Giving/Taking Advice

[frankykeno]

I've noticed a lot of new members here at BPNet and other forums I'm part of becoming very defensive and upset when they post pictures and advice is given about areas that could be tweaked here or there. This thread however is NOT directed at any one person.

Please understand that the experienced snake keepers aren't putting you down, calling you a bad owner or in any way trying to make you look dumb. Everyone is trying, in our own ways, to help you have a wonderful experience as a new owner and to help you have a very healthy, well kept snake. Sometimes this might come across as pushy or abrupt but it's not intended that way. Part of keeping exotics is to keep an open mind and be willing to consider others advice. You should always of course understand the why of that advice, verify that it makes sense and the person giving the advice actually has a clue about what they posted on (compare it to others posts, ask outright how they know this, that type of thing).

To our experienced members, I know it's frustrating sometimes saying the same thing over and over again. I know you sometimes wonder if they are listening but please remember, if you don't present information in a way someone can "hear" it...then you guarantee no one is listening. Please do try to remember the kindness and guidance offered you as a new keeper and pay it forward. There are enough experienced folks on most any forum that no one person has to respond to every post and get burned out in the process and short with their words.

To the new members, please remember that the members here with experience and larger collections are taking a lot of their precious time each day to reach out and try to pass on that help to you. They aren't doing this believe me because they have nothing better to do but rather because they have a passion for these snakes and want to see each and every snake thrive. It never hurts to listen, it never hurts to say thanks or give feedback that a husbandry trick worked for your snake.

Let's all remember that no one person holds all the answers, that an online community with it's variety of experiences and levels of knowledge benefits us all. In the end, the snakes we love and care for will always reap the most benefit from this and that's what it's all about folks!

[JLC]

Thank you, Jo! That's an excellent reminder to us all! If you don't mind, I'd just like to add one thing....


To those who are giving advice....please remember that it's not your duty to make sure someone else takes your advice. All we can do is offer it. It's the other person's choice whether or not to take it. Sometimes we do have a tendency to belabor a point to death in an attempt to convince someone to take our advice.

And to those receiving advice...whether asked for or not....do remember it's entirely up to you whether you take that advice or not. If you don't like what you are being told, you don't have to convince anyone else here that they are wrong. Just nod and say, "thanks for the words" and continue to do whatever you think is best.

The long, drawn-out debates....while on rare occasions, amusing...are simply not necessary. Each and every one of us is capable of deciding what is right for our animals and acting on that, without having to convert the entire world to our way of thinking.

I would implore anyone who receives advice to carefully weigh and consider its merits...but the choice of what ultimately to do is always in your own hands and not anyone else's. As are the consequences of those choices.

[frankykeno]

Thanks Judy. You're one of our most balanced members when it comes to this sort of thing so I'm always glad for your thoughts.

[recycling goddess]

i hope this is a stickie!

[West Coast Jungle]

Joanna first post is blank on my screen? refreshed it twice.

[python.princess]

what skin do you have raul? her post is black so if your skin is too.... try highlighting it!

[West Coast Jungle]

what skin do you have raul? her post is black so if your skin is too.... try highlighting it!

Thanks I had the black skin

[frankykeno]

Oops sorry Raul, my colors went funky so I put the post all in black. Apparently me cleaning my keyboard this morning made Mr. Computer all sad LOL (dang coffee stains...I really must stop drinking coffee while half awake reading posts in the morning :firstcup: )

[recycling goddess]

i think it's the laughing and spitting coffee out your nose that does it jo LOL

[frankykeno]

Well if folks around here would put a "THIS IS HILARIOUS" warning on their threads it might help me and my poor old computer!