So you shared your face with us, but what makes you YOU?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by hilabeans

Well that just sucks. Sadly, not everyone is made for motherhood and you do yourself a favor by cutting her out of your life if she causes you pain. I have an incredible mom and I know I'm lucky. My kiddo will be just fine, she's learning the skills now to deal with her brain chemistry. We don't ignore anything and she gets tons of support. She has art, animals, friends, family, and my full support.

And you take care of yourself!!! Hopefully that boyfriend of yours is your own version of dakski's Katie. We all need a Katie in our lives.

---

My mother had a very rough childhood herself from what little I know of it, but her mothering contained such features as hours of screaming about how worthless I was after I confessed suicidal ideation with a specific plan and access to relevant materials followed by loss of my "privilege" to close the bathroom door, calling me fat until I cried at the height of my anorexia when I was clinically underweight and other mothers were starting to comment (unfortunately I've currently swung too far in the other direction weight-wise and it's a long process working my way back down without relapsing into unhealthy behaviors), and yelling at me about how I should just give up and work at Mcdonald's while making me re-write my ivy league application essays (I'm inclined to think this sabotaged me on those ones). I would have stopped speaking to her long ago if the cost of it hadn't been being unable to speak to my father as well. That's only changed in the last few weeks, so I unfortunately had to stop speaking to him for the better part of a year. The right support really makes all the difference and it's great you're able to provide that for your kid!

I don't know if my boyfriend is a Katie or not, but he certainly has his shining moments. He's having a rough time right now because he's less than a month away from finishing his Ph.d., is from a country that isn't doing too well politically, and his father has age-related health issues. But he came and stood with me for hours waiting for the tow truck when my car broke down recently, shows me puppy videos like husky puppies hanging out in a fridge when I'm having a bad day, and will come along and tell my therapist for me if I'm becoming unhealthily obsessed with weight loss, or re-organizing everything, or whatever if I won't tell her myself.

Wow, Tttaylorrr,

You are a fighter as well. It is amazing how many parallels there are with people in this hobby and on those forums. You persevered through the hard times, never giving up.
You also seem to be a very honest person. That is so important to me. If there is something I do not like, it is fake people. Life is to short for those games.
I can also curse with the best of them, LOL. In my case it is easy to do, because its not in my birth language. If I would curse really bad words in MY language, I would almost expect my mothers hand connecting with the back of my head, haha.
But cursing in English? Well, that is easy! And sometimes, when something goes wrong, it helps ;)
What kind of beer do you like ? I love dark brews, or at least not light beer. Can't stand it..

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by tttaylorrr

i curse. kinda a lot. i got it from my momma. ;) a few years ago i read an article that found those who openly curse tend to be more honest people, so i like to consider this a positive trait. it turns a lot of people off (like my family), but i always hang on to that study. i think the reason i curse is because i'm emotionally honest; i wear my heart openly on my sleeve. growing up, people took advantage of this. in middle school i had a whole group of girl friends who basically kept me around as a joke, but i could get them things they couldn't. it took me entirely too long to figure this out. i think that was the start of my anxieties.

---

It's so funny...human nature, how we express ourselves and how others perceive us. Hearing you explain why you curse gives me a totally different take on it. I've never thought about it that way before. Brutal honesty!

I rarely curse. I have to be out of my mind angry to let the expletives fly. To me, the English language is full of so many wonderful words! The more I'm familiar with, the more accurately I can express exactly how I'm feeling at any given moment. I've always found a person who punctuates every sentence with a curse word to be grammatically lazy. When I listen to the guys I work with, I'm so distracted by the shear amount of f-bombs they can squeeze into a very normal conversation, that I have a difficult time even understanding what they're getting at. And then the curse word loses it's power somehow, and doesn't even mean anything anymore.

It's not that I'm a prude, when I'm red-hot angry I think it's very acceptable to illustrate this with well-timed cursing meant to deliver a message.

However, it's interesting what you said about the correlation between cursing and honesty. Not sure why they go together, but interesting nonetheless.

Learn something new every #$%&ing day!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Kcl

My mother had a very rough childhood herself from what little I know of it, but her mothering contained such features as hours of screaming about how worthless I was after I confessed suicidal ideation with a specific plan and access to relevant materials followed by loss of my "privilege" to close the bathroom door, calling me fat until I cried at the height of my anorexia when I was clinically underweight and other mothers were starting to comment (unfortunately I've currently swung too far in the other direction weight-wise and it's a long process working my way back down without relapsing into unhealthy behaviors), and yelling at me about how I should just give up and work at Mcdonald's while making me re-write my ivy league application essays (I'm inclined to think this sabotaged me on those ones). I would have stopped speaking to her long ago if the cost of it hadn't been being unable to speak to my father as well. That's only changed in the last few weeks, so I unfortunately had to stop speaking to him for the better part of a year. The right support really makes all the difference and it's great you're able to provide that for your kid!

I don't know if my boyfriend is a Katie or not, but he certainly has his shining moments. He's having a rough time right now because he's less than a month away from finishing his Ph.d., is from a country that isn't doing too well politically, and his father has age-related health issues. But he came and stood with me for hours waiting for the tow truck when my car broke down recently, shows me puppy videos like husky puppies hanging out in a fridge when I'm having a bad day, and will come along and tell my therapist for me if I'm becoming unhealthily obsessed with weight loss, or re-organizing everything, or whatever if I won't tell her myself.

---

Wow, Kcl, {{{{{{BIG HUG}}}}}}

Families can be so complicated. And like you said, sometimes the issues run through the generations. Its sad, really, but what can you do ?

Sometimes all you can do is break the cycle, break of contact, like you have. You have to think of yourself for now. You need to make it.
What the future will bring, time will tell, but for now, take care of yourself and make yourself a priority.

Your boyfriend sounds like a gem :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by hilabeans

Learn something new every #$%&ing day!

---

:rofl:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by zina10

Wow, Tttaylorrr,

You are a fighter as well. It is amazing how many parallels there are with people in this hobby and on those forums. You persevered through the hard times, never giving up.
You also seem to be a very honest person. That is so important to me. If there is something I do not like, it is fake people. Life is to short for those games.
I can also curse with the best of them, LOL. In my case it is easy to do, because its not in my birth language. If I would curse really bad words in MY language, I would almost expect my mothers hand connecting with the back of my head, haha.
But cursing in English? Well, that is easy! And sometimes, when something goes wrong, it helps ;)
What kind of beer do you like ? I love dark brews, or at least not light beer. Can't stand it..

---

thank you zina. :) i had to fight hard, but thankfully i was born with a fighting spirit.

i really like hoppy beers! like a nice IPA. i don't like heavy beers like stouts; ew! i enjoy a light beer on a summer day, and once the sun sets it's on to the hops! hahaha.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by hilabeans

It's so funny...human nature, how we express ourselves and how others perceive us. Hearing you explain why you curse gives me a totally different take on it. I've never thought about it that way before. Brutal honesty!

I rarely curse. I have to be out of my mind angry to let the expletives fly. To me, the English language is full of so many wonderful words! The more I'm familiar with, the more accurately I can express exactly how I'm feeling at any given moment. I've always found a person who punctuates every sentence with a curse word to be grammatically lazy. When I listen to the guys I work with, I'm so distracted by the shear amount of f-bombs they can squeeze into a very normal conversation, that I have a difficult time even understanding what they're getting at. And then the curse word loses it's power somehow, and doesn't even mean anything anymore.

It's not that I'm a prude, when I'm red-hot angry I think it's very acceptable to illustrate this with well-timed cursing meant to deliver a message.

However, it's interesting what you said about the correlation between cursing and honesty. Not sure why they go together, but interesting nonetheless.

Learn something new every #$%&ing day!

---

in high school i was friends with people who flatly refused to curse (church types). they accepted me as i was because they knew me and it was a big part of me: emotional honesty. the thing with me is: i never swear at people. i swear when my emotions are raised, or i'm talking about something with passion. this was how my household communicated emotion growing up: yelling and cursing. i consider my swearing a sign of vulnerability tbh; because it's all i have left to prove how i feel. i know it comes off negatively, but i literally can't help it. and i'll never use a curse derogatorily unless you're like that guy at the bar a few weeks ago who was screaming and spitting in a woman's face; where it's more nouns than adjectives.

Ok, I'll play along...

I grew up in Leominster, MA and have lived there or in a neighboring town my whole life. I grew up with a great family including my mother, father and brother. I seriously could not have asked for a better family. My parents were phenomenal parents and my little brother looked up to me and supported me like no other. We lived comfortably, but by no means well off. My father worked hard and often worked a second job to ensure I could play hockey and we could have an annual family vacation.
I was always a good student, a good athlete and popular in school.

