Brilliant!
Would you believe that I've honestly heard -every- single one of those in real life? (The testicle guy insisted that if we hadn't neutered his 1 year old 9lb Pom, the dog would have reached its full genetic potential of 30lbs).
Also: "My Rockwilder ain't had no shots and now he's got real bad bloody diarrhea. How much for that provo shot?"
I love my job, I really really do. I must love it, because $9 an hour isn't sufficient compensation for dealing with people like that.