How do I make people stop being afraid?

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Originally Posted by KMG

I have to disagree. Small dogs have a far more damaging bite than a ball python. I would never compare the two. I would tell them a bp bite is comparable to rubbing against Velcro.

As for not being able to take your snake to visit...even in a locking tub. I don't get it. Why take them out of their comfy home to set in conditions that are less than ideal just to be around people that don't want it there? I know your proud to own your snake but I have never been one to want to cart mine around to let people with a fear of them see it.

If people have a fear of them let them come to you. Dont go to them. How bad would it be if a snake stressed from travel tagged somebody like that? They would never change their pov then.

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Agree about the bite. I'm not taking them to the homes of people that don't want to see them, I wouldn't be that insensitive. And it's more for the snake's comfort, like you said. No need to stress out a "helpless" animal who has no choice in it. When I take them, it's to public places where they are welcome other than these chosen few. It was a bad weekend with a person that we know, guess I'm still taking it to heart.

Gotcha. Good deal.

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Originally Posted by stloria

I know this is something we've all dealt with at some point... "The Fear." I used to have it, a little. I was unhappy to be in the same room as a snake, but I wouldn't lose my mind over it. Now that I am completely in love and addicted to snakes, my fiance and I are intending to do some education. We take our guys out to the park for sunshine, and gladly answer questions and let people take photos. No one is allowed to handle them.
This is great. I love it. However.

tl;dr version:

My mother, brother-in-law, some friends, absolutely lose their minds over them. I mean, shuddering, running away (seriously, grown people running away from a 3 foot ball), and getting downright angry with me for having them around. How do I handle this? How do I get these people to realize that my ball python would rather sleep around my neck than bite them? "Is it poison?" (no, it is not venomous.) "Won't it choke you to death?" (not unless I am unconscious already and he doesn't get bored before crushing my windpipe) "He's going to try to eat you!" No, not really, I don't smell like rats.

I know we can't win everyone over, but omg... I'm getting upset! Like, actually, ragey and teary upset. I don't know what to do. I hate their little yappy dogs that make me itch (I'm allergic), but I'm not allowed to bring my baby in his sterilite tub that locks?

I guess I'm done whining. I don't know what to do... thanks for letting me vent, and thanks for any insight.

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Why take them anywhere? Your snakes aren't getting anything out of a trip to the park, the pet store, etc.

Do what you do for YOURSELF. Be passionate about things that make YOU happy. Why is it important that other people share your passion? If it is moving you to the point of being emotional, then the problem lies within.

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Originally Posted by Skiploder

Why take them anywhere? Your snakes aren't getting anything out of a trip to the park, the pet store, etc.

Do what you do for YOURSELF. Be passionate about things that make YOU happy. Why is it important that other people share your passion? If it is moving you to the point of being emotional, then the problem lies within.

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Again, I'm not asking them to share it, just asking for them to be respectful. I see I won't ever get that though. When we take them out, it's for education or to people who ask. We don't just take them wherever. But yeah, I see your point.

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Originally Posted by stloria

I'm aware I went off. I did say I ended up venting. I apologize. In don't expect them to share the passion. I just want to know how to get the same respect they expect when they bring animals around that physically affect me, or think it's adorable when a dirty dog jumps on me. I've voiced my issue with this, but I just get "they're icky." I do not force the animal on them. But I am sick of not getting the same respect.

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I share your sentiment here. I feel the same regarding when people are presumptious that I love their animals, or anything for that matter - because they do. I also try and keep in mind that I am not perfect and I cannot expect said people to be perfect; in a perfect world we would all understand that we all have tastes and distastes and that we would all respect each others'. That said, going out of your comfort zone can be immensely rewarding, as you have experienced. But a perfect world's inhabitants would understand that too, and maybe the perfect people would stretch their comfort zones to the level that resulted in the greatest fulfillment of their lives.

But, we don't live in a perfect world; as such some people will be more open to stretching that zone and some won't, and it must be mentioned that some people do have concrete irrational fears that they cannot get over, or just don't want to. I have a pretty irrational fear of spiders even though I know and respect that so many people, including those in this forum, love them with a passion. I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable holding a big T(arantula). I've exposed myself to them and still can't really shake it, even though I am an animal lover and think they deserve the same respect I give cats and snakes and other cool things. And I would ask a T enthusiast to respect my irrational fear.

If your family is not willing to even enter the realm of stretching their comfort zones, whether or not they have that irrational fear like I do, I think it should be respected. I am all for educating and stretching to the max, but at the will of the parties in question. If they don't have that irrational fear and are just ignorant, and refuse to give your animals or you the respect you/they deserve, then that is simply unfortunate, and boils down to the "we can't choose our family" clause. But you have family here :)

Maybe that was helpful in some way. :D

It is, for lack of a better word, "disappointing" when your family and friends don't also like reptiles.. Or even worse, when they actively dislike your hobby. Fortunately for me, even when my family doesn't like the snakes, they don't say much about it.

