Army

[Amy05]

I was wondering if anybody has a girl friend/boy friend/ hubbie/ wife that is/has been in the Army or any other Military branch. My boyfriend of almost a year just left again, this time for 6 months. He is still in training, he was gone for boot camp for 2 months, came home for Xmas, and now is gone for the rest of boot camp (only a week), and AIT (where they learn their trade). He is in the National Guard for Computer work.
It is really hard for the both of us. Luckily, stuff like this only makes us stronger, but it sucks. I'm used to being with him 24/7, falling asleep with him(yeah, i know we are young, we don't live together, his mom is just a free spirit and trusts us to sleep together and behave. lol)., waking up with him, etc. and it is difficult.

Any advice/stories?

Thanks all!

[Entropy]

Well my husband is in the Navy. We were together for five years when he made the decision (a rather foolish decision he now realizes though he didn't want to listen to me at the time) to join the navy. Last year he was in boot camp from August to the end of December. Was home for a short time before going to his command (WA) then went on deployment from Feb to August then back to Indiana to get married and THEN back out here and I was finally able to move out here the end of September.

So far there is no good things about the navy. Due to them not modding his original orders our stuff is still in Indiana . Tricare is a joke, just TRY to get healthcare .etc. etc. etc.

Okay, stepping away from the rant.

It's difficult when he's on deployment, however the navy doesn't usually go for the length that the army or marines do, with things the way they are I'm not sure about the national guards time. Work days are long, I take him to the ship at 5a.m and he usually gets to leave around 6-6:30p.m.
Pay...psh, my civilian part time job brings home as much as his bi-weekly paychecks and it's hard to plan because they never pay him the same amount twice. Never.
He is going to put in an OJT chit in February for IT (computers) but it's going to be interesting to see if he'll be able to do it since everyone is after him to strike boatsmans mate which he does NOT want...it's not his fault half of his shipmates don't work.

Sorry..ranting again.

It's really hard when they're gone, REALLY hard, but the emails and phone calls make it almost bearable. And then when they come back it's that much better. I have an EOS tracker that says how many more days Ryan has in the navy (under 1000 YAY) and it's nice to refresh that every few days. Keeps me sane.
I usually try to keep a good sense of humor about it all, he gets enough stress at the ship so when he comes home I tend to avoid all navy talk unless he brings something up. Not to say I don't rant elsewhere, many people know the depth of loathing that I reserve for the navy but I try not to keep bashing Ryan in the head with it.

So..that's my early morning edition to this topic. I'll probably want to reach for the edit button if I read this after waking up.
Good luck Amy

[Freakie_frog]

My best Friend is in the Army (Special Forces) and my brother is a Marine. I know about the missing them it'll get better and the National Guard is loads better than the regular army. Best of luck and tell him that I as well as everyone here thanks him for what he is doing and that he is in our thoughts.

[TekWarren]

I'm in the NG myself. I had been with my wife about 4-5yrs and married for less than a year before I went to basic. Her letters really kept me going, actually letters from anyone! It was hard but it was a choice I made and I knew we could endure it.

On a side note, I wish there was a computer related MOS with NG near me, that would be perfect! I got stuck with an infantry unit but that specifically hasn't been a bad thing.

Anyone who asks me about the military or tells me they are thinking of joining, I usually recommend something they will enjoy and can use in the "civilian" world as well. Sounds like he made a good choice.

[itzazoo]

Amy,
I could go on forever about life in the military but I will keep it short and sweet. I spent my first 8 yrs active duty Army and then transferred over to the Coast Guard where I have been since '99(15yrs all together). I met my wife between transferring from the Army to Coast Guard. Even though I was familiar with the military life it was a big adjustment for my wife. When I reported to the Coast Guard I was due to go on patrol within a couple of weeks. I would be gone for three months. My wife was flipping. She had a hard time trusting me and always thought I was cheating on her while I was gone. Well this went on for atleast a couple of years. After a year or so of me being gone for months at a time she soon adjusted to the life and our marriage became stronger.
As I said I could go on forever, but I won't. The military life and relationships could be very difficult at times, but it's up to you and your partner to make things work. Don't be affraid to ask questions about the military there are alot of support groups out there too that could help.
If you believe you have a strong relationship don't worry to much. Right now your boyfriend has more things to worry about than worring about you worrying about him(did that make sense). Even though you worry about him try and not to show it to much. He has more important things on his mind right now. You have to be just as strong as he in your relationship. If both of you do this and not let the military ruin your lives you will both be fine.

[xdeus]

(yeah, i know we are young, we don't live together, his mom is just a free spirit and trusts us to sleep together and behave. lol)., waking up with him, etc. and it is difficult.

Any advice/stories?

"lol"? You're 15, correct? As a father, my advice would be to show a little restraint and respect for your parents and his mother.

I'm sure it's not the answer you were looking for, but you did ask for advice...

[Amy05]

Wow, a lot of responces...

It's really hard when they're gone, REALLY hard, but the emails and phone calls make it almost bearable. And then when they come back it's that much better. I have an EOS tracker that says how many more days Ryan has in the navy (under 1000 YAY) and it's nice to refresh that every few days. Keeps me sane.
I usually try to keep a good sense of humor about it all, he gets enough stress at the ship so when he comes home I tend to avoid all navy talk unless he brings something up. Not to say I don't rant elsewhere, many people know the depth of loathing that I reserve for the navy but I try not to keep bashing Ryan in the head with it.

