Please help. :(

[llovelace]

I don't want to sound harsh, and please don't take this the wrong way, but from what I have read, her parents have enabled her for so many years and have probably done her more harm than good, letting someone with depression sleep 14-16 hours a day is not healthy, she would do well to have a schedule, and not be able to blow it off cause she doesn't feel like it.
See if there are any places that she could volunteer at 2 days a week, as a senior I believe it is required for graduation.
Check the volunteer programs at the hospital, she may like doing activities in a pediatric ward.

[aldebono]

When I started my full time job (M-F 8am-5pm), I too thought that it was the end of all things I had ever known. I was tired, I couldn't stay awake past 10, I was skipping weekend activities because I couldn't stay awake long enough to enjoy them! I had gotten use to sleeping in till whenever and I was sure that the waking up early every day was going to be the end of all good things.

Fast forward 6 months later. I have gotten use to it. It is a major shock to your body when you change or do not keep the same sleep schedule. I know she is dealing with more but the feeling that your body will never be normal again due to a sleep schedule change will pass.

In short. YES it SUCKS!!! But, you get use to it. Especially when you have bills to pay and groceries to buy. I am sure others can vouch for that.

[kevinb]

Yes they did enable her. But they realize it now and try to get her up at 9 on weekends and do things. But she refuses and will scream and yell at everyone. There really isn't any reasoning with her. Ever.

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[aldebono]

Well, not to be mean, but she is going to have a MAJOR awakening when she has to live in the real world.

[llovelace]

I feel for you Kevin, is she an only child by any chance?

[HighVoltageRoyals]

Just my 2 cents but I really liked Tzeentch when they say that she needs to occupy her time. I have separation anxiety with my bf (he went on a 2 week trip to Tahoe and left me alone at the apartment) and I didn't know what to do with myself for the first couple of days. The reception he got out there was terrible to the point where I was lucky if I got a phone call from him during the day (and I'll be honest, I call him a lot when he's not around). I cried, I couldn't sleep and I found myself doing really weird things (cleaning EVERYTHING, sleeping on the couch, neglecting friend relationships, etc.).

But once I actually found things to do that didn't involve him and started branching out again, I found that I wasn't so anxious about him not being there with me. Granted I still had strong feelings rise up in me from time to time but I found that with time, it got a little easier. I started getting back into my art and other hobbies that I put on the backburner since I got into the relationship (going on 4 years in March). He'll be leaving again for 1 week in the beginning of October and though I'm not entirely thrilled about it, I think I've found things that work for me and my separation issues.

I don't know though. Sounds like her's is a little worse than mine but you might want to consider the long term of this thing. You can't be sculpting your whole life around a person's wants and needs. You're your own person and if you really plan on pursuing a career in the medical field, she needs to accept the fact that you're not going to be around 24/7 no matter how hard that might be for her. It's really something that you need to sit down and think about as to whether this relationship will work long term if she can't cope with you being gone for a couple of hours.

Sorry for the brick of text so early in the morning and I'm no Dr., but speaking as someone with a pretty healthy amount of separation anxiety, I don't know if this is going to work out (especially considering both of your histories and future goals) but that's obviously not for me to decide. Sorry if I cause any hurt feelings. I 'm just being honest.

[kevinb]

I agree with everyone on here 100%. She goes on nd on about how she wants a place of our own and to get married and have kids etc, etc. But I think daily, how the hell is any of that going to happen when she can't handle being away from me for more than 12 hours, how is she going to go to college if she can't go to high school, how will she keep a job when she can't work 2 days a week 3-4 hours a day and not want to work anymore. I mean yeah I absolutely hate working. I love where I work, but hate doing it everyday. I work an upwards to 20 hours a weekend, how crappy hours, and just in general would rather chill home. But I know I can't. I know if I am ever going to make something of myself than I have to do it. Its not a choice. I'm 19 but have bills already because my parents dropped me from everything once I turned 18. That means car insurance, cell phone, if I had health insurance there would be that too. Plus my mom makes me pay her to live at my house now. I have about $400 worth of bills a month, not as bad as it could be but still. and I can't ever say anything about me not seeong her go far because she would freak out and scream at me. I seriously think she is in denial of her real problems.

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[kevinb]

And no llovelace she isn't. She has a 21 year old sister, who still lives at home, parties all weekend, complains when she has to do anything, and in general is just a spoiled.

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[Skittles1101]

I'm just saying this as a spiteful ex wife..........coming from someone who's only 23 and divorced....


If there's something that bothers you now (aka calling you crying while your at work)...multiply that by 100 and that's what it's going to feel like in 10 years. I was married for over 4 years...and little things that bothered me just got worse and worse and worse. Especially if she's not willing to change and find proper help.

[HighVoltageRoyals]

She goes on nd on about how she wants a place of our own and to get married and have kids etc, etc.

WOW WOW WOW BACK THE TRUCK UP. NO NO AND HELL NO. You guys are still VERY young and with her unstable behavior I would just like to say, don't ruin the rest of your life. She acts like a kid and she...wants a kid? LOL NOPE.