Melanie, you can't do anything more other than perhaps doing some research to find out if there is a domestic violence shelter available for her and the kids to go to. Even if it's not in her town most of the far north shelters have generous travel budgets to bring in clients in need to shelter and housing. Other than that you cannot tell her what to do or you just replace the role her boyfriend currently fills. If you push her to leave before she is ready, she'll just either go back and end up with another man much like the one she is currently with. She needs to make the decision to go. You might gently remind her that children raised within a home filled with this sort of problem have a much higher rate of either being victims of violence or becoming the aggressive partner as adults. If not for herself, perhaps she will go for the children's future.

Illness, threats of violence, threats of suicide, etc. are the tools of an abuser. If she does leave, she needs to speak to a crisis shelter first, arrange crisis housing, follow their directions regarding her safety and that of her children (the moment of leaving is statistically the most physically dangerous time) and know her legal rights as to the kids and her share of the household (both the contents and the responsibilities of the debts).

In the end though Melanie all you can do is present her with what options are available to her in Alaska and then keep the lines of communication open while she decides what is best. If you suspect though at any point that the kids are being neglected, abused or at risk...I encourage you to report this family even if you risk losing a friend.

Here is a link that may assist you.

http://www.alaskawomensnetwork.org/d..._violence.html