Convincing Parents (I know)

[BoaBoy]

Okay, so I have been working with my parents for the past year (started last year in early January) on getting a snake/more reptiles. I currently own a single crested gecko (who is doing great) and that's it for pets. I have made several power-points, taken my dad to expos, and my mom to several reptiles stores, and have even been offered free snakes from breeders ( I also get the employee discount at my local reptile shop because of how much I go in there and help out) My dad is okay with me having as many snakes as I want ( as long as I pay for them and their need of course) but my mom is firm on the NO. So I have made this forum to get as many tips and tricks when convincing them ( in particular my mom) on letting me have my own mini collection. I do know that it isn't my house and what my parents say is what goes, but I would really like to be able to build up a collection rather than having to take a 6.5 mile bike ride several times a week to get my fill of reptiles.

[dadofsix]

A few questions come to mind:

1. How old are you?

2. How long have you been taking care of the gecko?

3. Are you REALLY able to handle the costs of getting the animal, the equipment necessary for it to thrive, its food, and the unforeseen trips to the vet?

4. Have you had a quiet and private talk (not an argument) with your mother concerning her reasons why she is against you getting a snake? Force yourself to listen and to understand (NOT ARGUE!). You might learn something and it may provide you with the opportunity to address some of her concerns in a mature, responsible way.

Good Luck!

<><Peace

[BoaBoy]

A few questions come to mind:

1. How old are you?

2. How long have you been taking care of the gecko?

3. Are you REALLY able to handle the costs of getting the animal, the equipment necessary for it to thrive, its food, and the unforeseen trips to the vet?

4. Have you had a quiet and private talk (not an argument) with your mother concerning her reasons why she is against you getting a snake? Force yourself to listen and to understand (NOT ARGUE!). You might learn something and it may provide you with the opportunity to address some of her concerns in a mature, responsible way.

Good Luck!

<><Peace

1. I am 13 years old

2. 8-9 months

3. Currently, finances are iffy, but in Nevada, you can get a job at 14 which I will be in two months

4. Yes, I have had many talks with her (not arguments). The only response every time to our conversations is space. However, I have shown her dozens of ways we could use the space we have to have SEVERAL animals.

[Stewart_Reptiles]

You are 13 and you are looking at a 30 years commitment, what if you go to college, what if you enlist, what if you study abroad, what if you move abroad then what???? Your parent's problem?

Grow up enjoy life free of worries and commitment (trust me those will come soon enough) and then get a good job, settle and get as many as you want.

That's what I did and I am grateful that parents were the voice of reason saying no to snakes when I was your age.

[MissterDog]

Honestly wait until you move out and are financially independent where whatever pet you get can't be a possible burden to someone else.

You have to think long term and not just "what I want now". Deborah brought up good point you need to consider. As long as you live under your parents house, whatever pet under your care is potentially a pet they may have to take responsibility for if you can no longer look after it. Keep in mind not all college/university dorms or land lords are cool with snakes as a pet and not everything will go smoothly. You WILL hit a lot of bumps along the way and you don't want to learn that the hard way.

So it's not as simple as "oh I can just bring my snake!" A lot can happen in just a few years and with a boa that's 30 years you have to make sure you can commit to without interruption. If you want a boa now and are serious about it, you will definitely still want a boa 5+ years from now.

Also slow down, you're already aiming for a collection and "several animals" when a single boa can present enough challenges for future hiccups. Don't be so ambitious when you're not even close to being fully independent. I know this sounds harsh but you have to think about things realistically for the sake of your future snake(s), not just what sounds nice as a concept.

[SDA]

What is your mom's reason for not allowing you to own a snake? If it is you are too young then that is her right to say so. Actually her simply not wanting you to have one is her right but knowing the reason for not letting you have one would be important as to know why you are not getting a snake.

The saying their home their rules is applicable here. If she does not want one and is adamant about it, you aren't getting one.

[dakski]

Honestly wait until you move out and are financially independent where whatever pet you get can't be a possible burden to someone else.