So..that's my early morning edition to this topic. I'll probably want to reach for the edit button if I read this after waking up.
Good luck Amy

Yeah, it is hard while hes gone. But for now he is still in boot camp, and he can't send emails, and rarely gets phonecalls. When he does, they are short and its hard to hear him, but they are still great. Letters are my favorite, but they work so hard in basic, it is hard for him to write to everybody.

I keep everything on a positive note, he likes talking about the army, he thinks a lot of it is cool, so he rants about it (its hard with all the abreviations and code words for things to keep up).

I'm in the NG myself. I had been with my wife about 4-5yrs and married for less than a year before I went to basic. Her letters really kept me going, actually letters from anyone! It was hard but it was a choice I made and I knew we could endure it.

On a side note, I wish there was a computer related MOS with NG near me, that would be perfect! I got stuck with an infantry unit but that specifically hasn't been a bad thing.

Anyone who asks me about the military or tells me they are thinking of joining, I usually recommend something they will enjoy and can use in the "civilian" world as well. Sounds like he made a good choice.

Yeah, i'm glad he picked computer stuff. He is based right near us, so he is going to live at home and still be able to work and such. And, yes, i am soo glad because computer work gets you far in this world now a days, and he'll have some great training. AND he is going to college for it, and they are paying for that too, so he's going to be quite knowledgable.

Amy,
I could go on forever about life in the military but I will keep it short and sweet. I spent my first 8 yrs active duty Army and then transferred over to the Coast Guard where I have been since '99(15yrs all together). I met my wife between transferring from the Army to Coast Guard. Even though I was familiar with the military life it was a big adjustment for my wife. When I reported to the Coast Guard I was due to go on patrol within a couple of weeks. I would be gone for three months. My wife was flipping. She had a hard time trusting me and always thought I was cheating on her while I was gone. Well this went on for atleast a couple of years. After a year or so of me being gone for months at a time she soon adjusted to the life and our marriage became stronger.
As I said I could go on forever, but I won't. The military life and relationships could be very difficult at times, but it's up to you and your partner to make things work. Don't be affraid to ask questions about the military there are alot of support groups out there too that could help.
If you believe you have a strong relationship don't worry to much. Right now your boyfriend has more things to worry about than worring about you worrying about him(did that make sense). Even though you worry about him try and not to show it to much. He has more important things on his mind right now. You have to be just as strong as he in your relationship. If both of you do this and not let the military ruin your lives you will both be fine.

I worry about him some, i miss him most though. I dont worry too much. I know he won't cheat on me (well that and i know he can't leave and there are no girls there. lol.). He is one of those guys that likes to sit at home and read, he is really dorky, loves D&D, and all that good stuff. He's really loyal.
So far the military has only brought us closer...we have made it this far, i'm pretty sure we can make it through the military for a few more months.

"lol"? You're 15, correct? As a father, my advice would be to show a little restraint and respect for your parents and his mother.

I'm sure it's not the answer you were looking for, but you did ask for advice...

I'm 16, but yeah, we have a ton of respect for them. And when i said sleep together, i mean actually sleeping (we're not going to ruin our future just because hormones took over).
Yeah, i did ask for advice, and i got it. lol. But like i said, we are quite controlled/mature for our ages.

[TekWarren]

I was always told to "make good choices" when I was (still am?) growing up. Without needing details about your personal lives I'd say you are both on the right track!

[Entropy]

Well Ryan's run through bootcamp was...difficult. His mother and I are bearly on civil terms so I got all the letters (snail mail, came every Thursday) and his mother got the three or so phone calls so she wouldn't have a fit.
Ryan hated boot so it was always work to keep him upbeat all that. I tend to be very very long winded in letters. He regularly recieved four or five page letters, I usually had to be happy with a paragraph (which is loooong for him).
It's good that your bf is happy about his decision, that makes it a bit easier.

[Amy05]

Well Ryan's run through bootcamp was...difficult. His mother and I are bearly on civil terms so I got all the letters (snail mail, came every Thursday) and his mother got the three or so phone calls so she wouldn't have a fit.
Ryan hated boot so it was always work to keep him upbeat all that. I tend to be very very long winded in letters. He regularly recieved four or five page letters, I usually had to be happy with a paragraph (which is loooong for him).
It's good that your bf is happy about his decision, that makes it a bit easier.

lmao. sounds about right. His mom always freaks out when he leaves, and takes stuff out on me, so we have little arguments for a week or so then we work it out. I think my bf sent me like 5 letters, and she got like 1 and a 2-3 phonecalls. She was pretty angry, but, she complains to him when he writes or whatever, so i think he wrote to me for comfort.

I was always told to "make good choices" when I was (still am?) growing up. Without needing details about your personal lives I'd say you are both on the right track!

Thanks. I'm pretty sure we are too. Its so hard to explain, i have never felt like this, and i try to explain how i feel, but every time i do i end up sounding like this silly in love teen. oh well....whatever people want to think is what they are going to think.
anyways...... i wish you luck in the guard too!