I ended up being looked at by Div 1 schools for hockey, but was ultimately told I was too small at 5'8" 160 lbs. So I played juniors for a while hoping to catch on somewhere, but it never panned out. In the meantime, I went to college for accounting. I was the first in my family to go to college and had a lot of expectations on my shoulders. However, being away from home and having discovered booze and marijuana it was too easy to skip class. I struggled to pass my classes and halfway through 2nd semester was well on my way to failing all my classes. I was even failing an ICE SKATING class!!!!

Well, I ended up taking a leave of absence to avoid a 0.0 on my transcript. I moved home and got a full time job. I had a paper route as a kid and worked part time through high school, but that barely paid for my hockey sticks and gas in the car. Now I was working full time and making "good money", hahaha.

By this time I was partying nightly and having fun. I decided not to go back to school and got an apartment with some friends. By this point, even in my home town, I was no longer Craiga the hockey player, but Craiga the Kegger, I was known as a party animal. Once I realized I wasn't going anywhere with hockey I needed a new identity, something else I was good at. And I could party with the best of them. I was always surrounded by booze, drugs and girls and loved every minute of it. I had a new identity...

Well, it gets blurry from there. I can honestly say, I remember very very little of the next 14 years or so. I moved a lot, partied a lot and had a lot of fun...for a while. By the time I was 21 I was drinking and using drugs daily, and I mean real drugs, not just pot. I honestly don't consider pot to be a drug. I was tending bar and making good money, but had nothing to show for it. I lived paycheck to paycheck. I had bar tabs and dealers to pay each Friday, my bills were always late, I was constantly having phone, electricity, etc... shut off. But never went without booze or drugs. I partied daily and partied with the goal of partying til I forgot my name.

I knew a had a problem in my early 20s, but accepted that that is who I was. I knew I would die young and I knew it would be booze or drugs that killed me. I became very depressed, suicidal and unlikable. If you weren't partying with me or could help fuel my need I had no use for you. I avoided family and alienated all my friends. I was alone except for my party "friends", none of which I've heard from since getting sober over 5 years ago. Safe to say they weren't real friends.

Anyway, after 15 years of daily annihilation and burning every bridge I had, I finally hit my rock bottom. I was living in a very dark, lonely place for far too long. On the surface, I seemed like a fun-loving, crazy man. But on the inside, I had been broken far too long. In Jan of 2012 my brother proposed to his now wife. He asked me to be his best man, but told me he was afraid I would ruin the wedding and begged me to stay sober til after I gave the toast, at least and to not bring any grubs to his wedding. I promised him I would stay sober til the toast, and I did, kinda....
The wedding was in October and was a blast, I didn't ruin the wedding.
Fast forward to December...things were BAD. I knew I'd be dead or in jail within months and I didn't care. I had accepted who I was. I was an alcoholic and a drug addict and I would die that way. I had broken my leg 2 weeks before my brother's wedding (yup, was in a walking boot on crutches for his wedding) so I wasn't working. I had nothing better to do than start drinking as soon as I woke up. Well, one day I was at the hockey think watching some friends play a tournament. I got a mid-afternoon phone call from my mother. I answered, but could hardly speak I was slurring so badly, speaking Craiganese as I liked to call it. She told me I would be receiving a letter in the mail within a few days and explained that she had no choice but to cut me out of her life completely until I got help. I told her to "have a nice life" and hung up the phone. I ripped it up for another few hours until i just couldn't do it anymore. I broke down completely. I was a blubbering, broken mess. I cried and cried and cried for hours. Sometime around 7pm I called my mother, and to my surprise, she answered. I told her I was going to an AA meeting at 8am the following morning. She asked why I wasn't going that night, hahaha. I told her I was too messed up and wanted to show up at my first meeting on the right foot. I kept my word and went tothat meeting...and another one at noon...and another that night....
Well, just over 5 years later I can proudly say I am still clean and sober!!!!

I am alive again, I look forward to every day again, I want to grow old and live a full life. I no longer wake up and curse god for not letting me die and making me live another day hating myself. I went YEARS not being able to look in the mirror and look into my own eyes. I now look myself in the eye and am proud of myself. I have my family back in my life and I have an amazing girlfriend. I even managed to re-establish a relationship with my father, who I went YEARS barely speaking to.

I live a very simple, but wonderful life. I live with my girlfriend and I work as a kitchen manager/chef right down the street from our house. We have a cat, 4 ferrets, a 55 and a 75 gallon fish tank and 4 snakes.

I LOVE my life today and I am happy with myself for the first time since I was in my early 20s (I'm 39 now). I enjoy quiet nights in with the girl, and since I work mostly days now we actually get to spend most nights together.

I also see my family regularly and am in my neice and nephew's lives, which my brother has made very clear wouldn't be an option if I was still the "old me". I babysit them and even take them for weekends here and there. It means the world to me to watch them grow up and that my brother trusts me with his children....geez, tearing up typing this... I look forward to family events and my family looks forward to seeing me.

Aside from my animals, I am a music junkie. I love my tunes and often say it's my music therapy. I like to read books aboit WWII, memoirs and biographies and I am a big Boston sports fan.

Well, I feel like I just typed forever, so I'll wrap up.

@Zina10, thanks for starting this thread.

To all the rest of my friends here at BP.net, it's been great getting to know you all. I look forward to checking this forum out at least once a day and it's great to share my passion with you all and learn from one another.

Wow Craig. Just wow. :tears:

I want to hug you and your mom.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by craigafrechette

Ok, I'll play along...

---

as long as i've "known" you, you've always touched on this part of yourself, and have been very open about it, but this was the first time you really shared what happened. craig, i can honestly say, knowing addicts myself, that your mother saved your life. i'm sure you know this, but you gave her back the life she gave you. you're incredibly strong. i have to admit, as a person with a mental illness, for me it's too easy to abuse something for that one night of forgotten peace. yet it never helps. i always have to remind myself that it never actually helps.

keep telling your story, craig. don't ever be ashamed. if my father didn't get sober, i wouldn't existed. i've lost so many friends to heroin ODs in high school; it's huge in chicago right now. addiction in this country is a mental health crisis, and needs to be treated as such. the stigma needs to end.

you're one strong dude, craigafrechette. :gj:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by tttaylorrr

as long as i've "known" you, you've always touched on this part of yourself, and have been very open about it, but this was the first time you really shared what happened. craig, i can honestly say, knowing addicts myself, that your mother saved your life. i'm sure you know this, but you gave her back the life she gave you. you're incredibly strong. i have to admit, as a person with a mental illness, for me it's too easy to abuse something for that one night of forgotten peace. yet it never helps. i always have to remind myself that it never actually helps.

keep telling your story, craig. don't ever be ashamed. if my father didn't get sober, i wouldn't existed. i've lost so many friends to heroin ODs in high school; it's huge in chicago right now. addiction in this country is a mental health crisis, and needs to be treated as such. the stigma needs to end.

you're one strong dude, craigafrechette. :gj:

---

Thanks Taylor!!!

I've been honest and open with my past from very early on in sobriety. I came to realize it doesn't define me, but it's a part of my life and who I am. I'm not ashamed of it.

My mother and I have been very close most of my life, but especially since my late teens. She's got her demons as well. She suffers from anxiety and depression, is bipolar and agorophobic. So I've always just felt like we understood each other. She's a great mother and a great friend. Shes without a doubt the kindest, most caring person I've ever met.

I'm also not afraid to share my story because maybe, just maybe somebody reads it and they get the courage to get help. Or maybe somebody learns more about addiction and understands what a loved one may be going through. My father never understood, he always thought it was just me making bad choices. This is a DISEASE and it's real. It's killing people by the thousands EVERY day!. I OD'd and was legally dead for about 5-6 minutes. Narcan and paddles on my chest. Almost had a heart attack while they were trying to revive me.... I shot up again two days later!!!! Thats how real this is. So, if a million people judge me based on my story, but I help ONE person by sharing it, it's well worth it.

- - - Updated - - -

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by hilabeans

Wow Craig. Just wow. :tears:

I want to hug you and your mom.

---

Thanks, I'll hug her for you next time I see her.

OK, So here's the super condensed cliff notes version.

I left NJ and joined the Marine Corps at 18yrs old. Planned on making a career of it, but fate had other plans. I went through a divorce in the late 90's and got custody of my son. I didn't want to bounce him around as a single parent, so I got out of the Marine Corps and with my living situation at the time, also had to find a home for my red tail boas. My son had some medical issues when he was younger. To look at him now, you'd never know it, but he went through 8 major surgeries and a bunch of smaller procedures and testing all prior to his 2nd birthday. I never let him use it as a crutch or a handicap. His favorite sports were football, wrestling and hockey and he played football from flag all the way through high school. He was more often than not the smallest kid on the team, but he was also the most fierce.

