For the Atlantans!

[rabernet]

To play off of Sarah's post!

Basic Rules of Driving in Metro Atlanta

1.A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting construction barrels.

2.Turn signals are just clues as to your next move in road battle so never use them.

3.Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, no matter how fast you're going. If you do, the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

4.Large SUV drivers think they're immortal (especially if they have 4WD); don't succumb to the temptation to test this theory.

5.The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

6.Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive body work. (Remember no-fault insurance, he might not have much to lose, you do.)

7.Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to insure that your ABS kicks in giving a nice relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates.

8.Construction signs tell you about road closures immediately after you pass the exit before the traffic begins to back up.

9.The new electronic traffic warning system signs are not there to provide useful information, they're there just to make Atlanta look high-tech.

10.Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.

11.Speed limits (84.1 mph average on the Perimeter) are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and apparently not enforceable in the metro area during rush hour.

12.Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that an Atlanta driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

13.Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during rush-hour traffic in Atlanta.

14.Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even a person changing a tire. It might be more interesting than the articles in last week's National Enquirer.

15.Throwing litter on the roads adds variety to the landscape, keeps the existing litter from getting lonely and gives Adopt-a-Mile highway crews something to clean up.

16.Everybody thinks their vehicle is better than yours (especially pickup truck
drivers with stickers of Calvin peeing on a Ford, Dodge or Chevy logo).

17.Learn to swerve abruptly. Atlanta is the home of high-speed slalom driving
thanks to GDOT, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers'
reflexes and keep them on their toes.

18.It is traditional in Atlanta to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes.

19.When the light turns green, put the pedal to the metal; gas is cheap in Atlanta, pollution is a myth and this is a drag race isn't it?

20.Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way.

21.Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding.

22.If you smoke, never, ever, use your ash tray to dispose of your cigarette butts. Instead, flick them out of your window while they're still lit. This contributes to the landscape along Georgia's highways, and motorcyclists love it when a lit cigarette butt hits them in the face.

23.Remember that the goal of every Atlanta driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary. AND DON'T FORGET! YOU MIGHT AS WELL STAY
AT HOME IF IT'S RAINING OR SNOWING!

[rabernet]

And a few more!


Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Atlanta driver
never uses them.

Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered
"going with the flow."

Real Atlanta women drivers can put on pantyhose and apply eye makeup
at seventy-five miles per hour in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

Real Atlanta men drivers can remove pantyhose and a bra at seventy-five
miles per hour in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

Ice, snow, fog, and rain are no reason to change any of the previously
listed rules. These weather conditions are God's way ensuring a natural
selection process for body shops, junkyards, and new vehicle sales.

Peachtree street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused with Peachtree Circle, Peachtree Place, Peachtree Lane, Peachtree Road, Peachtree Parkway, Peachtree Run, Peachtree Trace, Peachtree Avenue, Peachtree Commons, Peachtree Battle, Peachtree Corners, Peachtree Station Circle, Old Peachtree, or Peachtree Industrial Boulevard.


If you ask anyone for directions, they will always send you down Peachtree


Gate One at the Airport is 32 miles away from the Main Concourse so wear sneakers and pack a lunch. The doors on the trains in the Airport do not reopen like an elevator if you stick your hand out. They hurt.


It is impossible to go around a block and wind up on the street where you started. The Chamber of Commerce calls it a "scenic drive," and posted signs to that effect so that out-of-towners don't feel lost...they're just on a "scenic drive".

The 8:00 am rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30am. The 5:00 pm rush hour is from 3:30 to 7:30pm. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning and lasts through 2:00am Saturday. Reversible lanes are not understood by anybody ...especially those of us who live here. Stay out of them unless you are looking for a head-on collision.

"Sir" and "Madam" are used by the person speaking to you if there's a remote possibility that you're at least 30 minutes older than they are. "Sugar" is a more common form of address than "Miss." So is "Sweetpea". "Honey" is always used by Waffle House waitresses.

Ponce de Leon Avenue can only be pronounced by a native, so do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you. (The Atlanta pronunciation is "pahnss duh LEE-on.)

The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules; so will daylight savings time, a girl applying eye shadow in the next car, or a flat tire three lanes over.

If a single snowflake falls the city is paralyzed for three days and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a month. All the grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer if there is a remote chance of snow, and if it does snow, people will be on the corner selling "I survived the blizzard" Tee shirts.

If you're standing on a corner and a MARTA Bus stops, you're expected to get on and go somewhere.

It is always Smog Alert Day.

Construction on Peachtree Street is a way of life, and a permanent form of entertainment, especially when a water line is tapped and Atlanta's version of Old Faithful erupts.

Construction crews are not doing their job properly unless they close down all lanes except one during rush hour.

Atlanta's traffic is the friendliest around. The commuters spend hours mingling with each other twice a day. In fact, Atlanta's traffic is rated number one in the country. You will often see people parked beside the road and engaged in lively discussion.

Atlantans are very proud of our racetrack, known as Road Atlanta. It winds through the city on the Intestates, hence the name. Actually, I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta and has a posted speed limit of 55 mph (but you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run over) is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500".


Georgia 400 is the southern equivalent of the Autobahn.You will rarely see a semi-truck on GA400, because even the truck drivers are intimidated by the oversized-SUV- wielding housewives racing home after a grueling day at the salon or the tennis match to meet their children at the school bus coming home from the college prep preschool.

The pollen count is off the national scale for unhealthy which starts at 120. Atlanta is usually in the 2,000 to 4,000 range. All roads, vehicles, houses, are yellow from March 28th to July 15th. If you have any allergies, you will die.

The last thing you want to do is give another driver the International sign of ill will, unless your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full clip.


Atlanta is home of Coca-Cola. That's all we drink here, so don't ask for any other soft drink...unless it's made by Coca Cola. Even then, it's still "Coke". Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home.

[Stewart_Reptiles]

Oh my god, so true and so scary.

[frankykeno]

Omg Robin I'm dying laughing here! Ummm what do you folks call gingerale? (pssstttt will I get shot for asking for a gingerale in your fair city?)

[rabernet]

Omg Robin I'm dying laughing here! Ummm what do you folks call gingerale? (pssstttt will I get shot for asking for a gingerale in your fair city?)

No, but you'd probably get a Coke!

[mxrider42]

The rule i like the best is
Green light means Go
Yellow light means Speed Up
Red Light means 5 More Cars
Its always an adventure to drive in Atlanta and never plan to be on time.
Trey

[rabernet]

Its always an adventure to drive in Atlanta and never plan to be on time.
Trey

Ain't that the truth! One reason why I choose to start my work day at 6!