Do you think it's ok?

My ex I was with for five years did this to me, after she moved into my house it was the worst. She refused to work instead I paid all bills and bought her everything she needed to survive an she would still take my debit card an buy unneeded crap an the budget be damned. I booted her out after she made my tax return disappear

Bills are always primary. As soon as I get paid, we go out and have a good meal. Then that night we sit down pay all the bills (they're all online) and then we know what's left. Now we're saving up, and we normally have expenses (crickets, paper towels, groceries), but do pretty well. We've only ever paid one bill late.

My wife isn't comfortable spending large amounts of money. In fact if she goes over the 25 dollar mark I hear about it. Same for me, usually she's with me when I buy something expensive. So, I never really hide anything and neither does she.

If your significant other is unemployed they damn sure better not be spending anything on anything besides what they made themselves on extra food. I donate plasma for bs money, and that funds my cravings and stuff. I don't spend OUR money on anything but bills and stuff for US.

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Originally Posted by NormanSnake

Do you think it's ok for spouses/partners to hide purchases from each other? I mean, I can see if you were doing well and didn't have bills to pay, but what about if you did have bills to pay and your spouse spent a considerable amount of money and hid it from you? Just wanting to get some opinions.

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^ Based on this, I have to disagree with Andy's first statement.

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Originally Posted by Andybill

Only if its a special occasion and its meant to be a surprise.

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I don't care how awesome it might be to get a new big screen tv - if we can't afford to pay the power bill, credit card debt, grocery bill, etc., then my "partner" (using the term loosely in this case) has NO business spending money that needs to go elsewhere, especially without my knowledge. This is one of the deal-breakers that finally sent my ex packing after five years.

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Originally Posted by Annarose15

I don't care how awesome it might be to get a new big screen tv - if we can't afford to pay the power bill, credit card debt, grocery bill, etc., then my "partner" (using the term loosely in this case) has NO business spending money that needs to go elsewhere, especially without my knowledge. This is one of the deal-breakers that finally sent my ex packing after five years.

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This. This is what I'm talking about. I don't think someone should be spending money when you've both agreed that it is going elsewhere (especially when you live together). After all, tv's are great, but so are groceries. You can't eat a tv. I don't care whose money you're spending if you live together because when you're both trying to pay bills, you have to think about each other and not make large purchases for yourself and then hide it. Honesty is key here.

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Originally Posted by NormanSnake

Oh yeah Mike, I'll just waltz on out and grab me one up pronto :P

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Why do you need to be in a relationship?

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Originally Posted by Kodieh

Bills are always primary. As soon as I get paid, we go out and have a good meal. Then that night we sit down pay all the bills (they're all online) and then we know what's left. Now we're saving up, and we normally have expenses (crickets, paper towels, groceries), but do pretty well. We've only ever paid one bill late.

My wife isn't comfortable spending large amounts of money. In fact if she goes over the 25 dollar mark I hear about it. Same for me, usually she's with me when I buy something expensive. So, I never really hide anything and neither does she.

If your significant other is unemployed they damn sure better not be spending anything on anything besides what they made themselves on extra food. I donate plasma for bs money, and that funds my cravings and stuff. I don't spend OUR money on anything but bills and stuff for US.

Sent from my SAMSUNG Galaxy SIII using Tapatalk 2

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Im so cheap I'd be the same way. I hate spending money on most stuff lol.

"Ughhhh i just had to spend $40 on gas... :(. Ohhhh lookit that $600 snake! Thats a good deal!" LOL

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

Why do you need to be in a relationship?

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you said it, not me. I don't, and this may sound selfish, but it sure makes things a heck of a lot easier financially if there are two people pulling the weight and not just one.

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Originally Posted by NormanSnake

you said it, not me. I don't, and this may sound selfish, but it sure makes things a heck of a lot easier financially if there are two people pulling the weight and not just one.

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You misunderstood what i meant then... I didn't mean you HAD to right away lol.

It is easier if two people are paying bills, that doesn't seem to be the case here though from what you've said. You seem to be pulling more of the weight.

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

You misunderstood what i meant then... I didn't mean you HAD to right away lol.

It is easier if two people are paying bills, that doesn't seem to be the case here though from what you've said. You seem to be pulling more of the weight.

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But I don't pull all of the weight. And being in school makes it kind of hard to get a job that does pull all of the weight.

So if your decision is to change nothing then what was the point of the thread...? You can't honestly tell me you thought that someone was gunna say "yea its totally ok to make big purchases behind your partners back!"