I think I've settled on a pair of hoggies

[RedDevil]

A few specific questions though:
1) What morphs are out there? Anything affordable? I'd love an anaconda or albino but the one website I checked out had them in the thousand+ price range, not what I'm looking for.

You were probably looking at extreme red albinos. Normal one are $300 tops (with the exception of breeders, of course).

2) How do you sex hoggies? Probing? Another method? Can it be done right out of the egg? They're so tiny as neonates I can't imagine probing being easy.

I have no experience with sexing hatchlings, but I have read that it is pretty easy to determine by simply comparing their tails. Don't know exactly how accurate that would be, but it seems pretty accurate on the adults I have.

3) Personality. From what I've read bites from these guys are extremely rare(many strikes are even "mock" strikes), but are neonates nippy like many other snake species? Are CB western hoggies "showy" by nature? I'd almost kind of like one that hisses and puffs up a bit lol.. The few wild encounters I've had have been neat.

You will get nothing but mock strikes unless it is a feeding response. I've never heard of any one actually taking a bite for no reason. From what I've seen, the neonates are more into playing dead than hissing. My adult Hogs have no problem putting on a show and hooding up, though. My red albino is the only one that doesn't care about being bothered.