Need to talk...

[Reptilian]

It seems from time to time, usually around certain times of the month, I get stuck in Mommy Mode. And I am stuck in it at this morning. I have all the pets to be motherly too, but I do want something more. My fiance and I plan on starting a family once we are married which will be in October.

I've heard to give it a year or two of trying before consulting outside sources on other options and stuff. So we've got plenty of time.

But anyway...

I thought I'd come on here and ask a few questions to all the rookie and veteran moms and dads out there.

What was the your babies nursery's theme?

Other than your first hold, what memory stick best in your mind of your little one? It doesn't nessicerily have to be when they were babies.

Share your experiences or advice.

[frankykeno]

What a wonderful thing to plan for a much wanted baby! Congrats honey! Couple of things to do now before you get preggers. Google for information about preparing for a pregnancy. Taking folic acid and extra iron now before you become pregnant is proven to be of great benefit for you and the future little one.

I had 4 babies so various baby room themes....princesses and castles for one of my daughters, baby looney tunes for one of our sons. Basically anything that struck me as cute at the time.

Memories...Kate's first day at school, watching my first child get on that bus and just knowing life was changing that day and wanting to hold on to her just a bit longer before she went out into "the big world"....Bethie having a seizure, going through the tests with her so small and thinking at the time that my heart would just simply stop beating if she wasn't okay....Luke deciding at age 4 that "fart" was the bestest word and him managing to sneak in a "Merry Fartmas" to his grandmother! (try to look parental when all you really want to do is hide and laugh your butt off)....Mikey giving me a frown when I say no that is the exact duplicate of his dad....the first time any child looks at you and says "I love you mommy"...that's a tear jerker, heart stopping moment of pure bliss.

Nothing in this life Layna will prepare you for falling in love with your child. There's really no way to describe it, it's like they hand you the baby and your heart just....stops...skips a beat...and you're never really the same again. For a moment in time the world means nothing and it's all about this little life you just produced. They peek at you with their newborn gaze and you become a parent in that one simple moment of bonding. Watching the man you love hold the child you grew under your heart....well girl...there's something very special about that....still makes me get all teary.

[frankykeno]

Oh one bit of advice, just from my own birthing experiences. If you can and want to use a licensed midwife (they do hospital births of course) rather than a doctor I'd highly recommend it. I had three doctor assisted births and one midwife assisted birth and I can honestly say if I had to do it again I'd go all midwives. They just tend to not "manage" your pregnancy and delivery with a view to it being a "medical" issue as doctors do. Midwives usually see it as the natural process it is, give you more choices, less drugs, more participation by your partner. All in all Mikey's midwife assisted birth was a lovely and still safe birthing experience that I wish I could have had with his three older siblings.

[modfrogg]

our first nursery theme was dragons ( introduce them to reptiles very early)

my fav. memory either when my oldest lily was only about 2 1/2 months i was on the floor playing with her she kicked and her foot got stuck in my ear ( I have big stretched ear lobes) or when she was about a year and 8 months old the first time she pet one of our snakes ( a ball python now she helps me feed our lizards and clean our snake cages)

[Reptilian]

I have a memory of my little sister. We're 8 years apart, so I remember when she was younger. She was 4 maybe and loved to wear mom's heeled shoes and she's walk around in them all dressed up. She's get into mom's makeup and play dress up. It was kinda cute now that I think about...lol.

[Ginevive]

I am sorry if I'm a little out of line here; I don't have kids, but I watch my 2-y/o niece pretty often. I can only say that they grow realllly fast, and it seems like every week she is learning 100 new things.. wow. I wanted to say, you should treasure your kids' young years, because I was so blown-away by how fast they grow once my sister had this kid (I never had younger siblings.) Wow!

