How do you approach the topic?

I would get a new bf if i were you!:gj:

My grandparents who live next door to me recently took that attitude. They tolerated my snakes but now after i got my 5th bp they were besides themselves telling me how i need to stop and its not normal and not right and how im hurting them blah blah blah.

My response was: Its my money that i earn. I pay for my own phone, gas, truck/truck repairs, truck insurance, and school. The only thing i dont pay for is rent but im living with my parents still who said they dont mind and wouldnt charge me rent as long as i stay going to school. I have very few hobbies, pretty much only 2 that i actually spend money on, and i cant understand why they think its so wrong for me to have bps. The biggest problem is that theyre ignorant. They just dont realize that the difference in keeping 10 snakes isnt that much more than 5. (Besides food costs that is). It doesnt really matter bc after 1 more semester of community college ill be able to transfer to a 4 year school and get my own apartment. Then ill be able to get as many snakes as i want and no one can tel me otherwise!:banana:

If the situation doesnt get better tho i would really consider your relationship status with your bf. Who is he to tell you what you can and cant buy? Your spouse should support you no matter what. Remember: For a relationship to work you dont have to love all the same things, you just have to hate the same things.

Sounds to me like hes starting to hate on your herps....

My man is into hunting and I'm not. That's his thing and I wouldn't want to take one of his hobbies away, nor make him feel bad for enjoying said hobby.

It's your choice, your money, your space, your time. If I were in your shoes, I would get that snake I want.

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Originally Posted by Vasiliki

1 However, when I mentioned possibly getting my 'last' reptile (I am at what I feel is my capacity for balancing time with the animals and time with life's other obligations), my other half suddenly turned very negative on the topic. "No more," I was told sternly.

2 Recently we were at a family thing, and one of his family members openly asked me: "So why on earth do you have reptiles? One or two, that makes sense. But you have a handful now. Why? What does it benefit you?"

3 I'm worried that these negative opinions and judgments are causing this change in attitude with him.

4 But now I don't know what to do. I love that Pied and had a deposit put on the little snake, but with this recent reaction to the reptiles, I don't know how to bring up that I'm getting my 'dream' snake after 12+ years of wanting one.

5 I naturally don't want to push the issue, but neither do I want to feel ashamed for having a hobby I enjoy.

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1 No one should tell their SO "no more" of this or that, I see that as very controlling (speaking broadly). He should have had a talk with you about the number of animals you both can afford and take care of, but straight telling you you can't have anymore? That gives me a feeling that there may be other reasons for his change of attitude that doesn't have to do with just the reps.

2 My own family (or at least my mom and somewhat my sister) thinks my passion for reptiles is "obsessive" (well, maybe it is...) but to a hoarding extent. It bothers me that they aren't more accepting of them and they don't realize how happy they make me, but some people just don't understand. His family may never understand your love for the reps, and that's something you might just have to deal with unfortunately.

3 Family can be VERY persuasive on a person, speaking from experience I had an ex who was okay with my first snake (this was many years ago) but after his family "got to him" he suddenly was very judgmental towards it and wanted nothing to do with it, just because his family manipulated him IMO. This could have definitely happened to your bf, and would explain the sudden change of heart towards your reps.

4 Get your pied, don't let your bf make you feel bad about it (or his family for that matter). You'll regret not getting him (the pied).

5 I would push the issue since it's obviously causing you stress and grief: ask him what's happened and why his feelings towards the reps have changed. Like mentioned, it could be another issue entirely that's making him not himself: the reps might not be the sole issue here.

Good luck! I hope everything works out for you both and that you post lots of pics of that nice little pied :gj:

Maybe let him have a look around on this forum! He will realize you're just getting started! LOL!

But it might not be about the reptiles. I'm a guy..

I've had something similar happen.

I got my first reptile in fall 2008. I was dating someone for almost a year at that point. He was cool with the reptile. He didn't really mind, but he wasn't super interested like I was. By the time our relationship had ended, I had 8 reptiles. Our relationship started to go sour once he told me he hated that I had so many pets.

I asked why he never said anything before I had so many and he never gave me a response. He was always a quiet person who didn't really talk to me about his feelings. The relationship ended quite badly and suddenly, but it was for the best. :/ I'm still not sure what changed. I am fairly convinced he fell into depression and thats what sparked his negativity towards me.

Through all of that though, he never told me not to get a new animal. It was my money, I was the one taking care of them, and he never had anything to do with them.


I am very thankful now to have a boyfriend that both doesn't mind my reptiles, and also is getting hooked himself. He helps me care for them and even convinces me to buy more :P


If I were you, I would get the new snake. Your boyfriend doesn't own you and as long as the money is coming out of your pocket, it isn't really any of his concern. Don't let him control you because of his opinions.

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Originally Posted by Otolith

Much easier to apologize than ask for permission. :)

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That is what happened when I brought home my milksnake and my female blood python. I bought them without asking my boyfriend. He didn't seem too angry, just wanted us to put a cap on the number of snakes we have. Guess we haven't reached that limit yet, because we now are up to 8 snakes and there are so many more that we plan on getting when we have the extra money for our very small breeding program.

My advice to the OP is if you want it, go get it. Either he is going to support you in your hobbies, or he is not. But a relationship is all about give and take. My boyfriend loves playing Magic the Gathering. I personally don't understand it, but I don't get angry with him when he goes and buys a bunch of cards. He doesn't understand why I have so much fabric for my sewing projects or a ton of skeins of yarn for my knitting or crocheting projects, but he understands that I enjoy doing these things when I have time.

Just my 2 cents.