The Boy Friend or Snakes ???

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by DrDooLittle

BTW, animals love unconditionally!!!!

---

My snakes don't love me...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by dart

It's definitely easier to accept jobs, school and children over accepting a hobby. Just because you're passionate about something doesn't mean it's right to ignore someone you care about. I used to play video games and hockey a lot more than I spent time with my now fiance. Just because I was passionate about it, doesn't mean it was right. I realized my mistakes and changed. Now we are engaged and have a beautiful baby.

Before you go spouting advice that could potentially ruin a relationship, maybe you should think that there are always two sides to every story. Not to mention, how you feel towards your hobby and your relationships may not reflect how she feels towards hers. Saying things such as "get over it or take a hike" is ridiculously bull-headed and selfish. That's a response that doesn't even CONSIDER the other persons feelings. :colbert:

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by dart

You're right. I'm actually 13 years old, I played video games for 16 hours a day and played hockey for 12 mins once a week. Next time, maybe you should try to open your mind before your mouth. How narrow minded can you be to assume I have no clue what I'm talking about? I'm one of the few people in this thread not telling the OP to kick him to the curb. Some of us are trying to explain to her to contemplate her situation and make the call herself. The correct decision is the one she makes on her own. The one she FEELS is right. Not the one that people with chips on their shoulders from past experiences tell her to make.

---

anyone else notice this? LOL

And to op: any man that comes into my life knows that if I was to choose between him and my animals, he'd be out the door ;)

They were here first. And you never know, your pets may last longer than that relationship.

If a man can't accept my passion for animals, he won't be able to fully love me for me. My animals Are a big part of my life.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bobbafett

anyone else notice this? LOL

---

Probably sarcasm.

Regardless, I think there's more to this than is being told. If the guy has been with her for four years, and is only now complaining, I think there's something else going on. Frankly, I second the idea that maybe he's feeling neglected.

Sorry, no discussion. I am a reptile keeper. Either accept that or walk. As Popeye said, I yam what I yam.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raptor

Probably sarcasm.

Regardless, I think there's more to this than is being told. If the guy has been with her for four years, and is only now complaining, I think there's something else going on. Frankly, I second the idea that maybe he's feeling neglected.

---

It's entirely possible that there is something else going on.

Perhaps the boyfriend has started seeing someone else or wants to start seeing someone else but wants the OP to break up with him and is using the snakes as an excuse to cause that to happen.

The thing about speculating is, you're just guessing.

A lot of people with a lot of experience with this exact scenario have given her advice and some with almost no experience with this exact scenario have piped up too.

Whatever she does is for her to decide and her friends and hopefully family, to support.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Snakebite

What a joke this guy I have been seeing for the last 4 years does not like snakes.... I belive he puts up with them cause he realy does love me. Well today he told me I spend to much time with my snakes and my rodents..... Last straw my animals come first, I am a care giver and realy enjoy what I do. My snakes come first so I am a cold person or ???.... Just wanting to know it any one else ever has come across this?

---

I guess I'm having a hard time figuring out just how much time you are spending with your snakes and rats.

I got a wife. I got two kids. I got two dogs. I got two cats.

I have a separate structure in my backyard filled with snakes.

I also have a full time job which can run from 44 to 60 hours per week.

I also own a house which requires maintenance.

I'm thinking something else is afoot. Or maybe is it something else is a foot?

Whatever............I don't think this is an issue about your reptiles at all.

I might not have a lot experience in love as others on here. But I do hope my two cents will be helpful.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years. Throughout these years, we have had some major disagreements. We fought, we yelled, and I cried. One of those things I didn't agree with was his snake hobby. I hated it, was fearful of them, and felt neglected by him. He saw this. But instead of telling me to "scram" or giving up his hobby, he educated me on ball pythons and boas. He went on about the origins, husbandry, breeding, genetics behind different morphs. Major breakthrough when he handed me his little Mojave. That fear dissipated. I learned to appreciate and accept. Next thing you know, I got my own snake at a reptile show.

If you love your boyfriend and he feels that he needs attention, include him in it all. Teach him the ropes. Maybe it will just take a while for him to accept. It did for me! Work on it together and maybe... just maybe... he will herpaderp on you too LOL

Good luck! :-)

Sent from my Galaxy S III using Tapatalk2

Collection (for now buahaha)
0.1 Cinnamon Spider

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Snakebite

What a joke this guy I have been seeing for the last 4 years does not like snakes.... I belive he puts up with them cause he realy does love me. Well today he told me I spend to much time with my snakes and my rodents..... Last straw my animals come first, I am a care giver and realy enjoy what I do. My snakes come first so I am a cold person or ???.... Just wanting to know it any one else ever has come across this?

---

i had that problem,
was with the EX-WIFE!!!!:banana:

I'll chime in here, and maybe be a voice of reason AND experience. :P I've been around a long time. I've been married a long time. I've had snakes for almost a long time.

I will start with this caveat...my husband came before any snakes or reptiles. When we got married, all I wanted was a kitty cat. We ended up with two. And now we can't have any (due to weird complications with his military career). I love cats SO much. But I can't have them if I stay married to him. And I'll tell you this...I can NOT imagine any life in which I would choose a cat (or any animal) over this husband.

He also really doesn't like the snakes I have. But over the years, through a variety of those sorts of circumstances that change us and grow us...I've discovered the passion I have for reptiles...snakes and tortoises in particular, but really just about anything. I love animals, and I've devoted a tremendous amount of my time, energy and efforts into helping people learn how to take care of them properly. He realizes this is a real passion for me, and the desire to own some of my own is more than just a childish "want". It's taken a LOT of work and effort and COMMUNICATION between the two of us...and COMPROMISE...for us to reach a place in our relationship where I can have a few animals without making his life any more stressful and unpleasant than his very demanding job already makes it. It was WORTH it to me to work on that and build that into our relationship and reach that compromise with him. And it's a still-growing process, and we are ever working on balancing my needs for more critters with his need for a peaceful, quiet, odor-free home. :P But he's also proud of me. Proud of all I've accomplished here at BP.net, proud of my work at TRR. He even enjoys being the man with the wife who keeps snakes, and doesn't hesitate to share that little tidbit with his peers.

Is it worth the effort to reach this compromise? Hell yes. Because I love and respect myself enough to understand that my own needs should be met...AND I love him beyond measure and want HIS needs to be met as well.

My summation: If you can't love a person deeply and widely enough to be concerned about THEIR needs and hold their needs in equal measure with your own, then maybe they aren't the right person for you. How sad to go through life with a "significant other" that falls below the animals on a scale of priorities. Where things are in YOUR life, only you can know.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by wilomn

It's entirely possible that there is something else going on.

Perhaps the boyfriend has started seeing someone else or wants to start seeing someone else but wants the OP to break up with him and is using the snakes as an excuse to cause that to happen.

The thing about speculating is, you're just guessing.

A lot of people with a lot of experience with this exact scenario have given her advice and some with almost no experience with this exact scenario have piped up too.

Whatever she does is for her to decide and her friends and hopefully family, to support.

---

Everyone here is speculating. We only know half of what is going on; we don't know his reasons at all. Considering this is a snake forum, of course the majority are going to say "ditch the boyfriend, keep the snakes". Snakes don't take a huge amount of time to care for unless the collection is massive. In which case, the boyfriend would have a legit complaint. Honestly? Instead of coming onto a forum and complain, she should sit down with him and ask his reasoning for why he thinks she spends too much time with her snakes.