gift etiquette advice needed.

[Ginevive]

OK. I have a coworker/friend who is out of work; she had a pretty invasive surgery. She might not be back until March. But at work, we are pretty close and have lunch together, etc. I was thinking of giving her a $10 giftcard (to a local grocery store; it can be used at their gas station too.) But I don't want to seem like I am fishing for a return gift, you know? Yet I know that another friend of mine gave her a gift and while this is not why I want to, it was a kind gesture.
So do you think I should, or should not? I do Not want her and her boyfriend to feel obligated to give us something. Yet, I would like to show a nice gesture. I would love to just give her one of my spider-plant babies (she gave me some of those a few months ago) but they're not ready. So what do you think?

[jkobylka]

a gift is a gift. I'd do it and if they misunderstand, make it clear

Justin

[tigerlily]

Maybe send it in a get well soon type of card, so that they don't feel the necessity to get a return gift.

[rabernet]

I think it's a kind gesture and like Christie's idea. Plus, I don't think that she'll feel a $10 gift needs to be returned, I'm sure she'll accept it in the spirit that it was given!

[slartibartfast]

Definitely do it, it's a nice gesture. :-) As long as there is a "get well" card, I don't see why she'd feel like it was obligated to be returned, you know?

Now...if somebody gets me something for my birthday, I make sure I don't forget theirs. But that reciprocity doesn't apply to things like illness.

[wolfy-hound]

Put the gift card in the Get Well card with a note saying "This is so you can get something nummy to make yourself fell better faster!"
Maybe that way it seems more like a "you don't have to reciprocate" gift, instead of something that might make her feel obligated.
Just thinking.

[Ginevive]

I was thinking; she is technically confined to the house. See, she had a hysterectomy; a pretty serious thing. Her boyfriend lives there and does their shopping, etc for now. I am going to get a get-well card and give her some scratch-off lotto tickets instead! I know that she likes those.. Thanks fir the advice. You are all better than Dear Abby!

[frankykeno]

Another thing that's always appreciated when someone has had a surgery like that Jen is to make a nice, easy to reheat dinner. Pop it in a disposable container or one you don't care if you get back and stop at the store for a nice loaf of fresh bread to go with it.

We did that for a friend years ago when she had her third baby by c-section. Instead of your standard baby shower (she had all sorts of baby stuff and didn't really need anything) we threw a "fill the freezer" party. We had her hubby let us in the house while she was in the hospital and we all filled her freezer with tons of meals with stickers on them saying what it was, who made it and exactly how to reheat it. She and her hubby absolutely loved this and it made that time so much easier not having to think about what to make for supper or having to shop for dinner stuff.

[Ginevive]

Wow; that is a neat idea! The only thing with her is, she is very particular with what she eats. She is diabetic but strictly limits herself.
I love that food idea instead of a baby shower!