Once getting off Active Duty, I got into Facilities Management for my full time gig. I found myself missing the Corps, so I did go back in the Reserves a couple times. Tried my hand at a Boot Camp Style personal training business for a little while. Then I was offered a part time job in sales at a local Harley dealer. So I've been doing that on Saturdays and Sundays for about 5 & 1/2 years. Right around Thanksgiving, this past year, I added driving for Uber, because... well, I have a 20yr old in college and there will be plenty of time to sleep when I'm dead, right?

I also started a little grass roots project a little over a year ago called The Warrior Heart. I just got to thinking there are so many Veterans dealing with PTSD, Anxiety and Depression, as well as others suffering the same, or otherwise embattled with aversions to self-worth and confidence. So I began putting out videos on whatever topic I felt like talking about at the time, from leadership to communication to relationships and how to treat people, whatever came to mind really. I even learned how to green screen with my Mac. I'd also feature people that I felt exemplified what it means to have The Warrior Heart, by posting up their story and some photos, sending them a free tshirt, etc... It's taken a bit of a back seat since I took on the 3rd gig. I plan on going back to it, but haven't really had the time, focus or creative energy for it lately.

There’s a link to the Facebook and YouTube channel if anyone is interested in checking it out.

https://www.facebook.com/AwakenYourWarriorHeart/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgU...0ewUVaxQvBz93Q

And here’s a pic of me and my boy from many moons ago.

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...bf07817e37.jpg





Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by craigafrechette

Ok, I'll play along...

I grew up in Leominster, MA and have lived there or in a neighboring town my whole life. I grew up with a great family including my mother, father and brother. I seriously could not have asked for a better family. My parents were phenomenal parents and my little brother looked up to me and supported me like no other. We lived comfortably, but by no means well off. My father worked hard and often worked a second job to ensure I could play hockey and we could have an annual family vacation.
I was always a good student, a good athlete and popular in school.

I ended up being looked at by Div 1 schools for hockey, but was ultimately told I was too small at 5'8" 160 lbs. So I played juniors for a while hoping to catch on somewhere, but it never panned out. In the meantime, I went to college for accounting. I was the first in my family to go to college and had a lot of expectations on my shoulders. However, being away from home and having discovered booze and marijuana it was too easy to skip class. I struggled to pass my classes and halfway through 2nd semester was well on my way to failing all my classes. I was even failing an ICE SKATING class!!!!

Well, I ended up taking a leave of absence to avoid a 0.0 on my transcript. I moved home and got a full time job. I had a paper route as a kid and worked part time through high school, but that barely paid for my hockey sticks and gas in the car. Now I was working full time and making "good money", hahaha.

By this time I was partying nightly and having fun. I decided not to go back to school and got an apartment with some friends. By this point, even in my home town, I was no longer Craiga the hockey player, but Craiga the Kegger, I was known as a party animal. Once I realized I wasn't going anywhere with hockey I needed a new identity, something else I was good at. And I could party with the best of them. I was always surrounded by booze, drugs and girls and loved every minute of it. I had a new identity...

Well, it gets blurry from there. I can honestly say, I remember very very little of the next 14 years or so. I moved a lot, partied a lot and had a lot of fun...for a while. By the time I was 21 I was drinking and using drugs daily, and I mean real drugs, not just pot. I honestly don't consider pot to be a drug. I was tending bar and making good money, but had nothing to show for it. I lived paycheck to paycheck. I had bar tabs and dealers to pay each Friday, my bills were always late, I was constantly having phone, electricity, etc... shut off. But never went without booze or drugs. I partied daily and partied with the goal of partying til I forgot my name.

I knew a had a problem in my early 20s, but accepted that that is who I was. I knew I would die young and I knew it would be booze or drugs that killed me. I became very depressed, suicidal and unlikable. If you weren't partying with me or could help fuel my need I had no use for you. I avoided family and alienated all my friends. I was alone except for my party "friends", none of which I've heard from since getting sober over 5 years ago. Safe to say they weren't real friends.

Anyway, after 15 years of daily annihilation and burning every bridge I had, I finally hit my rock bottom. I was living in a very dark, lonely place for far too long. On the surface, I seemed like a fun-loving, crazy man. But on the inside, I had been broken far too long. In Jan of 2012 my brother proposed to his now wife. He asked me to be his best man, but told me he was afraid I would ruin the wedding and begged me to stay sober til after I gave the toast, at least and to not bring any grubs to his wedding. I promised him I would stay sober til the toast, and I did, kinda....
The wedding was in October and was a blast, I didn't ruin the wedding.
Fast forward to December...things were BAD. I knew I'd be dead or in jail within months and I didn't care. I had accepted who I was. I was an alcoholic and a drug addict and I would die that way. I had broken my leg 2 weeks before my brother's wedding (yup, was in a walking boot on crutches for his wedding) so I wasn't working. I had nothing better to do than start drinking as soon as I woke up. Well, one day I was at the hockey think watching some friends play a tournament. I got a mid-afternoon phone call from my mother. I answered, but could hardly speak I was slurring so badly, speaking Craiganese as I liked to call it. She told me I would be receiving a letter in the mail within a few days and explained that she had no choice but to cut me out of her life completely until I got help. I told her to "have a nice life" and hung up the phone. I ripped it up for another few hours until i just couldn't do it anymore. I broke down completely. I was a blubbering, broken mess. I cried and cried and cried for hours. Sometime around 7pm I called my mother, and to my surprise, she answered. I told her I was going to an AA meeting at 8am the following morning. She asked why I wasn't going that night, hahaha. I told her I was too messed up and wanted to show up at my first meeting on the right foot. I kept my word and went tothat meeting...and another one at noon...and another that night....
Well, just over 5 years later I can proudly say I am still clean and sober!!!!

I am alive again, I look forward to every day again, I want to grow old and live a full life. I no longer wake up and curse god for not letting me die and making me live another day hating myself. I went YEARS not being able to look in the mirror and look into my own eyes. I now look myself in the eye and am proud of myself. I have my family back in my life and I have an amazing girlfriend. I even managed to re-establish a relationship with my father, who I went YEARS barely speaking to.

I live a very simple, but wonderful life. I live with my girlfriend and I work as a kitchen manager/chef right down the street from our house. We have a cat, 4 ferrets, a 55 and a 75 gallon fish tank and 4 snakes.

I LOVE my life today and I am happy with myself for the first time since I was in my early 20s (I'm 39 now). I enjoy quiet nights in with the girl, and since I work mostly days now we actually get to spend most nights together.

I also see my family regularly and am in my neice and nephew's lives, which my brother has made very clear wouldn't be an option if I was still the "old me". I babysit them and even take them for weekends here and there. It means the world to me to watch them grow up and that my brother trusts me with his children....geez, tearing up typing this... I look forward to family events and my family looks forward to seeing me.

Aside from my animals, I am a music junkie. I love my tunes and often say it's my music therapy. I like to read books aboit WWII, memoirs and biographies and I am a big Boston sports fan.

Well, I feel like I just typed forever, so I'll wrap up.

@Zina10, thanks for starting this thread.

To all the rest of my friends here at BP.net, it's been great getting to know you all. I look forward to checking this forum out at least once a day and it's great to share my passion with you all and learn from one another.

---

Awesome story! Keep pushin brother and remember the most important thing... You are NEVER alone!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sgt7212

Awesome story! Keep pushin brother and remember the most important thing... You are NEVER alone!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

---

Thanks, my man. I'm not naive enough to think I've got it beat, it never goes away. But only I can allow it to take over my life again. And I feel more confident than ever that I'm strong enough to never let it.

Thanks for sharing your story as well. Sounds like you're an awesome father and should be proud of all you've done and continue to do raising him. Seems like you've got a great boy to be proud of as well.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by craigafrechette

Thanks, my man. I'm not naive enough to think I've got it beat, it never goes away. But only I can allow it to take over my life again. And I feel more confident than ever that I'm strong enough to never let it.

Thanks for sharing your story as well. Sounds like you're an awesome father and should be proud of all you've done and continue to do raising him. Seems like you've got a great boy to be proud of as well.

---

You’re welcome! And thank you! I’m far from perfect, but I do the best I can and always try to improve and learn from my mistakes. Sometimes the greatest lessons are learned from the battles we lose, not the ones we win. My son has turned out to be an amazing young man. Yes, I am biased, but he and I have a very strong relationship. We communicate well, and he solicits my opinions and advice, while understanding that I’m giving just that and not telling him what to do. He knows I’ll respect his decision and trust him to do the right thing. I really couldn’t have asked for a better son. That’s why I do what I do and put in the extra work when needed.

