Well I am actually in Stone Mountain, not Atlanta (but for some reason Atlanta sounds better...haha). I have been referred (by Petsmart and by my regular vets office, and they are quite good) to Avalon Animal Hospital in Lawrenceville. Do you know if they are good? If a vet specializing in exotic animals could not reliably identify the gender I would be very annoyed indeed.
Oh...and sorry to hear about the loss of your cat. Diabetes in cats creates such a tight bond, I know it must be very difficult to lose one.