Awesome, Jo! My female, Bela, did the tail-waggy last year when paired with my pastel.
It is tough for me to recommend how long you should breed and rest your male. I play it by ear (or eye..) and just watch his weight and I do it so that he eats at least once every 10 days or so. My male pastel did not go off food while breeding successfully last year, and my spider has not gone off offered food this year. He is a bit of a lightweight (as opposed to my fattie pastel) so I tend to give him a nice 3-day break with food. I keep him with each of 2 girls for roughly 3 days on end.