Of course, I joke with him and say when he graduates college he better get a really good job and remember everything I did for him and everything his mother didn’t do. Ha ha Ha


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Just remember Zina, you asked for it.

The full back story is too long and depressing but suffice it to say I am surprised that I came through my youth alive. Common story. Broken home…Blah, blah, blah. Moved a lot… Blah, blah, blah. Self medicated...Blah, blah, blah. I struggled with the concept of high school because of my intolerance for the banality of the material and the cruelty of the peer hierarchy. If had to use a reference from The Breakfast Club to describe me, I would say I looked and dressed like Judd Nelson’s character, was smarter than Anthony Michael Hall’s character, but was perceived as Ally Sheedy’s character. Even if I had wanted to, which I didn’t, it would have been pretty difficult for me to fit in. High school, in the simplest terms and the most convenient definition, was unbearable. When it ended I was finished with structured education. I am surprised that others are surprised by all of the tragedies happening in the schools these days. I’m not condoning it mind you. It is tragic. But I’m not surprised.

Today, I am 30 years a husband to a wonderful woman and I am the father of three beautiful daughters. My children are the greatest events I have ever been a part of. I am on my third career, none of which I ever wanted or cared for, but they all have afforded me a decent life so why complain. I’ve never cared about my station or the trappings of status.

I’ve loved animals all my life, and reptiles in particular. I’ve enjoyed hunting and fishing since I was a kid; not for the kill, but for the time I get to spend in quiet reflection and for the solitude and beauty of nature. Some of my most amazing hunts had nothing to do with a kill. Once I had a Bobcat stalk to within 10 feet of me through a snow covered forest. He was so close I could see his eyes darting back and forth trying to locate me. He could smell me but couldn't see me as I was in full snow camo sitting on a blown down log. In Canada I had a Timber Wolf walking below me for about 10 minutes. Beautiful. I won’t take anything I won’t eat and am very cognizant and appreciative of the animal’s sacrifice when I do. I process my own animals.

I love stories. I used to read when I was younger but now can’t/don’t find the time. Last thing I read was the Harry Potter series. I started to make sure it was appropriate for my daughters as my oldest was 7 when the first book came out. I couldn't believe how I was drawn in. I love movies. A well told or thought provoking story coupled with stunning imagery can be incredibly moving. As an example, “American Beauty”. That said, I hate what CGI is doing to the industry. It was meant to enhance the experience, but has been so overused and is so over the top that it has diminished it. Most technology is like that now, diminishing the human experience.

I love music, couldn’t live without it. To me the lyrics are as important as the melody because again, the story matters. I also believe that music is the purest form of expression. By that I mean that if there was no one to exploit it and no one consuming it, it would still be created. While the Beatles could have just as easily never happened, Paul and John were going to make music regardless.

I love live theater. Even though it is rehearsed, it’s authentic. There aren’t a dozen takes and anything can happen. Both the performers and the audience are taking a risk and are invested in the moment.

I have no use for competitive sports. I enjoy watching some Hockey but only because I’m amazed at the speed in which it is played and the ability of the players to hit a four inch hole with a three inch puck while using a five foot stick and going twenty miles an hour balanced on two pieces of steel. That's a lot of numbers. Now that I say it out loud it even sounds ridiculous. All other sports are just mind numbingly boring, in my opinion. It is tough to live in the south where everyone is so wrapped up in sports. I went to a football game once because my daughter was in marching band. There were 10,000 people at a high school football game! That’s right, 10,000. High school football. I can’t tell you how many times someone will start a conversation about sports and I just get a glazed look in my eyes.

In the third act, I play the role of a Realtor. I was once showing a property and about half way through I was asked if I knew who it was I was showing? It turned out to be a former professional basketball player. I apologized saying I wasn’t into sports and that the only time I had even remotely paid attention to basketball was back in the 80s when the Pistons were called "The Bad Boys” and I lived near Detroit. He said, “Yeah, that’s when I played”. It was Terry Cummings from the Milwaukee Bucks. And we're walking.

I’ve become pretty much a curmudgeon these days and have little tolerance for humans in general. I struggle to understand a species that is so hell bent on promoting its own worthlessness and self-destruction. The next time you get into the self-checkout line or make your own doctor appointment online, ask yourself three questions. Why have I agreed to do someone else’s job for free? How will I recover that time? What are the costs/impact on society regarding the job that I have eliminated? We’ve become so impatient that we can’t wait to do anything. So consequently we have resigned ourselves to doing everything. In the end we have less time and less resource, not more.

Now consider what AI (Artificial Intelligence) will bring in the future. The single most intelligent being in the world was lost just a couple days ago and he was terrified by the implications of AI. Well that's me. I hope I have provoked thought.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Kcl

Also, Jus1More, Westie pictures please. I grew up with a westie. She's a little brat sometimes, but she's the best. She's sixteen now.

---

OMG... Your Westies is 16 yrs old!!!! That's awesome!!! My girl is going on 13 this year and she is my shadow, to say the least... Oh and the biggest diva ever!!!
She has slowed down a bunch now, but every now and then she gets that prance in her step (she thinks she is a show dog...lol) I never thought Westies lived that long, which I am not complaining because I love my girl to pieces. Taking pictures is not her favorite thing and she will actually turn away from the camera so I never get any good pictures of her. Thanks for tagging me and letting me know that you are also a Westie parent. They truly are awesome little dogs :gj:

Wow, you all. I had no idea that opening up a bit of my soul and starting this thread would turn out to be like this.
So many parallels. Fascinating stories that are LIFE. And the one thing that is shared throughout. Strength, Overcoming, Honesty, Beautiful souls.

I wish I had better words to really say what I want to say. English is my second language and normally I don't have to many problems with it, but I'm so overcome I fear my words are inadequate. You ALL are wonderful people. You all have such strength. While we are all different in many ways, we are also the same in many ways.

If there was any way that we all could meet, have a get together, it would feel like a family re-union. Like we already know each other, and well.
Thank you everybody for opening up, for your courage, your honesty.

Craig,
You are amazing, you know that ? You have literally went rock bottom and below, yet you survived. So many do not. You have went beyond the point of no return, but here you are. Your core is pure steel. To be able to come back from that, turn it around, it must have been monumentally difficult, esp. in the shape you were in.
Your story is also a love story. For your mom to have been able to do what she did, it was the ultimate gift of love. As a mother I know that this was the hardest thing she ever did. It also speaks of your deep bond with her that this reached deep within you, woke you up.
Your honesty is also a testament to your character. You want to reach out and help the ones that have given up on themselves. So many addicts, even recovering ones, are not even honest to themselves. They don't want people to know, because they want that backdoor open, to slip through unnoticed.
I'm so glad that you were strong enough to turn your life around and that you are strong enough to continue living it.

Speaking of WW2, I too like to read and hear about it. Having had family that lived through the horrors and in their old age would reveal more and more about it, I always felt it wasn't that far off, it seemed very real. It blows me away when I realize what people endured, the horror of it. The waste. I always knew my great aunt (when she was alive) was mentally sick. But I didn't know until much later why. When my grandmother and the rest of the family ran from the Russians, literally ran for their lives in the dark, through deep snow, my Great Aunt lost one of her babies. She had given birth only the day before to twins. They ran, carrying kids in their arms. My Great Aunt had one child in her arms while pushing and pulling the old stroller with the twins in it. In the panic and confusion, one of the twins must have fallen out of the stroller. In dark woods and high snow. They couldn't find it, and they had to keep running. She never recovered from that. Just some tragic stories from people caught in the middle of it.

Sgt7212

I want you to bottle up some of your energy and send it my way ;)

You are a AMAZING father !!! And you did all the parenting by yourself. Kudos, that is one of the hardest jobs there is. On top you had to provide for you and your son, and you dealt with his medical issues.
And now your son is doing well and in college and you two enjoy a wonderful father-son relationship. I have done the "single mother" thing for several years, during the many long separations due to hardship tours and deployments. Its not easy, I know.

It is amazing that you were able to do all this, plus find time for a weekend job AND to start the Warrior Heart Project. What a wonderful thing to do. To this day, so many Veterans struggle along, in need of some support and a place to share and feel listened to.

