Please help. :(

I told her no kids....if we are still together when we are put of college and have good jobs okay. But she can't handle herself let alone a child.

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Originally Posted by LGray23

Especially if she's not willing to change and find proper help.

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Exactly. It's up to her whether she works with the psychiatrist or not. She doesn't sound willing to change at all and if she's not willing to change, move on.

The parents created this, I'm sorry to say, when she went through her seperation issues in K, the parents did the worst thing possible by keeping her home.
I'm sure she is used to getting her way, and if not I'm sure she throws a tantrum like a 2 year old.

This behavior is learned, and she has had years to perfect it, again, all the parents fault.

You need to set boundaries/rules with her, and stick to them, once she sees that her child like rants aren't getting her anywhere, it will ease up and over time hopefully will stop.

(This is to be taken as a joke, but also the possibility of the future)

Don't worry, she will be a stay at home mom with the giant house and everything she has ever wanted and you will be forced to work. For. The. Rest. Of. Your. Life.

I understand she has been diagnosed. But, she just sounds like a very immature, spoiled, needy, insecure high school girl who needs to face the facts about the demands of life BEFORE she gets tied down with someone who she assumes is going to provide everything for her like she is accustomed to.

I HOPE that if I acted like that, my parents, my best friend, and my fiance would tell me to go get my act together and then come talk to them when I can be a reasonable adult.

She will scream and freak out because she never learned that just because something bad happened TODAY, doesn't mean that it will go on FOREVER.

Okay, you're not going to like this, but here's my 2 cents. I do have a background in the field but I am NOT a doctor and I am not a licensed professional. That being said, here it goes.

You are in a co-dependent relationship. Your mood depends on her, and her mood depends on you. It is unhealthy and very, very, dangerous. Things need to be broken off for the time being. After you've separated, you can each work on your mental illnesses by yourselves without having the other put you in danger of regressing. Once you've each improved mentally, you can revisit the relationship.

I told you it wasn't pretty, but there it is. I wish you the absolute best luck. Mental illness is a daily struggle.

I used to be a lot like your girlfriend. I had severe anxiety issues when I was married and had children and was very immature at the time. I hated to be alone and I would stop at nothing until someone would stay with me. My behavior ended up in a bitter divorce and with two very unhappy little girls. Fast forward to now, I am on the right medication and seeing a psychiatrist. I have a whole new life with a wonderful boyfriend and two daughters. Let me tell you this though, I had to literally fall flat on my butt to learn to not be so needy. I ended up in an institution for six months and all I did was sleep when I was there. I needed a strong reality check to get my mind right and just get on with my life. She can be helped, but she has to WANT to be helped. I am afraid that if she keeps going on the way she is, she will never get better, and you really need to keep this in mind if you are planning on having a future with this person.

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Originally Posted by kevinb

and I can't ever say anything about me not seeong her go far because she would freak out and scream at me. I seriously think she is in denial of her real problems.

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Total me me me bratty behavior.


My son has been with his fiance for 3 years, she went to NY for 10 days,nad he went a lil nuts, calling her constantly etc. I got wind of it, and had a talk with him, I explained to him that they hadve both had their heads up each others butts for 3 yrs. and that when she came back from NY, they both needed to find outside activities, to do seperately. He agreed, he now plays on a pool league twice a week, and she uses those nights to due stuff with her gf's.

After reading previous posts about the sister and kids. I know you love her but... RUN MAN RUN!

If I would have just stuck it out with the guy I figured I would marry and spend the rest of my life with despite the "normal" ups and downs. I probably would be in jail for killing him (JOKE) in 10 years.

The "Normal" ups and downs are not suppose to happen when you are dating and really REALLY don't have anything to fight about. You are suppose to have ups and downs when you have bills, and children, and car payments, and mortgages.

My fiance have been in one argument in the past year and a half and it ended in "I'm sorry honey, were too good to fight about this. I was wrong."

A small note. Her sayong she wants to marry me and have kids she meant later not now just so we are clear. And yes she was given her way, mainly because her mom didn't know how to act about it. Also a little tid bit, her father is/was not really sure anymore a drug addict. That made things hard for her also, her mom is now about $30,000 in debt because her dad.would spend all their money on drugs. I do love her more than anything, its just she becomes to much for even me.

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I have thought about having a break from it all, but last time I tried that she grabed a razor and starting cutting her self and saying she would kill herself if I left. That's not why I'm with her. I'm with her because she undersrands me and loves me for me and I love her too. But it really scares me of the what ifs.

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