My grandma was from the south and had a foul mouth in her younger years so my mom inherited it. I'd laugh at the things she would say when I was growing up but laughing would sometimes get me in trouble..

"That's a crock of sh__ (poo) if I ever heard one"

"You're gonna be up sh__ (poo) creek without a paddle"

"I'm gonna knock you from here to Timbuktu"

"Don't let your mouth overload your butt (not the polite version)" lol

"He's about as ornery as a pet coon"

Lol yep, my mom said these things. She was a little nuts.

My dad and all his family were 100% Italian so there really weren't any old sayings (not in English anyway) but i got a kick out the way they talk anyway.