And now you also drive Uber. When do you eat or sleep ;)

Thank you for sharing, you have my deepest respect for having done the best in every way. We'll be happy to see you in the forum when you do get some down time :)

Pretty boring childhood/adolescence, as an introvert bookworm. I turned 50 last year, been married to Dracos for over half my life now. We both grew up in Michigan, met at Michigan Tech, got married after I graduated, and ended up in the Chicago area because that’s where he got a job.

In the last year Dracos left his job as a software test engineer, got his CDL, and became a truck driver. Our adult son was tired of working at Little Caesar’s, got his CDL, and now he’s on the road, too. So it’s me, all the snakes, the skink, the tortoise, and the three dogs except on weekends. It was a year of big changes!

I’m an un-Civil Engineer, and a lifer with the State of Illinois, working in floodplain management. Dracos and I have a side business that started out making and selling leather goods like belts, pouches, etc. to medieval reenactors (SCA). With the changes mentioned above I’ve re-directed the business, doing more on Etsy and smaller one-day shows that I take less stuff to. I have waaayyy too many hobbies, currently making doll clothes and hand-bound books more than doing leatherworking. Partly because the dining/work room is a shambles.

Thank Dog for e-books, or our house would have imploded under the weight of all the books - all three of us humans are readers. The offspring still prefers paper, and there’s some things that I can’t get electronically and/or want in paper, so there’s still plenty of books around.

For extra personal-life excitement, I’m monogamous with a poly spouse. Adjusting to that was . . . Interesting. A good marriage counselor, therapist, and anti-depressants helped. Turns out that some of the relentless drive to Make All The Things was to shut up the internal monologue, which was getting more and more un-shut-uppable because of depression. Now it can be nice and quiet in my head, yay!

I’m very jealous of Dakski’s Formula car and Porsche 911. I’ve wanted a 911 since high school - actually I do have a pretty red 914, about a foot long. [emoji4]


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro

rlditmard,

Yes, I asked for it :)
It sounds like your story didn't start out easy, but you persevered and made the best of it. Family, 3 daughters to adore, taking care of everyone.

I feel like you are one of those persons that one can sit down with and have long conversations about the world, life, whatever else comes up.
I really like your philosophy about nature and hunting. It is exactly how I feel about it. Sometimes when you are out there, alone, in the presence of those amazing creatures, life suddenly becomes so clear and real. And beautiful. Those moments are priceless.
I'm very much pro hunting. Not a big fan of trophy hunting though, unless its done for population control (health) and such things. While I don't think I would be able to kill an animal, I respect the ones that do it and do it right. Use what they kill. Have respect for the creature and appreciative of the sacrifice.

Its interesting to see just how much of an impact music has in our life. Its able to change moods, to bring back memories or to take us places. I feel the same way about books. Its like getting transported to a different place and time.

The loss of Stephen Hawkins is a large one indeed. Such a brilliant mind he had. It is interesting that you brought up AI and what a scary prospect that can be. Recently I have begun to watch the "X-files". While watching the old seasons I got curious about the new ones (season 10 and 11) and started those as well ;)

Just yesterday I watched Episode 7 of Season 11 (free on fox.com). The episode is called "Rm9sbG93ZXJz". It's one of those random episodes that really have nothing at all to do with the story line. Almost like a "stand alone" episode. It is all about Artificial Intelligence and automation. At first I was wondering just what I was watching, LOL. But as it went on, I became ever more uncomfortable thinking about how scary this really is. What is shown is not "utopian". We are already there. Its not science fiction. How easy it would be, to go all wrong. Very thought provoking and just a little scary the more one thinks about it..

Thank you for sharing

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by zina10

Sgt7212

I want you to bottle up some of your energy and send it my way ;)

You are a AMAZING father !!! And you did all the parenting by yourself. Kudos, that is one of the hardest jobs there is. On top you had to provide for you and your son, and you dealt with his medical issues.
And now your son is doing well and in college and you two enjoy a wonderful father-son relationship. I have done the "single mother" thing for several years, during the many long separations due to hardship tours and deployments. Its not easy, I know.

It is amazing that you were able to do all this, plus find time for a weekend job AND to start the Warrior Heart Project. What a wonderful thing to do. To this day, so many Veterans struggle along, in need of some support and a place to share and feel listened to.

And now you also drive Uber. When do you eat or sleep ;)

Thank you for sharing, you have my deepest respect for having done the best in every way. We'll be happy to see you in the forum when you do get some down time :)

---

Wow! Thank you so much for that. I don’t really look at it as me doing anything over the top. Just trying to do right by my son and treat people right. My son really made it easy for me. I am truly blessed. He is a fine young man and a confident leader with a huge heart.

Bottle up up my energy and sell it??? Hmmmmm...That’s it!!! I’ve been trying to come up with a 4th job to take up some of my free time. 😂

As for eating... I grab a bite here and there. I can afford to skip a meal every now and then since I haven’t been hitting the gym. Like I’ve read many times on this forum, “It’s more stressful for everyone else than it is for me.” 😂

Sleep??? I know you said English is not your first language, but what is this strange word you speak? 😜

I do need to find some time to work on The Warrior Heart some more. The one little boy I featured is turning 4 next month and I’m going to his birthday party so I’ll have some stuff to post from that. The video topics is another story. Like I mentioned, I just talked about whatever came to mind or whatever I was in the mood to talk about. I knew my view wouldn’t resonate with everyone, but even if they didn’t agree with me in a certain topic, if I made them think and got them pondering how they felt about it or would like to handle certain situations, then it was still having a positive impact. I’ve just been in a bit of a creative block lately. Maybe because I’m going in all different directions, my brain is like an etch-a-sketch and when I finally do stop moving, I slip into a mild coma. Lol

Sgt7212,
Well, if you sell it, I will buy it :P
Just reading about how busy you are is making me want to sit down and take a break !! :D

As to not doing anything over the top, what you have done is doing the best job you possibly could do for the most important person in your life. Being a wonderful and caring father and providing for your son. Give yourself credit. I'm sure your son does :)

Prognathodon,

I LOVE leather work. I love leather and all things made from natural materials, like wood work, leather, stone ...

For a while I tried myself at leather stamping and I made a pretty nice wallet. But I would need a lot more tools and a lot more space to start bigger projects, so this is as far as I got. I have seem some GORGEOUS tack sets for horses, bridles and breast collars, that people make at home. They sell for around $300 to $500. I would really love to make one of those, but I'm not good enough at it.

Yay, another book fan !! We really should start a book club, there are certainly enough people that love to read !! Did you join Bookbub? They send links to free/cheap ebooks daily. I've gotten pretty nice books for free. Others are not so great. But since I devour books, I read everything I can :)

I have to say, you are a strong person and you must have a lot of love for your husband, to live the lifestyle you do. I have to admit, I couldn't do it And I'm sure it wasn't easy to adjust to. I'm glad for you that you found peace with it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Prognathodon

Pretty boring childhood/adolescence, as an introvert bookworm. I turned 50 last year, been married to Dracos for over half my life now. We both grew up in Michigan, met at Michigan Tech, got married after I graduated, and ended up in the Chicago area because that’s where he got a job.

In the last year Dracos left his job as a software test engineer, got his CDL, and became a truck driver. Our adult son was tired of working at Little Caesar’s, got his CDL, and now he’s on the road, too. So it’s me, all the snakes, the skink, the tortoise, and the three dogs except on weekends. It was a year of big changes!

I’m an un-Civil Engineer, and a lifer with the State of Illinois, working in floodplain management. Dracos and I have a side business that started out making and selling leather goods like belts, pouches, etc. to medieval reenactors (SCA). With the changes mentioned above I’ve re-directed the business, doing more on Etsy and smaller one-day shows that I take less stuff to. I have waaayyy too many hobbies, currently making doll clothes and hand-bound books more than doing leatherworking. Partly because the dining/work room is a shambles.

Thank Dog for e-books, or our house would have imploded under the weight of all the books - all three of us humans are readers. The offspring still prefers paper, and there’s some things that I can’t get electronically and/or want in paper, so there’s still plenty of books around.

For extra personal-life excitement, I’m monogamous with a poly spouse. Adjusting to that was . . . Interesting. A good marriage counselor, therapist, and anti-depressants helped. Turns out that some of the relentless drive to Make All The Things was to shut up the internal monologue, which was getting more and more un-shut-uppable because of depression. Now it can be nice and quiet in my head, yay!

I’m very jealous of Dakski’s Formula car and Porsche 911. I’ve wanted a 911 since high school - actually I do have a pretty red 914, about a foot long. [emoji4]


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro

---

Soooo .. please explain in simple terms what the phrase 'monogamous with a poly spouse' actually means ??




