Jo answered you well and asked good questions for you to think about and find out.
As for your negative self-talk.... don't go there. None of us were born and raised with this knowledge; we all have to learn and to continue to learn about methods that work. You are no different from anyone else who has started this journey Actually, you are more on the ball than some others since some are even afraid to ask for fear of sounding unlearned.
So, enough negativity and self-flagellation and lets get back on track with how to deal with your snake