[recycling goddess]

themes? colour, colour, colour of course, we co-sleep so they are in our room so we add heaps of colour to our room for them. i always hang a lot of things from the ceiling as they spend so much time looking up. so, in the bedroom, living room, kitchen... there were hanging stuffies, etc all facing the floor for a good view for the baby.

as for memories... i have three kids 20, 13 ane 8... so i have lots from each.

first for eldest daughter... when i saw in her diaper that she WAS a girl... i was so sure they lied to me and she was a boy (even bought all blue sleepers LOL)

my son... him leaping naked from the top of his little tikes mini van onto the couch...

my youngest daughter... when she was in my belly, her daddy would come into the room and she's know it... she'd start kicking up a storm.... day or night. she was such a daddy's girl!

as for a midwife... oh ya... GREAT idea. a doula is wonderful as well. she's there to assist you in labour, not birth!

i also breastfed until the child/baby weaned. 13.5 months on the eldest. 3.75 years for my son and my youngest... 4.25 years old. and worth every single moment!

kids become independent soon enough... giving them a warm safe place when they are young is vital IMO... so don't push them to do things... let them do it on their own time.

mean what you say, say what you mean and do what you say you are going to and you'll do GREAT as a parent!

[TheAudOne]

well her first theme was fairies...not the cheesy kid ones though.
I held onto to almost every second with her...we nursed and co-slep so those were AMAZING bonding moments....my best memories to date...she was 2 months and I got into my moms huge bathtub with her...we laid there in the warm water her nursing..skin to skin and I could feel her tiny heart beating next to me....I sat there for so long i had to keep adding warm water....but for some reason it was amazing...early morning golden sun coming through the window...breath taking moment for me...I had those "omg I'm a mom" moments all the time and I still do! I dont think that ever stops....My favorite age was 9 months and younger though...she needed me more then she ever will in life and I ate up each moment like it would never stop...I wish I took more pictures and made videos more often....gosh those were fun times.... oh man I want a baby again :eek: And yes I wish she nursed longer...coslep longer et etc. I let her decide when to stop or start anything....she started to cut back on nursing at about 13 months...but continued for some time (just has started trying to sneek some breast milk when I'm not looking...sleeping in bed topless...taking a bath with her etc LOL) The moments pass to darn fast...but new memories are born...right now she is my lil partner in crime...a huge help with everything and a busy body to hell and back...
Oh and my/her sling...that was the best thing I bought....i have to post a pic of her in it...I would sling her on my back..I had to always have her in my arms or in that sling..she was horribly attached...ok I was to We did alot in that sling while she lay all cozy and snug on my back...golfing..took showers (she was on my hip for that)..water parks...the beach...around town...yard work...dog parks...house cleaning etc...that thing got used to death!

[Reptilian]

So, to change the subject slightly, what is the hardest thing about being a parent?

[frankykeno]

Not a subject change at all hon, parenting is wonderfully joyful but anyone that tells you it's not tough or occasionally heartbreaking or heart stopping is a liar (or on REALLY good meds). LOL

Let's see, the tough stuff....with infants it's the lack of sleep, the mindless comments people make about how "they" did it (grandparents can be sometimes bad about this), the self-doubt and just plain worry that the little one will suddenly stop breathing or not eat enough. Comes with the territory and they are actually a lot more resiliant than they appear. Oh and if nursing, your boobs get a mind of their own and if you just have to laugh a lot of that off. You also wonder if you will ever have a love life again, you will but it'll be different but that's okay too.

As they grow, the worry when they are first do something without you, the pull to allow them to grow independent of you versus your need to keep them close and always safe in your arms. The scary times when fevers spike, bones snap or blood appears and you just feel so horrible for them and think you're the worst parent on the planet (and you're not of course). I hated getting their shots, even though I know they must have innoculations I hated it every single time. When they don't win a race or a game or a friend snubs them....that just hits your heart hard.

Once they get close to teens it's about sex, drugs, decisions, driving, school, dating, parties, hormones and moods. The first girlfriend/boyfriend that breaks their heart....well you know what it's like to want to kill somebody. It's a tough time to be a parent and all I ever could figure to do was love them when they weren't being very lovable and help them survive despite themselves. I've got one just turning 20 and she made it through, the middle two are 15 and 13 and I'm in praying mode for the next few years LOL. The little 6 year old will be there before I blink.

Flat out scariest for me though is anytime one of my kids has had a surgery (not often thanks be to God). It's a feeling beyond words when they wheel them away and I never took a deep breath until I was in the recovery room with them. It just simply sucks (even small deals like tonsils...still...sucks!).

In the end it's the toughest, most wonderful "job" in the world and you often don't know if you've done it right until it's too late and they are grown. When it gets tough you wonder why you had kids...but then you can't imagine life or yourself without them.