Ever feel like....(rant)

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Originally Posted by withonor

Old people telling young people their problems aren't very significant in the universe... I hope I never get that bitter.

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You mistaken bitterness for reality. I'm just saying being bored with school and not getting any from an ex-girlfriend is not a reason to run away off into the sunset.

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A person makes the choice to own a car, get married, have kids, buy a house or anything that comes with responsibility. The difficulties that come along with those choices do NOT in anyway diminish the difficulties a person, who has yet to choose or chose otherwise, may have.

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No but it just shows you how much you've got to look forward to. These issues that I quoted are what we all experience as adults. These aren't exceptions, these are the rules. You'll learn one day that older people speak from experience and not just to be heard.

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I love the insinuation that to be an adult you have to live a predefined lifestyle. It's like being handed a multiple choice test and the administer tells you that you can choose anything but in the end the correct answer will always be "A".

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This just shows you how much experience you have in life. There were no insinuations, these are hard cold facts. Trust me, you will experience some if not most of these situations before your life is over.

Sure, you can hug the guy and tell him that everything will be okay. But it probalby won't. If he hates school and cannot stand to be there, then he needs to quit. If his desire to become a zoologist is greater, then that desire will out weight his dislike for school.

Women come and go. He'll fall in love another dozen times and probably fall into lust even more than that. He said it himself, she doesn't want anything to do with him. So why should he continue to dwell on someone that is just going to break his heart, if not his will.

I'm done typing now, I've to go take my medicine and take a nap.
Jim Smith

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Originally Posted by j_h_smith

You mistaken bitterness for reality. I'm just saying being bored with school and not getting any from an ex-girlfriend is not a reason to run away off into the sunset.



No but it just shows you how much you've got to look forward to. These issues that I quoted are what we all experience as adults. These aren't exceptions, these are the rules. You'll learn one day that older people speak from experience and not just to be heard.



This just shows you how much experience you have in life. There were no insinuations, these are hard cold facts. Trust me, you will experience some if not most of these situations before your life is over.

Sure, you can hug the guy and tell him that everything will be okay. But it probalby won't. If he hates school and cannot stand to be there, then he needs to quit. If his desire to become a zoologist is greater, then that desire will out weight his dislike for school.

Women come and go. He'll fall in love another dozen times and probably fall into lust even more than that. He said it himself, she doesn't want anything to do with him. So why should he continue to dwell on someone that is just going to break his heart, if not his will.

I'm done typing now, I've to go take my medicine and take a nap.
Jim Smith

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I can tell were not going to agree on this, now or probably 50 years from now (Not literally, figuratively), so I'll refrain from doing battle in someone elses thread.

I'd like to say two things not because I care for a response, but hopefully you can think about them with an open mind.

One, you made a lot of assumptions about me.

Two, "old people" speak, not with experience, but based on their experiences that are unique to them and created at times with unique circumstances. If you spend your time with people who all live life exactly like you do, you can say with experience, but a millionaire, a middle-class family and a lesbian couple all have different experiences with the same life events. Getting married, having kids and buying a house would be interpreted VERY differently by each of those groups. An "adult" with "life experience" in the U.S. can go live in Afghanistan and find that probably a lot of their "experience" doesn't do them any good.

The world is a big place and there is no "right" way to live in it.

Sure David, it's your story and I'm just a character.

Jim Smith

I was in a similar situation a while back.

I was 19 when I dropped out of "real" college, then eventually ended up dropping out of community college as well when my younger brother committed suicide. I was living in my parents' basement and working at Petsmart while my brain rotted. Sure I had friends, and I hung out with them pretty much every day, but life gets dull when all you do is smoke pot and drink cheap beer every night until you pass out next to the girl of the week, hoping a. that you didnt catch anything and b. that she didnt get pregnant.

It sounds to me like you are dealing with depression- I know because I deal with it too. You know you have responsibilities (school in your case), but you dont have the motivation to just suck it up and get it over with. Things that you used to enjoy just seem like they arent worth the effort anymore.

My advice is this: start doing more things you enjoy, find a job you enjoy, and take things one step at a time. You aren't going to wake up one day and get aphone call from a Marine Biologist asking for a personal assistant to join them on their boat while they study humpback whale migration patterns. For now- just find a job that you can enjoy (even minimally) to save up and eventually go to the "real" college where you can follow your dreams.