You have to think long term and not just "what I want now". Deborah brought up good point you need to consider. As long as you live under your parents house, whatever pet under your care is potentially a pet they may have to take responsibility for if you can no longer look after it. Keep in mind not all college/university dorms or land lords are cool with snakes as a pet and not everything will go smoothly. You WILL hit a lot of bumps along the way and you don't want to learn that the hard way.

So it's not as simple as "oh I can just bring my snake!" A lot can happen in just a few years and with a boa that's 30 years you have to make sure you can commit to without interruption. If you want a boa now and are serious about it, you will definitely still want a boa 5+ years from now.

Also slow down, you're already aiming for a collection and "several animals" when a single boa can present enough challenges for future hiccups. Don't be so ambitious when you're not even close to being fully independent. I know this sounds harsh but you have to think about things realistically for the sake of your future snake(s), not just what sounds nice as a concept.

I agree with everything that has been said.

There is a flip side too.

It's not just about finding a home for a pet, or many pets, which can be difficult.

It can be heartbreaking/gut-wrenching.

I gave up a couple snakes I had when I found out I needed a kidney transplant. I thought I was at risk because of immune suppression and I was worried, listened to the doctors, and overreacted.

After my transplant, and missing my animals, I did more research, a lot more research, and realized that although at greater risk, I just need to be extra careful, but not worried. Doctors, like everyone else, fears what they do not understand.

The point is, I STILL MISS THOSE ANIMALS AND WORRY ABOUT THEM and wonder. And giving away my "family" was very difficult.

I TOTALLY AGREE that you NEED TO SLOW DOWN!

I am 37, financially independant, and have quite a few reptiles. But, it takes work, commitment, and money.

I work from home most days, which allows me to care for my animals well. However, if I was away most of the day, it would be difficult and I would not have taken all of them on.

I also know, barring a health catastrophe or death, that I can care for them for their lives.

If you want more now, you will want them later too, when it makes sense for you and your family.

As you can see on this forum, many people begin collecting, and can get in over their heads; fast. Life is about balance. I want 20 reptile tanks in my house, but that's an impossibility. I have limited space and time. I also want to spend time with each animal. I would not be able to adequately care for 20 tanks worth! This is not my career. I was careful about each animal I added knowing that it was a life long commitment. I researched and chose carefully.

I know it sounds preachy, but if you wait, and it's the right time, it will be much better.

What if you get in over your head. Not only are you risking the animals' well being, but it might turn you off reptiles.

Another alternative is to volunteer at a local nature center, or work (when you are old enough) at a reptile breeder, or reptile specific pet store near you (if there is one).

Then you can be around animals you like, but without the lifelong commitment. You can learn what goes into caring for them and decide if it's right for you, and if so, what animal(s) is right.

I have a local reptile breeder/small reptile shop near me. I like to go in and chat with the owner/breeder, and see the animals. However, I don't take any more home. I do buy supplies/feeders, etc. from him. Although it's tempting, it's also humbling and gets the itch out for me.

Best of luck! Keep up the passion and it will pay off in time.

[BoaBoy]

Thank you all for the info. I also agree with everything that is being said. And I am lucky enough to be able to volunter at a local reptile shop which is truly amazing.

[dakski]

Thank you all for the info. I also agree with everything that is being said. And I am lucky enough to be able to volunter at a local reptile shop which is truly amazing.

I am glad we could help. It is not easy to hear "no" from anybody, but it takes a big person to evaluate the situation, and do the right thing, especially if it isn't what the want. That shows real maturity for any age.

Awesome that you volunteer at a reptile shop now!

Keep fueling your passion, learning, and when the time is right, you'll kick butt as a reptile parent! Plus, you will experience multiple species and types of reptiles, so you should know exactly what you want to focus on.

Good luck!

[Craiga 01453]

I am glad we could help. It is not easy to hear "no" from anybody, but it takes a big person to evaluate the situation, and do the right thing, especially if it isn't what the want. That shows real maturity for any age.

Awesome that you volunteer at a reptile shop now!

Keep fueling your passion, learning, and when the time is right, you'll kick butt as a reptile parent! Plus, you will experience multiple species and types of reptiles, so you should know exactly what you want to focus on.

Good luck!

Very well said