All your snakes see you as way better looking than that dumb blonde stereotype. You're HOT in their book - by hot, I mean hot, not venemous!
If you get the coffee pot, don't put it in the kitchen, put it in your computer room and keep your coffee supplies there. It'll be almost as good as having it delivered. Or, if you have serious trouble waking up in the morning, put it on your nightstand!
(BTW, did you sleep last night???? How about wishing for 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep?)