I too have avoided this post for about as long as I can, but lately, I've really looked at myself, and instead of being satisfied, I was disgusted and ashamed. I've always been at war with my body, usually letting treats and salty foods take over and win.

I was pretty heavy in highschool, I think when I hit 200 I just about freaked. I played soccer my whole life, but my junior year I really stepped up, quit afternoon snacking and really put myself in my sport. I lost 45 lbs in that season. (Jan-may)

I was doing really well after my graduation. I had only gained about 10 pounds in 4 years putting me roughly at 160-165, but since I've met Chris, I have gained all of that weight back, plus more. I'm right back to where I was back in highschool as a sophmore.

I'm pretty bummed with myself. I used to have a high activity job, working frieght. I would literally move a ton of product by hand a day. It was stressful, but I never really lost much weight. I gained more upper body strength. Now, since august 1st, I have a desk job. I sit in my computer chair, listen to music on headphones and just work for 8 hours. I go home, tend to the animals, and go to sleep at 9:30- 10. I don't want to blame chris, but I do. LOL. He used to snack ALL THE TIME, on doritos, chips, everything. The man has the metabolism of a bird I tell ya. I gained 30 lbs in that first year with him!

But now, with how sedentary my life is, I know I need to start exercising. I HATE running, but once I start, I know that I like it. It's a weird love hate relationship.

It's funny, last time I was fed up with my weight was in the middle of winter too. Now I need to buy some goofy long socks, leg warmers, long johns and start running again. I know it will be harder than before, because I dont have any teammates to help push me. Or me help pull them. And I also smoked for about 3 years. I've quit a while ago, but i know my lungs aren't what they used to be.

When I used to run by myself, I would push myself until I almost fainted. It was addicting to hurt that way. The ecstacy of finishing a mile in 3 foot snow drifts will do that to ya.

Okay, enough rambling. I'm going to hop on this thread, and tell you guys and gals how well, (or not) I've been sticking to my running and no snacks. Wish me luck!

Oh, I forgot to add. My eyes are bigger than my stomach! I serve myself huge portions, and feel bad for it, so i always finish. I never know when to say "that's enough food", and put down the fork! It seems like my stomach comes around an hour later and says "*SMACK!* Fool, you ate too much! *groan*"