Rude schmude.
You say you're a college student. Writing an accurate timeline with actual facts should not be beyond your capabilities. Of course you are schooling in Ca. so perhaps timelines and accuracy are beyond you.
It's not the fault of the readers when the writer incorrectly relates pertinent facts.
My guess is your friend is lying to you.
As far as noises, I've heard my share of respiratory related noises. I've also raised far more than my fair share of kittens.
I have yet to hear a snake cry like a kitten. You may have, it's entirely possible, but I haven't.