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  1. #1
    Registered User azak323's Avatar
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    Thumbs down A little bothered.

    One thing i hate about this site is that a lot of people never give ANYONE the benefit of the doubt. Some people just can't wait to blame or point the finger at anything that could be even remotely wrong, even when there might be a perfectly good, likely explanation for it. i've only been on this site for a couple months now, and the first few weeks i was very intimidated by how/what people said to me and to other new people. I was scared to even ask a question because of the reactions i thought i was going to get. but, maybe i'm just sensitive. i don't know. if i am, sorry for wasting your time. By no means am i saying that there aren't certain situations where something HAS been done wrong or a mistake made; but, just as often there are times when the problem could be attributed to something else. If it IS one of those situations where it's an obvious error, i also think that it's unnecessary to respond to the person as if they've done it on purpose or don't care. if they are here asking questions, they obviously care, and i wish more people would respond positively with support and encouragement. I WOULD like to say thank you to the few of you that actually were encouraging in their responses to my first posts; it has not gone forgotten. overall, however, i've just been a little let down to see so many people be so quick to think the worst of other people.
    -- alex
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  2. #2
    BPnet Veteran SPJ's Avatar
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    Re: A little bothered.

    Quote Originally Posted by azak323 View Post
    One thing i hate about this site is that a lot of people never give ANYONE the benefit of the doubt. Some people just can't wait to blame or point the finger at anything that could be even remotely wrong, even when there might be a perfectly good, likely explanation for it. i've only been on this site for a couple months now, and the first few weeks i was very intimidated by how/what people said to me and to other new people. I was scared to even ask a question because of the reactions i thought i was going to get. but, maybe i'm just sensitive. i don't know. if i am, sorry for wasting your time. By no means am i saying that there aren't certain situations where something HAS been done wrong or a mistake made; but, just as often there are times when the problem could be attributed to something else. If it IS one of those situations where it's an obvious error, i also think that it's unnecessary to respond to the person as if they've done it on purpose or don't care. if they are here asking questions, they obviously care, and i wish more people would respond positively with support and encouragement. I WOULD like to say thank you to the few of you that actually were encouraging in their responses to my first posts; it has not gone forgotten. overall, however, i've just been a little let down to see so many people be so quick to think the worst of other people.
    Stick around a few more years and you'll see whay people are jaded at times.
    Too many people have been given the benefit of the doubt in the past only to find out they didn't deserve it.
    There are certain signs in some posts that give off red flags. People pick up on it.

  3. #3
    Broken down old dude dsirkle's Avatar
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    Re: A little bothered.

    It has been discussed on previous threads how some people come down too hard on new people that may make some mistakes in husbandry or display a lack of knowledge. I agree that some people could take a better approach in adressing new or inexperienced people. One of the stated purposes of this site is to welcome people new to the hobby and to offer a friendly place to gain knowledge of the care of reptiles. We should all try to adhere to that goal.
    Do not resuscitate

  4. #4
    BPnet Veteran Argentra's Avatar
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    Re: A little bothered.

    Very true. Sometimes, I admit, people are a little hard on newbies in certain posts, and that's not great... but overall there are reasons for the harshness.
    **Adriana - White 'N Nerdy!**

    1.0 BP 'SunSpot', 0.1 Corn 'Freya', 1.0 IJ BTS 'Topaz', 1.0 ND bunny 'Licorice'




  5. #5
    BPnet Veteran cassandra's Avatar
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    Re: A little bothered.

    Personally, I'm really sorry that you've felt that you'd get and that you felt bashed by folks on this site. Having been hanging around b-p.net for a couple of years and spending time on other reptile forums, I feel experienced enough to say that I personally think b-p.net is one of the better if not the best at being friendly and helpful; I know it is something that many of us regulars certainly strive for.

    But I'm sure many of the regulars here will agree with me that we as a community, unfortunately, aren't perfect and it is hard sometimes to answer what seems like "the same question" "yet again". It's a bad attitude and it sometimes get the better of us.

    Your post is a good reminder to us all to be nice and stretch out to all new folks to this site so that we can set this place apart as the nice place with good information.

    Please give us a second chance and I think I can speak for the rest of the community here to say we are truly sorry if you felt abused and unwelcome. That is so not the intention here. =)

    - Just a snakey lover
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  6. #6
    BPnet Veteran icygirl's Avatar
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    Re: A little bothered.

    This forum is nothing compared to most forums. I have found people to actually be very responsive to discussions and open thinking here. A lot of other forums have one accepted opinion and that's it, no room for gray areas.

  7. #7
    BPnet Veteran SPJ's Avatar
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    Re: A little bothered.

    Quote Originally Posted by dsirkle View Post
    It has been discussed on previous threads how some people come down too hard on new people that may make some mistakes in husbandry or display a lack of knowledge. I agree that some people could take a better approach in adressing new or inexperienced people. One of the stated purposes of this site is to welcome people new to the hobby and to offer a friendly place to gain knowledge of the care of reptiles. We should all try to adhere to that goal.
    At the same time people have come down hard on those who were not really here for information.
    The only ones I have seen get spoken to harshly are the ones that ignored good advice and continued the same way they were going and posted additional questions relating to the problem or people that were "feeling" out the site acting like newbies.
    I can't recall an actual post for help where the person was bashed. There usually are circumstances that led up to the reaction the got.

  8. #8
    BPnet Veteran SPJ's Avatar
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    Re: A little bothered.

    Quote Originally Posted by icygirl View Post
    This forum is nothing compared to most forums. I have found people to actually be very responsive to discussions and open thinking here. A lot of other forums have one accepted opinion and that's it, no room for gray areas.
    You nailed it. This is one of the most polite forums out there.
    There are some that if you mention say......feeding live.....oh boy... look out.

  9. #9
    Banned JASBALLS's Avatar
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    Re: A little bothered.

    Dont like it leave!

  10. #10
    BPnet Lifer wolfy-hound's Avatar
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    Re: A little bothered.

    I think sometimes a response might seem harsh, when it's just imperitive to the poster that something be corrected Right Away for the animal's safety.
    A post of "I dunno why my snake isn't eating when I got the heat at 105F!!!!" get a immediately reply of "TURN THE HEAT OFF NOW!!!" which might seem harsh. It's really only severe concern. That was just an obvious example, but I've seen some replys that might be seen sort of like that.
    It might also get harsh when a poster argues that it can't be his bad husbandry, it must just be the animal being stubborn, or some other excuse.
    Mostly I think the responses are pretty good, considering the rest of the internet sites. There is always room for improvement, but this is a great and mostly polite site, IMHO.
    Theresa Baker
    No Legs and More
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    "Stop being a wimpy monkey,; bare some teeth, steal some food and fling poo with the alphas. "

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