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by zina10

Sgt7212,
Well, if you sell it, I will buy it :P
Just reading about how busy you are is making me want to sit down and take a break !! :D

As to not doing anything over the top, what you have done is doing the best job you possibly could do for the most important person in your life. Being a wonderful and caring father and providing for your son. Give yourself credit. I'm sure your son does :)

---

Well, now you went and made me blush. Hahaha

Thank you so much for the kind words and compliments. [emoji4]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by zina10

Craig,
You are amazing, you know that ? You have literally went rock bottom and below, yet you survived. So many do not. You have went beyond the point of no return, but here you are. Your core is pure steel. To be able to come back from that, turn it around, it must have been monumentally difficult, esp. in the shape you were in.
Your story is also a love story. For your mom to have been able to do what she did, it was the ultimate gift of love. As a mother I know that this was the hardest thing she ever did. It also speaks of your deep bond with her that this reached deep within you, woke you up.
Your honesty is also a testament to your character. You want to reach out and help the ones that have given up on themselves. So many addicts, even recovering ones, are not even honest to themselves. They don't want people to know, because they want that backdoor open, to slip through unnoticed.
I'm so glad that you were strong enough to turn your life around and that you are strong enough to continue living it.

Speaking of WW2, I too like to read and hear about it. Having had family that lived through the horrors and in their old age would reveal more and more about it, I always felt it wasn't that far off, it seemed very real. It blows me away when I realize what people endured, the horror of it. The waste. I always knew my great aunt (when she was alive) was mentally sick. But I didn't know until much later why. When my grandmother and the rest of the family ran from the Russians, literally ran for their lives in the dark, through deep snow, my Great Aunt lost one of her babies. She had given birth only the day before to twins. They ran, carrying kids in their arms. My Great Aunt had one child in her arms while pushing and pulling the old stroller with the twins in it. In the panic and confusion, one of the twins must have fallen out of the stroller. In dark woods and high snow. They couldn't find it, and they had to keep running. She never recovered from that. Just some tragic stories from people caught in the middle of it.

---

Thanks, Zina! I can certainly understand why so many don't make it. It was hands down the hardest thing I've ever had to do, ten fold. I've been to more funerals in the last 10 years than weddings, and most of them were friends, most didn't live to see 40. Luckily, my family was supportive and I just dove head first into meetings. I was hitting 3 every day I could. Those circles gave me hope and my family gave me strength.


And yeah, WWII is close to home for me since both grandfathers were there, one in Europe and one in the Pacific. Unfortunately, my mother's father passed my sophomore year of high school and never spoke of the war. The only thing he ever said was that the scar on his forearm was from a Japanese bayonet, but he could never keep a straight face. Turns out he was joking with us and he was injured working on a vehicle of some sort, hahaha.
Fortunately, my other grandfather is still going strong at 97 and has opened up about the war over the last 10 years or so, especially since my grandmother passed 6 years ago. I'm sure some of you saw the thread, but there was a book written by a local author about WWII vets telling their stories and there is a chapter written about my grandfather.
I'm so sorry to hear of your great aunt's story. That truly is heartbreaking, I can't even pretend to imagine. I think it's so important for the world to hear these stories. To understand something that shaped the history of the world so profoundly. I hope with all my heart and soul my neice and nephew never have to see a third world war, the world they're growing up in is scary enough.

Thanks again for starting this thread, it's been nice to share as well as to read other members stories. There really are a lot of parallels.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Deborah

Just a challenger R/T ;) , don't need more powerful since I could not use the full power of something else. (well unless I want to end up in jail :rofl:)

---

Just? I freaking LOVE challengers. My dad had a green R/T and it was a blast to drive. I'm still in the process of paying off my SS and when I'm done, I'm gonna sell it and upgrade to a ZL1.https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...956ed1d46b.jpghttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...bb59f31494.jpghttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...bcf8aa26ce.jpghttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...ca92126db9.jpghttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...876297ab05.jpghttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...2aa519d4e4.jpg

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk

Beautiful Car man pretty much my dream vehicle for one day. Growing up i had a 86 irock that had :cens0r::cens0r::cens0r::cens0r: tons of problems but opening up the T tops and cruising around was amazing.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MegaSteve778

Beautiful Car man pretty much my dream vehicle for one day. Growing up i had a 86 irock that had :cens0r::cens0r::cens0r::cens0r: tons of problems but opening up the T tops and cruising around was amazing.

---

I've been a Camaro lover for longer than I can remember. All my friends were fascinated with Lamborghinis and the camaro was my dream car. When I drove off the lot with it, I was waiting to wake up from a dream and I still look in amazement every time I see it. I am self diagnosed with P.T.S.D and this car is my medicine. I'm actually trying to motivate myself to get off my lazy butt and start my weekly therapy session and wash/wax it

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Prognathodon

I’m an un-Civil Engineer, and a lifer with the State of Illinois, working in floodplain management. Dracos and I have a side business that started out making and selling leather goods like belts, pouches, etc. to medieval reenactors (SCA). With the changes mentioned above I’ve re-directed the business, doing more on Etsy and smaller one-day shows that I take less stuff to. I have waaayyy too many hobbies, currently making doll clothes and hand-bound books more than doing leatherworking. Partly because the dining/work room is a shambles.

Thank Dog for e-books, or our house would have imploded under the weight of all the books - all three of us humans are readers. The offspring still prefers paper, and there’s some things that I can’t get electronically and/or want in paper, so there’s still plenty of books around.

For extra personal-life excitement, I’m monogamous with a poly spouse. Adjusting to that was . . . Interesting. A good marriage counselor, therapist, and anti-depressants helped. Turns out that some of the relentless drive to Make All The Things was to shut up the internal monologue, which was getting more and more un-shut-uppable because of depression. Now it can be nice and quiet in my head, yay!
[emoji4]


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro

---

I'm not sure what poly means in this sense, but I think I have an idea. I hope you're truly ok with it. Sounds like the adjustment was very hard on you. I hope you are in a safe space with your man to say you're not ok with it, if you're really not ok. For me, it would break my heart.

But it's none of my business and if it does work for you both, well then - hey, do your thang! Just please don't feel like what you want is less important.

My 2 cents. I'll shut up now.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by zina10

Prognathodon,

I LOVE leather work. I love leather and all things made from natural materials, like wood work, leather, stone ...

I have to say, you are a strong person and you must have a lot of love for your husband, to live the lifestyle you do. I have to admit, I couldn't do it And I'm sure it wasn't easy to adjust to. I'm glad for you that you found peace with it.

---

I love leather work too!! I want to see prognathodon's Etsy shop!! I know there are a ton of members here who have Etsy shops, too. Do you think it's ok if we start a thread asking for everyone to post their Etsy pages? Is that a violation of the terms?

I'd really love to support our member's shops but don't want to get in trouble with the Mods. Deborah??

Thanks everyone.

Poly=Polyamorous, which in practical terms means that he has a second, long-term partner. I don’t, and really don’t want one. It was a lot of work to figure out, and learn to live with, both ways. He struggled with trying to remain monogamous for many years, but never cheated on me. Poly relationships can vary widely, but the important thing is that it’s ethical - everybody involved knows what’s going on, who’s dating/married to who, etc. Like LGBT people are just wired that way, poly people are just wired that way. It isn’t about more sex partners, it’s about love and caring. It wasn’t an easy decision, but I decided I was happier with him and him having a poly relationship than without him.

In Dracos’ ideal world, all three of us (him, me, and my metamour (partner’s partner that I’m not romantically involved with) would share one big house, with two kitchens, because otherwise there would be warfare. :) In reality . . . not so much on the one house thing. He knows that I need to feel like the primary partner, even though he doesn’t think of us as primary/secondary. Fortunately, he’s content with the two of us, a third would make things *really* crazy! My metamour and I are friends.

In 20/20 hindsight I likely suffered from depression for many many years before the poly thing got more serious. Working through that just identified it.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro

On to the less emotionally-laden leatherworking. :)

I don’t do tooling, Dracos does that. We’ve made over a thousand belt pouches in 22 years, and pretty sure we’re near or over a thousand belts, too - but most of those are the kind where you cut a strip and rivet a ring on one end, so you can produce a lot very quickly.

I think most of the belt pouches have been hard, molded ones, stiffened with paraffin wax, with a back/flap piece laced on, lacing around the flap edge. Let’s see if I’ve got a picture . . . root root root . . . here we go:
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...9243c97f37.jpg

That one is one of the fancier ones I’ve made, the two-tone lacing is slower than solid-color, as you do a stitch of one color, drop it, then do a stitch of the other, drop it, repeat. Single-color I’ve done so


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro

Oops, too much time editing. To continue:

The pouch in the previous post is one of the fancier ones I’ve made, the two-tone lacing is slower than solid-color, as you do a stitch of one color, drop it, then do a stitch of the other, drop it, repeat. Single-color I’ve done so much that I can do it on auto-pilot, rarely drop the lace, and can read while doing it.

