the stock), and now I love trap shooting. He'd never had dogs before, and despite claiming they're expensive and obnoxious, when he's away he talks to "his little boy" on Skype (and yes the dog sits and stares back at him, super cute).

The point is this, if you really care for someone you want them to be happy, even when you don't understand why certain things work for them. And if someone really cares for you, they'll want you to be happy too. So maybe your points are too specific at this point in time, but a girl who cares for you will make an effort to understand your hobbies, and if your lucky she'll eventually like them too.

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Originally Posted by Shera

If you were looking for a guy with those requirements, then it'd be pretty easy, but girls like that are fewer and farther between. They do exist though, and are typically looking for guys who share in their interests, so just keep going to expos and stuff and you may meet one. You're more likely to find a girl that is tolerant of snakes, than into them though, or an animal lover who is more into fuzzy things but has nothing against snakes.

My husband isn't into herps at all, he's kind of afraid of them...not like they might bite, but he says he's scared to hurt them (maybe that's just an excuse lol). He did hold my BP last night for the first time though (I got her a month ago), so maybe he's coming around.





I could see this being a problem if you ever decide to get any very large breed snakes that might pose a perceived risk to children. I don't know how old you are, but if you become serious with someone (even if she is into snakes) and she starts thinking along the lines of starting a family, you very well may get an ultimatum.

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I keep Rufous Beaked and Ball Pythons. The RB are rear fanged venomous but are probably among the most docile snakes. Everybody I know that has them says they've never attempted to bite or strike out of aggression.

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Originally Posted by Badgemash

I hate to use a cliche, but relationships really are about compromise. I had never once even thought about buying a gun, but hubby likes them and it makes shopping for presents really easy (you can never have too many he says :rolleyes:). And despite my initial aversion to firearms, I love antiques, so he got me on board with a WWI Enfield (I fired it once, it hurt, so I just look at it and admire the patina on the stock), and now I love trap shooting. He'd never had dogs before, and despite claiming they're expensive and obnoxious, when he's away he talks to "his little boy" on Skype (and yes the dog sits and stares back at him, super cute).

The point is this, if you really care for someone you want them to be happy, even when you don't understand why certain things work for them. And if someone really cares for you, they'll want you to be happy too. So maybe your points are too specific at this point in time, but a girl who cares for you will make an effort to understand your hobbies, and if your lucky she'll eventually like them too.

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Yea, somethings can be negotiated, but those two things aren't. The gaming maybe could be but something would have to seriously replace my time, but the snakes aren't going anywhere period, that will not happen. I agree that changes for the better are always good, but getting rid of snakes isn't changing for the better.

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

Yea, i think your requirements are too specific. Don't look for a chick into the same stuff as you, just look for a chick that supports your interests.

For example...
I don't like horses at all. I think they're awful creatures. But if found a chick i liked who was willing to put up with my quirks and support my interests, you can bet your ass i'd be in the backyard building a barn of biblical proportions hahaha ;)

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As a fellow horse addict and owner my thought on this is "Good man." Just realize horses are just as expensive as buying snakes all the time. :p especially if she likes to show. ;)

That's actually a pretty tame list. I've seen much longer and more rigid lists for potentials spouses. Actually I think that's not enough personally.

My only input is that you really sit down and think about what your must haves are. And when you do, don't compromise. Don't settle.

I remember my list was something like:

• Must be a Christian
• Must be non-smoker
• Must not be a drinker
• Must want children
• Must be in reasonable age range
• Must not be morbidly obese or anorexic
• Must enjoy at least some of the same movies. TV shows, music ect.

Then I had a "Nice TO Haves" list which was too long to remember. :)

I know people that settled. They are all divorced.

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Originally Posted by Marrissa

As a fellow horse addict and owner my thought on this is "Good man." Just realize horses are just as expensive as buying snakes all the time. :p especially if she likes to show. ;)

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Thats why separate hobbies are good. She can be on the long ass wait list for a clydesdale while i'm on the wait list for a GHI Clown Hypo Fire Cinny... Hehehe ;)

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Originally Posted by MasonC2K

That's actually a pretty tame list. I've seen much longer and more rigid lists for potentials spouses. Actually I think that's not enough personally.

My only input is that you really sit down and think about what your must haves are. And when you do, don't compromise. Don't settle.

I remember my list was something like:

• Must be a Christian
• Must be non-smoker
• Must not be a drinker
• Must want children
• Must be in reasonable age range
• Must not be morbidly obese or anorexic
• Must enjoy at least some of the same movies. TV shows, music ect.

Then I had a "Nice TO Haves" list which was too long to remember. :)

I know people that settled. They are all divorced.

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Who wouldn't want mason's babies??? :D

I agree with a lot of the posts here. I especially like Masonc2k's list and was looking for similar things myself when I happened to meet my husband.

I'd just like to echo that having all the same interests is not integral... I think looking at the person's lifestyle and personality is much more important. i.e....what if you find a chick that likes snakes, but loves to bar hop / party all the time and you're more of a book and a comfy chair type... or she's very social and wants people over all the time and you don't. Some things can be compromised on, but some things like general personality won't change.

I used to be BIG into fish and freshwater aquaria when I was in college. There are not many women that are into fish, so I was definitely in the minority. Looking back, I'm glad I didn't just seek out another fishgeek who might not have been compatible with me in other ways.

My husband wasn't into any form of pets when we met, but now loves my cat and really enjoys the snakes. He'll never be super into them (as in having lots of racks, breeding, etc.), but that's an area we'll have to compromise on.

However, I will say that I was upfront with him and told him I had a cat and geckos when we met...If he had issues with either at the beginning it might not have worked out.

Good luck!
Artgecko

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Originally Posted by MasonC2K

That's actually a pretty tame list. I've seen much longer and more rigid lists for potentials spouses. Actually I think that's not enough personally.

My only input is that you really sit down and think about what your must haves are. And when you do, don't compromise. Don't settle.

I remember my list was something like:

• Must be a Christian
• Must be non-smoker
• Must not be a drinker
• Must want children
• Must be in reasonable age range
• Must not be morbidly obese or anorexic
• Must enjoy at least some of the same movies. TV shows, music ect.

Then I had a "Nice TO Haves" list which was too long to remember. :)

I know people that settled. They are all divorced.

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Hey I can make a list like that, lol. Lets see....

-Prefer non-smoker but it's okay as long as they don't try to smoke in the same vehicle or smoke in the house.
-I don't mind drinking just as long as it's not like every single day and I mean getting hammered or going out partying. I'm not the party type because I don't like being around drunk people because of the way they act.
-I'd like to have at least one child
-Yea I don't want somebody 7 years older than me, so while I'm 28, say 33ish is my max.
-Morbidly obese or anorexic comes with being attractive to me. Though I don't mind a tattoo'd girl :P
-Liking same movies is nice, but at least must be able to sit and watch a movie or so and enjoy something similar.
-I don't care about religion as long as they don't push it on me.

I mean I have other specifics but those can be worked out, the main thing to me is somebody that I have something in common with because I'd rather my other person to be my best friend as well as my girlfriend/fiancé/lover/wife whatever title comes first.