Asking questions is always good. The more the better!

I wanted to get a bigger tank because I figured I would have to buy one anyways, I currently have a 40 gallon tank and talked to several breeders and they said that it was ok. I'm sorry I dont have a picture of the setup as it is right now, but I'll get one if you guys want.
Unless your BP grows to 6ft, you will never need bigger than 40G.

The temp on the other side is 75-80.

Is that too cool?
Not at all. Your temps are fine.

I dont have a stand for my tank and so I didnt want to get UTH's yet but by reading what is written, I feel like I should take off one of the heat lights and only use one of them. I would place the UTH on the hot side and place the heat lamp on the cooler side. I just felt like the lamp would provide more heat than the UTH?? Also is it a good idea to use the UTH on one side and the heat lamp on the other?
This is something you'll have to play with and find what's right for your environment. WHat I do is have a UTH under the warm side with a thermostat to make sure it doesn't spike to 100 and a 85W infrared light that goes over the water bowl and part of the cool side to make ssure it doesn't drop below 75. Snakes can't see infrared so it doesn't bother them to have it on all the time.

Second, since I live in Colorado, humidity is a hard thing to keep up. I have heard mixed reviews from, the humidity isn't that big of deal unless they are going into shed from the humidity should always be between 50-60%. I have read that in several BP manuals and books. It sounds like a humidifier and pump is the right way to go? Also I've noticed people covering the top with foil and that seems like a great inexpensive idea, so I will try that as well.
Again, something you'll have to play with but my cheap trick is to take wash cloths and wet them, ring them out, then lay them on top of the screen.

The real tell of the tape though is how your snake sheds. Hydrometer can be wrong and can go bad. So if it says 40% humidity but the snakes has a complete shed, then you're fine.

Other than the above, she seems fine, but doesn't seem to come out of her hide even at night.
Sometimes you'll see them. Sometimes you won't. I know mine will sometimes change hides in the day while I am at work. And I have seen her out at 3am when I got up to go to the bathroom. They come out but not necesarilly while you are around.

I have started to pick her up a bit and she is calm. She hides her head at first and then opens up and sits on my lap.
Yeah, once they get used to you, you'll like never have a "ball" python again.

I hope I have helped in some way. There are other more experienced people here who can help you as well.