Let’s see, what else have I made? Purses, satchels, book covers, skirt hikes, jingle bell strips, belt frogs (to hang costume weapons from your belt), dog leashes, collars, and harnesses, Dracos has some chainmail jewelry, doll clothes and books, fox tails with swivels for people to wear, and I’m sure there’s more I’m forgetting. But years and years of belts and pouches as the core business.

Here’s a shot of about a third of a full 10’ x 20’ booth, IIRC at Anime Central about three years ago:
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...f4a6b1b212.jpg
That’s about half of the “One of Everything” assortment of belt styles/colors, and a fraction of other merchandise - the other pictures are blurry or have our sign in them. [emoji4]

I’d like to make tack for horses, and have several books about making tack. A few years ago I drooled over a 2-week course where you built a complete harness for a draft horse. Swoon. I have two McClellan (cavalry) saddles in storage that need to be stripped down to the trees and re-built (and one needs the tree repaired), and I started a saddle cantle bag, styled like one from the Civil War era, that I need to finish. Cavalry tack and accoutrements are so neat and could suck up all my time and energy.

Dracos going on the road as a truck driver has put a crimp in things in a couple ways: I kinda need him for the molding, as I just don’t have the upper-body strength to do a lot of it, as it requires stretching wet leather and setting big C-clamps really tight. Also, shortly after he left, we tore up the carpet in the dining room, which we’ve never dined in as it’s my work room. It’s still a disaster. Finally, setting up and running a 10’ x 20’ booth for an entire weekend requires him, me, his other partner, and ideally a couple-few other people for setup/teardown, plus hauling our small cargo trailer (I can go forward, haven’t learned to back it up), and the tetris game of loading it. Plus a lot of mental/emotional energy since I’m an introvert!

So I’ve switched to shorter events and Etsy. For the shorter events I only take what merchandise and gridwall I can fit into the pickup truck and bring in with a couple loads on the handtruck. We (my metamour and I) are doing a big craft fair at the local high school next month.

Wow, everyone else has such interesting lives! As I was once told, I am too young to complain about having an uninteresting life, but we'll see :D

I live in Somerset, UK which is a really nice county with a lot of green, and not much else lol. I didn't really have much to complain about, yeah I was the 'weird' kid at school (I once got listed as the 2nd most ugly person in the school, now that hurt!) but I had a good group of friends so it never bothered me too much, I worked hard and got pretty decent GCSEs. I went to a sixth-form at 16 (where I met my boyf), and after I turned 17 the amount of pressure put on me by my tutor and a select few of my teachers just wore me down, I was refused counselling, my tutor would call me in for meetings with my mum and talk shirtballs about me to her (he once said that I was failing because all I ever did was sit around on my boyf's lap... how inappropriate is that?? And also wrong, I was failing because every adult in that place told me I was a failure and refused to help) and eventually when I ended the year with two E grades I was done and left sixth form just shy of my 18th birthday.

I worked part-time at a supermarket (which was fun, if not full of drama; one of my boyf's exes worked the same department as me, and she tried to get me fired a few times, taking out of context things I had said about her years ago on texts and showing them to managers and the like.) Eventually I left to pursue an apprenticeship, and although I got accepted for interviews nothing really came of any of them.

Then, in the March after I had left college, I was watching the news and saw something about a college near by that would be offering uni courses. I knew then that I was ready to apply back to college, to try again to get my A-levels before it was too late (You have to pay if you're over 19 when the course starts, and it started a month before my birthday so I just had to!). So I applied, got accepted, and started college again. I am now coming up to my final exams (In June!!) and then, if I get Cs in them (Which looks likely!) I will be heading to university in September, studying Business Management as it's a passion of mine! I've always been trying to start up businesses; when I was about 5 I wanted to own a dog kennels :D Now I'm more aimed towards snakes but you never know!!

That's pretty much it really... apart from that, I am a lover of reading, writing, and cooking! Me and the boyf have been together for three years, we've have our ups and downs but we're going pretty strong :D And we have the snakes of course! It's been a bit of a bad week what with Peaches, but we'll work through it, we always do!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Booper

Wow, everyone else has such interesting lives! As I was once told, I am too young to complain about having an uninteresting life, but we'll see :D

I live in Somerset, UK which is a really nice county with a lot of green, and not much else lol. I didn't really have much to complain about, yeah I was the 'weird' kid at school (I once got listed as the 2nd most ugly person in the school, now that hurt!) but I had a good group of friends so it never bothered me too much, I worked hard and got pretty decent GCSEs. I went to a sixth-form at 16 (where I met my boyf), and after I turned 17 the amount of pressure put on me by my tutor and a select few of my teachers just wore me down, I was refused counselling, my tutor would call me in for meetings with my mum and talk shirtballs about me to her (he once said that I was failing because all I ever did was sit around on my boyf's lap... how inappropriate is that?? And also wrong, I was failing because every adult in that place told me I was a failure and refused to help) and eventually when I ended the year with two E grades I was done and left sixth form just shy of my 18th birthday.

I worked part-time at a supermarket (which was fun, if not full of drama; one of my boyf's exes worked the same department as me, and she tried to get me fired a few times, taking out of context things I had said about her years ago on texts and showing them to managers and the like.) Eventually I left to pursue an apprenticeship, and although I got accepted for interviews nothing really came of any of them.

Then, in the March after I had left college, I was watching the news and saw something about a college near by that would be offering uni courses. I knew then that I was ready to apply back to college, to try again to get my A-levels before it was too late (You have to pay if you're over 19 when the course starts, and it started a month before my birthday so I just had to!). So I applied, got accepted, and started college again. I am now coming up to my final exams (In June!!) and then, if I get Cs in them (Which looks likely!) I will be heading to university in September, studying Business Management as it's a passion of mine! I've always been trying to start up businesses; when I was about 5 I wanted to own a dog kennels :D Now I'm more aimed towards snakes but you never know!!

That's pretty much it really... apart from that, I am a lover of reading, writing, and cooking! Me and the boyf have been together for three years, we've have our ups and downs but we're going pretty strong :D And we have the snakes of course! It's been a bit of a bad week what with Peaches, but we'll work through it, we always do!

---

Whether long or short, every part of life matters, can be beautiful or sad, inspiring or depressing. And seem like a life time.

It seems to me that the pressures that were put upon you all but smothered you, but here you are. You emerged and you conquered. Its wonderful you get to study in the field you love, and I'm certain you will make a success out of it. You will have that business one day :)

Somerset !!!! Oh, the Beauty of it. To be able to actually live there and take walks in that beauty. I'm downright jealous. Your coast line is so dramatic and gorgeous. I think I would have to spend my days just sitting there, or walking there, staring out into the beautiful sea or landscape.

I loved the TV show "Broadchurch". Wasn't so sure while watching the first episode or two, but then it sucked me in and wow, what a great show it was. In part because of the beautiful scenery. I kept having my breath take away and I kept thinking to myself, how does anyone there get anything done? How I wish I could just sit there and stare...
Next time you look over the beautiful nature around you, think of me and how I wish I could do the same :)

About Peaches, things like this happen. It was a accident. Its quite apparent how much you two care about that snake. She will be alright. Kudos to you for doing the right thing and seeking a Vet to help you with this. I'm crossing fingers and toes that she will heal quickly and uneventfully.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Prognathodon

Thanks everyone.

Poly=Polyamorous, which in practical terms means that he has a second, long-term partner. I don’t, and really don’t want one. It was a lot of work to figure out, and learn to live with, both ways. He struggled with trying to remain monogamous for many years, but never cheated on me. Poly relationships can vary widely, but the important thing is that it’s ethical - everybody involved knows what’s going on, who’s dating/married to who, etc. Like LGBT people are just wired that way, poly people are just wired that way. It isn’t about more sex partners, it’s about love and caring. It wasn’t an easy decision, but I decided I was happier with him and him having a poly relationship than without him.

In Dracos’ ideal world, all three of us (him, me, and my metamour (partner’s partner that I’m not romantically involved with) would share one big house, with two kitchens, because otherwise there would be warfare. :) In reality . . . not so much on the one house thing. He knows that I need to feel like the primary partner, even though he doesn’t think of us as primary/secondary. Fortunately, he’s content with the two of us, a third would make things *really* crazy! My metamour and I are friends.

In 20/20 hindsight I likely suffered from depression for many many years before the poly thing got more serious. Working through that just identified it.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro

---

Wow - this is deep stuff !!!