For my part, I don't subject them to the snakes when they're over. Unless they ask to see them, the snakes stay tucked away in their room. I am lucky that my husband also likes the snakes. He's not as into them as me but he does like to handle them and feed them, etc. The rest of my immediate family, however, has a negative reaction to them.

I would just suggest that you don't take the snakes out around these family members, but occasionally mention snake stuff around them and maybe one day they'll start asking questions and it might go somewhere. I agree that the low-maintenance aspect of the snakes can be a good "selling point" and also that they are free of odor and don't make noise. These talking points do seem to make people perk up. I also usually make sure that I have some photos of my snakes on my phone so that if someone acts even the least bit interested, I can pull up some pics to show them.

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Originally Posted by Heeltoeclutch

I share your sentiment here. I feel the same regarding when people are presumptious that I love their animals, or anything for that matter - because they do. I also try and keep in mind that I am not perfect and I cannot expect said people to be perfect; in a perfect world we would all understand that we all have tastes and distastes and that we would all respect each others'. That said, going out of your comfort zone can be immensely rewarding, as you have experienced. But a perfect world's inhabitants would understand that too, and maybe the perfect people would stretch their comfort zones to the level that resulted in the greatest fulfillment of their lives.

But, we don't live in a perfect world; as such some people will be more open to stretching that zone and some won't, and it must be mentioned that some people do have concrete irrational fears that they cannot get over, or just don't want to. I have a pretty irrational fear of spiders even though I know and respect that so many people, including those in this forum, love them with a passion. I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable holding a big T(arantula). I've exposed myself to them and still can't really shake it, even though I am an animal lover and think they deserve the same respect I give cats and snakes and other cool things. And I would ask a T enthusiast to respect my irrational fear.

If your family is not willing to even enter the realm of stretching their comfort zones, whether or not they have that irrational fear like I do, I think it should be respected. I am all for educating and stretching to the max, but at the will of the parties in question. If they don't have that irrational fear and are just ignorant, and refuse to give your animals or you the respect you/they deserve, then that is simply unfortunate, and boils down to the "we can't choose our family" clause. But you have family here :)

Maybe that was helpful in some way. :D

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It was helpful, thanks. I share the spider thing, so I guess I just have to think of it that way. As I said earlier, I think maybe I am just hot over the immediacy of events this weekend. I want to educate, we are trying to get an education program together, and it just seems so counterproductive when I have to "deal" with people like that. So, I won't. It definitely dampers my plans right now, but it will work out.

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Originally Posted by artgecko

It is, for lack of a better word, "disappointing" when your family and friends don't also like reptiles.. Or even worse, when they actively dislike your hobby. Fortunately for me, even when my family doesn't like the snakes, they don't say much about it.

For my part, I don't subject them to the snakes when they're over. Unless they ask to see them, the snakes stay tucked away in their room. I am lucky that my husband also likes the snakes. He's not as into them as me but he does like to handle them and feed them, etc. The rest of my immediate family, however, has a negative reaction to them.

I would just suggest that you don't take the snakes out around these family members, but occasionally mention snake stuff around them and maybe one day they'll start asking questions and it might go somewhere. I agree that the low-maintenance aspect of the snakes can be a good "selling point" and also that they are free of odor and don't make noise. These talking points do seem to make people perk up. I also usually make sure that I have some photos of my snakes on my phone so that if someone acts even the least bit interested, I can pull up some pics to show them.

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I definitely don't take them out around them. There is one who seems to have suddenly "developed" this irrational fear, so I have no idea what happened, and he won't talk about it other than "they're evil." I assume someone had a conversation with him, and he won't talk about it with me or my fiance no matter how we try to bring it up. One day they fascinated him and he touched them, the next he was running away. Grown adult, running to the next room. Can't explain it, won't try to figure it out. But I do keep pictures, and I'm getting closer to brining my mom around... she even said the BPs have cute faces. Victory!

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Originally Posted by stloria

I definitely don't take them out around them. There is one who seems to have suddenly "developed" this irrational fear, so I have no idea what happened, and he won't talk about it other than "they're evil." I assume someone had a conversation with him, and he won't talk about it with me or my fiance no matter how we try to bring it up. One day they fascinated him and he touched them, the next he was running away. Grown adult, running to the next room. Can't explain it, won't try to figure it out. But I do keep pictures, and I'm getting closer to brining my mom around... she even said the BPs have cute faces. Victory!

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They certainly do :) maybe someday my mom will hold a snake. Or maybe I'll see a toaster flapping its way across the infinite blue.

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Originally Posted by stloria

Again, I'm not asking them to share it, just asking for them to be respectful. I see I won't ever get that though. When we take them out, it's for education or to people who ask. We don't just take them wherever. But yeah, I see your point.

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No when you take them out it's for ATTENTION, you want to educate you do so in an indoor setting (schools etc) and it is something planned, you don't take them to a park and subject anyone walking by to your snakes.

This hobby is under tremendous scrutiny so we don't need people to take their snake to a park all it take is one by stander and in no time you end up in the news, and it will make all of us look bad.

You want to educate as you claim do it in the proper setting.

That to me is a much bigger issue then your family not liking your snakes.


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