Twenty years old and I still can't talk to girls....fml

Sounds to me like your putting Waay to much pressure on yourself and that when you see a girl you want to talk to you are building it up into this huge deal that its not. So first off you need to relax. Realize that its ok to be nervous and that its also ok to open with that. Mention that you actually get really nervous when you try to talk to girls. Not only will it break the ice, but most likely she will enjoy your honesty, feel flattered that you decided that she was worth talking to despite your anxiety and at the very least you will get a good conversation out of it (and a little bit of practice to boot). :P

Im not able to read through all the pages, but i do not envy you being in Knox and not being able to pick-up chicks.

My advice is to not try so hard, you need to crash to learn the art and remember that nice guys don't finish first

There is a girl in my Psychology class that makes my heart race every time I see her. She's no super model but damn, when I see her all I can think is that she has got to be one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. I went to high school with her and have never worked up the nerve to talk to her. Spring break is March 5-10 but it is just so conveniently scheduled to give me eleven days off from school. Maybe i'll practice while we're out and talk to her when we come back ;)

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Originally Posted by rperry03

Im not able to read through all the pages, but i do not envy you being in Knox and not being able to pick-up chicks.

My advice is to not try so hard, you need to crash to learn the art and remember that nice guys don't finish first

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That's not true! I went from a horrible marriage right into a toxic relationship and was tied down to -ahem- jerks (understatement) for longer than they deserved. My boyfriend wanted to date me for so long, and he was obnoxious about it! I kept him in the friend zone and started dating. As each one crashed and burned I realized that I belong with him. And, he's a nice guy, usually :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by evan385

There is a girl in my Psychology class that makes my heart race every time I see her. She's no super model but damn, when I see her all I can think is that she has got to be one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. I went to high school with her and have never worked up the nerve to talk to her. Spring break is March 5-10 but it is just so conveniently scheduled to give me eleven days off from school. Maybe i'll practice while we're out and talk to her when we come back ;)

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She may not be available then. If you want something, go for it. Procrastination won't make it any easier. Wouldn't you be kicking your own behind if you got back from break, finally got up the nerve to ask her out and she stops you by saying "I'm sorry I JUST started seeing someone." Don't let it get to that point. Women are intimidating, I wanted to high-five quite a few of the guys that have ever had the nerve to approach me. But don't wait! Keep it low key, ask her if she wants to grab coffee, or if you could take her out for dinner some night. It doesn't have to be this huge deal unless you make it that way. Confidence goes a long way, it took me a long time to learn that. You don't have to be Brad Pitt to get the girl you want :)

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Originally Posted by evan385

There is a girl in my Psychology class that makes my heart race every time I see her. She's no super model but damn, when I see her all I can think is that she has got to be one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. I went to high school with her and have never worked up the nerve to talk to her. Spring break is March 5-10 but it is just so conveniently scheduled to give me eleven days off from school. Maybe i'll practice while we're out and talk to her when we come back ;)

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hahaha go big or go home! I like your attitude! Get'm coach! :gj::gj::gj::banana:

I'm not very good at talking to girls either.. Especially if I have to break the ice and come up with something... The girls I've been with have started the conversation o_O.. I guess I'm lucky.. Girls love long hair LOL.... That's normally the first thing they say which immediately breaks the ice :D. "Wow love your hair!" me: Thanks, your hair is so much nicer though! "Thanks! how long have you been growing your hair?!" LOL... It gets a bit boring if it stays on the hair.. especially since i've heard it all before >_>.. "you look like -----" lol. Trust me.. I've heard it T.T....

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Originally Posted by LGray23

You don't have to be Brad Pitt to get the girl you want :)

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It would make it a helluva lot easier though :P

Well it's a little too late now. That class was at 9:00 so she's in a different class by now. I'll probably see her again in the open computer lab later on, I usually do. I can only cross my fingers and hope for the best. She's probably already with someone though, I seriously doubt that she's single. Can't hurt to try though.

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Originally Posted by evan385

Can't hurt to try though.

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That a boy!

Good luck! We're rooting for you!

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Originally Posted by satomi325

That a boy!

Good luck! We're rooting for you!

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Thank you, I love you all :)

Hey, I didnt read every post on this one. But There is a good book..

"how to Start a Conversation and make friends" by Don Gabor..

Order and read it several times!!!

Just a thought!

I also find that corny humor is good but you need to say it in such a way that it shows you know its corny but are just kidding around and having fun. If she has a good sense of humor and is decently clever it works.

Thats how i tricked my girlfriend into thinking i am funny and into dating me.