The last part about depression.. are you saying that the whole business of sharing your fella 'caused' the depression or just emphasised it or neither ?!

I think he's a tremendously lucky guy to have such a loving , caring and understanding woman to tolerate him having another woman in his 'life' ...

I'd suggest that maybe most guys , me included , wouldn't mind sharing themselves with a few women partners :)

I'm also guessing that if I ran that idea past my wife I'd wake up in the morning a fully paid up eunuch !!



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Zincubus

Wow - this is deep stuff !!!
The last part about depression.. are you saying that the whole business of sharing your fella 'caused' the depression or just emphasised it or neither ?!

---

Made me realize it was already there. There were also some much more mundane things going on that also caused stress when I realized I have depression. It wasn’t until I was on an appropriate dose of anti-depressants that I realized how bad for how long it had been.

For me, depression doesn’t seem to manifest as being unable to function. I get dwelling on issues/ideas/emotions/whatever, and so unconsciously I end up doing ALL THE THINGS in order to drown out the brain weasels - if I’m busy following this knitting pattern while reading it fills up the brain with un-depression-ish thoughts. So now I don’t make as many things, but I can also relax and goof off and the brain weasels aren’t yammering away.



Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro

What makes me? Well first I'm an extrovert. I love being around people and feel very comfortable around strangers. I give a lot of presentations each year within and outside of the company I work for. Speaking to a crowd of 500 people actually puts me at ease.

I trust each and every person I meet and yes sometimes to a fault. When I have been burnt, forgiveness is not in my vocabulary.

At 56 I'm still very adventurous. I have no desire to ever retire. Working keeps me young I guess. Whether I'm teaching power plant fundamentals in a classroom, presenting at a conference, or climbing a 300 foot wind turbine tower, work is actually playtime for me.

As most of you have seen, I can get very passionate on some of my opinions and beliefs. Trust me, I'm still working on that part of me.

That's about it. I've really enjoyed the recent posts on the pictures of everyone and every picture I've seen is soooo beautiful. Between the beautiful ladies (yes everyone of you are a 10), the handsome gentlmen (now what happened to me I don't know LOL), and of course the gorgeous animals, how fun has this been?

Love you all and take care.

We all seem to be at both extremes ... introverted or extroverted :)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

Me:

i am an introvert. I spend all my people energy at work and I come home and sleep. If there is a party (I hate them) I stay close to my hubby or sit alone. I hate to mingle with people I don't know. I have a small group of people that I can be "me" while out and about. I am more of a one on one girl. If I go out I like just me and another person. I love just being in my house, on the couch, under a blanket either reading or being here lol.

I also am a tomboy, I usually prefer having male friends to females. I always wear jeans and usually a t shirt. I only get semi girly in summer lol. Usually jean shorts and a tank top.

I play D&D every week and my God is Mickey Mouse (apprentice). I'm not one for religion in any form but I am spiritual.

My kids are are most important. Emory is 18 and Eyleanna is 11.

I love old car shows. It is a thing my dad and I have together. My favorite car is a 57 Vette.

I am blunt, opinionated, and love control. The only person to keep me "kind of" in check would be the hubs. But that usually doesn't work either. Lol

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Momokahn

What makes me? Well first I'm an extrovert. I love being around people and feel very comfortable around strangers. I give a lot of presentations each year within and outside of the company I work for. Speaking to a crowd of 500 people actually puts me at ease.

I trust each and every person I meet and yes sometimes to a fault. When I have been burnt, forgiveness is not in my vocabulary.

At 56 I'm still very adventurous. I have no desire to ever retire. Working keeps me young I guess. Whether I'm teaching power plant fundamentals in a classroom, presenting at a conference, or climbing a 300 foot wind turbine tower, work is actually playtime for me.

As most of you have seen, I can get very passionate on some of my opinions and beliefs. Trust me, I'm still working on that part of me.

That's about it. I've really enjoyed the recent posts on the pictures of everyone and every picture I've seen is soooo beautiful. Between the beautiful ladies (yes everyone of you are a 10), the handsome gentlmen (now what happened to me I don't know LOL), and of course the gorgeous animals, how fun has this been?

Love you all and take care.

---

You sound like a fun person to be around. So very positive :)
I always thought its wonderful to have a job that one enjoys doing. After all, it takes up a large amount of time in life.
Not sure I would want to climb a 300 foot wind turbine tower, though, LOL.

Thank you for sharing :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sunnieskys

Me:

i am an introvert. I spend all my people energy at work and I come home and sleep. If there is a party (I hate them) I stay close to my hubby or sit alone. I hate to mingle with people I don't know. I have a small group of people that I can be "me" while out and about. I am more of a one on one girl. If I go out I like just me and another person. I love just being in my house, on the couch, under a blanket either reading or being here lol.

I also am a tomboy, I usually prefer having male friends to females. I always wear jeans and usually a t shirt. I only get semi girly in summer lol. Usually jean shorts and a tank top.

I play D&D every week and my God is Mickey Mouse (apprentice). I'm not one for religion in any form but I am spiritual.

My kids are are most important. Emory is 18 and Eyleanna is 11.

I love old car shows. It is a thing my dad and I have together. My favorite car is a 57 Vette.

I am blunt, opinionated, and love control. The only person to keep me "kind of" in check would be the hubs. But that usually doesn't work either. Lol

---

Same here, not much on parties and get together's where I don't know many people. There usually isn't that much common ground, most other ladies like to discuss clothes, jewelry and those stupid shows like The Bachelor. Not to many others that enjoy animals like reptiles, trucks and the outdoors. :D

Like you, I enjoy spending time at home, but I also like to be outdoors. Just not in crowds.

I had to laugh about your Jeans and Tshirt comment. Is there something else to wear? LOL

I love the outdoors. Camping, hiking. I also like fishing. I love seeing deer or elk. They are magestic to me and I could watch them for hours.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sunnieskys

Me:

i am an introvert. I spend all my people energy at work and I come home and sleep. If there is a party (I hate them) I stay close to my hubby or sit alone. I hate to mingle with people I don't know. I have a small group of people that I can be "me" while out and about. I am more of a one on one girl. If I go out I like just me and another person. I love just being in my house, on the couch, under a blanket either reading or being here lol.

I also am a tomboy, I usually prefer having male friends to females. I always wear jeans and usually a t shirt. I only get semi girly in summer lol. Usually jean shorts and a tank top.

I play D&D every week and my God is Mickey Mouse (apprentice). I'm not one for religion in any form but I am spiritual.

My kids are are most important. Emory is 18 and Eyleanna is 11.

I love old car shows. It is a thing my dad and I have together. My favorite car is a 57 Vette.

I am blunt, opinionated, and love control. The only person to keep me "kind of" in check would be the hubs. But that usually doesn't work either. Lol

---

May I ask what D&D is ??




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

Dungeon and dragons.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sunnieskys

Dungeon and dragons.

---

Ahhh ...

Thought it was something to do with Disney from what you said :)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Zincubus

Well you saved me a lot of work as I'm basically you - without the pretty face and fabulous legs [emoji4]

Everything you said just describes me .

You've covered everything apart from me being Aspergers and all that entails ... some brilliant things but many not so brilliant .... .

I've worked with Autistic & Asperger teenagers for the last 22 years .. still going strong - of course it's easier for me than my colleagues as I know how the kids are feeling ...

I just get immense satisfaction from getting these 'special young people' through the nightmare of High School ... I hated my time at school and I couldn't wait to get out [emoji4]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

---

Oooopps .. forgot to add this little snippet.. it's not really about me but it may amuse a few of you and may annoy as many others ..

This is my son [emoji4]

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...fa0bce2fec.jpg

and again on the left :)https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...37f996ee02.jpg

... and on the right
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...410f239ff6.jpg

Best of all , here he is with his wife :)
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...dbe50b08be.jpg

This is her in the limelight !

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...d75c39c593.jpghttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...e770d41fce.jpg





Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by zina10

You sound like a fun person to be around. So very positive :)
I always thought its wonderful to have a job that one enjoys doing. After all, it takes up a large amount of time in life.
Not sure I would want to climb a 300 foot wind turbine tower, though, LOL.

Thank you for sharing :)

---

In any situation zina, I always look for the positives. Making people laugh and smile is something I live for everyday. Whether it is my family, co-workers, or total strangers, I'm an equal opportunity provider of making people smile, or at least trying.

Standing atop a wind turbine nacelle is something I know you would enjoy zina. Feeling the structure slightly swaying under your feet is a feeling like no other. I have a pic on my work computer. I will post it later.

Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk