best thing to do is persistence...
I cant say much more then what has already been said... But I will say that I did have a fiesty spider ball male that was having no problems trying to nail me every chance he got...
After a while now he is used to me, has calmed down, and hasnt struck at me in a while. I make it a point to hold him near pulse points on my wrists and hands so that he feels my pulse and knows I am calm. I think that helps. I also make it a point to hold him for a few minutes everytime I clean his tank out.
Also one other tip... Make her tank/tub as crowded as you can. They love it! My spider loves having space issues, it makes him a calmer, happier snake!
Jason