I thought my life was pointless a while back, but I just realized one day I was going the same direction as my younger brother. I turned it around- I got a job cleaning plastic bins all day at Outback, saved up enough money to move out, and found a girl I could stick with longer than a week. Stopped doing drugs, only drink about once or twice a month, and generally stopped with the self-destructive behavior I was engaging in. I still smoke, but I plan on quitting ( as i'm sure some people here know its not an easy task ).

I'm now paying the bills each month, I'm no longer a dishwasher monkey at work (higher responsibilities, higher pay), I still have my own house and I'm slowly saving up money to go back to school. I don't know what I'm going to study but like I said, take things one step at a time. There's no hurry to just suddenly get everything straight and lead a perfect TV sitcom life.

Sorry for the life story, but I feel like I can relate on a certain degree. What worked for me may not work for everyone, but I hope ito does- my "in a nutshell" advice is to just sit back, relax, and look at things systematically. Take things one step at a time and everything will fall into place.

Oh, and also- don't dwell on the past- I'm talking about your ex. She doesnt care about you and you shouldnt care about her with the way she treats you. Listen to the song "self esteem" by The Offspring ;)

Good luck with everything;
Mike Schultz

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Originally Posted by the_Ryno

You just need to jump in a car, drive as far away as you can and start from scratch? Because that is exactly what I feel like right now.

I feel like nothing in my life is going right at all right now. I'm on academic probation at school, have no job, cant figure things out with my ex, have literally no friends and feel like I am going nowhere in life.

School is a drag and I honestly went to class all of maybe twice per class I was taking last semester. I have no motivation to sit in a class that has nothing to do with what I want to do with my life. I know I want to get into Zoology and/or Marine Biology but can do either of those things being stuck in a Community College in Kansas. Sitting in a classroom is not how I learn, I learn by being hands on and being out in the field. I rather walk around a crappy zoo all day than sit in a class room all day simply being I could find something that I am interested in and learn something about animals. I need to get out of where I am to do what I want to do with my life but don't see that happening right now.

I love my ex more than anything, and she knows it and it seems like she is using that knowledge to toy with me and just drag me along until I am smart enough to just cut all tied with her. I know I can find better than her, but don't want to simply because I love her so much and am so happy when I am with her. We used to see each other everyday even after we did break up, but I haven't seen her in over four weeks now. She always tells me she is busy, or some lame excuse that I see right through. She is always saying she misses me, but when I ask to hang out she doesn't want to. This alone should be enough for me to be smart and just move on, but I just can't get myself to. I think changing my phone number and cutting off all ways of contact with her is the best thing, but cant bring myself do that.

Im hoping that once school starts again in about two and a half weeks I will start to be more social and what not and finally start to get some friends. I'd like to think that I am easy to get along with and everything. I do have a very crude sense of humor, things people find to be extremely funny, I typically find to be stupid, and things people think are stupid are extremely funny to me.

I try to get out and do things that make me happy, but most of them are no fun to do alone. My favorite thing to do is go out and go bowling,but with people and not alone. I hate doing things that I am passionate about with people that aren't as into something as me, because when I get into a new hobby or interest I go all out and learn as much about that thing as I can, and am a sponge to information. And I feel weird because I tend to talk about what I know, even if the people around don't care at all.

The times in my life that I have been the happiest are when I have been on cruises. You have a bunch of new people in front of you that know nothing about you at all, its a fresh slate. I am a naturally shy person who typically will not just go up to anyone and try to start talking, so I enjoy being put into situations where its necessary to get to know people in order to enjoy what is going on around you.

I wish I could just pack up and move out to the coast and get into a school that is going to enable me to be where I want to be in my life ten years from now. But being a broke 19yr old makes that nearly impossible.


/end rant.
I don't care if anyone reads this, just needed to get things off my chest at nearly 3:30AM. I know if anyone does reply to this that they will give quality advice, which is why I LOVE this place even though I don't post to often,

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dont be so down on yourself man. i was in the same position as you for the past few months. the girl i was in love with was playing games with me and life in general seemed to be crashing down around me. what i made myself do was cut the dumb witch with a captial B off from contacing me, cut all ties completly. i was in the biggest rut in my life and didnt see how i could ever get out of it. the thing is you have to realize we as human beings are strong and life is a long bumpy road. we may be in the worst posible position ever, but we can manage to pull our selves out of it. it is all a mind set. you need to get yourself into that good perpective and stop looking at all the negatives. the things that helped pull me out of my hole were my family and a couple good old friends. im not completely to what i was before but getting damn near there! please dont dwell on things from the past :(

do me and yourself a favor, google COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY, and you will see that will help you flip this situation in the opposite direction.

you'll pull through my friend. and i'd like to know if theres anything i could do to help you out bro!!!!

