Military with children?

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Originally Posted by tcutting

Nope

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Just wondering what experince you base your opinion on.

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Originally Posted by RyanT

Joining the military should be your absolute last resort...not even an option, really. Don't get caught up in the empty promises of what they'll give you. If you're willing to invest the time and effort, put it into furthering your education while you continuously search for a better job. Of course it's hard, especially these days, but it CAN be done. There ARE options out there, you just have to find them with patience and a little luck on your side. Don't give up on YOUR life by handing it over to the military.

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Furthering education, being a single parent, finding a new job, and keeping even a crappy one (all at the same time), don't tend to work well together. In a very real sense, LGray is looking for a better job by exploring military options. On top of that, she is looking at "companies" that pay for you to further your education, even if that means committing a certain timeline to them. There are not many companies in our current economy that still have a tuition program - mine just discontinued theirs, for example, and it's one of the largest privately held companies in the world. The key is to get any promises in writing, because it is definitely the job of the recruiters to get you enrolled, and not all of them are as ethical as you may want to believe (again, not really different from a non-government job).

And if it were my son, you'd never see me waiting for "a little luck" to be on my side - it would be contracted and signed before I set foot in the building, any building.

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Originally Posted by Slim

tcutting,

Have you ever been in the military?

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ok now that I read your entire post, originally it seems it worked out for you well. But here is a question, from what i read it seems safe to assume you were/are married and while you were deployed your wife had the kids? is that correct?

and just because I havent done it doesnt mean I didnt make a valid point. Just because it worked for you doesnt make it the right choice for everyone. I simply suggest that it is thoroughly thought out and I didnt say dont do it. Plus this post requested opinions. and that is simply my opinion whether you agree or not, its still my opinion.

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Originally Posted by RyanT

Dude, give it a rest. It's obvious from your responses that being a sheep suckling on the government's teet like a good little mindless drone makes you feel very safe and secure. Enjoy that. You're exactly what they want and I'm sure they love you very very much. So adorable.

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Wow, thank you for that well though out contribution to the discussion. I have no doubt that your opinion will be given all the weight it deserves.

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Originally Posted by tcutting

ok now that I read your entire post, originally it seems it worked out for you well. But here is a question, from what i read it seems safe to assume you were/are married and while you were deployed your wife had the kids? is that correct?

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I was married to another military member. More than once we were deployed at the same time. The military requires you to have a dependent care plan in place for such contingencies. We had a good dependent care plan.

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Originally Posted by tcutting

and just because I havent done it doesnt mean I didnt make a valid point. Just because it worked for you doesnt make it the right choice for everyone. I simply suggest that it is thoroughly thought out and I didnt say dont do it. Plus this post requested opinions. and that is simply my opinion whether you agree or not, its still my opinion.

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Show me where I slammed on your opinion? I simply asked what the basis for it was.

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Originally Posted by tcutting

I didnt say dont do it.

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No, technically, you didn't

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Originally Posted by tcutting

I think that it should be a LAST resort.

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:rolleyes:

I am a single mom with a GED, I work more than full time 50+ hours/week as a police, fire, and EMS dispatcher. How exactly do you expect me to find a better job than the one I have now? And I've mentioned that I can't go to school because 1) it's too expensive and 2) I can't turn down overtime to go to a class. I've tried it, and it doesn't work. I missed out on too much overtime and almost missed paying my bills.

The military is the better job. The school allowance will be more than enough to take online classes, full time, AND work my job. I think a lot of people are thinking that I'm thinking active duty, but I'm not. I will ONLY be considering a reserves of some sort. That's one weekend a month and 2-4 weeks in the summer. Basic training for the Army is 10 weeks, job training is immediately after anywhere between 2-6 months. After that the only other service I give is if I get activated, which I've taken into consideration.

I barely see my son now, I work so dang much. We get by, but barely. I really truly want a better life for him, for us. I'm not leaving him with no one to turn to, my family is more than willing to take on as guardians and will take VERY good care of him when I am away. Hell, they have him practically all the time now because I work so much. I was just curious from military people's perspectives, the affect on their kids if they have been deployed.

Todd, I guarantee I make too much money for ANY government grants. Trust me, I have been looking into them for YEARS now. I make really good money on paper, until you see my bills. The government and grants don't look at your bills, only what you make. Even then, I can't physically go to school right now because I need the overtime.

I just wanted some reassurance that Jacob will be okay with my very loving caring family if I am activated. It will be hard, on both of us, but I'm looking at the future and how sacrificing some time with him NOW will affect the future. I only need to sign up for 6 years, if it's too hard then I can always discharge after my term is up. I really didn't want to start a pissing contest, but to be honest I was really mainly looking for military families' experiences. I come from a military family, and have multiple family members with kids that serve, but I came here to get a little more guidance. Being a single mom changes everything. I am stuck. I have looked at alternatives, for years. I can't budge.

(P.s. this response isn't harsh or anything, I just think there were a few more details I needed to stress before any more further advice....)

LGray23, it seems like you have been doing your due diligence with research and weighing your options. Good on you, as a lot of folks do not do that. I would imagine that in the end your boy will be appreciative that he gets to grow up with the resources to be successful.


For those blindly bashing or dismissing the military, it seems you are enjoying your freedom with little respect for those who provide it. In that case, I hope you are doing something else for the greater good to earn the title citizen.

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Originally Posted by Slim

Show me where I slammed on your opinion? I simply asked what the basis for it was.

No, technically, you didn't

:rolleyes:

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just to point out when you ask two people in a row whether they served or not, it is condescending. if it was meant merely as a way to understand my perspective a bit more then thats fine and sorry for being defensive.

additionally I was unaware of the dependent care plan that they have. I must ask what are these like? what do they consist of?

Could be extremely valuable info to share.

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Originally Posted by LGray23

Todd, I guarantee I make too much money for ANY government grants. Trust me, I have been looking into them for YEARS now. I make really good money on paper, until you see my bills. The government and grants don't look at your bills, only what you make. Even then, I can't physically go to school right now because I need the overtime.

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Ok sounds like you looked into it. I did see where you mentioned that you would be working and taking online classes. my question (and again allow me to play devil’s advocate) would be is the Job Full-time while you are taking the online courses? and would that present a problem for you?

Like i said I only ask the questions I would hope my friends would ask me if I came to them for advice. and I am not saying don't do it. For me personally, it wasn't the best option. but that is due to the unique dynamic of my situation where yours may allow it far easier and be much more beneficial.

either way I wish you luck.