I need help with my life

[SarahMB]

I don't think anyone can really advise you on what to do, not knowing the people involved, but I would definitely tell you to be prepared for rejection or disappointment if you do decide to contact your birth family members.
I tracked down my birth mother when I was 21, and we rarely talk. When we do, it's pretty awkward and not at all fulfilling. I also know some adoptive/birth people that have reunited, and even when it's good, it's still a lot of hard work to build something that resembles a relationship. I don't know a single person who has said meeting solved any problems or was in any way an easy step to take.
My heart is with you, whatever you decided. I do know how hard this decision is to make, and the consequences are never what was expected.

[Vomitore]

Also, with your comment of suicidal thoughts, here's my view. I live by this actually ... No matter how bad you have it, someone else has it WAY worse then you. It's hard if you say what happens with you is true. But the best way tp deal with it is to talk to a teacher at school. Tell them what is going on and go from there.

[Broseph]

Isn't there a social worker that is involved when people adopt? if not talk to a counsler at school. but you should diffenetly talk to someone if you are having any kinda of thought like that..best of luck, hope things get better for you.

[RoyalGuardian]

Also, with your comment of suicidal thoughts, here's my view. I live by this actually ... No matter how bad you have it, someone else has it WAY worse then you. It's hard if you say what happens with you is true. But the best way tp deal with it is to talk to a teacher at school. Tell them what is going on and go from there.

I know but that isnt my life. all I want are parents who love me and I need to know if this heart break will go away if I get love from atleast one parent of mine. all my life i have been treated like dirt, or a rock in someones shoe, or one of those itches you can't seem to scratch well enough to satisfy. I know people are starving around the world but im starving too but im love starved(cept from my friends). Its all I want is a mom to tell me how pretty I look or a father who supports my wants in life.

[AzureN1ght]

How long have you been with this particular adoptive family? Is the way they're treating you a new phenomenon? Have you talked to them about how they make you feel?

[slartibartfast]

In my experience, obsessing and stressing out over how much your life sucks will just make you more unhappy. I've been there and done that, and I made myself miserable about things I had no control over.

Make a list of the things that make you unhappy. Divide it into two groups...things you can change, and things you cannot. Work on the first list, and shrug off the second. Find things that make you happy. At worst you have maybe a few more years in this situation, and I know that seems like eternity now but believe me, it's nothing.

The best thing about living through hell is that you can look back and laugh at it all; and when life gets rough you'll know you can handle it, because you've already been through the worst. I spent three years with an abusive, dishonest, deceitful husband. When I think of all the things I went through, nothing in the future holds any worry for me, because none of it can possibly be as bad as what I've already survived. And if I can survive that, I can survive anything. You can too.

[wolfy-hound]

Just speaking from personal experiance with my own life.
My parents treated me like crap. They thought I was worthless, despite all I did for them.
You are looking for outside approval. Forget it. Until you decide you are worthwhile, you'll be misrable. Don't think that your 'birth father' will love you and make you feel good about yourself. Don't lean on others, because they won't be able to supply that feeling. You have to realzie that you are a person, and you deserve to be happy.
Talk to a councelor, at school or whereever. Talk to friends. But until you stand up on your hindlegs and say "I'm worth more than this." you won't find happiness. I had to do it. It took me a long time to realize that I deserved to live.
Sorry if this seems harsh, but it's truth, from my reality. I only want to help you. You can be a strong, powerful, successful person. But ONLY you can become that person. No amount of help, no amount of love, and no amount of talking to you can make that happen. It only comes from inside you. And it's there.
Wolfy

[fishmommy]

Just speaking from personal experiance with my own life.
My parents treated me like crap. They thought I was worthless, despite all I did for them.
You are looking for outside approval. Forget it. Until you decide you are worthwhile, you'll be misrable. Don't think that your 'birth father' will love you and make you feel good about yourself. Don't lean on others, because they won't be able to supply that feeling. You have to realzie that you are a person, and you deserve to be happy.
Talk to a councelor, at school or whereever. Talk to friends. But until you stand up on your hindlegs and say "I'm worth more than this." you won't find happiness. I had to do it. It took me a long time to realize that I deserved to live.
Sorry if this seems harsh, but it's truth, from my reality. I only want to help you. You can be a strong, powerful, successful person. But ONLY you can become that person. No amount of help, no amount of love, and no amount of talking to you can make that happen. It only comes from inside you. And it's there.
Wolfy

These are words of wisdom!
you need to make your own happiness
give your own approval
if your parents are jerks don't take their words/actions to heart
prepare yourself for success after you are old enough to leave them
and wait it out! It may seem like forever but it's just a tiny sliver of the happy life you will have afterward

it took me years of therapy to write off what my parents said/did as being their faults not mine. If you can start realizing this right now it will help you a great deal!

[MeMe]

You are looking for outside approval. Forget it. Until you decide you are worthwhile, you'll be misrable. Don't think that your 'birth father' will love you and make you feel good about yourself. Don't lean on others, because they won't be able to supply that feeling. You have to realzie that you are a person, and you deserve to be happy.
Talk to a councelor, at school or whereever. Talk to friends. But until you stand up on your hindlegs and say "I'm worth more than this." you won't find happiness. I had to do it. It took me a long time to realize that I deserved to live.
Sorry if this seems harsh, but it's truth, from my reality. I only want to help you. You can be a strong, powerful, successful person. But ONLY you can become that person. No amount of help, no amount of love, and no amount of talking to you can make that happen. It only comes from inside you. And it's there.
Wolfy

This is all so VERY true! I am sorry to hear you are having a hard time. I too had a rough childhood. but...I am 33 now and I absolutely LOVE my life. To be honest...growing up I NEVER thought anything of the future because I thought I would be dead before I turned 20. I thought at the time I had to have the WORST family in the world. My step-dad HATED me and my 2 siblings and abused us (physically and mentally) DAILY. But awwed over his 3 kids (my other sibs). It is aweful to feel like you are NOT loved by a parent. My mom was abused by him so she "felt trapped" and since this was 20 years ago...there wasn't much help from neighbors or even the state. I also had an absent parent. I have never met my birth Father...and I don't think I really care to. He was never around when "i needed him". One of the reasons I don't care is because I fear the disappointment that may come along with meeting him. Will I meet his expectations...Will he meet mine...Will he be mean...sick...needy..alive...or just a p.o.s. I hope that if you contact your Father you won't have to be faced with any disappointments. You do DESERVE to be happy! We all do Just know that being "young" (I don't want to call you a kid ) only lasts for a little while and there is a HUGE WORLD out there waiting for you and before you know it...you will find happiness

The only other thing I wanna tell you is TALK TO SOMEONE! Talk with someone at school.That's what they are there for. Just talking to someone makes a world of difference! It feels good to have somebody listen who isn't going to "judge" you

[SarahMB]

Its all I want is a mom to tell me how pretty I look or a father who supports my wants in life.

Heh, I know exactly how that feels, it's all I've ever wanted as well. My father is dead, I rejected my adoptive mom, and my birth mom is a dud. I have to borrow other people's parents a lot, like when Becky and her mom helped me shop for Lobby Day.

I really hope things go well if you make that call. I'm not into gods or goddesses, but as a humanist, I'll certainly be here if you have questions or just want to talk. I'm not at all shy about sharing the details of my own experience, and now I'm a parent of my own 15 yr old daughter, so I believe I have some insight. Maybe even a little wisdom