If you think school is boring and you get no benefit out of it, then I would suggest taking time off of school at the moment (if you're out of high school that is). You can try doing a job that you really like, such as working at a reptile place if you like being with reptiles. I think it's better to have a job that you really like that doesn't pay as much as a job that you dislike that pays you well. But, that's just me. Though, in that reptile job you'll start at the bottom (cleaning cages, caring after small lizards and amphibians possibly) then as you do well you rise and are able to care after larger reptiles likes 6+ foot snakes and large lizards.

At my volunteer job I started out sorting greens and taking out anything the reptiles could not eat. Then, I had to feed those green eaters the greens I sorted out. After that I think I cared for baby tortoises. Now, I will sometimes care after the Beardies like feed them their protein and give them suppliements, but even better is now I like where I'm at. I fed Ball pythons one week and it was AWESOME. That's what I was wanting to do. I wanted to be able to interact with the pythons and snakes, and now I am. I started this job a few months ago, and now I'm at the point where I think it was well worth doing all the work in the beginning.

If you can, take off time from school. Start a job you like. Earn some money. And with money you saved up you can get in a better college where you can learn Zoology and Herpetology--the things you really do want to learn. Then when you are at the job you like you can meet new people that share the same interests that you do. Practically no one at my school is a huge fan of snakes like I am, so I have no one to talk to about my snakes. But on here I can start threads and post stuff about my snakes and meet people that share the same interest. I would also like to thank BP.net for getting me into breeding and morphs as well as helping me learn genetics--I knew the most about genetics in my entire science class just from learning about genetics on here.. You guys are great teachers!! Anyway, I hope you're seeing the point in my post.

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Originally Posted by Mike@OutbackReptiles

I was in a similar situation a while back.

I was 19 when I dropped out of "real" college, then eventually ended up dropping out of community college as well when my younger brother committed suicide. I was living in my parents' basement and working at Petsmart while my brain rotted. Sure I had friends, and I hung out with them pretty much every day, but life gets dull when all you do is smoke pot and drink cheap beer every night until you pass out next to the girl of the week, hoping a. that you didnt catch anything and b. that she didnt get pregnant.

It sounds to me like you are dealing with depression- I know because I deal with it too. You know you have responsibilities (school in your case), but you dont have the motivation to just suck it up and get it over with. Things that you used to enjoy just seem like they arent worth the effort anymore.

My advice is this: start doing more things you enjoy, find a job you enjoy, and take things one step at a time. You aren't going to wake up one day and get aphone call from a Marine Biologist asking for a personal assistant to join them on their boat while they study humpback whale migration patterns. For now- just find a job that you can enjoy (even minimally) to save up and eventually go to the "real" college where you can follow your dreams.

I thought my life was pointless a while back, but I just realized one day I was going the same direction as my younger brother. I turned it around- I got a job cleaning plastic bins all day at Outback, saved up enough money to move out, and found a girl I could stick with longer than a week. Stopped doing drugs, only drink about once or twice a month, and generally stopped with the self-destructive behavior I was engaging in. I still smoke, but I plan on quitting ( as i'm sure some people here know its not an easy task ).

I'm now paying the bills each month, I'm no longer a dishwasher monkey at work (higher responsibilities, higher pay), I still have my own house and I'm slowly saving up money to go back to school. I don't know what I'm going to study but like I said, take things one step at a time. There's no hurry to just suddenly get everything straight and lead a perfect TV sitcom life.

Sorry for the life story, but I feel like I can relate on a certain degree. What worked for me may not work for everyone, but I hope ito does- my "in a nutshell" advice is to just sit back, relax, and look at things systematically. Take things one step at a time and everything will fall into place.