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Originally Posted by evan385

Well it's a little too late now. That class was at 9:00 so she's in a different class by now. I'll probably see her again in the open computer lab later on, I usually do. I can only cross my fingers and hope for the best. She's probably already with someone though, I seriously doubt that she's single. Can't hurt to try though.

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Good luck! And you'd be surprised at how many pretty girls are single because guys assume they aren't and never ask them out!

sent from my EVO

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Originally Posted by tcutting

I also find that corny humor is good but you need to say it in such a way that it shows you know its corny but are just kidding around and having fun. If she has a good sense of humor and is decently clever it works.

Thats how i tricked my girlfriend into thinking i am funny and into dating me.

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Can't believe she fell for that :P

Apparently i'm good looking enough that girls want to talk to me so what am I waiting for? I have almost six hundred secret admirers on myyearbook and about three hundred of them are from today lol

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Originally Posted by evan385

Well it's a little too late now. That class was at 9:00 so she's in a different class by now. I'll probably see her again in the open computer lab later on, I usually do. I can only cross my fingers and hope for the best. She's probably already with someone though, I seriously doubt that she's single. Can't hurt to try though.

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There's no point in assuming if she's single or not, just go for it! If she's taken, then just back off.

At work, a customer assumed that I was taken (he worked in the store next to mine, so I've seen him come in a few times) and told one of my coworkers that he thought that I was pretty etc.. but that there was no way that I was single, so he never came up and talked to me. But do you know what? In my head I was thinking about how I would like to get to know him, but I didn't think that he was interested in me. Ha.

He hasn't been back in the store since December.. I think he changed jobs. :( So I never got a chance to react once I found out that he liked me. But I guess that's life.

So never assume, or else you might miss your chance! :)

Oh my god it just went up to 750! The ladies are loving me today xD

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Originally Posted by Cupid

There's no point in assuming if she's single or not, just go for it! If she's taken, then just back off.

At work, a customer assumed that I was taken (he worked in the store next to mine, so I've seen him come in a few times) and told one of my coworkers that he thought that I was pretty etc.. but that there was no way that I was single, so he never came up and talked to me. But do you know what? In my head I was thinking about how I would like to get to know him, but I didn't think that he was interested in me. Ha.

He hasn't been back in the store since December.. I think he changed jobs. :( So I never got a chance to react once I found out that he liked me. But I guess that's life.

So never assume, or else you might miss your chance! :)

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Thank you, I guess i'll find out if I see her again today :)

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Originally Posted by Raptor

I gotta say. The fastest way for me to write off a guy is if he thinks/acts like a pimp.

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To a certain extent I call bull. The point is not to act like a pimp but to act with confidence. In general people respond to confidence. "Fake it till you make it" is excellent advice in this regard. So where I am sure you would write of a guy who acts like a pimp I would be willing to bet that you respond to confidence.

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Originally Posted by evan385

Thank you all. I wish I had time to reply to all of your posts but sadly I work third shift at Denso and i'm on about an hour of sleep. Tuesdays and Thursdays are basically school and try to get some sleep between classes. Which is another factor. Even when I don't have school, after sleep, driving, and whatever else I have to do I have about a maximum of five hours free time. But realistically it's about four give or take thirty minutes and even less if I decide to hit the gym. This is why I have no social life. Guess i'll have to start partying on my one night off. Another thing and I won't go into much detail about it, I was with a very sweet girl for what will be three years on March 3rd. Not going to say it was the perfect relationship or even anything close. Hell it was long distance, she lied about her age for the first six months to make me believe she was only one year younger than me, and her mother intervened more than once. But still, I was sure beyond any doubts that we would be together come next year and that I would spend the rest of my life with this girl. For whatever reason she up and disappeared out of nowhere almost three months ago. So I also have issues with trust and depression.

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You have to make a point to come into contact with women its key to the whole talking to them thing. Just flat out don't date someone who is living with their parents if you can avoid it. No offense but long distance relationships rarely work unless you have a serious plan. If you are not interacting face to face with a person you aren't really interacting with that person. You are interacting with your idealized image of that person. Face to face or it doesn't really count. Chances are really really good that you are not going to spend the rest of your life with the person you are with at age 20. Ten people will now chime in about how they are. Fact of the matter is that the majority of people are not. The sooner you accept that you are not the exception to the rule the better. Think about it like this. You may win the lottery in the future but you shouldn't live your life assuming you are going to. You may end up being with the next person you fall for for the rest of your life that doesn't mean you should have unrealistic expectations. Focus on today.

Here is something I tell people all the time and at first they think its horrible.

I don't have faith that my wife and I will be together forever. There are things that she could do that would make me want to leave her. There are things she could do that would make me want to leave her. I can't promise her I will always love her. I can't promise we will be together no matter what...forever.

Now here is the part that's important.

Because I believe all of that I work hard ever day to keep our relationship strong. I cherish every day that we are in love. I work hard to never take her for granted or to abuse her trust in me. I strive to have a life of my own. She fell in love with a confident independent man. It makes no sense to become co-dependent. She is the same way and more attractive than me by a decent amount. I know that if I screw up a better man will snatch her up in no time. So I fight to be a better man and partner. We have been together for 7 years. I plan to be with her until the day I die and we both realize that our plan takes work. But its a job we love.

So long story short, trust needs to be earned, so you only have a problem with trust if you don't give people the chance to earn your trust.

If you see her in the computer lab later go up and talk to her about your psych class. Or just go ask her a question about something in the class. Ask her if shes started a certain paper yet, what she thinks about something you learned in the class, or if you wanna study for something together. It doesnt have to be about psych but since your in the same class thatd be a good common starting point.

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

If you see her in the computer lab later go up and talk to her about your psych class. Or just go ask her a question about something in the class. Ask her if shes started a certain paper yet, what she thinks about something you learned in the class, or if you wanna study for something together. It doesnt have to be about psych but since your in the same class thatd be a good common starting point.

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I'll try. Probably crash and burn which is why I wanted to practice lol

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

If you see her in the computer lab later go up and talk to her about your psych class. Or just go ask her a question about something in the class. Ask her if shes started a certain paper yet, what she thinks about something you learned in the class, or if you wanna study for something together. It doesnt have to be about psych but since your in the same class thatd be a good common starting point.

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This!!
Perfect opportunity with the perfect starter topic.

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Originally Posted by Egapal

To a certain extent I call bull. The point is not to act like a pimp but to act with confidence. In general people respond to confidence. "Fake it till you make it" is excellent advice in this regard. So where I am sure you would write of a guy who acts like a pimp I would be willing to bet that you respond to confidence.

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There's a big difference between acting like a pimp and acting confident. Although, I'd also be hesitant of a guy who was confident to the point of being cocky. Not interested in someone who thinks an entire relationship is about him.

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Originally Posted by satomi325

This!!
Perfect opportunity with the perfect starter topic.

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Well hopefully I see her again today :)

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Originally Posted by evan385

I'll try. Probably crash and burn which is why I wanted to practice lol

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NO NO NO!!! From the wise words of Yoda: "There is no try, only do and do not!"
You are going to talk to her if you see her and you are not going to crash and burn. Your going to be funny and nice just how you talk to everyone on here. Remember you gotta get in the confidence mindset. Wake up in the morning and piss confidence. Have a nice bowl of confidence O's. Then wash it down with a big glass of confidence juice! lmfao

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

NO NO NO!!! From the wise words of Yoda: "There is no try, only do and do not!"
You are going to talk to her if you see her and you are not going to crash and burn. Your going to be funny and nice just how you talk to everyone on here. Remember you gotta get in the confidence mindset. Wake up in the morning and piss confidence. Have a nice bowl of confidence O's. Then wash it down with a big glass of confidence juice! lmfao

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Thank you, i'll just do it then. And if I don't see her i'll tear up the local bars/clubs Saturday night xD

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

! From the wise words of Yoda: "There is no try, only do and do not!"

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You got Yoda's backwards sentence backwards!

It's "Do or do not. There is no try". :P


(hardcore star wars fangirl right here!)

Looks like my pimp statment got taken out of context. let me break it down.
ooooo,, thats smokin : does not mean on fire
ooooo,, thats cool : does not mean frozen
me,, in just chillin : does not mean im cold
thats def!: does not mean it cant hear
THATS PIMP! : does NOT mean soliciting prostitution,,, just means its cool,, wich means nice,, (not frozen)..
I wasent trying to tell the guy to go out and smackaho (as a pimp might) just trying to say go out, play it cool (not to get cold) and be confident.:rofl:
spooky

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Originally Posted by mr.spooky

Looks like my pimp statment got taken out of context. let me break it down.
ooooo,, thats smokin : does not mean on fire
ooooo,, thats cool : does not mean frozen
me,, in just chillin : does not mean im cold
thats def!: does not mean it cant hear
THATS PIMP! : does NOT mean solisiting prostitution,,, just means its cool,, wich means nice,, (not frozen)..
I wasent trying to tell the guy to go out and smackaho (as a pimp might) just trying to say go out, play it cool (not to get cold) and be confident.:rofl:
spooky

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LOL this made me laugh. :rofl:

Although, when I first read your Pimp statement, the first thing that came to mind was, "conceited guy who thinks they can get all/any girls they want." I don't really consider ia pimp to be what you described it to be anymore... lol...generation difference maybe?? :\

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Originally Posted by satomi325

LOL this made me laugh. :rofl:

Although, when I first read your Pimp statement, the first thing that came to mind was, "conceited guy who thinks they can get all/any girls they want." I don't really consider ia pimp to be what you described it to be anymore... lol...generation difference maybe?? :\

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im in my upper 30's. but im still ILL (not sick).
spooky

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Originally Posted by satomi325

You got Yoda's backwards sentence backwards!

It's "Do or do not. There is no try". :P


(hardcore star wars fangirl right here!)

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My apologies chica!

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Originally Posted by mr.spooky

im in my upper 30's. but im still ILL (not sick).
spooky

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Also have to take into consideration location and ethnic group. Words will have different meaning in different areas. I.e "Sick" could mean someone is ill or perverted, which is the main usage in my area. It could also mean that something is awesome.

I open up with a magic trick and talk like Napoleon Dynamite.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Evan: The fear comes from setting the goal too high. With relationships, as with love making, the journey counts more than the end result.

Do not look beyond a pleasant conversation as the first step in a long process. If you can't get through that, then just move on. Let it build.

Also, if you want to catch fish, you have to bait the hook. Appearance and demeaner count but don't try to be something you're not.

Women love the pursuit as much as men. Being around women attracts more women.

Enjoy your youth.

John

If you go to Www.menshealth.com they have a section on dating ect. and alot of the articles are interviews from everyday people off the street. not gonna lie I go on the occasionally and check it out, it seems useful, then after i read it i ask my female friends if certain things are true or would work, usually they agree :rolleyes:

Also, do not call a girl "shawty", no self respecting woman will respond to that. lol. (I hate when I hear guys say that)

be yourself. no one likes someone who constantly pretends to be something there not.

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Originally Posted by snake lab

Ok heres my advice. When you go up to a girl, under no circumstance do you open with hey ya wanna see my snake. Now since thats out of the way its easy. Girls your age dont care about what you have to say. They care about what you think of them, just talk about them and you got it made. Just make sure noone with a cell phone camera is around if you do get rejected or else it will be all over youtube. Thank god there wasnt youtube in 1993. I would have been screwed hahahah.

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I cant stop laughing hahahahah:bow::rofl:

Well no luck, didn't even get to see her again. Be two weeks before I do. Oh well.

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Originally Posted by evan385

Well no luck, didn't even get to see her again. Be two weeks before I do. Oh well.

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That means 2 weeks to practice on other chicks ;)

Do you happen to work somewhere with alot of women? I work in a nursing home so 95% of the nurses and CNA's are women. Not a big deal to talk with people you have to see everyday lol.

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

That means 2 weeks to practice on other chicks ;)

Do you happen to work somewhere with alot of women? I work in a nursing home so 95% of the nurses and CNA's are women. Not a big deal to talk with people you have to see everyday lol.

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^^^
this is what you must do. you must practice your hunting skills on small game before hunting the ultimate prey...

that almost sounded creepy... but you get the point.

I was/am the same way bro. If I didn't meet my gf in highschool (fyi 2 years going strong next month!) I would still be single I assure you. The only way I could ever talk to girls was via text or internet. I had/have 0 confidence and 0 self-esteem. I was never popular or anything. I mean in hs I did have tons of girls but nothing lasting more than a month or two and it all started over fbook. I forced myself to go to costa rica twice for 3 weeks each to gain the ability to talk to strangers and it helped quite a bit. But I still have trouble calling to make appointments or ask a question from a business or something. I work at an animal hospital so 99% of the people I work with are chicks....and I agree with above its super easy when your forced to talk to them and in reality....they won't bite! Being shut down is part of life...just move on. Lifes to short to waste time analyzing everything. Just do it. I love my gf to death but if we broke up for whatever reason the games back on and I'm not going to sit around and waste time being depressed about it. Start off small, talk to a girl at work...you don't need tk be attracted to her...its good practice and move up from there and before you know it you'll be go to go.

Hope you figure it out bro!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I897 using Tapatalk

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Originally Posted by evan385

Well no luck, didn't even get to see her again. Be two weeks before I do. Oh well.

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dont sweat it man girls come an go mostly go for me but still haha my advice is theres plenty of fish in the sea go liv a lil an dont let one drag you down.

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

That means 2 weeks to practice on other chicks ;)

Do you happen to work somewhere with alot of women? I work in a nursing home so 95% of the nurses and CNA's are women. Not a big deal to talk with people you have to see everyday lol.

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LOL no, I work at Denso with a bunch of guys and one older lady. I got the guts to talk to another girl and she invited me to spend my night off with her. She's very pretty, very sweet, down to earth, has her own place, has a decent job, and she likes reptiles including snakes. She does have a kid but i'm okay with that.

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Originally Posted by evan385

LOL no, I work at Denso with a bunch of guys and one older lady. I got the guts to talk to another girl and she invited me to spend my night off with her. She's very pretty, very sweet, down to earth, has her own place, has a decent job, and she likes reptiles including snakes. She does have a kid but i'm okay with that.

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Good for you bud, im happy for you! I personally hate kids lol but thats for a different thread.

Easy.

I've posted this here before, but I find it extremely useful. If you take the time to study a few of the lines these slick cats use...you will have no trouble speaking with a woman. Guaranteed.

Fire Breathing Dragon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bomkgXeDkE

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

Good for you bud, im happy for you! I personally hate kids lol but thats for a different thread.

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WOW! ahahaha. you crazy Mike.


Honestly brah, Your still young. Just know you got nothing to lose. Also you have one life, one chance to do what you feel like. So do your thing baby! Be confident and own it. Women can smell lack of confidence.

You gotta understand that girls put on their pants the same way you do.... One leg at a time:D

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Originally Posted by KingPythons

WOW! ahahaha. you crazy Mike.


Honestly brah, Your still young. Just know you got nothing to lose. Also you have one life, one chance to do what you feel like. So do your thing baby! Be confident and own it. Women can smell lack of confidence.

You gotta understand that girls put on their pants the same way you do.... One leg at a time:D

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Let me rephrase: i hate spoiled, annoying, misbehaved kids. Well behave and polite ones are fine with me lol. Theyre just far and few between.

You need to go to a bar where you don't know anyone, and just talk to every girl you can. Don't go in there planning to get turned down by every girl or to get a bunch of numbers, just go in there planning to chat with a few different girls. If you aren't trying to make them your girlfriend then they can't reject you. Don't take it so personal if the girl isn't interested ;)

I'm a very nice person to guys that come up and talk to me in a respectable way, as soon as a guy says something to make me feel below him, or just an object, I'm a royal witch. Most girls will at least be polite if you treat them with respect and casually talk to them. Even if you strike out, say they have a boyfriend or they aren't interested in talking to you, just say something funny. Making a girl laugh is the best thing you can do. I'm not sure if you feel comfortable joking around with girls but if she tells you she's not interested or has a boyfriend you can say something like, "easy there, I was just making friendly conversation" with a smile. If you can make her laugh it takes all the awkwardness out of a situation like that. If she has a boyfriend talk to her a little more then move on, don't be weird about it.

In my experience nearly every decent person you speak to will be at least somewhat friendly, just because you said hello and smiled.

People generally like making friends and meeting people. Their standards are forgiving and basic. Unless their social life is status-driven, in which case you probably dodged a bullet.

Course sometimes people just want to be left alone, which you shouldn't over-analyze.

It just sucks having something like this go for so long. I think you fall into a rut and start to identify yourself with this problem, and that's when it starts getting depressing and turns into a self-perpetuating cycle.

The good thing is that once you break the cycle and have success once or twice, it gets easier pretty quickly.

Yeah I don't know if I want to see her again. If it was just the kid it would be alright. But she did a lot of stuff that I didn't like. We sat at Taco Bell with one of her ex's for the first half hour or so. Then we went to Wal-Mart to get some candles. Then and yes I am very serious, she took me on a drug deal. At Wal-Mart, left her kid with me and her customer who was apparently another ex. Later, while it didn't happen she was trying to get her baby daddy to come see his kid. After that she told me that like four friends were coming over to smoke. Good thing they didn't text back. I don't know how they do it in Athens but where I come from her behavior the entire night was extremely rude for a first date. I even brought her roses. Anyways I talked to a girl on first shift when I got off this morning. Pretty girls still scare the poo out of me but at least I can talk to them now lol

Drug dealing single mom who dumps the kid on you and has exes all over town?

Sounds like a winner.

Maybe your problem is that you're in Knoxville :rolleye2: