Ladies and Gentlemen who are married...

[mischevious21]

I wont be married for another two years, but I'm taking his last name. I just dont like how long my name will be after that. lol. The reason I'm going to is because I feel like it makes the bond between us stronger. I just kinda feel like we wont be "100% together", like "mine" or "his" Makes more since in my head, I swear. lol.

[SapphireTigress]

I actually fell in love with his grandparents long before I ever met hub, so when he came along and I saw hub's attractive packaging and realized he came from this excellent breeding stock (ahem), it was a no-brainer to take their last name.

Never regretted it. We said goodbye to Grandpa Fred in the winter, and it was rough, but, without his grandparents being so awesome, I doubt I'd ever met him.

I never worry about losing my identity, until the kids need something every five minutes and I become an appliance. LOL

[m0esgirl]

yep i changed my last name, but is it really a big problem to go from something like Konieczko to Salavea? no. but i do agree with the tradition, he is technically the head of the household, head of the family (even though we're even haha) but i took his name because its on HIM to make the check and its on HIM to protect us. now im not saying that if something bad were to happen (god forbid) that i would sit in the corner and whimper or faint or something, id grab a butcher knife and protect my kiddos haha but im kinda 'old fashioned' that way i guess. i dunno. to each their own though. whatever makes you happy.

[Gloryhound]

My wife took my last name.

Quick question for those who do not change last names. What last name do the kids get?

Tradition does significantly play into it, but other factors are at play as well. When you have children only one "Y" chromosome exists and if a child has it they are a male and the father is the only one that can supply this "Y". Three "X's" exist and can you tell which ones the children have? Thus the "Y" is the only proven way of tracing part of the genes.

As far as tradition goes the idea of being given the name of the husband also means he is entrusting you with the one thing this world can not take away. In early times people had what were known as good last names and bad last names. A person with a good one was generally known as someone you could take at their word, bad last names were generally people you could not trust. Granted this was small town pre 1900's. Back then if you married poorly the woman could destroy your good name. Thus his name and fortune was being entrusted with a woman who took is last name. So if you think about it, it is more of a commitment factor for the man to give his last name than it is for the woman to take his last name.

On a side note when I was in the military I knew a guy who actually took the last name of his wife when they got married. He was completely whipped and couldn't breath without getting her permission first so I guess it was only fitting!

[cassandra]

Did you, Ladies, take your husbands last name?

If you did, why, and if you didn't, why not?

would you be upset if your husband did not want to wear his wedding band? seems almost like the same thing

I took Rick's last name a) I kinda needed a change, b) the immigration lawyer said it would look weird for getting Rick a green card if I didn't and c) I finally worked out a signature I liked. Rick's last name is also quite English so that's kinda cool too. =)

The ring: if it bugged him to wear, I guess I wouldn't mind, but I think Rick's kinda likes wearing it. =)

[FIREball]

My wife took my last name and changed her middle name to her maiden name. Make sense?

[ADEE]

ive been engaged a LONG time and this is something that has come up alot.. while i do plan to take his name i am hesitant... mine is very easy color name and his is terribly long and difficult to pronounce 11 charectors vs 5? uhm yea..

if it wasnt for the respect aspect i would retain my name. when we speak to people who dont know we arent married and they ask i simply say "I chose to retain my last name" simple as that and no one asks anymore questions. I think it is totally different then wearing a wedding band, thats like comparing apples to oranges.

Despite us not being married, our first sons last name is hyphonated B_____-H__________. Our second son has just dads last name. When we get married we plan to legally change first sons last name to just dads also... when we did paperwork i was being a brat and wanted my name on the paperwork, turned out to be much more hassle then we thought it would be to change it.

[dsirkle]

My wife took my last name but back in the time period that we were married people were intending to make a lifetime commitment. This view seems to be obsolete today and most people today marry with the same attitude as when getting a new job "If this job doesn't work out I'll just get another job". Consequently most marriages don't last today and maybe it makes more sense for the woman to just keep her original surname since she will likely not stay married for too long to the same man. Her children will likely have 2 or 3 different last names. A woman could just add hyphens like notches on a gunslingers gun to keep up.

[wolfy-hound]

I kept my last name. When it was pointed out that I was now part of HIS family, I would point out that HE was part of MY family, and MY family way outnumbered HIS family, so HE should change his last name to my last name.
At any rate, it was never an issue between us. He asked, and I mulled it over, and said it would be a hassle so I wouldn't. My husband and I knew we were committed to each other, so the petty thing of who has which last name, or what person wears a band when, that's just outer junk. If it messes with your relationship that one won't change their name, then you should reexamine the relationship, IMHO.
My husband couldn't wear his wedding band after the first year, due to swelling in his hands. I never once made some comment about him not wearing it, or getting it resized.. it did not bother me. I have my engagment ring, which I almost NEVER wore, due to me being woried the stone would get knocked out(I'm not dainty in my daily life), and he never once mentioned that as a issue.
Why would a ring, or name, or the color underwear you wear have ANY impact on your relationship? People who insist on one thing or squabble, I believe sincerely there is some other issue they should deal with.
Again, OMHO.

[Broseph]

I'm married and we thought my wife took my last name, But some how she never filled out something for her ssi card to change so when we do her taxes it's Susan Lynnette Schuerger-Roberts.. but she goes by Roberts on everthing our kids have my last name, we just never went downtown to straighten it out. We figured after 11 years whats the point.