Oh, and also- don't dwell on the past- I'm talking about your ex. She doesnt care about you and you shouldnt care about her with the way she treats you. Listen to the song "self esteem" by The Offspring ;)

Good luck with everything;
Mike Schultz

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I dropped out of Community College two semesters ago, and might as well of this past semester.
I am hoping that by taking some classes that I actually care about, mainly a 5credit hour General Zoology class will re-spark my interest. To get a taste of what I want to do with my life, and know that in semesters to come that I can look back on that class, see how much I enjoyed it and use that as motivation to grind out the classes that are of less interest to me.

Right now I am looking at applying for a job at a bowling alley, its something I enjoy and its money. Over the summer I plan on trying to see if I can do something at the local zoo. At this point and with no degree at this point I would be more than happy to start at the bottom and clean up after people everyday. It would be almost like getting paid to learn about things I am interested in.

Right now I am looking at finishing my general classes at the community college, the maths, english, psychology, ect and then going to a 4yr to take the degree specific classes and get a Bachelors in Zoology and depending on my experiences around here, potentially move somewhere where I could end up getting a job at an aquarium, zoo, or something like that where I would be able to also go back to school in the future and get a Marine Biology degree.

BTW, The Offspring is a great band, love the song and have heard it before, just never looked at it that way.

I just need to stop worrying about whats going to be happening now, and worry about where I what to be in a year from now...5yrs, 10yrs ect.

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Originally Posted by j_h_smith

Sure David, it's your story and I'm just a character.

Jim Smith

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I don't have a story yet, and I may never have one. Most people who have ever existed don't have a story. A rumor at best that is forgotten as quickly as it is told. So Jim, my friend, you aren't even a character yet. However I do value your opinion for what it is and I am truely appreciating our philisophically inspired conversation.

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Originally Posted by the_Ryno

I dropped out of Community College two semesters ago, and might as well of this past semester.
I am hoping that by taking some classes that I actually care about, mainly a 5credit hour General Zoology class will re-spark my interest. To get a taste of what I want to do with my life, and know that in semesters to come that I can look back on that class, see how much I enjoyed it and use that as motivation to grind out the classes that are of less interest to me.

Right now I am looking at applying for a job at a bowling alley, its something I enjoy and its money. Over the summer I plan on trying to see if I can do something at the local zoo. At this point and with no degree at this point I would be more than happy to start at the bottom and clean up after people everyday. It would be almost like getting paid to learn about things I am interested in.

Right now I am looking at finishing my general classes at the community college, the maths, english, psychology, ect and then going to a 4yr to take the degree specific classes and get a Bachelors in Zoology and depending on my experiences around here, potentially move somewhere where I could end up getting a job at an aquarium, zoo, or something like that where I would be able to also go back to school in the future and get a Marine Biology degree.

BTW, The Offspring is a great band, love the song and have heard it before, just never looked at it that way.

I just need to stop worrying about whats going to be happening now, and worry about where I what to be in a year from now...5yrs, 10yrs ect.

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Ryan,

Whether it was the advice in this thread or reality kicking you in the face... You sound a lot better. I hope that you want things to work out for you, because then they will.

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Originally Posted by withonor

I can tell were not going to agree on this, now or probably 50 years from now (Not literally, figuratively), so I'll refrain from doing battle in someone elses thread.

I'd like to say two things not because I care for a response, but hopefully you can think about them with an open mind.

One, you made a lot of assumptions about me.

Two, "old people" speak, not with experience, but based on their experiences that are unique to them and created at times with unique circumstances. If you spend your time with people who all live life exactly like you do, you can say with experience, but a millionaire, a middle-class family and a lesbian couple all have different experiences with the same life events. Getting married, having kids and buying a house would be interpreted VERY differently by each of those groups. An "adult" with "life experience" in the U.S. can go live in Afghanistan and find that probably a lot of their "experience" doesn't do them any good.

The world is a big place and there is no "right" way to live in it.

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So have I made assumptions. And it's that your theme is "You don't realize how tough it is" and you seem ever ready to make excuses for disorder and mayhem.You defended rape during combat in another thread as an act that we should have sympathy for. Now you are telling a guy who counsels someone that " Your situation is not as bad as it seems" that he is bitter. Most people do not have their lives in order at the age of 19. I certainly didn't. It is actually tough to be that age. And like you I was in the military at that age from 1969-1972. I didn't quite have my life entirely straight at the age of 28 either but I was well on my way. I think that in your posts you are justifying your own problems. It looks to me as if you harbor the bitterness because you don't yet have your own life straight. But this is only my impression. More foolish "Old people speak." :twocents: